kenny987:
Hmmm! I'm at a loss for words, I'm even more marvelled at the faith and 'die-hard' trust in God depicted on this thread while going through harrowing experiences. May the Lord Himself strengthen u all who have lost beloved partners n parents. He has promised to be with us till the end of time, never said there'd be no fire bt that He'll be with us in that fire so that we're not consumed.
I've learned great lessons here...

God bless you all who mourn and are still mourning,, thanks for sharing your lives, experiences n pains. God bless your beautiful kids n comfort u all.

I am encouraged, after having started reading this entire thread from 5'30am till now(1.36pm), and I know that God has plans for me...I now know I can heal and be stronger cos though I'm nt married, I've felt d 'pain' of love...2ice I've loved deeply and had it thrown back in my face...I've shed bitter tears but like d proverbial Phoenix, I choose to rise out of the ashes and be alive cos if nothing else, I've learned that love is worth it all....I will love again and be loved right back! God knows I hurt but because of His mercy n love, I am whole...

greatgod2012:
To all others that are also bereaved, may God continue to comfort you. It's not easy i know, it's over a year that my brother lost his wife, the kids have been with me since then, but my brother still weep almost everyday, not easy to be consoled at all, even though the kids barely knows what is happening. Honestly, it's not easy, may God continue to comfort them.
I don't want to question God, but i really don't know why this death issue is not only about old people, it's heart wrenching to see one's loved ones, still young with good and lovely dreams just vanish into the hand of death just like that. May God please forgive me for this, i'm just human afterall, thinking aloud.

sello555:
@serubawon@RTFM@subomioluwa,hope u guys are good,bin a while. I trust God is at work.

serubawon:
.

Yes, it's been quite a while. New job description at work; studying for exams and juggling family life has really taken up my time. Presently, I have my former in-laws and future in-laws in town for the summer and that alone is really driving me nuts. Updates are on their way as soon as I have time to make them. Things are good. Oloris daughter's recovery has been gradual, but there is still a long way to go. Having brain surgery means things are not the same as they used to be and she is going through therapy and rehab. We put things on hold because of that and want her to be more stable before we go ahead with our plans. Hope everyone is doing well. @RTFM & subomioluwa, drop by and let us know how things are with both of you. I'm sure people are concerned and want to know how you are faring. With God, Nothing Shall Be Impossible.

serubawon:
.

Yes, it's been quite a while. New job description at work; studying for exams and juggling family life has really taken up my time. Presently, I have my former in-laws and future in-laws in town for the summer and that alone is really driving me nuts. Updates are on their way as soon as I have time to make them. Things are good. Oloris daughter's recovery has been gradual, but there is still a long way to go. Having brain surgery means things are not the same as they used to be and she is going through therapy and rehab. We put things on hold because of that and want her to be more stable before we go ahead with our plans. Hope everyone is doing well. @RTFM & subomioluwa, drop by and let us know how things are with both of you. I'm sure people are concerned and want to know how you are faring. With God, Nothing Shall Be Impossible.

SubomiOluwa:
Hello Folks,

I ran into these posts whilst I was looking for some support resources during my loss.

I am 38. I lost my wife a month ago. We were together for 16 years (married for over 7 years). She used to say we had a jinxed life. Everything worked for us, career and an enviable loving christain home. I am a hands on dad who juggled home and career successful. I had taken on most house chores, laundry and the kids upkeep from my wife who equally had a very successful career.

We have three sons; 5, 3 and the last one is barely 3 months. Everyone acquainted to me will tell you my life is built around God, my wife and our kids. We have been through a lot together and I must confess she was not only very beautiful outside but had a beautiful soul. She was a mother to all. I never cheated on my wife. I swore that I will not break my vow with her and God, my kids will have a father who they will can look up to and I will cause her no pain.

Trust me I know grief, having lost my mum 25 years ago (blamed myself for years ), my dad over a decade ago and a lovely aunt who practically took care of us after our parents demise. However, this one is very different.

I love her so much and it was very easy to do that, cos she was an angel. During her 1st crisis during child birth, I was with her throughout the 21 day ordeal. My wife wouldn't ever want to inconvenience another, so I played the nurse, bathe her, fed her and even carried her to the bathroom when she was weaned off the bag. I slept on the ICU floor and held a vigil by her side most nights. She got one of the best medical care in the country.

The other crisis lasted 7 days and I took my place at her side even till she went into coma and she eventually passed on. I have tried to be strong not asking the why question and hanging on to my faith in Christ. I know she's in a good place. During her 1st crisis God gave her a glimpse of heaven (she was climbing this stairs and walking into a warm peaceful light. She said her spirit attested to the fact that she was a child of God and she was heading home) but our prayers prevailed and she found herself saying she couldn't leave me and the kids inconsolable.

I am not selfish. I know if she had survived, she would have been brained damaged requiring extensive care which she may never recover from. Isaiah 57:1 talks about the mercy exits of the saints and I know without a doubt that she was one. Testimonies of her life abounds everywhere. She was a non compromising person who held fast to God's standard. She would not even hold a grudge cos like she said, she will allow nothing to hold her back from her heavenly pursuit. Her life was worth emulating. She was a role model to many and people that barely knew her loved her for her kindness, her immense ability to love and go the extra mile to help anyone.

I apologize for my taking too much of your time. I am usually not an expressive person. I am used to internalising my emotions dealing with stuffs on my own and mostly with the help of my wife. It is somewhat different being vulnerable and talking to strangers.

I am at sea at the moment, my whole life was built around her. Why do bad things happen to good people. I'm glad it's me and not her, I can't imagine her going through this travail. We've talked about death and she said she can't imagine life without me. She calls me her rock but she was my soul. She's the reason I'm a better person. To people, they say I am strong cos I am the one consoling them. Privately, I am a wreck. I wail everyday for my love. I do not know life without her, I do not have any other. I barely sleep at night and with the kids all I see is her in them. This pain is too much, when it hits I can barely breath. How do I live without her, how will this pain go away.

Lord help me, holy spirit please comfort me. I trust you Lord and you know I love you. I praise you for in all of this I give thanks, for you are my God, the lifter of my head.

SubomiOluwa:
Hello Folks,

They say the heart beats over 3 billion times in a lifetime. However, August 22nd last year in a heartbeat mine got beat out.

My world collapse, the clock stopped ticking and everything stopped moving. In a beat my entire life was lost in the abyss of despair.

How will I ever continue to live, how will I face the kids, what will I tell them when they ask of mummy, what will this say of my faith and of my God?!!!

At some point I needed to let it out so I poured out my heart on this forum and you folks shared of my grief.

Today, I can sing of God's faithfulness, of how He wrapped His arms around me and gave me peace beyond imagination. He sent people my way who touched me in special ways.

Thank you everyone for being so special, for all your kind words and gesture. Truly someday when I walk through that Golden Gate, I shall find my "Angel" who touched me in an ever special way.

Sleep on my love.
I celebrate the life you lived.
And the love we share.

SubomiOluwa:
Hello Folks,

They say the heart beats over 3 billion times in a lifetime. However, August 22nd last year in a heartbeat mine got beat out.

My world collapse, the clock stopped ticking and everything stopped moving. In a beat my entire life was lost in the abyss of despair.

How will I ever continue to live, how will I face the kids, what will I tell them when they ask of mummy, what will this say of my faith and of my God?!!!

At some point I needed to let it out so I poured out my heart on this forum and you folks shared of my grief.

Today, I can sing of God's faithfulness, of how He wrapped His arms around me and gave me peace beyond imagination. He sent people my way who touched me in special ways.

Thank you everyone for being so special, for all your kind words and gesture. Truly someday when I walk through that Golden Gate, I shall find my "Angel" who touched me in an ever special way.

Sleep on my love.
I celebrate the life you lived.
And the love we share.

CoCoLav:


May God continue to console you.
There is always light at the end of the tunnel

joyAA:
@ bellong concerning my relationship, I might just be paranoid but sometimes he drives me up the wall being childish n all that, he also has his financial issues which I must tell you is putting a strain on our relationship, tho I believe it will soon pass.
He is a strong christian, infact my spiritual life has grown so much since we met, but his faith can be scary sometimes, like putting all his money in a project right on payday and putting every other thing on hold, even feeding and transport to work, sure God provides, I've seen a client dash him 5k (naira) before, but most times he's so broke, I keep insisting its unwise to stretch himself that way but he'll just say I'm realistic and we balance each other out in that regard, but it was just recently I started noticing small changes.
My main fear is if we get married, will he keep doing like this? What if he starts another project again and wait on things like the children's school fees , feeding and stuff? how will the children's school fees come? Will I now be solely responsible financially simply because I don't have "faith"? Or is it a straategy to avoid being financially responsible? My opinion is a wise person will at least keep some money to keep him going till the month ends, I love him but, it breaks my heart to see him live that way, always borrowing, a few times from me, to pay back na story, I'm not even comfortable reminding him he owes me money , he just has management issues, I've been talking to him, and I'm seeing improvement, tho I pray I don't become a nag, generally, I ignore things, but can't ignore something like this because I know it might affect us down the line. I intend to support my husband financially not provide for him!
Then around his family I always feel odd or uneasy, and they aren't always so receptive to me, just regular or civil or whatever, an exception is his Dad tho! The man is always excited to have me around! God bless that man.
So I avoid going to his place without him especially if his Dad is not there.
Sometimes I wonder if he is the one, but then again I just look at o r think of him and just "know" it can't be any other person...its not just love, its a knowledge, dunno how but I just know.
So yea that's what I mean by drama... Sorry for the long epistle

salsera:
I think I need a drink now.

Serubawon I thought NL tsunami carry you go.

Good to hear from you and the family.

ayoolagoke:
I'm really blessed by this post... God bless you all. I lost my wife just last month, and I'm left with our 2months old daughter. It has really been tough I must say. To be a widower at 30 years old isn't a funny thing.

duduade:
Bro it is well. .. u have to be very strong for your daughter. .. God will be your strength. Amen

ayoolagoke:
I'm really blessed by this post... God bless you all. I lost my wife just last month, and I'm left with our 2months old daughter. It has really been tough I must say. To be a widower at 30 years old isn't a funny thing.

ayoolagoke:
I'm really blessed by this post... God bless you all. I lost my wife just last month, and I'm left with our 2months old daughter. It has really been tough I must say. To be a widower at 30 years old isn't a funny thing.