This is my true life story. Am in my early 20's but met him for the first time this year.

Growing up my mom told me how my father left her to go on a business trip when she was pregnant but never returned. She told me they were engaged and did a traditional wedding and he promised they will get married legally as soon as he is back.
After he left, my mom and her family didn't hear from him for years. My mom moved on after waiting for 8 years but the marriage didn't produce another baby till now, though they are still married and every body believe am the man's first and only son. He took me as a son and I see him as a father until my mom told me he is not.

To cut the long story short, my father showed up in our house last month. My mom fainted after seeing him but she regained consciousness at the hospital and then she told me who the man was.
My father came back again after a week, me, my mom and my step father were watching movie in the sitting room when he entered. I was pissed at his sight and went inside but was eavesdropping what they were discussing. I peeped and saw my father rolling on the floor and asking for my mom's forgiveness that he was asked to come take me into his care before he can ever make it in life.
While inside, I wasn't even moved because I hated him so much. I faced him last week and told him he was never my father and I will never go with him. My father begged me to forgive him and spend some time with him since he is my biological father but I don't want to listen
My father has since be coming to our house every day to beg. The excuse he gave for his actions earlier was that he refused to return home because he didn't meet his target, he had hoped to be rich before coming home but was ashamed since things didn't work out for him on his trip.

Am confused as to what to do now. Help pls

To repay evil for evil is devilish
To repay good for good is human but
To repay good for evil is divine.
It is difficult though but if u don't forgive him ur progress may be hindered too. Let it go n learn some lessons from his mistake ur self.

Just forgive and forget



All will b well




http://www.mynigerianewspaper.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=660

Just find it in your heart to forgive him, holding a grudge against him wouldn't help you either..

But don't move in with him, he should be paying visits and you return it too. Probably spend weekends with him or holidays..

He needs ur forgiveness to be successful? What then happens after he is successful?


He is still ur popsi sha. But saying he needs ur forgiveness to be sucessful is rather selfish. Man u are the one to decide. I suggest u should pray before making a decision. Also talk to mature people u can trust.

Man, try and study the man well. If he gets what he wants he might leave again. Not that he is important in your life but you shouldn't trust someone like that.

He came back because he was not successful, so the reason he came back was because he is poor. That means, if he is rich, he won't even know your address.

He needs to show that he has truly changed.

Kippin da pain hurts u urself. Forgv n help urself. Besyds if u dnt forgive, wat more cn u do? Jus work hard n let ur father who trained u enjoy too. Help ur biological dad if necessary.

Just forgive him...There is always a reason for everything. God is the architect of ones life.
No one else can be your dad.

the problem people have in life is that we rush into things we are not prepared for, and when we meet the required challenges, we run back with tails tucked in between our legs. It's a very difficult thing to forgive prodigal father, I can't even imaging what I'll fell like to be in your shoes, cause there is no justifiable excuse to warrant a man to forsake his family.
But the real truth is that forgiveness frees the mind, not forgiving him is a burden to him as much as it is to you, if you can find it in your heart to forgive him, do so, but never forget for even the Bible says what so ever a man soweth, that he shall reap

People cant eat their cake and av it anymore..this is a new world order..dat man has no feelings for u,he only wants to be successful and u re his only option for that..

Typical Naija mans mindset. They behave anyhow and then cone back only after an Alfa or pastor tells them that they wont progress unless they come beg you. This is because our boys are not encouraged to be good dads and husbands.

Noloss:
To repay evil for evil is devilish
To repay good for good is human but
To repay good for evil is divine.
It is difficult though but if u don't forgive him ur progress may be hindered too. Let it go n learn some lessons from his mistake ur self.

what if he only wants me into his life because his pastor told him so. What's the assurance he won't leave later wen things start to work out for him

Pitch this story to Nollywood then you can both be successful.
Also inform us when the movie comes out.
Cheers.

Deejavuu:
Just find it in your heart to forgive him, holding a grudge against him wouldn't help you either..

But don't move in with him, he should be paying visits and you return it too. Probably spend weekends with him or holidays..

that's the problem, I gave him this option but he insisted that his pastor asked me to be his care

Shout awt to the young guys out there who

Refuses a condom during ........


Gets a girl pregnant....


Asks her to abort or.....


Denies/disappears....



Leaving the young lady to suffer alone.......



Then after some years, they



grow up




get married to another lady.....



Then they come to beg for forgiveness only if



they don't make babies or get richer or anything....



shout awt for una





una weldone brosssss......


How we go do na? He's your father, deal with it............

gabazin080:
what if he only wants me into his life because his pastor told him so. What's the assurance he won't leave later wen things start to work out for him

Am not suggesting moving in with him though. Just forgive him and have a positive disposition towards him. Ur step father shd be adored not respected for being there all these while and even sticking to u n mom without another kid. Kudos to him, he's a rare gem.

gabazin080:
This is my true life story. Am in my early 20's but met him for the first time this year.

Growing up my mom told me how my father left her to go on a business trip when she was pregnant but never returned. She told me they were engaged and did a traditional wedding and he promised they will get married legally as soon as he is back.
After he left, my mom and her family didn't hear from him for years. My mom moved on after waiting for 8 years but the marriage didn't produce another baby till now, though they are still married and every body believe am the man's first and only son. He took me as a son and I see him as a father until my mom told me he is not.

To cut the long story short, my father showed up in our house last month. My mom fainted after seeing him but she regained consciousness at the hospital and then she told me who the man was.
My father came back again after a week, me, my mom and my step father were watching movie in the sitting room when he entered. I was pissed at his sight and went inside but was eavesdropping what they were discussing. I peeped and saw my father rolling on the floor and asking for my mom's forgiveness that he was asked to come take me into his care before he can ever make it in life.
While inside, I wasn't even moved because I hated him so much. I faced him last week and told him he was never my father and I will never go with him. My father begged me to forgive him and spend some time with him since he is my biological father but I don't want to listen
My father has since be coming to our house every day to beg. The excuse he gave for his actions earlier was that he refused to return home because he didn't meet his target, he had hoped to be rich before coming home but was ashamed since things didn't work out for him on his trip.

Am confused as to what to do now. Help pls

Not possible

Forgive him but just take him as your step dad while your step dad MUST take his position as your biological dad.

Put yourself in his shoes and imagine your own son rejecting you as his real father because u made some wrong decisions in the past.. I am not justifying his actions but know that he is your father and nothing can change that fact. we all make mistakes try to forgive him cos if you don't from your heart you might be the one having problems when he is no more. Enjoy the little time you can with him and appreciate. things as they are,all the best.

Lol...make una dey lock door o, so that "he will not enter" ur house anyhow.



Back to the matter, pray to God to give u a forgiving heart.

This life! Well,forgive him sha

faith551:
the problem people have in life is that we rush into things we are not prepared for, and when we meet the required challenges, we run back with tails tucked in between our legs. It's a very difficult thing to forgive prodigal father, I can't even imaging what I'll fell like to be in your shoes, cause there is no justifiable excuse to warrant a man to forsake his family.
But the real truth is that forgiveness frees the mind, not forgiving him is a burden to him as much as it is to you, if you can find it in your heart to forgive him, do so, but never forget for even the Bible says what so ever a man soweth, that he shall reap

ikbnice:
Just forgive him...There is always a reason for everything. God is the architect of ones life.
No one else can be your dad.

faith551:
the problem people have in life is that we rush into things we are not prepared for, and when we meet the required challenges, we run back with tails tucked in between our legs. It's a very difficult thing to forgive prodigal father, I can't even imaging what I'll fell like to be in your shoes, cause there is no justifiable excuse to warrant a man to forsake his family.
But the real truth is that forgiveness frees the mind, not forgiving him is a burden to him as much as it is to you, if you can find it in your heart to forgive him, do so, but never forget for even the Bible says what so ever a man soweth, that he shall reap

to forgive is not the problem but he wants me under his roof

olajorn:
Not possible

bro believe me, it very very true and possible.

I stayed with my grandma wen I was young because things weren't too good for her then. She only comes to visit me then until he married my step father and I moved in with them.
What my grandma told me was that my mom and dad are travellers and my dad is in over sea but am too young to know it was a lie despite the poor life we living den

gabazin080:
bro believe me, it very very true and possible.

I stayed with my grandma wen I was young because things weren't too good for her then. She only comes to visit me then until he married my step father and I moved in with them.
What my grandma told me was that my mom and dad are travellers and my dad is in over sea but am too young to know it was a lie because of the life we living den

now I believe...Let me finish the story now

No follow am go any where o. Him babalawo don teLl am say na ur head go make the money he need. Forgiveness is the only thing you owe him, nothing more.

Cc: Seun lalasticlala ishilove farano rocktation. Pls and pls come do justice to this top by taking it to FP and hear what others think.
Do this one for me pls

confusion everywia....
how do I advise wen im confused masef.?

gabazin080:
to forgive is not the problem but he wants me under his roof

There was a time your mum and you longed to be under thesame roof with him, and he was no where to be found. It's that simple, you can't eat your cake and have it

talk2riel:
No follow am go any where o. Him babalawo don teLl am say na ur head go make the money he need. Forgiveness is the only thing you owe him, nothing more.

to forgive him is not a problem. But he wants me under his roof

gabazin080:
to forgive him is not a problem. But he wants me under his roof

Its not what he wants that matter, but what you want and desire

gabazin080:
to forgive him is not a problem. But he wants me under his roof

OP, what is your mum's take over staying under his roof ?
I would say you should tread with caution. Some people have been known to hurt their own offspring in the quest for "so called" success in life, be very very careful and prayerful.

Yes ofcourse, you have to forgive him but it's obvious he needs you now for selfish reasons since they don tell am say he no go succeed in life without you.

My advice is, you also have to be selfish when taking your decision. If you don't see much great future with your step dad, you can go to your father but if your step dad is your hero, Omo, forget that run away dad.

As an Igbo man, you don't have certain rights in your step dad's place shaa as per landed property dem