Having a child out of wedlock is not ideal in anyway and ladies should do their best to avoid this not by the sinful and barbaric act of abortion but by been careful to open up to a man who will love then enough not to abandon them and the child should pregnancy occurs.

Nevertheless,it is no longer a big deal that we have baby mamas who are never married and we have a growing number of this set of ladies due to many factors too numerous to elucidate upon.

The sad twist is that it is generally believed that such ladies usually find it difficultt to find a man that will eventually marry them due to the stigma of being a single mum out of wedlock.

In my opinion,being a single mother is no deterrent but most times,it is the approach of these ladies who find themselves in this situation that really makes it hard for them to get a man as fast as they would love to.

Here are very important list of advise that will be beneficial for you.

1.Be confident; Many men are very skeptical about fertility status of many ladies these days so as a single mum you should be proud of yourself that you are fertile and capable of procreating so carry yourself with dignity and be proud of yourself.

2.Look sexy: Get rid of that after child-birth pregnancy(protruding tummy) many Nigerian young mothers are known for. I CAN'T STRESS THIS ENOUGH.I guess this link will come in handy for you and other mothers because guys love flat tummies even after you have given birth toi children.http://www.findhomeremedy.com/12-wonderful-home-remedies-for-getting-flat-tummy-after-delivery/

3.Be selective: This might sound strange but if you have your way,look away from single never married guys. Yes this does not apply in all cases but i will be frank with you on this. You will be more appreciated by male divorcees,widower as well as the married men while single never married guys may just want to cool off with you. While you may ignore the married men,widowers,divorcees,or a never married single dad will make a better pair.

4.Don't discuss your child excessively: I have heard many single mothers say stuffs like..a man who will want me must want my child..

Well no man will ask you to forget your child but most guys are not interested in hearing you sing about the child,remember its not his child so in as much as a mother's love towards her child is strong,please try to avoid making it a subject matter even if the man also has his own children. Discussing your child excessively will take the shine off the affair.

5.Be in touch but don't take up the responsibility: This is one big mistake single mothers do. Except the man absconds or his family bluntly refuses to accept the child,DON'T EVER TAKE UP THE RESPONSIBILITY OF TAKING CARE OF THE CHILD.

In most cases,the baby daddy and his family are interested in the baby but not interested in the mother so many times these ladies usually hold on to the child because to them "if you don't want me,you can't have my child"

No matter the stress you go through in bringing the child up,you can never erase the paternity of the child and a day will likely come when the child will look for the dad or visavis and when the day comes,just one prostration and im sorry from the dad will melt the pains of neglect of many years so why insist on taking care of a child of a man who may come back to claim his biological child.

Please give the child to the father's family but be in touch,after-all nobody in this world can contest the maternity of the child.Abeg free yourself because its a turn off for guys when they want to woo a cutie and discover that the baby you are with is actually yours...its better to know latter.

Or better still give the child to a family member of yours and be free to rediscover yourself.

6. Be financially independent: Please understand that many men these days are struggling and it will be very unrealistic for you to expect another man to automatically take up another man's responsibility.

Yes some men will not mind to take care of you and your child or children but try to be financially independent in the little way you can so that while you expect some form of financial succor from any man that comes into your life,you will not stress him too much by wanting him to provide for a child who is not his.

7.Don't be a dumping ground: Many ladies have been enmeshed with self pity and condemnation that they just rush into any affair with guys who they will ordinarily never date all because they see themselves as after one as they call it.

There is a saying for single mothers in my dialect "omo bibi ki n se arun" meaning having a child out of wedlock is not a disease.

8. Be bold,and never allow any man love you out of pity or take advantage of you.

Hope this helps.

Opp all these one wey u write na thrash, my advice to dem is dat dey should get married. Lobatan

dix days matured men prefer single mothers to single lades.

Op you have started writing trash again. I only agree with your first and last point,others I say are trash. Leave the advise for the married and single parents to do!!
You told them not to take responsibility for their child? haba bros why? What if the guy who impregnated them isn't capable to cater for the child financially? What if she doesn't even know who impregnated her?
She shouldn't be selective? Are you daft? So because she has a child already she's not eligible to have the best of life? She should start looking for divorcees and married men to marry?
I fear for all this marriage matter counselors on Nl o

Princessderaa:
dix days matured men prefer single mothers to single lades.

I guess so. they are calmer and more family oriented which some may attribute to desperation but for whatever reason i believe they are good.

Princessderaa:
dix days matured men prefer single mothers to single lades.

lol to be honest dats so tru... I"m just here eyeing a single mother.. Tho we were classmates in high school... Until d demise of her husband...

I feel indifferent about the number 4 point. Why should a woman not take up responsibility of her own child on the grounds that the dad might come take him/her away from her someday? The chances of a child forgetting his mum who took care of him and see him through the rigour of life for a dad who abandoned him is very slim and unlikely. And even if that is to be an actuality it's not enough reason for a woman not to take up responsibility for her own child.

Also, I think people who think a man can just come back and apologise to a child he neglected and abandoned for years and the child accepts them back are living in the past. Most rejected children of nowadays don't ever want to hear about their biological dad and abhors the thought of letting them into their lives. They were just sperm donors, not their father. A father is one who loved, cherished and took up his parenting responsibility as one.

Let me state that except you are making a post to yourself alone,i will implore anyone tryng to make a point without using derogatory terms because i wont even read them let alone reply.

Thanks

ronald4lif:
I feel indifferent about the number 4 point. Why should a woman not take up responsibility of her own child on the grounds that the dad might come take him/her away from her someday? The chances of a child forgetting his mum who took care of him and see him through the rigour of life for a dad who abandoned him is very slim and unlikely. And even if that is to be an actuality it's not enough reason for a woman not to take up responsibility for her own child.

Also, I think people who think a man can just come back and apologise to a child he neglected and abandoned for years and the child accepts them back are living in the past. Most rejected children of nowadays don't ever want to hear about their biological dad and abhors the thought of letting them into their lives. They were just sperm donors, not their father. A father is one who loved, cherished and took up his parenting responsibility as one.

No you need to read again..

i wrote that except the family of the dad or the dad rejects the baby...

and im referring to out of wedlock child.

Toks2008:


No you need to read again..

i wrote that except the family of the dad or the dad rejects the baby...

and im referring to out of wedlock child.

How can a man not refuse a child but refuse taking up the child responsibility? If a man accept a child as his he should equally take up parenting responsibility. Any attempt to jettison and reject his responsibility could mean he's denying the child and wouldn't end by him just coming to say I'm sorry and the child embrace him back into his life. Those stuff isn't as effective like you put it.

So if a woman shouldn't care for her child and take care of them because the father refuses to share in the child welfare then what becomes the fate of such child? Should the woman also abandon him because the man might just come years after and apologise to him? Don't get the logic.

.

ronald4lif:


How can a man not refuse a child but refuse taking up the child responsibility? If a man accept a child as his he should equally take up parenting responsibility. Any attempt to jettison and reject his responsibility could mean he's denying the child and wouldn't end by him just coming to say I'm sorry and the child embrace him back into his life. Those stuff isn't as effective like you put it.

So if a woman shouldn't care for her child and take care of them because the father refuses to share in the child welfare then what becomes the fate of such child? Should the woman also abandon him because the man might just come years after and apologise to him? Don't get the logic.

ok i know what you are implying but the truth is that in many cases theguy wants the child but not the mum so wat usually happens is that the lady now keeps her child to herself because to her not wanting the child is tantamount to not wanting her which is what that advice was hinged on.

incase sha

tintingz:
incase sha

As in

Toks2008:

As in

incase e enter front page.

tintingz:
incase e enter front page.

lwkmdt..chai

Before God and man you will make a good comedian oh my..

So wat will happen if it does? i guess you will come back to write a real comment lol..cant stop laughing.

I have crazy passion for writing thought provoking articles and i care less if it gets to the front page or not. As long as i have viewers,im good. lol

Toks2008:


lwkmdt..chai

Before God and man you will make a good comedian oh my..

So wat will happen if it does? i guess you will come back to write a real comment lol..cant stop laughing.

I have crazy passion for writing taught provoking articles and i care less if it gets to the front page or not. As long as i have viewers,im good. lol

abeg no vex jare, that's how i book space on every thread that's interesting.

So it might enter front page.

tintingz:
abeg no vex jare, that's how i book space on every thread that's interesting.

So it might enter front page.

Ok then,but i really appreciate the fact the people have different ways of catching fun on nland.

Space booking is one thing that cracks me up.

remsonik:
Op you have started writing trash again. I only agree with your first and last point,others I say are trash. Leave the advise for the married and single parents to do!!
You told them not to take responsibility for their child? haba bros why? What if the guy who impregnated them isn't capable to cater for the child financially? What if she doesn't even know who impregnated her?
She shouldn't be selective? Are you daft? So because she has a child already she's not eligible to have the best of life? She should start looking for divorcees and married men to marry?
I fear for all this marriage matter counselors on Nl o

you were making sense till I reach that part where you wrote..."Wht if she doesn not know who who impregnated her?" ...that statement is crap please..ladies know who got dem pregnate even if they slept will the whole guys in dere street

babyfaceafrica:
you were making sense till I reach that part where you wrote..."Wht if she doesn not know who who impregnated her?" ...that statement is crap please..ladies know who got dem pregnate even if they slept will the whole guys in dere street

Tueh!! I have an aunt who doesn't know the father of her baby till date,the elder brother is the one who Funke knows as her father. My aunt slept with 3 guys within two days like 20+ years ago in Ibadan on a vacation to a very older family member. She was just 17 then. Up till date we no know funke's dad o.
Some ladies don't know why some knows and d guy refuses to take responsibility.

remsonik:

Tueh!! I have an aunt who doesn't know the father of her baby till date,the elder brother is the one who Funke knows as her father. My aunt slept with 3 guys within two days like 20+ years ago in Ibadan on a vacation to a very older family member. She was just 17 then. Up till date we no know funke's dad o.
Some ladies don't know why some knows and d guy refuses to take responsibility.

nairalanders wont kill me o...lol

3 guys in two days kai we guys are trying o chai GOD HELP US.

remsonik:
Op you have started writing trash again. I only agree with your first and last point,others I say are trash. Leave the advise for the married and single parents to do!!
You told them not to take responsibility for their child? haba bros why? What if the guy who impregnated them isn't capable to cater for the child financially? What if she doesn't even know who impregnated her?
She shouldn't be selective? Are you daft? So because she has a child already she's not eligible to have the best of life? She should start looking for divorcees and married men to marry?
I fear for all this marriage matter counselors on Nl o

do u have to display ur foolishness like wares all d time by being insultive.. I pity d man dt will fall in ur trap..

remsonik:

Tueh!! I have an aunt who doesn't know the father of her baby till date,the elder brother is the one who Funke knows as her father. My aunt slept with 3 guys within two days like 20+ years ago in Ibadan on a vacation to a very older family member. She was just 17 then. Up till date we no know funke's dad o.
Some ladies don't know why some knows and d guy refuses to take responsibility.

hmmmm....17 yrs...3 guys in 2 days....issorite

remsonik:

Tueh!! I have an aunt who doesn't know the father of her baby till date,the elder brother is the one who Funke knows as her father. My aunt slept with 3 guys within two days like 20+ years ago in Ibadan on a vacation to a very older family member. She was just 17 then. Up till date we no know funke's dad o.
Some ladies don't know why some knows and d guy refuses to take responsibility.

Ur aunt must be a smart and hardworking lady

remsonik:
Op you have started writing trash again. I only agree with your first and last point,others I say are trash. Leave the advise for the married and single parents to do!!
You told them not to take responsibility for their child? haba bros why? What if the guy who impregnated them isn't capable to cater for the child financially? What if she doesn't even know who impregnated her?
She shouldn't be selective? Are you daft? So because she has a child already she's not eligible to have the best of life? She should start looking for divorcees and married men to marry?
I fear for all this marriage matter counselors on Nl o

Please read your own post again.

First line says i have started writing trash again andthe second line says you agree with the first and last point of the trash.

I think there is something fundamentally wrong with the psyche of some people because simple logic will make you understand that not agreeing with even a point does not make it trashy but you have the right to your own opinion.

Ordinarily i dont respond to this type of posts but im doing this to correct you.please maintain proper decorun.

babyfaceafrica:
hmmmm....17 yrs...3 guys in 2 days....issorite

If 3 guys sleep with a lady in two days,how many guys will do same in 365days?

na joke o

Toks2008:


If 3 guys sleeps with a lady in two days,how many guys will do same in 365days?

na joke o

my guy I no understand o..I just dey look!!!

namedonfinish:

do u have to display ur foolishness like wares all d time by being insultive.. I pity d man dt will fall in ur trap..

Oh its you again! I understand your predicament,Pls go are rant at the person who impregnated you and made life miserable for you. Never come again into my mention to trash talk!!

Thank you OP,ope needs to see this,that girl don turn to neighbourhood hoe....

Toks2008:


Please read your own post again.

First line says i have started writing trash again andthe second line says you agree with the first and last point of the trash.

I think there is something fundamentally wrong with the psyche of some people because simple logic will make you understand that not agreeing with even a point does not make it trashy but you have the right to your own opinion.

Ordinarily i dont respond to this type of posts but im doing this to correct you.please maintain proper decorun.

So not agreeing with your makes me lack decorum or makes you think you can correct me. Correct me for what. I can see some hopeless single moms on this thread have resigned themselves to society stereotypes and agreed that they deserve less of the best which your post have just portrayed.
Your opinion is your opinion,mine is mine!!

remsonik:

Oh its you again! I understand your predicament,Pls go are rant at the person who impregnated you and made life miserable for you. Never come again into my mention to trash talk!!

well, my dear i knw where my daughter's father is, unlike ur anuty who slept with three men in two days and cant even say who her child's father is.. So i guess ur family is yet to get over the pathetic incident.. Take heart and my condolence to ur family biatch...

Princessderaa:
dix days matured men prefer single mothers to single lades.