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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? (55185 Views)
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Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by Nobody: 8:29am On Aug 21, 2015 |
after reading through all the comments here, I guess the OP must be more confused than before as to which direction to follow. my many yrs in NL I have noticed that whenever marital issues are being discussed here, if the wife is the victim majority here would be telling her to divorce him and look for better man, but if the husband is the victim, the same people would be proffering forgiveness advice. @OP - I feel your pain, but I will have to tell you this no matter how bitter is sounds. there are chances your wife has been faking all those good qualities you attributed to her, there are as well chances that AGE was/is not the only prevarication she is living with in your house. any woman who could lie her way to marriage can not possibly, naturally possess those good qualities of a wife material! she can only act/pretend/behave them to make sure she keeps her cards close to her chest. I don't blame you for having such a strong affection for your wife, most of us (men) are just but victims of love-game, the only game that women play champions. trust me, you are not on this lane alone, most of us are conned into marriage via fake pregnancy, fake virginity, fake character, fake beauty, fake family background, fake identity, fake pastor's prophesy, etc, etc. I, personally have respect/admiration for family values and I do not support divorce, but at this juncture you have to be strong and take a bold step. 4yrs is still early for you to do something to save the remaining yrs of your life. you made it clear that you dont want adoption, so the only alternative for you now is to have a child/children with another woman. its up to you how you do it, either with a concubine, second wife, side-chick, secret marriage, etc. or better still be strong and divorce the old liar and get yourself a decent lady, there are millions of them out there. 4yrs ago you made a terrible mistake that you are regretting now,,,,, you can never solve a problem with the same mentality that created it... stop waiting for a 47 yrs old liar to get pregnant miraculously ,,,, tell the pastor to mind his own marriage ! (most of them (pastors) cant even run their own marriage, some are divorcing to remarry at any slight provocation, some sleep with people's wives, so to hell with what pastor said) enough said!!! I believe you have a family (parents, siblings, etc) discuss this issue with them and follow whatever conclusive suggestion there be. finally, my 21-gun-salute for your wife, na real Maradona she be even Pius Ikedia never deduct 8yrs from his age in WAP TV's peoples court she could be sentenced to life imprisonment 5 Likes |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by teamquoterchuks: 8:37am On Aug 21, 2015 |
Does age really matter in a relationship..,Hell no, i got a date who is 7yrs older than me...we love each other, despite the age, m not even bothered bcuz i dnt blv in menopause, cuz my God is a miracle worker...Age is crap when love is true....so if you knw you luv her,forgive her,help her, everyone has told a lie,u ur self have also done worst things in secret to her ,if you really check ur self you will knw am saying the truth...so bro support her..do all you can to see if she can be reproductive...seek the lord always, remember that the family that prays together stays together...the lord is your strenght. Visit http://www.facebook.com/pages/TEAMQUOTERCHUKS/266375140213118 on facebook..to get more qoutes on life it self |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by Nobody: 8:42am On Aug 21, 2015 |
I feel your pain having considered that at 31 she was 38 when you both got married. Bro, never the less,give peace a chance. Find your passion again and make sweet love to her without thinking of reproduction because the anxiety will not yield good fruits. Start from the genuiness of your love and grow this once happy marriage again. Ultimately, please forgive and love her again .it could be painful but please... Give love a chance!!! |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by Eberex(m): 8:43am On Aug 21, 2015 |
Put yourselves in the woman's scenario. She is 43 years old, and still single. Most women would lie 100 times if they have to just to get married. Meanwhile, i was thinking facial look on a person can tell where their age falls in. Is it possible the OP didn't look closely enough or was it love is blind? Or maybe she has a baby or young face that doesn't really show her real age. As for advise, i don't have any. But i believe in love. If you love her, then you must also believe in miracle. wHY? because God is Love. Best of luck 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by chigoizie7(m): 8:43am On Aug 21, 2015 |
superfour: I am not doubting that God is alive. But, 1st of all, do your own part as human and den leave the rest to God. I know God is a miracle working God, but don't sit on a keg of gun powder and expect God to come and redeem u. Heaven helps those who helps themselves. I don't know why people religion has made so many of us lazy and stupid,u see what is not feasible physically and u re going to try it out. He should not consult a fertility specialist? Bros, u no be better person. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by chigoizie7(m): 8:48am On Aug 21, 2015 |
Eberex: You have spoken well my dear, About facial looks, there are some people that are like 10yrs younger than their age facially, some even 15yrs sef. + that lady, knew what she is in for, she will also do everything to enhance that look. We have all sorts of creams these days which has a later effect, I think the effects of those creams are taking it toll on her now, otherwise, we can't explain how she could just age rapidly in just 4yrs to the extent that the guy is seeing her as very old now. |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by Charly68: 8:49am On Aug 21, 2015 |
We too deceived God out of our foolishness yet he forgives & help us out of our problems,please remember that if indeed you truly forgive her,you wont bother about this issue again in your heart,painful but such is life,haven said that,I want you to know that her beauty is fading fast because of internal condemnation..but you must rise up as a man to encourage her..as long as you didn't discover her age from her beauty in the beginning even with your age difference,it means she is pretty indeed...let her read Romans 8:1 and regain her confidence back again,I tell you under three months you won't believe your eyes with her beauty again.. Remember that the issue of fruitfulness is God's prerogative according to psalm 127:1-3 ..Doctors are there to counsel but the power to bring forth belongs to God..even if you go and marry a young girl today,you never can guarantee what will happen...Stand firm as a man with her and I can assure you that under few months she will be pregnant again & bring forth to term by God's grace.. I must equally advise you to be prayerful because your mistake must have been spiritually orchestrated unknown to you..but in any case always remember that God can beat the devil at his game any day any time ..that is why he says in Romans 8:28 that all things shall work together for your good . Never give up but keep on believing God because the just must live by faith. |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by ugochukwu360(m): 8:49am On Aug 21, 2015 |
hmmmm my brother my own advice be say: whatever you want do doam fast she has less than è years to hit menopause. |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by cusehcuseh(m): 8:50am On Aug 21, 2015 |
Bro, before u think of divorcing her, ask yourself if there is nothing that u are hiding from her no matter how small? Prayers can bring kids not age. |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by Smooyis(m): 8:51am On Aug 21, 2015 |
Take your case to God for direction and necessary help. |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by Akinrogun(m): 8:53am On Aug 21, 2015 |
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Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by nonjebose(m): 8:54am On Aug 21, 2015 |
Gurgle:I have come across ladies who have spent their years grooving, and who insist that they want to get married to guys much younger than them. |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by Nobody: 8:58am On Aug 21, 2015 |
My dear kindly call it quit. A relationship(or marriage) built on deceit and lies will collapse no matter how hard you try to keep it. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by xcesswag(m): 9:03am On Aug 21, 2015 |
Cock and bull with bs |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by Creamish(f): 9:04am On Aug 21, 2015 |
U may decide to forgive (which is always the best option) but the question now is ..Do u want to continue with the marriage or are you done? U need to give an honest & long-term consideration to the following questions: 1. Do you love her unconditionally? 2. What if you don't have a child by her..would that create a crack in your marriage? U do know that cracks (if not taken care of) can destroy a marriage.. Are you ready to adopt? Is surrogacy an option? 3. As you know..a marriage not based on trust is doomed....can u still trust her? Are you ready to dump in the past her deception in order to have a smooth flow of trust in your future with her? 4. You know good, mature, homely women are not that easy to find....are you ready to start a new search? The decision ultimately rests with you. Do not for a second consider the feelings and reactions of others above yours. You wear the shoe and know where it hurts. Make a decision you will ultimately be grateful you made. Good luck! 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by Missmossy(f): 9:09am On Aug 21, 2015 |
What she did is really bad, but opting out of the marriage isn't a solution. Forgive her quickly so that you both can have a baby. Patience is key, God knows best moreover. |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by Nobody: 9:18am On Aug 21, 2015 |
castro316:I WONDER IF YOU ARE IN HIS SHOE, WILL YOU DID WHAT YOU JUST WRITE? IT IS VERY EASY TO TALK BUT HARD TO PRACTICE WHAT YOU TALK. IT IS VERY EASY TO GIVE ADVICE WHICH MAY SOUND SWEET AND INTERESTING TO HEAR BUT VERY STILL HARD TO DO. BE HONEST TO YOURSELF! WILL YOU STILL LIVE WITH THAT WOMAN IF YOU DISCOVER THIS BIG SECRET? 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by nonjebose(m): 9:19am On Aug 21, 2015 |
whao:Did you read where he said that the wife had one miscarriage and one stillbirth? He is not impotent! |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by Nobody: 9:25am On Aug 21, 2015 |
Osisie:I PRAY NOR OF THIS SUCH HAPPEN TO YOU. KEEP ON TALKING SWEET!! YOU THINK LIFE IS FULL OF FUN |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by Orkpekyandega(m): 9:28am On Aug 21, 2015 |
Gurgle:Lol. Not really, you know he is always aggressive on such issues. He doesn't hide his church mind on issues concerning the female gender. |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by peeparty(m): 9:29am On Aug 21, 2015 |
Suspect33: yes that is what faith 'IS' |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by ichielynda(m): 9:35am On Aug 21, 2015 |
OP, this is the best advice so far. please forgive her whole heartedly and see God do a miracle. she need to relax and not under pressure or fear. God will see you guyz through. All the best bro Abugab: 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by Nobody: 9:39am On Aug 21, 2015 |
WinsomeX:HIS PASTOR IS RIGHT BECAUSE HE IS NOT IN HIS SHOE BUT RATHER SITTING AND EATING OFFERING MONEY. THE TIME THAT PASTOR CHRIST DIVORCE HIS WIFE, NO BODY EVEN TALK ABOUT IT, NOT EVEN THE CHURCH BUT LET CLASSIFY IT AS FAMILY MISUNDERSTANDING. HYPOCRITES, HYPOCRITES, WAS HE NOT THE ONE WHO IS PREACHING NOT TO DIVORCE HYPOCRITES, HYPOCRITES!!! PASTOR THIS PASTOR THAT PASTOR SAID. HYPOCRITES, HYPOCRITES!! YOU PEOPLE MAY TALK BUT DON'T KNOW HOW IT FEELS LIKE TO BE DECEIVE BY LOVE. 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by Orkpekyandega(m): 9:47am On Aug 21, 2015 |
Excellent7: You were sincere in your analysis. Some of the people telling the op to forgive and forget are just being emotional and religeous. If you throw a search light into most of the relationships they have found themselves in. It might surprise you what made them leave such relationships; the reasons which might not be as serious as this one. They especially the ladies, are quick as usual to ask the op if 'he has not lied before?' 'He would have done worse if he was in shoes'. The question I want to ask such women here on NL is what if a man knows very well and has confirmed medically that he is importent but tricked you into marrying him, would you still remember the world forgiveness? Will you remember any thing about and mortgage your life time joy under the guise of miracles? I see grave and life threatening lies in the faces of most NLs who have typed their comments here. You can't be better than or different from what you support or justify. |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by Googleus(m): 9:50am On Aug 21, 2015 |
this is community issue
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Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by Xmen149(m): 10:07am On Aug 21, 2015 |
shadowgwalker:lol ,and that they sacrifice women around their 40s every year for sacrifice..last year was his turn and if it pass this year they will kill him instead...................u will see bolt is a learner |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by omoharry(f): 10:13am On Aug 21, 2015 |
Mcleo007:Hihi!! be like sey na America you dey type this your message from....sue ki ni! collect damage ke!! for Nigeria?...hmmm!!! 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by donshaddow(m): 10:13am On Aug 21, 2015 |
buygala: Anytime you make a comment on such sensitive issue, please always end it with 'my opinion though'. You really made interesting contributions about the pastor and all the rest, but there's something you missed here. Its called human heart! You can never predict or assume what a person will be from one act except many acts. And people do change of course. She has soiled that relationship, there might not be trust in it any more, but if I should give my opinion, I would say the OP should forgive and move on. He should let the positive side of the woman out-weigh the lie she just told. And mind you, if I were in her situation I would tell such lie to survive. This life is all about survival. Do what you have to do to have a reasonable time here on earth. Well, I would suggest the issue of baby mama since you don't want to adopt. She will be so happy to be the mother of that child. In that instance, the tension dies and they both win. Thanks 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by Rukkydelta(f): 10:14am On Aug 21, 2015 |
Seriously, you married a lady that is older than you with 8years and you didn't know I don't know what to say |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by fromnigeria(m): 10:16am On Aug 21, 2015 |
ladyF:How much are you paid for all these. Just wanna know. |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by Luckymay(f): 10:16am On Aug 21, 2015 |
jamex93:read the write up again. Am sure he (op) made mention of the woman's age which i think shud be more than 50 by now if my calculation is correct. Do u still expect miracle to happen wen menopause is already there? |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by Tankotanko: 10:17am On Aug 21, 2015 |
eph12: I wonder, if your assertions were correct, then she could have been only 42 years at time of marriage. Your semen/ sp&rm might not have been that strong, as this her age in the beginning poses less strain towards taking in. The challenges she encountered as mentioned in the write-up are good pointers of poor/weak sp&rm power. Do a nice consultation on your self to forestall further damages. |
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