Five Funny ways on how to get attended to fast/jump queue legally in a bank

In Nigeria today,most of the banks we have are very slow in their service,customers would have to wait on the queue for many minutes before they could be attended to.


Now I have devised five funny ways in which you can get answered to on time,believe me,noone would fight or argue with you when the bank cashiers are attending to you ,even if you are the last person on the queue..let's get to it already..

1.Get a Baby!!(lol,not for men though)yea,I am not telling you girls to go and get pregnant oo...just carry the baby of ur neighbour(tell d mother you are going to d bank !!don't let them lynch you ooo!!)when you get inside the bank,fill ur teller,go on the queue and pinch d good baby,when the cry of the baby rings the air..everybody on the teller would be pleading with the cashier to attend to you,(don't forget to buy biscuits for the cool baby oo)

2.Fall down and Faint!!(yes..men this is where you come in..its simple,stay on the queue and just fall down and close your eyes!!and make it some 2 minutes before you open your eyesviola!!you are a celebrity!!anytime you enter the bank,you will be answered to immediately (just pray your neighbour, abi your gf/bf no dey in the bank that day you fall oo)

3.ACT CRAZY LIKE TERRY G..if you don't know how to craze..abeg don't use weed oo..just take dry pepper with you and put it in ur bums..am telling you the craze that will be emanating from you will make headlines...(Lol)

4.Blow Grammars out of proportion: You don't need a dictionary, just go to Patrick Obahiagbon's social media handles,You will find your tools there..When you enter the bank, cooly fill your tellers, nope don't stay on the queue, just walk straight to the cashier....and BLOW YOUR GRAMMARS.


http://fresh-folks-ville..com/2015/08/five-funny-ways-on-how-to-get-attended.html?m=1

Fifth, become a billionaire, u don't need to go to the bank to encounter the stress of withdrawal, rather u would call the branch manager to bring the said amount to ur location.
6th, Make sure one of the tellers is your gurlfrnd, boyfriend or your very very good friend.

Try any of these when dem just newly pay osun state workers their 6 months salary and they are queuing †☺ collect it in the bank..

Then.. U go know say the amount of blood in the eyes is much more than the one been pumped by the heart...

This is nigeria..u can just settle the cashier without making noise..

I dedicate this FTC to benin girls.. Ya the best..
2 nights... 3 different "sleepover" chics banged..
I wanna stay here for the rest of M̶̲̥̅γ̲̣̣̥ life..


Ok.. I'd just come back for a vacation..

if u faint u will b rushed to d hospital if u are crazy u wil b moved out by d security and 4 d grammer u can even b slaped by a hausa man U NEEDED ATTENTION AND U HAVE IT SO POST REAL ONES

enua:
if u faint u will b rushed to d hospital if u are crazy u wil b moved out by d security and 4 d grammer u can even b slaped by a hausa man U NEEDED ATTENTION AND U HAVE IT SO POST REAL ONES

just for laughing sake bro

The surest way is to be personally known by the bank manager. For that your account balance must read like a gsm number

Guy, try any of these and more, you're not going to jump the queue I'm standing. I Follow be Nigerian too na..
I must be attended b4 u o if you like faint 10 times there

feighn stomach pain and squeeze your face


[size=16pt]sexyLADE[/size] says so





NIGERIA'S 1ST e-MAGAZINE? CHECK MY SIGNATURE

dnt try this in Zenith bank

Guy na wa for you ooo. Come try this one for Okokomaiko wey boys eyes dey red. As you faint, person go even enter the line wey you dey before, them go order security to put you for chair, blow you breeze and pour you water.

When you wake up, e go surprise you say you go still join the queue.

5. Pull Out 'Bajinatu'

s

Nigerian banks huh?
Rubbish!!!

dont try it in firstbank

Just walk-in to the bank stark "nak-ed" and watch the speed at which they'd attend to you.
You can thank me later.

Hiann, abeg, people should all learn to exercise patience and wait calmly for their turns. It hurts when someone tries to play smart especially in banks. Every ones got other things to do than wait at the que.

.

for me, first impression matters so it's important to dress real good and look sophisticated with a mind blowing perfume. works like magic on the female staff..



but above all, just make money and have lots of it in ur account...

trust me if u have cool millions in ur acc. na bank manager office u go dey make it transaction's.and besides ur acc officers will be at ur beck and call whenever u need them

lol




well it depends on



the character composition of the queue.


they only sure way is the baby factor,crying baby specifically.

Chai okay

lol

ROTFL. I subscribe to the fifth idea. Cool.

This is funny. carrying a baby or being pregnant will do the job better

Hmm

That moment you faint and everybody is scared to touch you because they think you have ebola.
*na u go wake urself*lol

1. Be a rich man with protocols!!!.