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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi (5581 Views)
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The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by eherbal(m): 12:29pm On Aug 23, 2015 |
This piece is not set out to condemn or criticise monogamy. Monogamy is perfect for those who believe in its concept and can genuinely keep to it. I too have been married to one lovely woman for almost 45 years and it has been like a marriage made in heaven. I happen also to be the promoter along with some friends the 35-year-old Family Club of Nigeria which is dedicated to the upliftment and celebration of marriage and family values. The article is designed to expose the hypocrisy and pain associated with embracing false notions which are really not observed by any culture in the world, and to advise those who erroneously sentence themselves to a life of sadness and emptiness because they were deceived to believe that there is some utopia somewhere called monogamy. I am very much aware that this article will generate a lot of controversy most especially from those who live holier-than-thou life and have continued to deceive the world that they are upholders of a doctrine that is not supported by true and enlightened interpretation of any religious doctrine. The white men, I am yet to see any human being whose skin colour is like that of chalk, came and told the unfortunate lands they invaded that the cherished cultures, traditions and religions of such lands were rubbish, and instead indoctrinated them with values which they themselves never believed in or truly practiced. We know of King Henry Vlll, and several major historical figures in ‘Christian’ Europe who had more than one wife in addition of a string of wives who their ‘laws’ forbade them to address as wives but who nonetheless perform all the functions of wife minus name. God bless President Mitterrand who openly confessed to having two women in his life, with the one in the other house with whom he fathered an 18-year-old daughter at the time he passed on. I have schooled, worked and lived virtually in all the continents of the world and I make bold to say with all emphasis at my disposal that no culture on planet earth truly practices monogamy. My Greek, Italian, Russian, British, American and other Caucasians routinely visit their other wives [called by other names] with whom they have children. But back in the homes shared with the one carrying the ring, they are monogamists! If God had wanted humanity to be monogamous, He or She would not have made the pigeon the only monogamous creature. The cultures that practice polygamy had always known that at any given time, the number of available marriageable women far out number available men plus the fact that an 80-year-old man, if he has money, is still very much in the market whereas a 60-year-old woman may not be that lucky. The biological limitation to a woman’s productive age is also a factor. Why should a woman therefore remain on the shelf till age 45 when she could jolly well get married as second or sixth wife to a man who can afford to share life’s responsibilities with her? Why should a woman leave a man with whom she is No 1, simply because took a second wife and end up being numberless in the hands of several men with whom she naturally shares bed just because of some doctrine she hardly understands? All the women who should go and marry but are saying they do not want to share their man with another woman in a polygamous setting, are sharing current boyfriends with several other women. Where is the logic? The argument that children in a polygamous house are always at each other’s throat does not hold water. Many siblings of monogamous families are known to have had worse and irresolvable, irreconcilable squabble, with dirty bitterness over inheritance than children from different mothers. The agony suffered by both men and women in the hand of unnatural laws and doctrines is too stifling for comfort. In 2002, 502 Reverend mothers were reported to have died while procuring abortion in Rome. Nigerian Tribune wrote an editorial on the unfortunate incident. And stories of Reverend fathers having children and sodomising young men in their care are legion! Why the hypocrisy? Why should the world continue to live the life of Ostrich? A well known Nigerian journalist hid his other wives from his wife because his religion would not permit of it and his wife, living in monogamy should not hear of it. At his funeral service, other wives surfaced and the woman parading the ring collapsed. It was the grace of God that prevented double interment that day! The Western world which had not learnt the art of living amicably with more than one partner under the same roof has indulged in multiple serial marriages, divorcing innocent wives under flimsy excuses so that another woman can move in should not be measure of standard for the world. Thank God Hillary Clinton in the US and Mrs Cook in England were very much wiser. They refused to allow some indiscretion on the part of their husbands to ruin their marriages. There was a well known American actor who passed on about a decade ago and all his 11 ex-wives with their numerous children attended his funeral. To ridicule the lie of their hypocritical existence, all the women were recognised and addressed as wives. As far as records show, the man had 11 wives! Society must rethink this issue of pretentious monogamy vis-à-vis polygamy so that in the not-too-distant future we do not end up with millions of unmarried women whose life style would be worse than prostitutes’ and millions of children whose fathers would be nowhere to be found. Source:http://folasophical.com/?p=1965 Though Controversial, Your Take Is Highly Revered. ![]() 5 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by HDee(m): 12:38pm On Aug 23, 2015 |
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Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by EfemenaXY: 12:50pm On Aug 23, 2015 |
To each their own. This article at best, can be described as a haphazard, directionless piece, ranting against everything and nothing in particular. The question, @OP, is - what are your views on this? 16 Likes |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by TheMadame(f): 1:03pm On Aug 23, 2015 |
I find this piece utterly confusing. The author has been married for 45 years to one woman and has just discovered it is not natural. He has just discovered polygamy is better than monogamy,so men and hopefully women too should/will be allowed to go into multiple relationships. Or does it apply to men alone? 14 Likes |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by adesbreath: 1:08pm On Aug 23, 2015 |
Hmm! I am coming.. 1 Like |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by EfemenaXY: 1:21pm On Aug 23, 2015 |
TheMadame: Precisely. |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by Nobody: 1:31pm On Aug 23, 2015 |
If you think monogamy is agony, i pray you to try a typical polygamous family. Nonsense 5 Likes |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by jmoore(m): 2:06pm On Aug 23, 2015 |
God created Eve for Adam. Why didn't he create another woman for Adam? If sweet tastes bitter to you, then your taste buds must be very bad. 3 Likes |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by Chidoks(f): 2:36pm On Aug 23, 2015 |
It's funny how one person is saying two different things at the same time.the writer has one wife yet he justifies and makes excuses as to why polygamy is more natural than monogamy.if polygamy is so fantastic, why hasn't he indulged? the fact that people do one bad thing repeatedly doesn't make it right. 2 Likes |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by cococandy(f): 3:05pm On Aug 23, 2015 |
Monogamy is unnatural. Polygamy is unnatural. Ask them if it's ok for the women to have multiple men, then polygamy suddenly becomes unnatural and dirty. 5 Likes |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by EfemenaXY: 3:10pm On Aug 23, 2015 |
cococandy: Lol! Who is "them", Coco? |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by kukuruku156(f): 3:32pm On Aug 23, 2015 |
EfemenaXY: My thoughts exactly Ma'am |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by JoyPaulLaw(m): 5:16pm On Aug 23, 2015 |
How I wish I know the address of this writer...... |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by DropShot: 5:24pm On Aug 23, 2015 |
This man makes a lot of sense. He has not condemned monogamy as some commenters have said. Rather, he has made case for polygamy. His point is very clear, which is that the society should not criminalize polygamy. It's the criminalization of polygamy that is responsible for many men having children by other women unknown to many until they have exited the world. You criminalize polygamy but you don't see much wrong in adultery and fornication. Many women will prefer their husband maintain side chicks outside to the man getting the same lady as second wife. This beats imagination really! 8 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by amtheone(m): 5:58pm On Aug 23, 2015 |
There is so much sense in the article. If the world was a better place, maybe a lot if things would have been done differently. We live in a world where one cannot be completely happy. I think the issue of one man to one woman was to help reduce conflict within the family, but many families are still struggling with so many internal issues even though it is a monogamous family. In conclusion, I would have suggested that one should go for what gives him/her happiness but that will be an act of selfishness because if what gives one happiness will cause the next person pains, then one has to forgo such happiness. But by this, we now force to go into hiding or pretence because of the fear of what our open conduct will cause our partners. In submission, one cannot have it all. We now have to take some and leave some, for the sake of those we chose to share our life with 3 Likes |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by cococandy(f): 6:47pm On Aug 23, 2015 |
EfemenaXY: I mean proponents of polygamy. 1 Like |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by jmoore(m): 8:16pm On Aug 23, 2015 |
DropShot:Why didn't he make a case for polyandry, huh? 10 Likes 1 Share |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by Chubhie: 9:17pm On Aug 23, 2015 |
I made a promise to live differently. Reading this piece, I think having minimum of three wives is part of living differently too. I'm old school and I uphold all the good old ways of our forefathers. 2 Likes |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by EfemenaXY: 9:49pm On Aug 23, 2015 |
amtheone: Really, what's the "sense" in an outrightly skewered sexist article as this? Do you not think it ought to work both ways for both sexes? Or are you proposing that the man should keep several partners while the woman sticks to her cheating partner? The cheek. 3 Likes |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by gidjah(m): 10:20pm On Aug 23, 2015 |
Imagine a man with d same P uuuu ssss yyyyy!!! For a life time ??oghsshhhh!!!, thats monotony of fun abegi!!eat eggs today, fish tomorow, chicken d day after tomorow, thats the way it goes.VARIETY IS D SPICE OF LIFE biko!! 1 Like |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by kandiikane(m): 10:43pm On Aug 23, 2015 |
What rubbish. At this day and age, women can freeze their eggs in their prime and either carry it or get a surrogate. Are you a learner? If you did not know, male fertility also declines with age. A 60 year old woman with money can still date a younger man. You be learner? I don't understand why men like to believe in falsehood. The same reason a young woman will be with an 80 year old man, is the same reason a young man will be with a 60 year old woman. I am up for who ever wants to be with more than one partner as long as women aren't judged for wanting the same too. It is not only men that do not enjoy monogamy. Just remember that whilst you are there enjoying yourself between the thighs of a young woman, your wife is on top of one virile young man like that(and as luck would have it, no babies to worry about). Is it not on this same forum recently that we saw pictures of two young men marrying women probably old enough to be their grandmother? The writer should just shut up and continuing fucking his mistresses. Your marriage has been like "heaven" for 45 years yet you are preaching about the hypocrisy of monogamous marriage. The only link with hypocrisy and pretentious with regards to this whole writeup is the the writer himself. Why not write about how you and your wife managed to make heaven out of your marriage for 45 years for others to emulate. For una mind now, na only woman fit manage one preek for life. Mtchew! 17 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by EfemenaXY: 12:49am On Aug 24, 2015 |
kandiikane: Brilliant stuff! + 1000 likes 2 Likes |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by SAMBARRY: 1:14am On Aug 24, 2015 |
Farts on thread and walks away majestically 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by Adaeze003(f): 11:54am On Aug 24, 2015 |
I just fail to understand why people who claim to be logical hardly think and when they do, they think about themselves alone. ![]() You can't possibly mate one woman for the rest of your life but you somehow expect that the woman will be happy with one peniss for the rest of hers? If variety is the spice of your life why do you imagine it's not the same for the next woman ![]() They even make excuses for women, how we are "wired" to be with one man. Have you ever been a woman before to know how we're "wired" or you wired us? Or how polygamy will help women in the long run, who asked for your help? We'll talk when you start backing up polyandry as well as polygamy or when the men justify a cheating woman as strongly as the do their kind. Until then, you're advised to stop making noise. I'm not against polygamy btw, if you're open about it from the onset and not lying and sneaking around like a lowlife. 11 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by amtheone(m): 2:09pm On Aug 24, 2015 |
EfemenaXY: I would have loved to expantiate on it more, but I can't afford such time right now. Thanks 1 Like |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by cococandy(f): 6:32pm On Aug 24, 2015 |
The only way to make anyone see how foolishl they sound is to turn their logic on them. No addition or subtraction. Just the way they put it. And suddenly you will be the one not making sense even though you're saying the exact same thing they are saying ![]() Works all the time. Adaeze003: 3 Likes |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by bukatyne(f): 7:25pm On Aug 24, 2015 |
Funny thread I would advice the OP's wife to be watchful Her husband might have just passed a coded message ![]() 1 Like |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by Rukkydelta(f): 8:11pm On Aug 24, 2015 |
Polyandry is more better if you agree with me give me some likes 5 Likes |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by eherbal(m): 12:22am On Aug 25, 2015 |
bukatyne:would you like to be wife no2? Never a dull mo with me. Ask wife no 1 ![]() |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by eherbal(m): 12:30am On Aug 25, 2015 |
EfemenaXY:the article is the Truth ![]() |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by eherbal(m): 12:36am On Aug 25, 2015 |
TheMadame:we're talking about polygamy in the marriage institution ,not prostitution ![]() |
Re: The Agony Of Monogamy- By Tola Adeniyi by eherbal(m): 12:40am On Aug 25, 2015 |
EfemenaXY: kukuruku156:Hope my views are convincing? Now be good ladies, tell me yours ![]() |
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