Please i'm calling on all the reasonable married men on nairaland to come to this thread to let the future husbands, barchelors and fellas know some unforseen mistakes that one can avoid in making the decisions of marrying a girl and share their experiences on things they wish they could change if they had the opportunity to go back in time. Another thing is what are they things you would like unmarried guys to know about marriage that u never knew about it till you found yourselves in it.
How do you manage to marry one lady and be with her so long without cheating on her? what are the things that helps you married men in abstaining or is being faithful over rated?

I will so follow this thread. Op, your head really dey house

Hmm! Interesting. I would love to read responses from Married men.

married man is here

how can I help u ?

you won marry?

But how many married men are actually in this section?
Try source them out from politics section. That's their base. .

Ok

Make I sit down Abeg

This is d place to be.

Iya Akeem bring 1 cup of jedi for me *Grabs Chair*



Bisimilayi

Joavid:
But how many married men are actually in this section?

Try source them out from politics section. That's their base. .

D only way is if d thread hits front page.

The following are the few tips that has kept me from straying or toeing that part of unfaithfulness:

1. I rush back home immediately after work. It helps me avoid unnecessary "waka"

2. I don't move with friends that I know cheat on their wives

3. I try as much as possible to avoid remote temptation from ladies. I don't allow them to come closer because it could be costly.

4.I buy things for my wife I see and like on other girls/ladies. It makes me concentrate on her more.

5. I make her watch her weight to keep her sexy

6. During sex we do it like boyfriend and girlfriend not like papa and mama. if you know what I mean

7. I pray to God also to help me not to cheat on her

8. beauty attracts me, so I made sure I married a beautiful woman so that I wont be eyeing other beautiful chics outside

9. My wife reads my SMS, chats and all. That way, it keeps me on my feet not be flirtatious.

10. Finally, Everything boils down to your personal commitment and resolve not to cheat because is not easy.


Temptation will surely come in one way or another, in one form or the other but how you deal with it matters!

Married people on Nairaland are known to "hype" their families online. Stop waiting, no reasonable married man, especially those with 'great online reputation' will wash her wife's dirty linen here.

Some go through hell at home, but come here to form super-husbands. Same with married women.

Just learn from real life experiences and be liberated.

Joavid:
But how many married men are actually in this section?

Try source them out from politics section. That's their base. .

Same thing I had in mind plus the married men who are don't say it.

am a married man, married for ten years now, am a good Christian, and my advice may not be the right one, choose a wife from one of your ex girl friends, or better date the new one for some time before marriage, and make sure you love the one you wants to marry

agarawu23:
married man is here

how can I help u ?

good that you're here, kindly read my first post bro. you can start with the things you would like to go back in time to change if you could as regards to marrying a girl and the thinggs in marriage.

2goodbobo:
The following are the few tips that has kept me from straying or toeing that part of unfaithfulness:

1. I rush back home immediately after work. It helps me avoid unnecessary "waka"

2. I don't move with friends that I know cheat on their wives

3. I try as much as possible to avoid remote temptation from ladies. I don't allow them to come closer because it could be costly.

4.I buy things for my wife I see and like on other girls/ladies. It makes me concentrate on her more.

5. I make her watch her weight to keep her sexy

6. During sex we do it like boyfriend and girlfriend not like papa and mama. if you know what I mean

7. I pray to God also to help me not to cheat on her

8. beauty attracts me, so I made sure I married a beautiful woman so that I wont be eyeing other beautiful chics outside

9. My wife reads my SMS, chats and all. That way, it keeps me on my feet not be flirtatious.

10. Finally, Everything boils down to your personal commitment and resolve not to cheat because is not easy.


Temptation will surely come in one way or another, in one form or the other but how you deal with it matters!

you are one smart guy bro, hahahaha #6 cracked me up. Thanks for the tips and may God keep blessing you and your wife but is there anything you wished you knew or did earlier before marriage that you realised after marriage?

Acidosis:
Married people on Nairaland are known to "hype" their families online. Stop waiting, no reasonable married man, especially those with 'great online reputation' will wash her wife's dirty linen here.

Some go through hell at home, but come here to form super-husbands. Same with married women.

Just learn from real life experiences and be liberated.

it crossed my mind too bro but i hope one will nip some negative things in the bud for us. It's going to take a man with a great self esteem to tell it like it is.

The only advice I have for you is not to marry,think of something else to do with your life instead of marriage,for starters google the word “MGTOW”

Believe me....

If your are planning on marrying simply because of offspring,stay calm,japanese are working on artificial womb,you will have enough

icedbeatz:
you are one smart guy bro, hahahaha #6 cracked me up. Thanks for the tips and may God keep blessing you and your wife but is there anything you wished you knew or did earlier before marriage that you realized after marriage?

You most welcome bro and AMEN to your prayers.

Now to your question about "Anything I wished I knew earlier before marriage that I realized after marriage"


Hmmmmm well everything is okay and I can't complain because I knew from the start that Marriage is not bed of roses

and I zeroed my mind that regardless of any situation, I will try and sort it out with Wifey no matter what. However, if I

must answer your question, then the only thing I would have corrected if given a second chance is the issue of finance. I will

make sure I am comfortable at least to a reasonable extent. Why I said so is because it was very tough for me after my wedding

because Money no too dey and it was not easy at the beginning but thank God things took a drastic direction after a year of my Marriage,

God blessed me with a Job and things improved. So make sure you have a steady source of income because is important. Aside that, I will

marry my wife again and again and again if given the opportunity. Not like she is perfect o but she is someone I can leave with and can

easily forgive when she offends me.


Finally, Just a little advice for you bro. Marriage is a sweet thing if you marry your wife. I mean a woman who can go through the storm with

you no matter how fierce it is. I am saying this because by the grace of God I can tell you that I'm married to such woman and it has and is still

helping my marriage till today. Warm regards!

Hmmm

yomi007k:

D only way is if d thread hits front page.

That's the worst place to wish this thread. You'd then have 14year old children commenting on an issue they know nothing about.

icedbeatz:
Please i'm calling on all the reasonable married men on nairaland to come to this thread to let the future husbands, barchelors and fellas know some unforseen mistakes that one can avoid in making the decisions of marrying a girl and share their experiences on things they wish they could change if they had the opportunity to go back in time.

Never walked by sight!!!!. it is not only deluding but will fade away so soon. You will always see better packages that seemingly looks better everyday. Avoid marrying to please society or friends or family or to get unnecessary accolades or recommendation from friends even when you know you are marrying a masquerade but for the purpose of presentability or economic profitability or delay; you shut your eyes against all warning signals and inherent misbehavior that does not befit a wife or an husband. Never forget that as you lay your bed so you sleep on it

[i]Another thing is what are they things you would like unmarried guys to know about marriage that u never knew about it till you found yourselves in it.[/i]

You cannot know everything about marriage before you go into it. Marriage itself is a journey. It is like a dark market. Your knowledge and understanding however broad they are will not suffice. Philosopher, Scientist, so called Pastors, psychologist, presidents..to mention but a few have all have failed marriages and have even cheated.... what then is the way out? People have always asked me; why is my marriages so blessed and harmonious; I always tell them; carry the searchlights of God when looking for a marital partner; Not just your sense, or your tribe or your educational accreditation; if you marry your wife or your husbands through divine leading; believe me; you will face little or no hassle in your marriage and you wont even worry if women or men are enticing your husband or wife because you know they can never swim in another person habitat

How do you manage to marry one lady and be with her so long without cheating on her? what are the things that helps you married men in abstaining or is being faithful over rated?

Fishes don't struggle to swim. Birds don't struggle to fly. It is there natural habitat. Other women whether they are naked , scantly dressed or completely covered; enticing, appealing or disgusting ; white; yellow or black; greatly endowed or scantly endowed do not appeal to me except my wife. People who cheat or commit adultery are fools and have no sense. They lack wisdom to know that there is nothing in there than what there wife possess" They have lust in their hearts. But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he [that] doeth it destroyeth his own soul. A wound and dishonour shall he get; and his reproach shall not be wiped away - Proverb 6: 32 - 33' .

For you to be like me; and ladies if you desire a man like me- the man must have a new nature. The lust in the hearts of that man must have been dealt with, circumcised thoroughly and it is then the man will be able to know that there is nothing special in promiscuous, shameful and immoral women of these days. It is not what a man can do by being discipline; it is a new nature that comes when one thouroughly gives his heart for circumcision made by faith in Christ Jesus. I don't mean by going to Church. Even when I was not married, I never have time for all these dirty things. Whether my wife satisfy me or not, it is this new nature that made other women unappealing to me. I can only drink water from my own Cistern. Other cistern irritates me.

I challenged all men to be like me.

Please i'm calling on all the reasonable married men on nairaland to come to this thread to let the future husbands, bachelors and fellas know some unforseen mistakes that one can avoid in making the decisions of marrying a girl and share their experiences on things they wish they could change if they had the opportunity to go back in time

Never walked by sight!!!!. it is not only deluding but will fade away so soon. You will always see better packages that seemingly looks better everyday. Avoid marrying to please society or friends or family or to get unnecessary accolades or recommendation from friends even when you know you are marrying a masquerade but for the purpose of presentability or economic profitability or delay; you shut your eyes against all warning signals and inherent misbehavior that does not befit a wife or an husband. Never forget that as you lay your bed so you sleep on it


[i]Another thing is what are they things you would like unmarried guys to know about marriage that u never knew about it till you found yourselves in it.[/i]

You cannot know everything about marriage before you go into it. Marriage itself is a journey. It is like a dark market. Your knowledge and understanding however broad they are will not suffice. Philosopher, Scientist, so called Pastors, psychologist, presidents… to mention but a few have all have failed marriages and have even cheated.... what then is the way out? People have always asked me; why is my marriages so blessed and harmonious; I always tell them; carry the searchlights of God when looking for a marital partner; Not just your sense, or your tribe or your educational accreditation; if you marry your wife or your husbands through divine leading; believe me; you will face little or no hassle in your marriage and you won’t even worry if women or men are enticing your husband or wife because you know they can never swim in another person habitat

How do you manage to marry one lady and be with her so long without cheating on her? what are the things that helps you married men in abstaining or is being faithful over rated?

Fishes don't struggle to swim. Birds don't struggle to fly. It is there natural habitat. Other women whether they are Unclad , scantly dressed or completely covered; enticing, appealing or disgusting ; white; yellow or black; greatly endowed or scantly endowed do not appeal to me except my wife. People who cheat or commit adultery are fools and have no sense. They lack wisdom to know that there is nothing in there than what there wife possess" They have lust in their hearts. But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he [that] doeth it destroyeth his own soul. A wound and dishonour shall he get; and his reproach shall not be wiped away - Proverb 6: 32 - 33' .

For you to be like me; and ladies if you desire a man like me- the man must have a new nature. The lust in the hearts of that man must have been dealt with, circumcised thoroughly and it is then the man will be able to know that there is nothing special in promiscuous, shameful and immoral women of these days. It is not what a man can do by being discipline; it is a new nature that comes when one thouroughly gives his heart for circumcision made by faith in Christ Jesus. I don't mean by going to Church. Even when I was not married, I never have time for all these dirty things. Whether my wife satisfy me or not, it is this new nature that made other women unappealing to me. I can only drink water from my own Cistern. Other cistern irritates me.

I challenged all men to be like me.

- get married is easy, staying happily married is DAMN HARD! so many people think that because you've gone on a few good dates and like one another, you will be a great married couple... WRONG! before marriage, talk about EVERYTHING extensively and in details... put everything OPENLY on the table: goals, desires, life plans, children plans, work plans, religious plans, financial plans, family plans, sexual plans etc
thinking that you guys should talk about these issues AFTER marriage is completely wrong.

- your worries are her worries, your pain is her pain, your stress is her stress so SHARE SHARE SHARE everything, not just the joy and happiness. she is here to alleviate/take some of it all so that you have two minds to deal with any issues.

- women are predisposed to NAG (and some argue while making no damn sense to us men), its a natural thing to them and sometimes you are better off just by saying the magic words:"ok dear" or "whatever you want babe". these magic words solve the union from pointless arguments and headaches because no matter how we men want to make some sense, sometimes women dont and thats ok.

- MONEY MONEY MONEY!!!! if you are not willing to be fully honest with your financial situation then i suggest you dont get married. you should trust your partner 110% and work/plan for the future of the family together. she is/will be the mother of your future children and if you cant trust her fully then there is no reason to want to start a family with her (unless you are with her for the wrong reasons) trust her with EVERYTHING, meaning financial aspects of the family but also your fears/worries etc so that the union will be stronger. i know a lot of guys are like "HELL NO" but your family will always be lacking/handicapped if your main associate dont fully know you. yes they can use that against you in the future but that is part of family life! pretense will get you nowhere.

- before marriage, many believe that they dont have to change and will find the perfect person that will fit perfectly into their way of life etc, WRONG!!! you have to adapt, reevaluate the way you view/do/deal with some issues. as a single person you could (foolishly) possibly knock out a drunk guy who disrespected your gal, as a family man (father) you certainly cant!

- you have to let her be in charge of something "worthy" in the union (no, cleaning and cooking aint one of them)... let her role at home be just as important as yours. why should you get all the burdens?! dont get it twisted, cleaning and cooking is easy!

- no matter how tiring it may be, spend time with your kids and dont let no one raise them for you. spending time with them only in the weekends is not enough!

- have fun with wifey, everyday! laugh, joke, play, go out, keep wooing/surprising one another... do all the things you did before marriage AND SOME MORE. make a list of +50 different things (some sillier than others) that you guys can do during the month/year, put them in a box, shake the box and pick one at least 2 evenings a week.

- however you may want to avoid them, you cant have a great family without adding your extended family in the mix. if they are your friends, you are on a winner, if they aint then you will have difficult/painful/odd family reunions... and when kids are added to this mix, you will see much more of them (btw your/her best friend are part of that extended family).

- no matter what happens between the two of you, never go to bed angry with one another. by the time you get to that bedroom, you should leave the argument at the door (have a magic word to remind you of that). the bedroom should be a white flag zone, and if you normally sleep spooning while facing east then thats exactly how you should go to bed after that argument. saying you are sorry is good and certainly not a sign of weakness, so long as you understand the meaning.

- you cannot teach a person not to cheat, it is a conscious decision that each and every one of us must make at a particular time in our lives. some may be saying NO today but due to unforeseen issues, they may fall tomorrow. the important point is that ONLY that individual is responsible for such action.

What do you mean by being faithful overrated?

Acidosis:
Married people on Nairaland are known to "hype" their families online. Stop waiting, no reasonable married man, especially those with 'great online reputation' will wash her wife's dirty linen here.
Some go through hell at home, but come here to form super-husbands. Same with married women.
Just learn from real life experiences and be liberated.

How do you know this sir? Do you live with all married nairalanders to know this? .. Those real life people ain't nairalanders?

Nice thread btw...

MarvellousGod:
What do you mean by being faithful overrated?


How do you know this sir? Do you live with all married nairalanders to know this? .. Those real life people ain't nairalanders?

Nice thread btw...

I just know

MrBrown, very valid points you've got!

Acidosis:


I just know

ok o.. you be ghost ni?
How you take dey penetrate everyone's house to know what's going on?

MarvellousGod:
ok o.. you be ghost ni? How you take dey penetrate everyone's house to know what's going on?

yes na, I'm the ghost you saw in your dream last night

Virtue11:
[i][/i]

Fishes don't struggle to swim. Birds don't struggle to fly. It is there natural habitat. Other women whether they are naked , scantly dressed or completely covered; enticing, appealing or disgusting ; white; yellow or black; greatly endowed or scantly endowed do not appeal to me except my wife. People who cheat or commit adultery are fools and have no sense. They lack wisdom to know that there is nothing in there than what there wife possess" They have lust in their hearts. But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he [that] doeth it destroyeth his own soul. A wound and dishonour shall he get; and his reproach shall not be wiped away - Proverb 6: 32 - 33' .

For you to be like me; and ladies if you desire a man like me- the man must have a new nature. The lust in the hearts of that man must have been dealt with, circumcised thoroughly and it is then the man will be able to know that there is nothing special in promiscuous, shameful and immoral women of these days. It is not what a man can do by being discipline; it is a new nature that comes when one thouroughly gives his heart for circumcision made by faith in Christ Jesus. I don't mean by going to Church. Even when I was not married, I never have time for all these dirty things. Whether my wife satisfy me or not, it is this new nature that made other women unappealing to me. I can only drink water from my own Cistern. Other cistern irritates me.

I challenged all men to be like me.

hahahah pls bro get off your high horse and try not to involve religion in everything (i'm done with religion too but not a fanatic) btw ALL MEN WILL NEVER EVER BE LIKE YOU, you must think you're better than a lot of people don't you? take it easy ok, seems like you just repented recently. Relax life is about variety.