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Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks - Romance (4) - Nairaland

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Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by Nobody: 10:42am On Aug 31, 2015
vani86:


Sweetheart thats ass is what we are talking about .

Damn thats more like it

Lol. Personally, I find it too big. I'm not a fan. But I guess my opinion doesn't matter hey, since I don't see what the big deal with big butts is.
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by vani86: 10:57am On Aug 31, 2015
PunkyVeer:


Lol. Personally, I find it too big. I'm not a fan. But I guess my opinion doesn't matter hey, since I don't see what the big deal with big butts is.

well different strokes for different folks, dont want to sound too sexual but hitting a big ass from the back, damn MA grin that is a sight to behold, 1 of the wonders of the world

3 Likes

Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by Elegantdiva: 11:09am On Aug 31, 2015
very funny Vani. .if u ar a Nig, then u must b from the west
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by Nobody: 11:09am On Aug 31, 2015
vani86:


well different strokes for different folks, dont want to sound too sexual but hitting a big ass from the back, damn MA grin that is a sight to behold, 1 of the wonders of the world

Hehehe. Ok.
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by BuddhaPalm(m): 11:14am On Aug 31, 2015
Sure.

You can totally eat your cake and have it.
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by vani86: 11:30am On Aug 31, 2015
Elegantdiva:
very funny Vani. .if u ar a Nig, then u must b from the west

on the contrary i aint from the west, proudly from the east.

why do you think western dudes are very promiscuous?
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by Elegantdiva: 12:12pm On Aug 31, 2015
I am from the east but its d westerns dat are so obsess abt big stuff
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by mrkay101(m): 12:26pm On Aug 31, 2015
IMO I don't think SA girls are really as pretty as our Nigerian girls. I've not been to SA yet but I've seen pics and I can say our girls are beta In beauty. The only thing is they are heavily endowed!!!

But is it really all about having a big ass? Personally I prefer a pretty face to being endowed.

To the topic.. Op I jst think ur being too paranoid. Take a chill pill

And remember whatever happens in SA stays in SA wink wink
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by Sunshine2016(f): 12:39pm On Aug 31, 2015
vague:
Auntie Sunshine2016 it is when a lady thinks that her appearance alone will keep a man loyal to her that always lands her in messy relationships grin even Halle Berry herself was cheated on, what will make your appearance an exception? There is always a more attractive woman out there.

Your focus should be on whether you boyfriend is committed enough to keep it in his pants or not. Stop giving yourself a nose bleed over other girls, there do not know you and neither are they the ones in the relationship with you.

The day your self-worth stops being measured by how good looking you may think you are physically, is the day you will stop being insecure and over analysing everything.

Let me give you a sneak peek of what he may be dealing with to all these clubs he is going to....

I actually agree with everything you've said. It's a very superficial world and emphasis is placed on beauty, physical attributes and appearances, hence why it's easy to get sucked into that regressive line of thinking. If you recall, in my initial post, I explained that my insecurities or concerns were fuelled by the comments made by men on this website about SA women. Everything that was written by these men was centred on the proportions and sizes of body parts. They went as far as body shaming and mocking slimmer women. I was horrified and I guess their comments started to infiltrate and influence my thoughts in a negative way. It appeared as though, women were being defined strictly by their physical attributes and essentially being objectified. Is a man's self worth judged by the size of his penis? Never. Would you ever find a group of men debating incessantly about the size of their organs on forums, as an indicator of their value? I doubt it. and As you've noted, there will always be a better looking man or woman. Some men prefer thick/fuller women, whilst some prefer slim women. There is really no ''superior'' figure provided you're healthy and fit.

P.s- My BF actually prefers slim women, he appreciates curves but prefers petite, smaller-framed women. His most recent ex GF for example is similar to me in size and statue except that she's dark-skinned while I'm a bit light-skinned. Not like it matters anyway, preferences are fluid at the end of the day so no point in dwelling on physical attributes.
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by Sunshine2016(f): 12:49pm On Aug 31, 2015
mablie:
Don't believe her post completely.In Nigeria the most sexed and promiscuous men are the most financially buoyant ones.That's men in their 40s,50s,60s and sometimes even 70s and 80s.The economy is terrible.Many unemployed poor young people.Sex has become a commodity for sale especially amongst the ladies.Many of the guys on Nland are in their late teens and 20s still struggling financially.In other words;hustling virgin nice guys.If you don't have money as a young able bodied man in nigeria,your left hand will become your gf and wife.Sex_ual frustration among the young male population is very common.No romance without finance in this jungle

I agree with you to the extent that the financially buoyant men are extremely promiscuous simply because they can afford to fund the lifestyle that often accompanies promiscuity e.g. pursuing multiple women on a frequent basis, winning and dinning them etc, money is power. However based on observations and experiences, I disagree with the view that struggling or young Nigerians guys are not promiscuous. Not true.

1 Like

Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by missmary(f): 12:58pm On Aug 31, 2015
PunkyVeer:
Most of this is rubbish. Toast men? Like, are you being for real? I'm a South African lady & I have never approached a guy for a relationship, my entire life. However, I can admit to being flirtatious etc because I'm not about to blush & giggle like an idiot when a man is talking to me. I give him what he gives me. That's maybe the difference between Nigerian women & South African ladies. We are not shy around men. We're easy going, chatty & men like that. Whether your man gets snatched or not depends on him & his loyalty to you. No South African lady is going to jump on his dyck unless he allows it or initiates it. The question shouldn't be about the women, but your men. Finish & klaar.

Southy chics roll call: Oohlalah, Soilsista, Southyqueen, ShortBass
shocked
PunkyVeer:
Most of this is rubbish. Toast men? Like, are you being for real? I'm a South African lady & I have never approached a guy for a relationship, my entire life. However, I can admit to being flirtatious etc because I'm not about to blush & giggle like an idiot when a man is talking to me. I give him what he gives me. That's maybe the difference between Nigerian women & South African ladies. We are not shy around men. We're easy going, chatty & men like that. Whether your man gets snatched or not depends on him & his loyalty to you. No South African lady is going to jump on his dyck unless he allows it or initiates it. The question shouldn't be about the women, but your men. Finish & klaar.

Southy chics roll call: Oohlalah, Soilsista, Southyqueen, ShortBass
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by Sunshine2016(f): 1:04pm On Aug 31, 2015
Elegantdiva:
very funny Vani. .if u ar a Nig, then u must b from the west

I feel like I have to correct the misimpression that ALL Nigerian men like thick women, it's simply not true. Stop pitting women against each other. I have many male friends (Nigerians even Yorubas) who prefer petite women with sizable and pert rather than large breasts and butts. Not every Nigerian man likes ''load''. Also some may enjoy it only for sexual adventures/ experimentation but not on a permanent basis (i.e. marry slim women). Some of these men have thick wives at home yet pursue tiny young girls. The reverse is also true, there are many Nigerian men who prefer thick women and who don't find slim women very attractive. No woman can be attractive to every single man.
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by Roseey0(f): 1:15pm On Aug 31, 2015
He is just a boyf not your husb. Husbands cheat talk more of boyfi

Get ur mind off it gal. Que Sera sera
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by Elegantdiva: 1:22pm On Aug 31, 2015
@ Sunshine....funny enuf i spent my one yr in d west nd my judgment is basically from what i saw. A slim lady in d west is been seen as hungry low life girl.. ..My boyfrnd so much like slim elegant ladyz.. he so much love them slim nd beautifull. Well they all know wat they want




Talking abt SA girls. Yes they av both up and down big ... which has always bin my fear
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by Nobody: 2:06pm On Aug 31, 2015
missmary:

shocked

What?
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by kennycanny: 3:53pm On Aug 31, 2015
Elegantdiva:
@ Sunshine....funny enuf i spent my one yr in d west nd my judgment is basically from what i saw. A slim lady in d west is been seen as hungry low life girl.. ..My boyfrnd so much like slim elegant ladyz.. he so much love them slim nd beautifull. Well they all know wat they want




Talking abt SA girls. Yes they av both up and down big ... which has always bin my fear


Its not about being tick or fat. Its about the ass to shoot out and curvy like the pics earlier posted here.
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by soilsista(f): 4:51pm On Aug 31, 2015
Lol PunkyVeer I'm shocked yazi! Speechless nje. What kind of nyolz is this mara? OP has every reason to be afraid. Akere we're man eaters? We eat them all grin She'll be very lucky if her boyfriend doesn't go back with his skhuftin undecided

Nonsense post nje

1 Like

Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by Nobody: 5:23pm On Aug 31, 2015
soilsista:
Lol PunkyVeer I'm shocked yazi! Speechless nje. What kind of nyolz is this mara? OP has every reason to be afraid. Akere we're man eaters? We eat them all grin She'll be very lucky if her boyfriend doesn't go back with his skhuftin undecided

Nonsense post nje


Lolest. Hope ugrand, mntwana smiley
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by RudzSA(m): 5:30am On Sep 01, 2015
U give your boyfriend too much credit ...
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by Nobody: 5:37am On Sep 01, 2015
RudzSA:
U give your boyfriend too much credit ...

Lol. In reality, SA chics are not the only threat. It's the Zimbabwean girls too. I've seen that match up countless times here. They seem to just click.
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by samtol4(m): 5:50am On Sep 01, 2015
vani86:


True true. But when you want to date, go for a working class girl, i am done with students and jobless girls from now on. My ex was a student in uniport, the one before her was working, very comfortable by her own right. Back to d student, one day i sat down and calculated how much i spend on her each month then calculated for the 4 months we have been together shocked shocked. My eyes opened quickly. I have not yet bought a 2nd AC for my flat or a 2nd home theater or water dispencer. Plus her student thinking was getting on my nerves, can you imagine someone using a galaxy S5 just cuz her friend got an iphone 6 she was pestering me to sow a seed of 40k in her life to get an iphone shocked. Me a working dude, saving up to settle down, using an S5 never even think of spending 150k on an iPhone. FOR WHAT.

Nna men, i broke up and went back to my working class matured gf. Who actually tells me off when i spend stupidly
hahahahahahahahahahah "sow a seed"got me cracking my ribs
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by samtol4(m): 6:03am On Sep 01, 2015
@op ....Be praying for your man to overcome .Having sex with a man doesn't guarantee he will marry you .For now develop yourself and prepare for the future At 28 a lady is ripe for marriage and one of the key factors that will help you in choosing a good partner is CLOSING YOUR LEGS.The number of irresponsible men in this generation is alarming you open your legs for every tom and harry then YOU LOOSE!.Most men now want sex like food once they enter relationship is over YOU LOOSE
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by NotGej: 6:09am On Sep 01, 2015
vani86:


I agree with some of what you said but keeping quiet when your man is after every skirt will merely make things worse. I actually like it when my gf calls me to order when i misbehave, cuz if she dont, i will turn her into a rag and will take her for granted.

Yes we hate unnecessary nagging but if the nagging has a point we actually listen and if we love d girl we do change.

Are u back with another moniker?

Ifeanyi!?
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by mercy1998(f): 7:55am On Sep 01, 2015
PunkyVeer:
Most of this is rubbish. Toast men? Like, are you being for real? I'm a South African lady & I have never approached a guy for a relationship, my entire life. However, I can admit to being flirtatious etc because I'm not about to blush & giggle like an idiot when a man is talking to me. I give him what he gives me. That's maybe the difference between Nigerian women & South African ladies. We are not shy around men. We're easy going, chatty & men like that. Whether your man gets snatched or not depends on him & his loyalty to you. No South African lady is going to jump on his dyck unless he allows it or initiates it. The question shouldn't be about the women, but your men. Finish & klaar.

Southy chics roll call: Oohlalah, Soilsista, Southyqueen, ShortBass
she said no offence I hope you are not offended. I know some nigerian guys do fall for us sometimes but also the girls are to blame because mostly they want money and everything.
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by mercy1998(f): 8:00am On Sep 01, 2015
As a South African girl not from Johannesburg either I can openly some woman in this country do approach guys especially in clubs. There are desperate people and there is a rumour doing rounds here about nigerian being gifted with their sexual organ and women want to experience it for themselves but if your man is loyal trust me you will be alright.
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by RudzSA(m): 8:11am On Sep 01, 2015
PunkyVeer:


Lol. In reality, SA chics are not the only threat. It's the Zimbabwean girls too. I've seen that match up countless times here. They seem to just click.
Hey Punky..its been a while wink.well Zimbabwean girls tend to be a lot more desperate than our locals...maybe he can get those. But our ladies ?hes not going to find it that easy.. after all we not a brothel ...he can't jus pick like his at pick nd pay .
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by Youngpo413: 11:01am On Sep 01, 2015
PunkyVeer:
Most of this is rubbish. Toast men? Like, are you being for real? I'm a South African lady & I have never approached a guy for a relationship, my entire life. However, I can admit to being flirtatious etc because I'm not about to blush & giggle like an idiot when a man is talking to me. I give him what he gives me. That's maybe the difference between Nigerian women & South African ladies. We are not shy around men. We're easy going, chatty & men like that. Whether your man gets snatched or not depends on him & his loyalty to you. No South African lady is going to jump on his dyck unless he allows it or initiates it. The question shouldn't be about the women, but your men. Finish & klaar.

Southy chics roll call: Oohlalah, Soilsista, Southyqueen, ShortBass
you all are endowed ass_wise,what is the reason behind those fat asses?
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by Youngpo413: 11:08am On Sep 01, 2015
Sunshine2016:
@ Vani and Cassidy, contrary to your insinuations, I'm actually not using sex as a manipulative tool. I have sexual urges myself you know? I'm simply taking my time. I'm not a self righteous, sanctimonious person, I'm simply trying to avoid mistakes of the past and I want to be certain he's the right person for me before taking the next step. Admittedly, the last time we saw which was the day he travelled, he physically tried to have sex but I refused and he asked me why I was withholding sex from him- I explained that I wanted to take things slow. He wasn't angry and has still remained caring but he complained that I gave him " Blueballs" and that he was in pain. For the record, I'm not even sure I believe Blueballs exists. We engage in heavy petting but no intercourse yet so it's not like I'm leaving him hung out and dry.

In any case, having sex with a guy is no guarantee that he will not mess around. I'm sure I'd still have posted this thread even if we had had sex. After all I don't know all the acrobatics in bed and I don't even know how to perform good oral s*x.
and you are not a virgin right,you can still give him sex like you've been giving to other,why is his case a big deal?somehow I feel like you advertising yourself too much,no offense...quote me and ill be waiting for you.
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by Youngpo413: 11:11am On Sep 01, 2015
QueenEdna:
Getting worried wunt stop him frm STRAYING dear, a Man who wants to cheat wud cheat regardless of how good U̶̲̥̅̊ are in bed, smart or even pretty . Ur concern should be that he returns home in one piece(disease free)

Pull your self together okay n focus on other outlets, be happy aΩ̴̩̩̩̥d̶̲̥̅̊ love your man as long as he loves aΩ̴̩̩̩̥d̶̲̥̅̊ respects you.


I have come to realise that CHEATING is synonymous to being a Man, sometimes they just wanna be 'adventourous' or its just so complicated U̶̲̥̅̊ gotta keep a level head if U̶̲̥̅̊ wanna mk any progress in d relationship. it doesnt mean they stop loving you but your nagging aΩ̴̩̩̩̥d̶̲̥̅ excessive complaints could extinguish the Love. Just avoid gettn confrontational with a man over his philandering ways, rather PRAY about it, im sure twill work. *cheers*
ladies are very cheap nowadays everywhere you go,so pls don't blame the guys,rather lay the blames on the hoes.
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by Youngpo413: 11:25am On Sep 01, 2015
passionate88:
Have you been to Nigeria? Have you seen the way Nigerian girls treat boys?, the fronting, the greediness, the lies, etc?. 98.5% are just money conscious, very broke ass lazy bitches that can't work without opening their legs.
lol...those hoes will surely come and attack you.
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by Sunshine2016(f): 11:28am On Sep 01, 2015
Youngpo413:
and you are not a virgin right,you can still give him sex like you've been giving to other,why is his case a big deal?somehow I feel like you advertising yourself too much,no offense...quote me and ill be waiting for you.

Well because you learn from past experiences. I really don't think sex is a requirement for a good relationship. Is it common in relationships? Yes. It is an absolute necessity? No. Honestly, I don't see the big deal in taking my time and developing the relationship FIRST before going down that route. Physical intimacy can be explored through other avenues for example handling, kissing and making out.

Care to explain what you mean by "'I feel like you are advertising yourself too much''. No offence taken by the way.
Re: Do I Have A Reason To Be Concerned/ Paranoid? Boyfriend In S. Africa For 2 Weeks by Sunshine2016(f): 11:40am On Sep 01, 2015
soilsista:
Lol PunkyVeer I'm shocked yazi! Speechless nje. What kind of nyolz is this mara? OP has every reason to be afraid. Akere we're man eaters? We eat them all grin She'll be very lucky if her boyfriend doesn't go back with his skhuftin undecided

Nonsense post nje


If you don't have anything meaningful to contribute, you don't have to say anything at all. I don't really understand most of what you've typed though, speak English.

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