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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Eight (8) Silly Things Men Do During $.ex That Leads To Pregnancy (2815 Views)
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Eight (8) Silly Things Men Do During $.ex That Leads To Pregnancy by adeyemi97(m): 12:15pm On Sep 08, 2015 |
Eight ( ![]() Not every pregnancy is planned. In fact, I’m inclined to believe that so many of us came about by accidental discharge, following the way we behave these days.Even amongst married folks who are licensed to have S ex, we hear horror stories of unplanned pregnancies. No wonder abortion clinics are popping out just about everywhere. People seem not to care about safe Se x or understand the simple meaning of contraception. Well, I’m not here to educate you on that. You can check your local community health care center for proper information. My job here is to let you in on what happens when someone comes and tells you that they got accidentally pregnant. I will not blame the female folk today until next time. Guys are going to get the heat for this one. Here are 8 times men get stupid during S ex and produce an offspring. 1. “I Pull Out Before I Shoot Out’ Didn’t they tell you that your pre-cum has enough sperm from your last self-service session to father a child? Oh okay, you pee in-between sessions. Nice move. But you can’t honestly tell me that there weren’t a few slip-ups in all your pull out encounters. You and I know that the sweetest part is when you offload all your goods in the right warehouse. So stop applauding yourself for staining the sheets. And just a little reminder, someone in the bible days died because of this type of thing.
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Re: Eight (8) Silly Things Men Do During $.ex That Leads To Pregnancy by adeyemi97(m): 12:15pm On Sep 08, 2015 |
2. ‘It’s The Woman’s Responsibility To Handle Contraception’ This is how so many clueless men have been lied to. She tells you she’s on the pill or that she’ll pop some after and you believe and go in without protection. This same babe will come back a month later and tell you the pill(s) didn’t work. Dude, never believe any of that nonsense a woman says before Se x. Always have yourself locked and loaded. 3. ‘I Tear Open The Condom Package With My Teeth’ It’s good to get the mouth, and sometimes even the teeth involved during Se x but please, use your fingers to tear open the condom package. Why? To avoid poking a hole into the condom, stupid. The only hole you should be poking should be… never mind. The wise ones understand what I’m talking about. 4. Putting On Or Taking Off The Condom During Se x Okay, seriously I don’t get this part. You start having Se x then halfway, for whatever reason, you say ‘oops! sorry, I forgot to use a condom’ and then you put one on. Have you heard of pre-cum? Obviously not. Google it. Then for those of you who decide ‘this condom thing is killing my vibe’ and decide to remove it halfway, please go for quality stuff next time or learn how to wear on a condom correctly or just get married and stay faithful mbok. 5. ‘We Had S^ x During Her Period’ First of all…eww! Second, don’t deceive yourself. Women have and can get pregnant during their periods. Some medical practitioners will not agree to this but others will. It has been found that some women ovulate when they are menstruating, so next time while dipping into the Red Sea, be sure to use a life jacket. If you go releasing your little swimmers with no protection, one of them is bound to swim upstream and catch something you’re not prepared for 6. I’ve Had The Condom For Three Years My dear brother, I know it’s a quality brand product and probably cost you a few hundred naira and you’re saving it for prime V, or just maybe you haven’t been laid in a long time; but it’s no reason for you to leave it in your wallet until it either expires or becomes useless. Use it when it’s still good or throw it away. 7. ‘I Like My Condom Tight’ And so you push your pen is all in to fill the condom tip. Bros, unless your pen is is shaped exactly like a condom, please desist from tightening things in there. You have to leave that space for the spill. If you don’t, the condom will break. I’m tempted to say it’s not ‘rocket’ science but erm… 8. ‘We Had S ex While Standing’ First of all, buhahahahaha! For real? So, let me understand the logic. You did it while standing and all of the semen spilled to the floor and none was left in her. Hmmm… In physics, following the law of gravity, it makes sense. But not in biology, which may have a law somewhere that states ‘what goes in, stays in’. You should know that the virginal is one place that may not have a door but has a way of keeping things in. Be Warned! Basically, just don’t be stupid during S ex. Protect yourself and your woman. Use a condom. |
Re: Eight (8) Silly Things Men Do During $.ex That Leads To Pregnancy by Nobody: 12:19pm On Sep 08, 2015 |
And so? |
Re: Eight (8) Silly Things Men Do During $.ex That Leads To Pregnancy by lordtosan(m): 12:25pm On Sep 08, 2015 |
Jollyjoy:olodo! Wait make he post finish before you run your finger. He said 8 things and has only posted one. |
Re: Eight (8) Silly Things Men Do During $.ex That Leads To Pregnancy by Nobody: 12:26pm On Sep 08, 2015 |
lordtosan:is that enough to hawl insult at me? Btw check the headline,he said eight things...who is the dullard here? |
Re: Eight (8) Silly Things Men Do During $.ex That Leads To Pregnancy by misspicy(f): 12:29pm On Sep 08, 2015 |
True |
Re: Eight (8) Silly Things Men Do During $.ex That Leads To Pregnancy by lordtosan(m): 12:30pm On Sep 08, 2015 |
Jollyjoy:you! You don't have to modify my post to cover for your s.tupidity. |
Re: Eight (8) Silly Things Men Do During $.ex That Leads To Pregnancy by Nobody: 12:34pm On Sep 08, 2015 |
lordtosan:i dnt modify your post mr,you initially posted that before you later modify it.... It enough pls. |
Re: Eight (8) Silly Things Men Do During $.ex That Leads To Pregnancy by Nobody: 12:35pm On Sep 08, 2015 |
misspicy:hi misspicy. |
Re: Eight (8) Silly Things Men Do During $.ex That Leads To Pregnancy by adeyemi97(m): 12:35pm On Sep 08, 2015 |
Lalasticlala |
Re: Eight (8) Silly Things Men Do During $.ex That Leads To Pregnancy by lordtosan(m): 12:50pm On Sep 08, 2015 |
Jollyjoy:lol, really? You must be really dull in real life. You didn't have to prove anything. I am the one alledging. so, the onus of proof lies on me to evidence that my post was modify. Now, can you prove i modify my post apart from just claiming? You see how much of an 'olodo' you are now? |
Re: Eight (8) Silly Things Men Do During $.ex That Leads To Pregnancy by Nobody: 12:51pm On Sep 08, 2015 |
lordtosan:ok 1 Like |
Re: Eight (8) Silly Things Men Do During $.ex That Leads To Pregnancy by misspicy(f): 1:16pm On Sep 08, 2015 |
Jollyjoy:Hello jollyjoy |
Re: Eight (8) Silly Things Men Do During $.ex That Leads To Pregnancy by Kingsley1000(m): 1:16pm On Sep 08, 2015 |
what if the condom tear accidentally during the act? |
Re: Eight (8) Silly Things Men Do During $.ex That Leads To Pregnancy by rawpadgin(m): 1:19pm On Sep 08, 2015 |
ok ama virgin dont understand anything here |
Re: Eight (8) Silly Things Men Do During $.ex That Leads To Pregnancy by vizkiz: 1:21pm On Sep 08, 2015 |
Jollyjoy: baby, you don't have the beauty, but at least let your attitude cover up for that. Most of your posts displays too much arrogance for a lady... No offence though |
Re: Eight (8) Silly Things Men Do During $.ex That Leads To Pregnancy by Nobody: 1:26pm On Sep 08, 2015 |
duely noted ![]() |
Re: Eight (8) Silly Things Men Do During $.ex That Leads To Pregnancy by adeyemi97(m): 2:25pm On Sep 08, 2015 |
Kingsley1000:buy original condom. Don't buy 4 golden circle for #20 naira, buy one Rough rider for 200naira ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Thank me later MAKAVELI OFFSPRING IN THIS MOTHAF*CKER |
Re: Eight (8) Silly Things Men Do During $.ex That Leads To Pregnancy by BlackrulesDworld(m): 2:31pm On Sep 08, 2015 |
Jollyjoy:Do you wanna give birth to a fatherless baby? |
Re: Eight (8) Silly Things Men Do During $.ex That Leads To Pregnancy by Mcbussy(m): 2:32pm On Sep 08, 2015 |
Re: Eight (8) Silly Things Men Do During $.ex That Leads To Pregnancy by Nobody: 2:34pm On Sep 08, 2015 |
Mcbussy:it nt like you dnt prefer it. |
Re: Eight (8) Silly Things Men Do During $.ex That Leads To Pregnancy by bjprodint(f): 2:35pm On Sep 08, 2015 |
My man na correct,we have agreed to space our children.we av a daughter and he's against family planing(drugs and injections)he doesn't touch without condom.am proud of him 1 Like |
Re: Eight (8) Silly Things Men Do During $.ex That Leads To Pregnancy by Mcbussy(m): 2:40pm On Sep 08, 2015 |
Re: Eight (8) Silly Things Men Do During $.ex That Leads To Pregnancy by IVORY2009(m): 3:22pm On Sep 08, 2015 |
If you nor fit hold body, abeg u condom, dis message is frm Family and child support group. |
Re: Eight (8) Silly Things Men Do During $.ex That Leads To Pregnancy by djcliff(m): 3:33pm On Sep 08, 2015 |
pls go to the world and multiply. born every year. if they many ur brothers, sisters. etc go help u train them. better still no b every body wey get papa and mama dey be beta pikin. lol |
Re: Eight (8) Silly Things Men Do During $.ex That Leads To Pregnancy by Abayor7: 4:14pm On Sep 08, 2015 |
adeyemi97:the poo poster dey even call lala, plagiariser ode. |
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