I have been thinking of this topic for some time now, why is it that every single lady you meet and talk to about relationship with, will always asked if you are going to marry her. And among all the single ladies I have met, their thought is how there wiil be hook to some body that will married to them.

So every hope and prayer of lady is getting a man before it is too late for her. why is it so?

Why not? Why should ladies be wasting time with you if you're not interested in marriage? Afterall, once they get older you will abandon them and go for the next young thing in skirts.

seun:

Why not?  Why should ladies be wasting time with you if you're not interested in marriage?  Afterall, once they get older you will abandon them and go for the next young thing in skirts.

Very well put

Jogego,

For a lady to actually get to the point of asking whether or not u want to marry her, then you must have been going round and round in circles without letting her know what u want in the relationship. It is not the responsibility of the woman to propose - absolutely not.

Guys! Don't waste our time, let us know what u want from a relationship, marriage or just casual friendship. We want to remain virgins till that night and d earlier you let us know, the better it is for us OK?

Now to answer Ur question, i refer to Seun's response.

Ciao

Ooops! The previous reply should have been addressed to Solo2 and not jogego. Many apologies.

Erm....... Solo2, ever heard of the biological clock? Just checking.......

Ra:

Erm....... Solo2, ever heard of the biological clock? Just checking.......

Surely in this day and age of female empowerment, you don't need to get married to satisfy the biological urge to have a child?

Or maybe I blinked and the rules changed all over again.

seun:

Why not? Why should ladies be wasting time with you if you're not interested in marriage? Afterall, once they get older you will abandon them and go for the next young thing in skirts.

One thing that really amazes me about a lot of us, is we really do find it hard to be a little bit honest about what is around us, why people do what they do or even to the extent of really admitting your real true feelings about something. We only bombard with responses based on what people might think is right, or what might be acceptable in the debating world, not what really is what you feel about the issue at stake.

You see honestly, I would say most guys date women, not because of the marriage from day one, especially if the guy is around his late teens and early adulthood. When a guy is really ready for marriage, and the propose of dating the lady is for marriage, the relationship doesn't really go that far.........at most a year, just to get to know her well, except on instances which leads to procrastinations brought about by events.

When I look back at the topic "Ladies and the thought of marriage", I wouldn't say that I personally would date a lady from day one because of marriage. Honestly. But then there are other reasons why we as guys date ladies other than what everybody claims that is sex. I would date a lady for just company for example. I would date a lady to relieve the tension around me, as in the case of stress. Ladies are really good in helping out especially when it comes to relieving stress, with the use comforting words and their caressing.

Besides that there are also numerous reasons, such as attraction by beauty of the lady which fades away after a while. And therefore the relationship might be off after that beauty fades so to speak. Others might be charisma etc..... But what I found that was nobody actually mentioned all this. I am sure a lot of guys on this forum have ladies they are dating, and their propose is not marriage.

If a lady mention marriage to me now, I would run away. Honestly. Because I do have plans for my life, and this is not the time to be even taking a sneak preview of marriage at all. What I make sure I do at the beginning of all my relationship is to tell you what I am after, why I am dating you and nothing more. If I said I love a lady. that does not necessarily mean I want to marry her.

From what I can read from the dictionaryLove is a deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.

So a relationship is just a higher degree of friendship, nothing more. Marriage is something else. Honestly. Its entirely a new beginning to an everlasting relationship between the parties involved.
But mere dating someone is not everlasting............. Please we should know that honesty in our response is what makes us who we are. Not saying something and doing something else in reality.

Ladies are really good in helping out especially when it comes to relieving stress, ...

Why do you have to promise a lady 'everlasting love' and pressure her for sex, when all you need from her is what you can get from 2 tablets of Panadol or half a tablet of Valium?

seun:
Why do you have to promise a lady 'everlasting love' and pressure her for sex,[/b]?

Han? Seun you are living in your own reality. In the real world people are not that obsessed, and going into relationship because of sex. Goodness what is it with this three letter word, that you guys treat with such a big deal!

And by the way stress is not pain or headache !! what are you talking about?

Ka:

Ra link=topic=390.msg3798#msg3798 date=1118000606:

Erm....... Solo2, ever heard of the biological clock? Just checking.......

Surely in this day and age of female empowerment, you don't need to get married to satisfy the biological urge to have a child?

Or maybe I blinked and the rules changed all over again.

Let's just say the large majority of African women still prefer to do things the conventional way when it comes to having kids.

Be that as it may, biological clock is not just about having kids. If a woman spends far too much time trying to work out what her guy's intentions are, by the time she eventually finds out he's not exactly window shopping for diamond rings, she might be too advanced in age to attract the kind of attention she desires and from the appropriate quarters.

Once they get older you will abandon them and go for the next young thing in skirks. Seun and dablessed should come to the reality of kazey"s world, I know that a lot ladies in this forum will disagree with me that this not a enough reason why ladies should ask about marriage when even the relationship has taking up to a month.

Declare your intentions from day one. Why pursue a 'relationship' when all you really need is a friend?

solo2:

. Seun and dablessed should come to the reality of kazey"s world, I know that a lot ladies in this forum will disagree with me that this not a enough reason why ladies should ask about marriage when even the relationship has taking up to a month.

kazey's world? Oops!

Ka:

Ra link=topic=390.msg3798#msg3798 date=1118000606:

Erm....... Solo2, ever heard of the biological clock? Just checking.......

Surely in this day and age of female empowerment, you don't need to get married to satisfy the biological urge to have a child?

Or maybe I blinked and the rules changed all over again.

and I thot I was d only person who thot this way

hotpikin:

Ka:
Surely in this day and age of female empowerment, you don't need to get married to satisfy the biological urge to have a child?
Or maybe I blinked and the rules changed all over again.

and I thot I was d only person thot this way

The opinion expressed above isn't personally mine o! I'm actually more like Ra in believing that it's better for a woman to have a child with a husband (or partner, at least).

However, leaving aside my personal opinion, there is still the option of a woman having a child without a partner/husband sticking around these days - that's the point I was trying to make.

solo2:

I have been thinking of this topic for some time now, why is it that every single lady you meet and talk to about relationship with, will always asked if you are going to marry her. And among all the single ladies I have met, their thought is how there wiil be hook to some body that will married to them.
So every hope and prayer of lady is getting a man before it is too late for her. why is it so?

I'm writing based on what Solo2 wrote which I underlined.."every single lady". I think you have every right to your opinion but not every single lady o. It's only a desperate lady that will ask you if you will marry her and before she can do that that means you have made her belive that you wil marry her maybe with your actions or what you said.

It's not every relationship that leads to marriage but a lady who is 28 years will not expect you to be playing around with her by taking her for a fling, which means you are only wasting her time.

Please men in the house if you want to have any relationship and you know its just a fling please kindly tell the lady in question. You can't start going out with a lady who is 24 or 25 and maybe you go out for at least two years (making 27) and you tell her is a fling. Please!

And ladies, please don't let us be too anxious to get married because marriage is a life time contract!

Solo2,

That is so wrong, and you were merely generalising. Not all women are like that. Personally, I am not even thinking of marriage or hunting for a guy to hook up with and get married to. And I know a lot of women like that too.

But I am not saying that all women are not desparately looking for a guy to marry them. Some of them are on a hunt for the perfect guy to marry but I guess that is where the factor of age comes in. The older they get the more likely that they are looking for the perfect guy but still not all are.

Well my point is it would be better if you not generalise.

Oh I feel very sad when i see a lady of 35 years not yet married. sade,you got it alright, that is how ladies feels. or ladies is that not correct.

It's not as if we are so desperate to settle down, but then the earlier the better.

It's a woman's nature to want and need a certain level of security in her life that can only come from the male naturally. At a certain point in her life that urge becomes stronger if the need is un met. Now their are many factors that can contribute to a woman asking a man to marry her so soon. My first thought is security. Their's a certain type of security that only men can give by the grace of G-D.

Second: Desperation ___ because 1 month is not enough time for me to determine if a man is the stable individual that i need, want or even if I'm a good fit for him.

AND ANOTHER POINT IS, SHE MAY BE JUST TRYING TO GET RID OF YOU. Hey it works for not so serious men

But over all I would say that it's not completely a bad thing if a woman wants to marry soon. Hey guy's want sex soon so why can't we have our security and benefit's soon? why wait until we're used up to his satisfaction and then he moves on to the next hot thing. The womb is one of the most sacred aspect's of a woman and we must guard that with our lives.

I value myself and any man that I deal with will value me as well and he will have to respect my postion as I respect his.

Kenya:


AND ANOTHER POINT IS, SHE MAY BE JUST TRYING TO GET RID OF YOU. Hey it works for not so serious men

precisely...I know I've done it a few times maself...

Kazey very well said. You hit the nail on the head, The truth is bitter, and to add a liittle light on what you said that i guess you wittingly avoided. Sex is part of companionship.Its a stress relief and it is part of bonding. So coz am dating u don'y necessarily mean I am looking at the big picture. If i don't tell u I can marry u..No I haven't thought of it. If u think I am wasting ur time..Move on.

That's the altimate. They need it.

At my age, I don't think I should be thinking about marriage yet. But I can really understand the anxiety for ladies because personally, I wouldn't want to be older than 25 and still single. I'll be so so worried!

I think this thought of marriage is not for only ladies, men are also included, the issue why it looks as the it the women that needed it most are follows;

1. Age is not on there side
2.to aviod some insult in the family, and as well to be a helping hand in the home as well.
3. when a girl has finished her university I think she has played enough aramanko during that time, then by now she should be thinking on how to settle down.
co's that's the next step, and the parents will be looking up to her for another step which is marriage for them to carry there grand children.

Ladiesv are we communicating.

"But over all I would say that it's not completely a bad thing if a woman wants to marry soon. Hey guy's want sex soon so why can't we have our security and benefit's soon?"

kenya u crack me up.

Hey I'm just stating that facts here

Solo2 I like to know something here, do U have a "Sister" ? If you do, tell me hw will you feel if she "has been Used and drop" by men? ee, staying in same house with you (20-46 years) now and nt married, & no one is coming 4 her.

very well said @Seun, actually, mine is da oppoiste of that. Nigerian men approach me not 2 talk about relayionship but marriage straight up or their mothers will come on their behave and i keep asking dem" what happened 2 da gurlz I have been seeing u'all with? ain't they da marriage type? most gurlz now r wiser

I think that your statement is a bit to general. I am 22 but I'm not thinking of marriage yet. I need to get a career and enjoy my early twenties to the fullest . I enjoy my single life but if I get into a relationship with a godly guy , I would still have to make decisions, based on his character, as to whether I can settle down with him or not. when a guy just asks me out and all that stuff I don't think of marriage . I think of him getting to know me /me getting to know him better and even if we don't marry , he can show me by his behavior what a godly man looks like, and I on my part can be an example and show him what a godly woman looks like ( by God's grace).I have never asked a guy "if he is going to marry me". I am secure and believe that , I am going to get married someday. I focus more on my career/character/ motherhood skills. I hope that helps

Funny but i been asking this girl for marriage and she stalling. i thot that wuz the guy's job? She wans to "hang on" for a while, or maybe its because i dont have "EVERYTHING" yet. Beats me. Cant wait much longah.