I used to think that what transpired between me and my dad before his death will forever be my heaviest burden and regret But I was wrong.

Few days before my father's death precisely 20 jun 1997 out of anger I murmured in response to the quarries I was receiving from my father. Old man just die and let us be ( though I am not certain if he heard my murmuring or not) but few days later 27 jun 1997 my father died.( I was 14 years old.)

From then till now I have not forgiving myself because I believe those words actually killed him ( even though he was seriously ill then)
Silently I carried that burden as a form of punishment and as a form of remainder to be careful of the things a say or do.

I used to think that will be my greatest regret in life. But something happened to months ago that till I die I may not be able to forgive myself.

On the 23rd of may this year my younger sister called me three times by 3:15pm,, 3:30pm and by 5:09pm but because I was to busy I ignored her calls. I planned to call her back that night but for reasons best known to God by two phones ( blackberry z10 and galaxy s3) started misbehaving out of anger I switched them off.
By 2:am that night something woke me up but I don't know what. I was so restless throughout that. When I switched my phones on 6am that morning, the first call I received was from my elder brother informing me that my beloved sister who have been trying to reach me the previous day and all through the night is dead.

Ebere my sister died by 2:15am on 24th of may 2015.

Her last words to my mother was that she was tired and needed to hear from me for strength and encouragement..

When my mum told me those words I cried my heart out and for the first time in my life I lost faith in the supernatural. My heart bleeds and will continue bleeding till my dyeing days. I will never stop wondering what would have happened If I had taken a few minutes off and answered her calls or even called her back that very night.

That same month. Still in mourning, Few days later one of my best female friends
sent me a condolences text and even asked me call her when am less busy.. I didn't call her till the next day. Only for her mum to answer the call and informed me that Onyinye my freind is dead. ( slept and never woke up) another loved one gone just like

By Not answering my sister calls and by not calling her back as I was supposed to, same with that of my friend will forever be a burden unto my overburdened soul.



PLEASE NO MATTER HOW BUSY YOU ARE NEVER IGNORE THE CALLS OF YOUR LOVE ONES, IT MAY BE THE LAST CALL YOU GET OR RECEIVED FROM THEM. As for me I have promised myself I will never ignore any call I receive again even if it's MTN caller tones or customer care.

Rest in peace Eberechukwu

Rest in peace Onyinye clara.

And may the souls of the faithful departed through the mercy of God Rest in Peace..

Amen.

So sad indeed

Hmmmmmm
So immune to the terrorist called death.
I celebrate only then life in EVERY DEATH, never to mourn or SHED A TEAR.
I only laff back in DEATH'S face saying:

Now that you have done your worst yet AGAIN. . . . .matter how powerful you are, YOU CAN NEVER KILL THE WORLD!!!!

Forgive yourself buddy, the workings of life and death have never been in our hands...

Also, start practising what you preach by attending to your calls in real time if only to ease your burden of quilt. The Almighty God will strengthen you.

Okay! I saw a thread you contributed on, was impressed with you honesty and maturity. Went to your thread topics and Vola! I saw this.

As for me: NO MATTER HOW ANNOYING OR DEPENDENT SOMEONE MIGHT BE, I TRY TO ALWAYS RETURN CALLS AND TEXT MESSAGES. FOR NO REASON IN PARTICULAR, I NEVER GO TO BED WITHOUT RETURNING MISSED CALLS AND UNRRPLIED MESSAGES.


So sorry for the death of your sister and friend I can only imagine how you will forever live with that guilt. As for your dad, trust me you shouldn't feel bad. You were just a young and stubborn born with the usual young trait.

By the way, you should be glad people address you as Sir and Oga. So many extremely Rich men with all their wealth aren't respected. Its a Honor and Grace from God.

Stale

@Achilies

It seems that you are sabotaging yourself by the never-ending feelings of guilt. Does it help you / anyone?

"Guilt is the worst form of self-induced punishment."

I don't think your father and sister wanted it for you. I am not sure if there is some sort of after-life, but if there is, I am sure your loved ones do not want you to punish yourself. Let them rest IN PEACE!

So sorry for your loss hopefully you feel better in time.

@op dont be too hard on urself. so u want to hold yourself to ransom for the rest of ur life be reasonable. mistake occurs everytime, no one is perfect. forgive yourself and move on afterall lesson has been learnt, no need to remain in the classroom.

Hmmmm that was the same case with my younger sister way back in 2005,in my uni days .grow up bro ,be a man and a responsible one for that matter.And this shall come to Pass

gidjah:
Hmmmm that was the same case with my younger sister way back in 2005,in my uni days .grow up bro ,be a man and a responsible one for that matter.And this shall come to Pass

Cool!