Can't stop laughing when I first saw the caption of this thread.

Bros, I practically relate to your storyline. It happened to me 2009 when I went for holidays at Onitsha. After my stay with my brother at Fegge, I went to Emeka Offor's plaza to buy one Chinese phone called Gi-tide that was in vogue then.

When I stepped-in to the plaza, some guys were beckoning on me to buy phone from them while some other guys declared interest to help me buy the desired phone that I needed.
Finally, I chose to follow one slender bloke who offered to take me to where I 'll buy it cheaper. My reason was that I can take it up with him if he decides to act funny not knowing that they have strings of contingent.

To cut the story short, I followed him to the main plaza where we finally bought the phone after haggling on the price. Then I payed the lady that sold the phone to me and we walked downstairs to the open busy areas where there were lots of other guys that sat adjacent to each other with their laptops downloading music for some of there customers.

While we were at the upstairs, this guy asked if I wants to download music and I nodded in affirmative with the excitement that filled my heart because of the new phone I 'd just acquired not knowing that this guy has some aces up his sleeves.

We walked straight downstairs, followed right then turned left in the array of DJs and some phone retailers that sampled their phones in a transparent show glasses. We walked passed them, move into the inner chamber of the suites. He introduced me to one huge guy with frightening biceps, fear gripped me but I don't want to show it. Then I maintain my indifferent mood as he offered me chair. I sat down, fumbled inside my pocket and brought out my new phone then showed him. He complimented me after tossing it around.

"Bros you be big boy ooh! see the kind phone wey you just go buy. How much kill this machine " he asked rather sarcastically. I laughed and thanked him. Then told him that I bought it for N3,300.
I never wanted to show my fear there especially when I looked up to him and see the dark sunglass he enshrined his eyes.

I asked him amidst his compliment 'how much do you download songs, movies and pictures?' He told me that music is N20, movie N30 and pictures N10 for each of them. After telling me their prices, I did a mental calculation on how to download them.

I 'd N700 with me including my transport back to fegge. I thought of downloading 20musics for N400, 5movies for N150 and 5picture for N50 hoping that I 'll still have some balance that 'll. be enough for my T-fare back to my hood.

I told him what I thought amidst the humming sound of Wizboyy's Owusagi track that was blaring from a six loader home theatre. I thought he heard me not knowing that it's was one of their gimmicks to disclaim that he didn't heard what I said cos he went ahead and transferred 403 songs with 5pictures and 5 music videos.

After fiddling with his laptop's mouse, he said that my money totalled N1,060. I screamed! "But I never say you should download such number for me" I barked.

"Listen young man! If you don't want to pay me my money, I 'll seize your phone" he retorted back at me.
Fear catch me and I started begging them please. I told him that the only money I had on me was N700 including my transport. That they should consider me and give me N50 which I 'll use for my transport.
All my pleas went on a deaf ear...

After everything, he agreed to give me back my phone when one of their contingent interfered on the matter on my behalf. I was so elated that I promised to send the guy N750 MTN recharge card when I gets to the house.

I briskly walked away from the plaza down to the main road, flagged down a moving transit bus then jumped inside almost immediately . Upper-iweka here we go!
While I was inside the bus heading to upper Iweka, I fumbled inside my pocket brought out my new phone to admire the new piece of Chinese technology I just got for my self. I fixed-on my headphones to my ears, fiddling with it. I turned it on, pressed the "menu button"...media, ... music...play all music... then it occurred to me that this guys just duped me. All the songs he downloaded inside the memory card can't play more than 7seconds and it 'll stopped.

See correct 419 oooo, bros you get mind sha. On sighting that huge fellow, I would have smelt trouble oooo. I For take off with the excuse of having insufficient funds.

For Wan ni. Naija sha! Tx 4 d lecture

Lesson learnt, Next time if you enter Emeka Offor and any of them approach you to help you find phone say no, I no dey try am.
I would rather walk all over the plaza that day if I don't find the phone I'm looking for i'll buy another one.

Can't stop laughing...

Big boy for your mind

divinehand2003:
See correct 419 oooo, bros you get mind sha. On sighting that huge fellow, I would have smelt trouble oooo. I For take off with the excuse of having insufficient funds.

Alobam,Emeka Offor plaza no dey for upper iweka,na for Main Market e dey.
Onwebedighi ihe ifuru.

khalhokage:
Lesson learnt, Next time if you enter Emeka Offor and any of them approach you to help you find phone say no, I no dey try am.
I would rather walk all over the plaza that day if I don't find the phone I'm looking for i'll buy another one.

Bros this guy's get sharp mouth oooh! Some times you won't even know when you dabble into their trap.

BobUg28:


Bros this guy's get sharp mouth oooh! Some times you won't even know when you dabble into their trap.

That's why anytime my friends wan buy phone from there they go say make I follow them, because know say I sabi shun those guys.

khalhokage:


That's why anytime my friends wan buy phone from there they go say make I follow them, because know say I sabi shun those guys.

Lool...maybe your presence scare them away.

Bobugee:

...I turned it on, pressed the "menu button"...media, ... music...play all music... then it occurred to me that this guys just duped me. All the songs he downloaded inside the memory card can't play more than 7seconds and it 'll stopped.

So your case was just that the tracks didn't play and not that your phone was changed? Abeg, swerve one side!

By the way, trust me, your memory card might be bad or that virus/malware affected the transfer.

All you kids who don't know their left and right listen.

1. Never do business with a person who doesn't have a shop. Don't patronise market hustlers. Make sure you buy your stuff in a shop and collect a receipt for the item.

2. Such markets have unions. Whenever a problem arises between you and the seller and cannot be settled by the people around, try to locate the union office and report the matter there. They will surely take it up and solve your problem.

3. Stop being afraid when you go to any organised market. They have rules guiding them. The mischievous traders will only intimidate you when they find out your are ignorant of the market make - up.

He who have ears let him hear!

DjAndroid:
All you kids who don't know their left and right listen.

1. Never do business with a person who doesn't have a shop. Don't patronise market hustlers. Make sure you buy your stuff in a shop and collect a receipt for the item.

2. Such markets have unions. Whenever a problem arises between you and the seller and cannot be settled by the people around, try to locate the union office and report the matter there. They will surely take it up and solve your problem.

3. Stop being afraid when you go to any organised market. They have rules guiding them. The mischievous traders will only intimidate you when they find out your are ignorant of the market make - up.

He who have ears let him hear!

Some wise counsel there . . .

wrong headline. they are not yahoo boys just a local scam

Interesting
People get duped on a daily basis.
You all be careful and don't listen to by standers. Better you go to a recognized shop, or if you don't know any, enter a shop with recognized sign board and transact your business. Make you check and confirm what you buying and get a receipt. Don't enter corners especially if you new to the environs.

But even after all this. Peeps go still enter one chance

DjAndroid:
All you kids who don't know their left and right listen.
1. Never do business with a person who doesn't have a shop. Don't patronise market hustlers. Make sure you buy your stuff in a shop and collect a receipt for the item.
2. Such markets have unions. Whenever a problem arises between you and the seller and cannot be settled by the people around, try to locate the union office and report the matter there. They will surely take it up and solve your problem.
3. Stop being afraid when you go to any organised market. They have rules guiding them. The mischievous traders will only intimidate you when they find out your are ignorant of the market make - up.
He who have ears let him hear!

one chance you enter bros



ARE YOU A BLOGGER? CHECK MY SIGNATURE

SirBlack999:
Alobam,Emeka Offor plaza no dey for upper iweka,na for Main Market e dey.
Onwebedighi ihe ifuru.

Me self surprise ooo

SirBlack999:
Alobam,Emeka Offor plaza no dey for upper iweka,na for Main Market e dey.
Onwebedighi ihe ifuru.

nwanne i smell lies from the op..

SirBlack999:
Alobam,Emeka Offor plaza no dey for upper iweka,na for Main Market e dey.
Onwebedighi ihe ifuru.

nwanne i smell lies from the op.. How pesin go talk say emeka offor di na iweka... Lols

funkyjms:


So your case was just that the tracks didn't play and not that your phone was changed? Abeg, swerve one side!

By the way, trust me, your memory card might be bad or that virus/malware affected the transfer.

My thoughts exactly, why would he copy 2 second songs to him? I believe it's d @op's memory card that was corrupt

hahaaaaha lollx DUNDEE UNITED

osnova:
nwanne i smell lies from the op.. How pesin go talk say emeka offor di na iweka... Lols

amakwam way op anuwa oo.

I can still recall it like it happened yesterday. It was on that faithful sunny Friday afternoon when the blaring sun was threatening to burn everything that emits carbon four oxide. I hastily sprout-off from the couch in the parlour when my phone rang, briskly walked into our visitors' room where I had neatly arranged all my ironed clothes in my newly acquired samsonite brown leather bag. Picked up my casual navy coloured blue jeans, white singlet and my red t-shirt. Wore them and walked out of the house.




Few years ago after my stay with one of my cousin brother at Fegge, I went to Emeka Offor's plaza to buy one Chinese phone called Gi-tide that was in vogue then.

When I stepped-in to the plaza, some guys were beckoning on me to buy phone from them while some other guys declared interest to help me buy the desired phone that I needed.
Finally, I chose to follow one slender guy (that was relatively smaller than I was then) who offered to take me to where I 'll buy the phone cheaper and also get the best quality that will last for long. My reason was that I could take it up with him if he decides to act funny not knowing that they have strings of contingent scattered all over the whole places.

To cut the story short, I followed him to the main plaza where we finally bought the phone from one particular fair lady after haggling on the price. Then I payed the lady who sold the phone to me and we walked downstairs to the open busy areas where there were lots of other guys that sat adjacent to each other with their laptops downloading music for some their customers.

While we were at the upstairs, the guy asked if I 'd like to download music,videos and pictures and I nodded in affirmative with the excitement that had filled my heart because of the new phone I 'd just acquired for myself without knowing that he hhas some aces up his sleeves.

We walked straight downstairs, followed right then turned left in the array of DJs and some phone retailers that sampled their phones in a transparent show glasses. We walked passed them, move into the inner chamber of the suites. Then, he lead me to the extreme of the suit, introduced me to one huge guy with a frightening biceps.

Fear gripped me at the sight of that heavily built folk who could stand the then Simon Peter and win him outrightly but I never wanted to show my fears. Then I maintain my indifferent mood as he offered me chair. I sat down, fumbled inside my pocket and brought out my new phone then shown him. He complimented me after tossing it around.

"Nnah, Ekwenti gi a mechiri akwukwo" ( this your phone makes sense) See the kind phone wey you go buy. How much kill this machine " he asked rather sarcastically. I laughed and thanked him. Then I proudly told him how much I bought the phone with intent of that he'll shutdown every other thing and focus on my G-tide.

The truth was that I loved that phone, the features and how easy it was to operate. I had once seen it with a schoolmate (friend) the first time I travelled to Nnewi to visit one of my cousin. We bombed into each other while I was returning from an errand my auntie sent me.

We exchanged pleasantries amid joy and happiness with an unprecedented surprise I had never had then at Nnewi. I never thought I would ran into a friend like that. In short, he was the last person I was hoping to see. We never discussed it. Although, he told me he might travel to Lagos amid conversation. Surprisingly, we met, greeted, discussed about few things and finally we decided to exchange numbers. I fumbled into my pocket, brought out my Nokia 1200 (twelve hundred) keyed-in his number as he freely called them out. I was left with my mouth ajar, eyes wide open immediately he brought out his ringing phone which I dialed.

"Wow" I grimaced out at the sight that beautiful Chinese technology called Gi-tide. From thence, I made up my mind that before I return back to Onitsha, that I 'll buy the phone. It was a promise and I was determined to fulfil it at all cost. Even though, it will amount to travelling back home without any other thing.

"Emeka, how much did you buy this phone?" I asked as I stretched forth my hand to collect the phone from him.

"Ugooo, honestly I don't know, I wasn't the one who bought it. It was my uncle. He didn't apprise me on how much he bought it but I know it wasn't more than four thousand Naira cos I over heard him saying something about G-tide and 4000 plus when he was discussing with a friend on phone..." At the hearing of four thousand naira, I made a quick calculations of how much I had in my bag there in Onitsha. Then I remembered the money I had saved from transport, afternoon foods and the one friends and my brother's customers dashed me that my money was totalling N4850.

Great! Am good to go...I was feeling like 2pac after analysing how much I have within my mind. I later came up with the conclusion that I will definitely buy the phone as soon as I stepped-in to Onitsha- my home base.

-----
I never wanted to show my fear especially when I looked up to his face and see the dark goggles he used to enshrined his two fierce looking socket-like eye.

I asked him amidst his compliment 'how much do you download songs, movies and pictures?' He told me that music is N20, movie N30 and pictures N10 for each of them. After telling me their prices, I did a mental calculation on how to download them.

I had N700 with me including my transport back to fegge. I thought of downloading 20musics for N400, 5movies for N150 and 5picture for N50 hoping that I 'll still have some balance that will be enough to cater for my T-fare back to my street.

I told him what I thought in the midst of the humming sound of Wizboyy's Owusagi track that was blaring from a six loader home theatre. I thought he heard me not knowing that it's was one of their gimmicks to disclaim that he didn't heard what I said cos he went ahead and transferred 403 songs with 5pictures and 5 music videos.

After fiddling with his mouse, he said that my money totalled N1,060. I screamed! "But I never say you should download such number for me" I barked with a stuttering voice.

"Listen young man! I don't have time for all this your cock and bull stories. If you don't want to pay me my money, I 'll cease your phone and lock you up with the market management until your brother will come and bail you." he retorted back at me with a deep baritone voice that sent a cold chill down my throat.
.
Fear caught me at the hearing of that his hunky voice, I can't imagine loosing my newly acquired phone to such deadly skin headed dude. And subsequently, I can't afford to inform my brother, cos I was covertly hiding it from him. I never wanted him to know that I bought a new phone. He will definitely get mad at me cos there are several other more important things I 'd have used the money for. But brewing egolistic tendency and the feel of self-importance in me, never gave room for second thought. All that was on my mind

I started begging them with all manner of sincerity feigning innocent face. I told him that the only money I had on me was N700 including my transport. That they should consider me and give me N50 which I 'll use for my transport.
All my pleas went on a deaf ear...

At the end, he agreed to give me back my phone after one of their(supposed) contingent interfered on the matter on my behalf. I was so elated that I promised to send the guy N750 MTN recharge card when I gets to the house. I borrowed their pen and wrote down his phone number, made to give him money from my pocket before I noticed that I was left with nothing.

I briskly walked away from the plaza down to the main road through a narrow boulevard, that connects to the main road which leads to Upper-Iweka. Several groups of businessmen and women were busy dusting and beckoning on passer-bys to patronise them almost at the same time.

Immediately I crossed the other end of the road, I made to flagged down a moving transit bus then jumped inside almost immediately, it occurred to me that it was filled to the brim with different set of people ranging from those whom I suppose was heading back to either Oba, Nnobi, Awka, or Asaba. I brought out my( nokia) phone, glanced through it and the time reads 16:48.

"Ah!, if I don't hurry up now, I might be held down on a gridlock. If my brother happens to return before me and I don't have any substantial reason to give, it might possibly result to another different thing." I thought.

I stood close to the road waiting for another bus that will take me to upper iweka then I would trek down to our street even though it was like a stone thrown from Upper Iweka.

Not too long, I saw one old green painted green looking more like a dilapidated Indian made sedan with its pixels rattling, and four tyres wobbling coming adjacent from my left where I stood. I quickly hopped onto the moving vehicle as it crawled past me.

I sat down and fumbled inside my pocket, brought out my newly acquired wonderful Chinese technology called Gi-tide. Only God knows how wide my shoulder were cos I was feeling like an emir of Kano at that moment. I thought of how smart I was;

First, by cunning and wriggling my way out of those dreaded contingents who had threatened to lock me up in their guard room. What would have been my fate if news happened to get to my senior brother that I was locked up in Emeka Offor's plaza cos I don't have money to pay for the music I downloaded? It would have been funny but if care is not taking, it would cost me my holiday's package. Imagine going for holidays and return empty handed. That's going to be an epic fail.

Secondly, I saw myself as a good bargainer who made it to slash-off N300 off the actual price that was bold written on the price tag I saw on the phone inside a show-glass.

I speedily walked past several groups of people who are doing their business, took my left then followed the narrow boulevard that connects the main road which leads to upper iweka.

When I came out, I stood close to the road waiting for a bus that will take me to upper iweka then I 'll trek down to our street even though it was like a stone thrown from main market . Not too long, I saw one old painted green bus looking more like a dilapidated Indian made sedan with its pixels rattling, and four tyres wobbling coming adjacent from my left where I stood. I quickly hopped-onto the moving vehicle almost immediately is it crawled past me.

Then, I sat down and fumbled inside my pocket, brought out my newly acquired Chinese technology. Only God knows how wide my shoulder were cos I was feeling like an emir of Kano at that moment. I thought of how smart I was first ; by cunning my way out of those dreaded contingents who had threatened to lock me up in their guard room. Secondly, I saw myself as a good bargainer who overtly who made it to slash-off N300 off the actual price that was written on the price tag.

After

Jet Alan Lloyd is my handsome Black Ghanaian friend at the brink of his mid twenties . An English teacher who's remarkable in his profession ,very smart and brilliant. He's a die-hard Manchester United Fan.

A self-developmental Couch who derives joy in seeing others succeed academically and other related fields. He's well versed with Queen Elisabeth's English irrespective of the fact that he grew up in a remote Akan village, where the only English he knew and spake then, until he turned 12years was "Good morning" and "Thank you" Those happens either whenever he woke up in the morning or you did something that demands returning the gesture. His desire, determination, dedication and perseverance is what kept him. And holding tenaciously to this Four Pillars the leads to a successful life, he has transcended all the hassles.

.
Living the normal life of a middle class citizen who came from a lower class was as a result of the experience and exposure he had when he moved to Tokaradi. He isn't well endowed with affluence, but he's living a very comfortable life as a bachelor. He has a brand new 2014 Toyota Yaris, a beautiful Samsung s6 edge, a window phone an apple tablets, lived in a well furnished one bedroom self contained apartment. He has a decent teaching job which gives him all the time he needs to pursue his extra curricular activities. Occasionally, he usually misuse them to chase between anything that's strapped under a ladies lingerie. Never had any lady turned down his request down though he seldom flirt with classless ladies, he only focus on the working class ladies. As a young man with an impressive academic performances, he have different beautiful ladies at his beck and call.




He have had the opportunity to interact with lots of folks; both on real live and on social media; facebook, twitter , WhatsApp etc. He's not not really a professor in dating and relationships, but he has been in the dating game for a long time and; if actually he enrolled as a student into a dating school when he started dating, he would have been made a professor by now; its that deep?


He has dated as a young (very young) teenager, as a young guy, as a student, as a poor guy, as a rich guy, as an unemployed guy, as a working class guy and lots more. He dated different classes of ladies; classy, classless, young, mature, older, emotional, overbearing, sentimental and loads of other ladies; so by now he deserves a professorship in dating. Lol.


The same goes to drinking... He began drinking when he was 10 as a young guy. He has drank different types of alcohol ; Spirits, Cognacs, Wines, Whisky , both cheap and expensive , so by now he deserves a professorship in drinking too. Lol..

It didn't took much time weekend (Sunday) approached. Meanwhile, Jet, had called to remind her about their date which they both scheduled together. To his greatest surprise, Katherine made it clear to him that she's very much aware of the date.

"How can I forget such an important date with my new Black prince charming" she said and jet felt her giggle over the other end

"Never in this life will I forget such a yet-to-come exquisite date with you" she boasted again. Only if Jet knows what her plan was.

Kathy was more interested in how much that would fall off from Jet's pocket rather than what they will both discuss and how far the relationship they are about to establish would go. Kathy's real name is Nneoma, she's one of those Abuja-hungry-Bae who depends on rich Abuja businessmen and top government officials to survive in the city. Most time she will wake up dressed and pick up her Gucci leather bags and stood along Sharaton, Bolingo or Trancorp Hilton's hotels or walking aimlessly to see if she can get a lift from any well to man. She lives an exorbitant lifestyle, everything about her speaks of opulence, starting from the wig she has fixed on her head down to her footwear. Jet on the other hand, on a mission of Hit and Run. hitting her jackpot while Katherine was making a very good plan on how to devour his pocket. Only if she knows he's jut a mere private school teacher who placed most of his assets on mortgages ; his house, h's Toyota Yaris, his Land and a borrowed Samsung tab. All her judgements and assessment centred on how sop. The flashy car she saw him driving the first time he stopped and honked his car in anticipation to draw her attention which actually worked.

"Good afternoon, Angel!" he had said.

"Yeah, good day, young man." she replied with faint shrill voice as she grimaced with the feeling of indifference written all over her face.


Jet now thought of which beautiful cliché toasting line he should used on her since she sounds and appear very eloquent and enchanting. Already, he had memorised all the toasting line while he was still in high school. He had used them several times in the University, such that they all now come in handy anytime he needs them to run his package. But there's onething about Kathy that was entirely different girls he had met_her accent! She has this American accent which got Jet thinking if she's actually an African. Never in his life has he chyked an American. An never imagined it in his whole life. Meanwhile, he never knew which toasting line would help perfect his plan without making him appear like an amateur in the game.. He thought about the most effective one to use..

1." Wow! Bae, your face looks familiar, have met before?" he decided against it since he felt that it has been overused. He now thought of the second line as he had carefully written them and memorised it...

2."Has anyone told you how beautiful you're?" he said Naa! It's a cliché..she might have heard that countless times. He resort to the third line..

3."Are you an Okro soup, how come you keep drawing me closer to you?" he remembered he never come in contact wit her before. It would have been better if they have met before. ..

4. "Can you spare me a Minute out of your time"? Normally, the punchline would have worked if Kathy was in a hurry. But unfortunately, she wasn't. So he felt again that it cannot work.

5."Please can you direct me to my Destination?" Regularly, he usually used that as a leverage to induced ladies into talking to him but she didn't look like one who's from that area.

6."You're too Pretty to be walking under this scorching Sun" He felt this would have worked only if the weather wasn't cloudy.

Finally, he decided against it considering that non of them would caught her attention. All these happened within the speed of light as the whole thing swirled in his brain like a whirlwind. Like other guys, and a chronic womaniser, Jet can't afford to lose this girl. He decided to play his last card. As a brave dude, he summoned courage and made the first move to ask her out. Fortunately or should I say unfortunately, without wasting much of his time or observing the unnecessary pretence ladies usually exhibit, she gave in and they both agreed and booked a date to meet at Karibu Hotel on Sunday evening by 3pm.

One of my close friend nearly made me laughed my intestines out today when he shared his one his terrible escapade with one Abuja-hungry-Bae with me.

Obinna is a very good friend of mine, we have been friends for over two years now. Our friendship has blossomed so much that I have almost regard him as brother. We have several things in common apart from the fact that he's a chronic womaniser, who sees nothing to appreciate unless whenever he meets with a beautiful young lass. You will only know how much talent he's endowed with whenever he analyse his technical mechanisms to get anything that is strapped under a ladies lingerie.
.
According to Obinna, he was returning back from work last week, when he saw Katherine, whom according to him, said preferred being addressed as "Kathy" walking along the pedestrian walk-way. Kathy is a beautiful young fair lady of about 21years, she has a dazzling beautiful slender built physique that could best be compared with that of Naomi Campbell. One can actually mistake her to be an Irish judging by her appearance. The sight of her heavily built Barcelona and her undulating bristols made my friend's third leg resisted all the gravitational force and threatened to jump out through his tightly-closed- fitted flap.


Momentarily, he couldn't resist the urge to let this beautiful angel get away without getting his own fair share from the (supposed) beautiful free food(as he had presumed). So he pedalled down, pulled up close to the kerb behind the roadside , briskly yanked his door opened, stepped out from his car and dashed towards Kathy with short run and brief walk as she kept walking down before he now beckoned on her to stop amidst "whistling" and "pssssss!" shrill intermittent sounds, With his right hand stretched forward signalling her to stop, he ran across the main road (double coal tarred road).
Kathy, looked back and saw him running up to her like a desperate hungry-frog chasing after a helpless grasshopper who's fate could only be decided by what happens in a few moment.

As a pro, who has been in the game since his high school days, then through all his stay in the tertiary institution, he instantly thought of the easiest possible gimmicks he 'd use on Kathy that would get her fall for his pranks without wasting much of his time.