i really do not get it,
the society is bad. can't we just live our lives the way we want it?
ok, I am 21. my fiancee just graduated from the university,he is yet to go for nysc and cannot afford to pay my bride price for now, he will do that when the money comes.
But meanwhile, our pastor is saying that we should not stay together until he pay my bride price and i am getting impatient .
He is insisting that i should pack into his house let's start living together, but i still respect our pastor and what people will say.
for how long?
right now, i am confuse. can someone worthy give me a better advice?
please, only matured minds

u 21 so u still got life ahead if u

he is not married to u but wants u to move in wit him, my dear dont play wit fire

u impatient, pls y are u. wats d rush

pastor wants u to bcon a bride b4 moving in, i think dats a fair judgmnt



my conclusion. ( choice is sti urs dou)
wait till ur price is paid b4 futher action, as long as it takes

FANNY SHOULDN'T COST A THING.

At 21 why would you want to Pack into a man's house without proper marriage

Tell me why you are impatient And what Future you have planned out for yourself or are you planning to live off him

Omotayor123:
At 21 why would you want to Pack into a man's house without proper marriage

Tell me why you are impatient And what Future you have planned out for yourself or are you planning to live off him

i just want to be happy,
i am happy when ever i am with him

at 21, a girl should be in her husband's house, it is poverty that is causing this delay. But if you have decided to move ahead, why not?
he will pay the bride price later

Omotayo why in a hurry? Look b4 u leap

That feeling when you have your first sex.

Hildalicious:

i just want to be happy,
i am happy when ever i am with him

Suffice to say; "You derive your own happiness from a man, and not your creator or yourself."

My dear...if you rush in...you will surely rush out.


If you move in with him without the necessary traditions being done...he will surely get tired at the long run.

On top of that....by the time he gets a better job....his mentality will change...cause he would get to meet higher babes who are more advance than you of which naturally he would want to roll with them.

Try to equip yourself more educational wise and make sure you climb the ladder of success as he is climbing.

We guys can be funny when the money starts arriving.....BE WISE!!!!!

You are thinking of just your pastor, have you both given a practical thought to what it entails to live with someone?
1. What do you do at 21?
2. Yes, you are happy when you are with him but what are your plans at improving his life and by extension yours as well?
3. What are your life goals apart from getting hitched?

There are so many things that water love; living together isn't one of them. So, coolu your body. Allow him get a job, take care of himself and plan towards taking care of another. Even if he is impatient, you should patiently point out the benefits of waiting.

Hildalicious:
i really do not get it,
the society is bad. can't we just live our lives the way we want it?
ok, I am 21. my fiancee just graduated from the university,he is yet to go for nysc and cannot afford to pay my bride price for now, he will do that when the money comes.

You are barely 21 and marriage at least shouldn't be a top priority now.
He is fresh out of school shows he is still a starter, is he ready to start a family? is he ready for the pressures of marital life or maybe you are likening the feel of boy/girl friend hood to marriage?

you are happy with him, well most of us are happy with the ones we are dating and wish to marry them but it shouldn't be rushed into just like that. . Dating is different from marriage.

This is totally different, marriage is a commitment, a long beautiful but sometimes excruciating journey, its not something you just jump into because you think you are in love.

But meanwhile, our pastor is saying that we should not stay together until he pay my bride price and i am getting impatient .

Pastor aside, your impatience stems from a free carefree childish mind. .21 is a young age and so this is not a surprise.

This infatuated feeling of yours needs to be subdued and put in check. . .Life is one step at a time, do not jump into what you cannot finish..

He is insisting that i should pack into his house let's start living together, but i still respect our pastor and what people will say.

Do you think it is right to jump into marriage without at least acknowledging the parents?

I am in support of two people who wants to be together being together but frankly why is he in such a hurry for this when he isn't ready for it, when you are barely into your twenties.

Do you think i wouldn't also have loved to be married now? No these things are not supposed to be rushed. . . It's a journey that is tied to our happiness and so should not be taken as a haggle of market wares.

for how long?

As long as it takes for you both to be ready and sure of what you want to go into.

This impatience is uncalled for, you have to show you are grown woman now because frankly only a child would be this impatient.

Decide what you want, if you want to go to him, that is beautifully fine provided you dont regret such later, if you are going to live with him as a girl friend also fine but make sure you calm down and think about what is it you want and the direction you want to steer your life to..

right now, i am confuse. can someone worthy give me a better advice?
please, only matured minds

You are under no confusion but yours.

It's your call, decided on what you want... I hope at least you let your parents know

johnydon22:
You are barely 21 and marriage at least shouldn't be a top priority now.
He is fresh out of school shows he is still a starter, is he ready to start a family? is he ready for the pressures of marital life or maybe you are likening the feel of boy/girl friend hood to marriage?

you are happy with him, well most of us are happy with the ones we are dating and wish to marry them but it shouldn't be rushed into just like that. . Dating is different from marriage.

This is totally different, marriage is a commitment, a long beautiful but sometimes excruciating journey, its not something you just jump into because you think you are in love.


Pastor aside, your impatience stems from a free carefree childish mind. .21 is a young age and so this is not a surprise.

This infatuated feeling of yours needs to be subdued and put in check. . .Life is one step at a time, do not jump into what you cannot finish..

Do you think it is right to jump into marriage without at least acknowledging the parents?

I am in support of two people who wants to be together being together but frankly why is he in such a hurry for this when he isn't ready for it, when you are barely into your twenties.

Do you think i wouldn't also have loved to be married now? No these things are not supposed to be rushed. . . It's a journey that is tied to our happiness and so should not be taken as a haggle of market wares.

As long as it takes for you both to be ready and sure of what you want to go into.

This impatience is uncalled for, you have to show you are grown woman now because frankly only a child would be this impatient.

Decide what you want, if you want to go to him, that is beautifully fine provided you dont regret such later, if you are going to live with him as a girl friend also fine but make sure you calm down and think about what is it you want and the direction you want to steer your life to..


You are under no confusion but yours.

It's your call, decided on what you want... I hope at least you let your parents know

we have agreed that we will not start having children until there is money.
but we can still be living together now.
i don't want to discuss it with my parent, they will discourage me.
we really love ourselves enough to stay together

Hildalicious:
i just want to be happy, i am happy when ever i am with him

You still have a long way to go... Don't be deceived by initial gra gra!

Hildalicious:
i really do not get it,
the society is bad. can't we just live our lives the way we want it?
ok, I am 21. my fiancee just graduated from the university,he is yet to go for nysc and cannot afford to pay my bride price for now, he will do that when the money comes.
But meanwhile, our pastor is saying that we should not stay together until he pay my bride price and i am getting impatient .
He is insisting that i should pack into his house let's start living together, but i still respect our pastor and what people will say.
for how long?
right now, i am confuse. can someone worthy give me a better advice?
please, only matured minds

Read this :
https://www.nairaland.com/2627474/things-must-not-man-dating

Omotayor123:
At 21 why would you want to Pack into a man's house without proper marriage

Tell me why you are impatient And what Future you have planned out for yourself or are you planning to live off him

What's even more surprising is that the guy isn't employed.

Kazrem:
What's even more surprising is that the guy isn't employed.

I tire for OP oooo

Niyeal:
Omotayo why in a hurry? Look b4 u leap

Wetin I do?

Hildalicious:
i really do not get it,
the society is bad. can't we just live our lives the way we want it?
ok, I am 21. my fiancee just graduated from the university,he is yet to go for nysc and cannot afford to pay my bride price for now, he will do that when the money comes.
But meanwhile, our pastor is saying that we should not stay together until he pay my bride price and i am getting impatient .
He is insisting that i should pack into his house let's start living together, but i still respect our pastor and what people will say.
for how long?
right now, i am confuse. can someone worthy give me a better advice?
please, only matured minds

Wife on credit.

Kazrem:

What's even more surprising is that the guy isn't employed.

He is collecting rent from properties his late dad left for him as the only child.
So far we have been sustaining ourselves with that. I'm not really interested in the money, I'm Just happy we love each other enough to stay together for the rest of our lives.
But my parents are the ones disturbing him that he should come and do the right thing. I have already left them
Now, where do we get the money for now?

Hildalicious:

He is collecting rent from properties his late dad left for him as the only child.
So far we have been sustaining ourselves with that. I'm not really interested in the money, I'm Just happy we love each other enough to stay together for the rest of our lives.
But my parents are the ones disturbing him that he should come and do the right thing. I have already left them
Now, where do we get the money for now?

Can't he use the rent money to make some form of commitment on your head? Not necessarily bride price in total, he can start something to show he is serious with you.

Meanwhile, your future is not secured with him. He can decide to ditch you anytime. Why don't you guys walk into a registry and get wedded and obtain a valid marriage certificate? It doesn't cost much and this will help secure you in the marriage and in future.

Good luck, keep us posted.

You are concerned about what the pastor said, what about what God says.

Op! If it it right for people within your age range to have bf/gf, they can marry. It is natural for our body to get attracted to the opposite sex and the only religious way to satisfy the desire is marriage.

Op! Once you are sure the man is righteous and of good character, marry him. However, educate those around you why that is a better option than sleeping with him while you are both unmarried......... May God guide you right. Peace.

Hildalicious:

we have agreed that we will not start having children until there is money.
but we can still be living together now.
i don't want to discuss it with my parent, they will discourage me.
we really love ourselves enough to stay together

I dont see what your situation has to do with religion.

Shouldnt your thread be in romance section?