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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Cohabitation: A Deadly Trend In Nigeria Tertiary Institutions (2322 Views)
Lovers Be Warned About This New Dangerous Trend In Nigeria (pictures) / Problems Assciated With Cohabitation. A.k.a "Lagos Marriage" / Latest Sexual Harassment Cases In Nigeria’s Tertiary Institutions ! (2) (3) (4)
Cohabitation: A Deadly Trend In Nigeria Tertiary Institutions by Kingsley1000(m): 7:35am On Oct 02, 2015 |
Government policy on students
hostel accommodation i.e.
encouraging private developers may
have its good side but from my
observation, the inability of the
institution expanding and building
new hostels has forced several
students to look out word for
accommodation.
This trend has led to the emergence
of an unacceptable trend in most
tertiary institution. Some call it
campus marriage but I would rather
call it “cohabitation” among
students. Since its an indecent act
penetrated off campus.
Cohabitation is simply an act of a
man and woman living together and
having a sexual relationship without
being married. This growing trend is
gradually eroding the “near absent”
level of morality among the youths. I
would prepare to describe it as a
deadly trend in Nigeria’s tertiary
institutions. Sometimes I wonder
what kind of leaders my generation
would produce, considering the
saying “Youths are leaders of
tomorrow”.
The off campus phenomenon is
most preferred by student in Nigeria
tertiary institutions considering
some genuine reasons like the poor
sanitary condition in hostels and the
over crowding. However, most
students have their selfish and
unrealistic reasons.
Taking a closer look on our campus
today, unmarried student do not
only live together but some of them
engage in sexual activities, among
other things which married couple,
do (cohabitating).
The reason why students cohabit are
not far fetched some students who
agreed to have their minds on this
issues say it is by living together
that the so called “couples” get to
know if they are compatible or not
for marriage this they said is the
reason why they take the period of
living together as “husband and
wife” as a period to test their
compatibility.
While some cohabitating students
find it difficult to live apart because
of the strong physical intimacy
between them, the addictive prowess
of sex over them make confuse sex
for love. A relationship that has
strong dependency on sexual
intimacy makes it quite difficult for
the ‘couples’ to receive other
problems.
They begin to use sex as a way of
convincing themselves that the
relationship is moving fine. Instead
of the sexual act being a life-given
act of mutual love, it is becoming a
life-drawing and self-abuse of the
other part.
Many a times, the need for
companionship and fear of
loneliness becomes so strong
among students that they begin to
think they cannot wait for marriage
before living together. This
eventually leads to insecurity
especially on the part of the ladies.
Say no to cohabitation because you
will spare yourself the pain and grief
of finding out that you were being
used rather than loved, sex and love
are not the same thing. It is hundred
percent possible for one to have sex
with you and not to love you.
A student of University of Ibadan
who lives with his girlfriend said ‘It
is not wrong, it is an opportunity for
them to know each other better’.
Other students who responded on
this matter said they decided to
cohabite for economic and financial
reasons among others and to some
others students it is for this reason
that male students are not allowed
to enter into the female hostels that
they opt for accommodation off
campus to have access for
propinquity to their pattern.
In this sophisticated world, where
people have freedom to live their
lives the way they choose, the youth
especially student are not left behind
in this trend ad they express their
freedom by living independently
with a fellow students of the
opposite sex, outside the promise of
marriage particularly among those
who live off campus.
Our contemporary society, thrusts
young men and women into each
other world more than increasing
such that young people of both
genders now do not find anything
wrong in cohabitating. My pain as a
woman is that this young ladies,
beautiful ladies, beautiful creature of
Allah, mothers of tomorrow. It is a
very sad to hear that this young
brilliant men and women living with
each other.
First the greatest problem mankind
is facing is not producing children,
but taking care of them. One need
to be told that many people are
where they are today, because of the
effort or failure of their parents. How
are you planning to take care of
your children so that they should
have a brighter future or are you
planning to live them at the mercy of
God? That is good, but a stitch in
times saves nine. Build yours
solidly and leave the rest to God.
According to Dr. Khalifa Ali Dikwa of
the Department of English,
University of Maiduguri said during
their time in school 1981-1985
cohabitation did not exist among
them. Although it existed but what
they engaged themselves mostly
was in reading they had the best
result and most of them came out
with the best result at the end of
their time they celebrated both the
men and women who came out and
there some of them chose their
wives.
This proves that the time of our
fathers and mothers nevertheless the
best because what we do with our
lives now is against our culture,
tradition and most of all our religion.
“Q 31 – 3 - 2 ” Nor come to night
to adultery:
For it is a shameful (deed) and an
evil, opening the road (to other
evils): Q 896 – 2 – 3 the women
and the men guilty of adultery or
fornication, flog each of them with a
hundred spipes: let not compassion
move you in their case, in a matter
prescribed by God, if ye believe in
God and the last day: And let a part
of the believers witness their
punishments. Let no man guilty of
adultery or fornication marry and but
a women similarly guilty, or an
unbeliever: Nor let any but such a
man or an unbeliever marry such a
woman: To the believers such a
thing is forbidden’. ‘Corinthians 1 –
7vs – 1 – 5. It is good for a man
not to have sex with a woman. But
because sexual sin is a danger,
each man should then have his own
wife and his women should have her
own husband’.
These are the word of God that
means cohabitation is not good for
we students because this is proving
to us that this are not the kind of
things we are supposed to in
school.
Oh! My brothers and sisters in
Nigeria tertiary institution why are
we doing things that our parents did
not do during their time in school?
Why are we going against our God?
Why? Why would some students
take cohabitation at something that
is not a big deal? To them, it
actually comes along in form of
liberation. The more time change it
remains save.
Abdulwahab Tajudeen Tiamiyu a
student of Ahmadu Bello University
Zaria said cohabitating entail
practice of two unrelated persons of
opposite sex living together under
marriage – like condition without
being legally married. This implies
that cohabitating is now the model
form of courtship, which apparently
is on the rise among students living
off campus. The students whose
major purpose of coming to the
tertiary institution is to acquire
knowledge now combine “married
life with academic” how serious they
accept this new way of life, poses
another puzzle entirely. How would
a mother feel when she hears that
her son, daughter says they cannot
do without sex, or living with a man
or a lady.
I will like to advice parents, they
should always try to find out where
their son or daughter lives in
school, if they are living off campus
with who and who are their friends.
How are you going to feel when the
man call your boyfriend, love, use
you for a reference. A male student
of University of Lagos department of
Public Law (named withheld) did not
hesitate to use his girlfriend at a
point of reference, as he says the
ladies are the cause of cohabitation
situation because they move around
them often. He said some ladies find
it difficult to live without engaging in
active sex four times a week. He
said for this reason (the female
student) prefer to move in with their
boyfriends. He claimed that
whenever the weather is cold, the
ladies always want their men around
them.
It is then becoming quite worrisome
that students who lives as ‘husband
and wife’ are found of getting
unwanted pregnancies and other
related implications especially with
the acceptance of artificial
contraceptives: the trend is more
encouraged and the possibilities of
getting pregnant is no longer a
deterrent. Even when pregnancy
occurs, they try to get rid of it by all
means.
When a female student lives with her
boy friend on campus, she is fooled
into believing that the relationship
will last forever. She undertakes
every domestic activity like doing
the laundry and most of the time.
This often result in very pathetic
situation, when after leaving school
the boy not only dismiss the
relationship, but may also leave her
with an embarrassing and
uncomfortable parting gift: and
unwanted pregnancy or even HIV/
AIDS and other STD diseases.
Recently, a “couple” living together
in one of the campus lodges in the
Federal Polytechnic of Bida, had a
baby and lost the baby due to their
inability to cater for the baby
financially. Although it is very
possible that campus relationship
end in marriage, think about how
many of such relationship lead to
marriage. Instead, it is a story of
one heart break after the other. The
crux of the matter is that most
cohabitation end on campus.
However, there is a lot of more
involved in cohabitation, sexual
activities that just two bodies
coming together for fun or passion.
Sex can bring more pains than you
can imagine. In fact, casual sex is
like placing your bed spread on the
floor at the chicken house. In this
case, there are reasons for saying
“No cohabitation, sex before
marriage”.
It is shocking that now sex,
cohabitating now becoming one of
the Nigerian favourite subject, you
hear jokes about it from our campus
girls, guys, secondary school
student and we see it in almost the
videos and Television we watch.
Cohabitation and sex has been
identified as the only means use to
improve their love towards each
other. On the other hand, someone
who is keeping sex from marriage is
seen as weird or a religious fanatic.
However, it is seems cohabitation
has so many disadvantages on us
ladies it is now better for us to have
the best quality of a beautiful
woman in order for the men to run
after us instead of us going after
them. “A beautiful woman is a
woman with respect, love, kindness,
a woman with ego, who knows when
to drop it and when to keep it high.
A woman with charisma, a woman
who can sustain her personality,
who knows how to acquire what she
desires without throwing virtue,
grace and personality at the feet of
unworthy adversaries. A woman
who is filled with excellence and it
radiates like a million stars from the
eyes. Women who intelligence
baffles and attracts many, who
positively affect people morally,
socially, academically as well as
psychologically cannot cohabit with
student like her in the name of the
love”.
I have seen relationship without
cohabitation and sex and it has been
moving fine with respect and love.
Mostly, this are the kind of
relationship our mothers had with
our fathers and it has always lasted
forever, why is our own not like
that.
We need to put our heads and
hearts together in order to find a
lasting solution to this deadly trend
of cohabitation. |
Re: Cohabitation: A Deadly Trend In Nigeria Tertiary Institutions by Kingsley1000(m): 7:37am On Oct 02, 2015 |
During your versity days, did you cohabit?
what's the pros and cons in it..........share your experience |
Re: Cohabitation: A Deadly Trend In Nigeria Tertiary Institutions by vizkiz: 7:38am On Oct 02, 2015 |
bro, you are preaching to the choir 1 Like |
Re: Cohabitation: A Deadly Trend In Nigeria Tertiary Institutions by Kingsley1000(m): 7:40am On Oct 02, 2015 |
vizkiz:why you talk like that...... did you support cohabiting among youths? |
Re: Cohabitation: A Deadly Trend In Nigeria Tertiary Institutions by Nobody: 7:50am On Oct 02, 2015 |
Kingsley1000: Yes. Now go back to bed. |
Re: Cohabitation: A Deadly Trend In Nigeria Tertiary Institutions by AbuMikey(m): 7:53am On Oct 02, 2015 |
iLaugh Well, Cohabiting is very wrong among unmarried students, but, what remains definite, is, You just do not know their reason in entirety for Cohabiting. It is not only for Sex!! |
Re: Cohabitation: A Deadly Trend In Nigeria Tertiary Institutions by kossyablaze(m): 7:59am On Oct 02, 2015 |
sayz*A Crow lived in the Forest and was
absolutely satisfied in life.
But one day he saw a Swan...
This Swan is so white and I am so black.. Crow
thought.
This Swan must be the happiest bird in the world.
He expressed his thoughts to the Swan.
"Actually," the Swan replied,
"I was feeling that I was the happiest bird around
until I saw a Parrot, which has two colours.
I now think the Parrot is the happiest bird in
creation."
The Crow then approached the Parrot
The Parrot explained, "I lived a very happy life—
until I saw a Peacock. I have only two colours, but
the Peacock has multiple colours."
The Crow then visited a Peacock in the zoo and
saw that hundreds of people had gathered to see
him.
After the people had left, The Crow approached
the Peacock..
Dear Peacock,
You are so beautiful.
Every day thousands of people come to see you.
When people see me, they immediately shove me
away. I think you are the happiest bird on the
planet.
The Peacock replied,
I always thought that I was the most beautiful
and happy bird on the planet. But because of my
beauty, I am entrapped in this zoo. I have
examined the zoo very carefully, and I have
realized that the Crow is the only bird not kept in
a cage.
So for the past few days I have been thinking that
if I were a Crow, I could happily roam
everywhere.
That's our problem too.
We make unnecessary comparison with others
and become sad. We don't value what God has
given us. This all leads to the vicious cycle of
unhappiness.
Let's value the things God has given us.
Learn the secret of being happy and discard the
comparison which leads only to unhappiness..
Say "I thank you God for everything."
Beauty is not a guarantee to marriage.
Falling sick does not mean you are about to die.
Getting rich is not the definition of prosperity.
Building a nice house is not enjoying luxury.
Sleeping on an expensive bed does not
bring you sound sleep.
Driving a new car is not a guarantee that you're
going to arrive at your destination.
Wearing the best clothes does not mean they look
good on you.
Having a family doctor does not guarantee
permanent health.
Being highly educated is not a sign of wisdom.
Marrying a rich guy does not guarantee a happy
marriage.
Winning an argument does not mean that you are
correct.
Whatever is done without the merit of Heaven is
fake or temporal. He who builds without God, is
building for nothing; and he who watches over a
city without God, watches in vain.
Not everything is possible with men. Yet
everything is possible with God.
Stay blessed! 3 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Cohabitation: A Deadly Trend In Nigeria Tertiary Institutions by Nobody: 8:01am On Oct 02, 2015 |
vizkiz: My brother the choir will give him audience the niqqa is talking Jesus to Fulani herdsmen 2 Likes |
Re: Cohabitation: A Deadly Trend In Nigeria Tertiary Institutions by Kingsley1000(m): 8:05am On Oct 02, 2015 |
AbuMikey:lame! so those cohabiting don't have sex? |
Re: Cohabitation: A Deadly Trend In Nigeria Tertiary Institutions by Elzends(m): 8:07am On Oct 02, 2015 |
Coming back wen this makes fp 1 Like |
Re: Cohabitation: A Deadly Trend In Nigeria Tertiary Institutions by Kingsley1000(m): 8:08am On Oct 02, 2015 |
Yungwizzzy:you are clamouring"bokoharam bring back our girls ".........you that re cohabiting, you ain't different from them |
Re: Cohabitation: A Deadly Trend In Nigeria Tertiary Institutions by jmoore(m): 8:12am On Oct 02, 2015 |
No paragragh, I can't read that. |
Re: Cohabitation: A Deadly Trend In Nigeria Tertiary Institutions by Kingsley1000(m): 8:14am On Oct 02, 2015 |
jmoore:then use the topic to comment |
Re: Cohabitation: A Deadly Trend In Nigeria Tertiary Institutions by Fozi(m): 8:28am On Oct 02, 2015 |
Those day of being a student,Cohabitation sweet my guy if you no been dey cohabit you go dey jealous people on code dey form say e no go. Benefits na the small one I know be this oh ; 1.You guyz share domestic chores together 2.Your pain is her pain 3. Plan your budget together. 4. Your friends are her friends In fact I no fit talk to much e be like marriage and e make sense for those who love am. @ You OP Only The Weak Complain of Injustice. Because you didn't have the opportunity you criticise it 1 Like |
Re: Cohabitation: A Deadly Trend In Nigeria Tertiary Institutions by Nobody: 8:33am On Oct 02, 2015 |
Kingsley1000: How? we kill anybody? abi is it illegal in the constitution? make una see mumu oo |
Re: Cohabitation: A Deadly Trend In Nigeria Tertiary Institutions by Kingsley1000(m): 8:37am On Oct 02, 2015 |
Fozi:INTERESTING! WHO PAYS THE HOUSE RENT AND OTHER EXPENSES IN THE HOUSE,IS THERE A MUTUAL CONTRIBUTION?AND HOW DO U GUYS COPE WITH STUDIES? |
Re: Cohabitation: A Deadly Trend In Nigeria Tertiary Institutions by misspicy(f): 8:38am On Oct 02, 2015 |
Cohabiting in school.is bad abi,buh what of cohabiting after school Yes it is bad,buh if nobody is complaining between the two parties involved,i dont see the problem there,we are all adult n are able to make decisions Btw kossyablaze,thank you for the encouragement,why not create a thread with it 1 Like |
Re: Cohabitation: A Deadly Trend In Nigeria Tertiary Institutions by Kingsley1000(m): 8:44am On Oct 02, 2015 |
Yungwizzzy:buh it's socially unaccepted and ridiculous,as a student,the meagre hand out(money)your parents give u to take care of ursef,you use it to cater for r/ship at the detriment of ur academics.......haven't seen a student that cohabited that came out with a fabulous result |
Re: Cohabitation: A Deadly Trend In Nigeria Tertiary Institutions by kossyablaze(m): 8:55am On Oct 02, 2015 |
misspicy:ok hon 3 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Cohabitation: A Deadly Trend In Nigeria Tertiary Institutions by chomytex(f): 9:15am On Oct 02, 2015 |
Jeez! See long epistle...no paragraph...the funny part is that the whole le boo and la bae stuffs ends as soon as they graduate...nt long ago,a male frnd of mine asked me where i stay,i told him i stay in school hostel..he was suprised(reasons best known to him),like play,like play this guy started persuading me to come and stay with him..and i was like;look at this one oh,as wetin nah...lol. |
Re: Cohabitation: A Deadly Trend In Nigeria Tertiary Institutions by Fozi(m): 9:15am On Oct 02, 2015 |
Kingsley1000:Nice questions . in some cases the both may decide to pay rents or one among the both may shoulder. With regards to study you guys attend the same school and fix goals for each other,go to school to read together. Due to living together you begin to see yourselves as brothers and sisters. with regards to bill you guys among yourselves would know how to deal with light bills,water bills etc . However those who participate in this feel the taste of marriage and would know how to cope and tolerate each other 1 Like |
Re: Cohabitation: A Deadly Trend In Nigeria Tertiary Institutions by Kingsley1000(m): 10:02am On Oct 02, 2015 |
chomytex:see what you'v missed,the young man wants to take care of you,take you to a serene and condusive environment to live amid the privacy u're going to enjoy,,,why did you decline? |
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