cococandy:
Mizmycoli pls stop explaining.
You can't physically open someone's head and put sense in there.
The message is clear.
And it in no way says marriage is bad or that ladies shouldn't desire it. Not even in the least.

If anyone reads the write up and sees it as advocating for women not to marry, so be it. There's nothing you can for such a dumb person.
Why try?

Nne Lekwanum ooo
I kuku left the thread for them.
I seriously thank heavens I don't have a large circle of friends.
Is this the kind of mumbo-jumbo they will be filling my ears with?
Such unrepentant egotistic insecurity!

Okay, let's take Sister Philomina as an example (permit me to explain one last time, Coco...I just have this urge to)
No man dey look her face at the mo. She really doesn't have anyone who fills her ear with "I love you"
She is 29 going on 30

Wait, is she supposed to cry her eyes out always in her closet and envy married folks like Coco.
Even if she desires marriage and a life-long partnership, should she always carry it like HIV/AIDS in her handbag mind that she is an incomplete and incapable woman who is only worth any penny should a man knock on her father's bamboo door, thereby stopping her from seeking higher grounds and ideals, dreaming, attaching herself to worthy causes, and Just being?.

LMAO
Make I stop here abeg.
I cast and bind all spirits of epistle following me around on this thread.

kosplateau:

I thought it means equality in everything. Go dutch on a diner...women feel hurt. They teach u how to make a home ...and guys how to build a house.. make money...now, they teach u how to make money too and guys how to do chores... all in addition. So what's d fuss?

MizMyColi:


Nne Lekwanum ooo
I kuku left the thread for them.
I seriously thank heavens I don't have a large circle of friends.
Is this the kind of mumbo-jumbo they will be filling my ears with?
Such unrepentant egotistic insecurity!

Okay, let's take Sister Philomina as an example (permit me to explain one last time, Coco...I just have this urge to)
No man dey look her face at the mo. She really doesn't have anyone who fills her ear with "I love you"
She is 29 going on 30

Wait, is she supposed to cry her eyes out always in her closet and envy married folks like Coco.
Even if she desires marriage and a life-long partnership, should she always carry it like HIV/AIDS in her handbag mind that she is an incomplete and incapable woman who is only worth any penny should a man knock on her father's bamboo door, thereby stopping her from seeking higher grounds and ideals, dreaming, attaching herself to worthy causes, and Just being?.

LMAO
Make I stop here abeg.
I cast and bind all spirits of epistle following me around on this thread.

dicefrost:



Unfortunately miss, you can't change that which has been indoctrinated and embedded. The ultimate ambition of almost every girl i know is to get married. In my final year in school, every girl i know wants to get married immediately after service. Outside house keeping, make up, and movies they know nothing else. I wont say they are dull, but their orientation, awareness and perception is so narrow. The only thing that borders them is how to find a man to marry. Its unfortunate, really really unfortunate but you can't change it, that is how a Nigerian girl child is brought up. Appreciate your effort though.

Tallesty1:







Lols. I modified my comment to add that part when I saw someone's comment here.


I am just looking for her trouble this afternoon

Tallesty1:
A Lady after reading this:



Lady: Oh, I love this. Thanks MizMyColi, I just wish our ladies will learn.

Then she receives a message from boo.

Boo: Are you free? Let's hang out.

Lady: Oh! I love this. Thanks boo.


So she goes out with boo, straffs him all night and everything she read wipes out automatically.


And everything still remains thesame.




BTW, the op failed to realize that marriage increases a man's or a woman's worth too. I don't care who you are or what you have achieved, if you are single then you are incomplete.


And What's with people and their recent attack on marriage btw? Is marriage the only institution that is failing?

Nothing on earth is better than a blessed marriage, it's an achievement on its own, the reason most fail is is our sin.

It is sin that will make a man to hit his woman. It is sin that will make a man see a woman as a lesser being, it's sin that will make a man to cheat on, beat or mistreat his woman in any way. Same thing goes for the woman.


Listen, if we all should repent and follow God's guidelines for marriage then believe you me that marriage will become the best thing on earth.

You have a beautiful way of sharing rich ideas with stories. Love that! Following You immediately

ronald4lif:


Rightly said. The OP write up is faultless. In Nigeria, the message every parent and the society passes across to their daughters is how to become good wives, submissive and obey everything a man says whether right or wrong. Hardly do they train their sons to be good husbands and how to treat a woman fairly . When a couple are having feud and the wife narrates her ordeal to her family or in-laws the advise she get is to apologise to her husband. They say things like don't you know she's the man regardless of if the man is at fault. This is wrong.

IsaacBuchi:




You have a beautiful way of sharing rich ideas with stories. Love that! Following You immediately

dicefrost:



Unfortunately miss, you can't change that which has been indoctrinated and embedded. The ultimate ambition of almost every girl i know is to get married. In my final year in school, every girl i know wants to get married immediately after service. Outside house keeping, make up, and movies they know nothing else. I wont say they are dull, but their orientation, awareness and perception is so narrow. The only thing that borders them is how to find a man to marry. Its unfortunate, really really unfortunate but you can't change it, that is how a Nigerian girl child is brought up. Appreciate your effort though.

Hahahahahhha
I used to be that girl too, whose ultimate ambition was to serve my husband, with my blood sef if desperate times call for it.
But all that is changing now.
And my dear, impossible is nothing.

Do I still want to get married? No "still want" is Undermining...I DESIRE to get married.
Why? I want to form a lifelong partnership with someone who understands what it's like to be me. I want to build a home and kids who are replicas of their creator. I am aware that two heads are better than one. I want to be with someone whom I will share my completeness with, someone who understands that I am not lacking in any way. He helps me grow, I help him grow. I want to be the wife of someone who understands that CHRIST IN US IS OUR ONLY HOPE OF GLORY. Not woman in man or man in woman is our only hope of glory.
OR Man needing woman/Woman NEEDING MAN is our only hope of glory.

Now I believe that there is a right time for everything under the Sun.
Mine is happening now.

What about those who will not have their desires met till they are 30 going on 35?
Should they be miserable, desperados who have no iota of self anymore, other than a ring and a title?

Is it actually okay to live in the awareness that you are complete and you're not lacking in anyway even if you do not have a man to call your own?
What happened to your dreams?
Why did you jettison them?
Why lay it all down for a future you are not even sure of whem and how it will happen? Why? Why?

If it is marriage you desire, you will have it. It will come. Know the one in whom you have believed. If you do not desire marriage, forget the 1980s talk on this thread....don't force yourself to desire it. It is not compulsory. Fulfilling your inner purpose is what's compulsory.
Either ways, just be! learn to always be at a state of peace and rest.
Will there be times when you feel an aching for someone, for some intimate loving, yes.
But you cannot let that become your sole focus...you can't.
You are much more than that babe!
Carry on! Live, Please!
Feel free to walk away and disidentify from negative situations and negativity.

*Sighs* Sorry Dicefrost, most of what I typed up there isn't for you.
I can see these epistle spirits won't leave me.
lemme logout of NL first

cococandy:
Lol.

That's exactly what she's expected to do.
If she's not doing that, she's not massaging the egos and that's not acceptable by our culture.

Why else would sister philo (or Genevieve for example) post a picture online and the comments that follow query her for smiling at 30 when she's not married?

Bind the epistle spirit well well o

MizMyColi:


Nne Lekwanum ooo
I kuku left the thread for them.
I seriously thank heavens I don't have a large circle of friends.
Is this the kind of mumbo-jumbo they will be filling my ears with?
Such unrepentant egotistic insecurity!

Okay, let's take Sister Philomina as an example (permit me to explain one last time, Coco...I just have this urge to)
No man dey look her face at the mo. She really doesn't have anyone who fills her ear with "I love you"
She is 29 going on 30

Wait, is she supposed to cry her eyes out always in her closet and envy married folks like Coco.
Even if she desires marriage and a life-long partnership, should she always carry it like HIV/AIDS in her handbag mind that she is an incomplete and incapable woman who is only worth any penny should a man knock on her father's bamboo door, thereby stopping her from seeking higher grounds and ideals, dreaming, attaching herself to worthy causes, and Just being?.

LMAO
Make I stop here abeg.
I cast and bind all spirits of epistle following me around on this thread.

dearpreye:


To unlearn the wrong things we've learned and ate indoctrinated with for ages, is one of the most difficult things we could ever do.

There's more to life than the ring and a title.

MizMyColi:
This writeup is written by a Nigerian, especially for Nigerian Ladies.
Please understand that while I and the writer share this view, you are under no obligation to share.
If it does not resonate with you...please feel free to toss it out and shout like Orubebe did "WE WILL NOT TAKE THIS; THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE"
If it does resonate with you, please welcome like a breath of fresh air.


https://wordsmithf./2015/09/30/woman-you-are-more-than-a-ring-and-a-title/

Welcome Home

Beautiful Article.

Our mothers must be praised for the effort they have made yo raise us. The values, and culture they ve tried to transfer might sound archaic but not entirely out of place. Inspite of the civilization of more developed countries I would choose my African mothers any day any time over them.

The Holy Book at 1Cor 11:9 says " And what is more, man was not created for the sake of the woman, but woman for the sake of the man".

While that is true we also recognize that the beauty of a man is his family, the happiness of his wife & kids. As such he needs to learn from an early stage that his skills, his dreams and goals are also tied to realising the joy of his family directly or indirectly. (i.e if he wants to marry)

If a man or woman doesn't think of marrying he/she still realises that he he is affected in his judgment by the impression of people. Just like it is said, 'we dress because of others'.

MizMyColi:


That's what I was trying to communicate to Lilmax, dunno how well I did.
You don't just expect a thought process of 20 - 30 years to disappear in 5 years, how much more one day.

The difference between you and the girl next door is that you are better informed now.

nasha1:
Why do i have this impression of women consoling themselves once they reach 30.
You can't read such from men,only women like re-assuring their worth.They go on and on about how they are not defined by a ring or a man but once they reach their late 40,they become frustrated,snatching other people husband,having bastards everywhere.
A happy woman doesn't need to write long essay to show people that she is happy,it shows in her.This is what i call depression.

ronald4lif:


Rightly said. The OP write up is faultless. In Nigeria, the message every parent and the society passes across to their daughters is how to become good wives, submissive and obey everything a man says whether right or wrong. Hardly do they train their sons to be good husbands and how to treat a woman fairly. When a couple are having feud and the wife narrates her ordeal to her family or in-laws the advise she get is to apologise to her husband. They say things like don't you know she's the man regardless of if the man is at fault. This is wrong.

bukatyne:


I think you are mixing things up

Nobody has said marriage is bad.... at least not the OP; however, marriage is not the end, it is a means to an end.

Men desire to marry too but how many men are solely trained for marriage?

A woman is much more than a wife.

And the fact a woman knows herself does not mean she would not have relationships or a marriage.

IsaacBuchi:



Welcome Home

Beautiful Article.

Our mothers must be praised for the effort they have made yo raise us. The values, and culture they ve tried to transfer might sound archaic but not entirely out of place. Inspite of the civilization of more developed countries I would choose my African mothers any day any time over them.

The Holy Book at 1Cor 11:9 says " And what is more, man was not created for the sake of the woman, but woman for the sake of the man".

While that is true we also recognize that the beauty of a man is his family, the happiness of his wife & kids. As such he needs to learn from an early stage that his skills, his dreams and goals are also tied to realising the joy of his family directly or indirectly. (i.e if he wants to marry)

If a man or woman doesn't think of marrying he/she still realises that he he is affected in his judgment by the impression of people. Just like it is said, 'we dress because of others'.

Well, true than, to an extent......
Lol
And what if I contend that Pol section is home?

kelechiMarie:
the article was written by a male.

I think

Loooool
Tell Nasha1 o

vivaciousvivi:
MizMyColi, I know that a lot of people will refuse to read the sublime message from that write-up and may call it feminist and free-thinking or new-age (none of which I see anything wrong with btw).
To you I would say this, God bless u sister and brother!

Amem!

bukatyne:


Nice one

And for the life of me, I don not understand how women should have ambition = the OP is against marriage or feminist.

The OP has clearly stated she is NOT a feminist.

1trillionlikes:

you have to ask the OP if she believes in God and His words first..... I pity this generation and the ones to come

MizMyColi:


Well, true than, to an extent......
Lol
And what if I contend that Pol section is home?

IsaacBuchi:


Well I won't fight that....while might be true that you spend more time there, we can however equate that to the fact that people spend more of their life span in the office that the do for their homes & family & even in their own lives...everybody knows where home is at the end of the day

safarigirl:
I've never tried to get back at men for any reason. I don't beleive in faithful men, so I'm not peeved at cheating men. And I certainly don't beleive in scamming guys or even getting finances from them, I'm very paranoid about that

Tallesty1:

Though I have replied you before but I want you to understand something, for what it's worth.

A single man is incomplete unless he has the divinely bestowed gift of celibacy! The Bible teaches that celibacy is a special gift from God which is sometimes bestowed on a man or woman when the single status would permit him or her to be more effective in the service of Jesus Christ.

It's a special calling for a special purpose.

MizMyColi:

You Win!

Ummm...that feels good.

Thank You for spending your leave with us.

dicefrost:



Unfortunately miss, you can't change that which has been indoctrinated and embedded. [b]The ultimate ambition of almost every girl i know is to get married. In my final year in school, every girl i know wants to get married immediately after service. [/b]Outside house keeping, make up, and movies they know nothing else. I wont say they are dull, but their orientation, awareness and perception is so narrow. The only thing that borders them is how to find a man to marry. Its unfortunate, really really unfortunate but you can't change it, that is how a Nigerian girl child is brought up. Appreciate your effort though.

lonelydora:
"The beauty of a woman is her husband"......... So they taught me.

WEEK...... women's education ends in kitchen. So I heard in primary school. But my wife's own didn't end in kitchen though.

Proverbs 31......... told me something about being a virtuous woman. And verse 11 says "The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that He shall have no need of spoil"


I assume you are a christian, read it first and come back let's talk.

See Op, all these rich ladies are not happy they are not married. They cry in their secrets. Some of them confided in me and told me so. Ask Linda and Genevive, you think they don't want to be like Omotola?

peppyluv02:
I think MizMyColi was misunderstood.
Thank God you said,the ones you know not every woman. Even my older brother finds that disgusting. Back then in Madonna as a medical student,he said what surprises him about his class girls was the fact that their ultimate ambition is getting married and funny enough they end up with just any man! One who doesn't encourage them and gets easily intimidated. That is why many of them end up not practicing. Just to get a title..may Amadioha forbid that for me and the women in my generation. Marriage will come but our life purpose should go along with it.