http://www.premiumtimesng.com/features-and-interviews/187267-eight-annoying-questions-nigerian-airport-officials-ask-international-travellers.html


Travelling out of Nigeria can be herculean. Sometimes, not because you’ve got your documentation wrong, but the silly profiling officials at the airport try to make you go through at every desk. Everyone you meet turns himself into some sort of detective profiling you for drugs or terrorism, or just to strike a conversation upon which you would be asked to tip them. Because travellers are usually pressed for time, one tries to avoid confrontations that would cause delays on any counter. Workers at the Nnamdi Azikiwe International Airport in Abuja are particularly notorious for these, subjecting travellers to annoying profiling.

At the Abuja airport, there is no clear distinction of roles for officials. The attendant who would screen your bag asks you almost the same set of questions as the one who would screen your passport or frisk you before you enter the departure lounge. It appears it is every official’s job to collect information from the traveller.

Here are some of the most common silly questions I have been asked repeatedly, especially in Abuja. Most times, these attendants ask these question with a seriousness that instantly convinces you of the genuineness and the right to know. I really do not see the reason for most of these questions. I am usually amused when I hear some of them.


1. Where are you going to?
I suppose every traveller using the airport has a destination written on their ticket or other travel documents. If the final destination of a traveller has any use for airport attendants, why don’t they just go ahead and ask for tickets or boarding passes?
Sometimes you even get this question after you have handed in your travel documents. The funny thing with this question is that the officials asking do not intend to document the answers in any way; and if a traveller gives the wrong answer, they never bother to crosscheck. Maybe they ask so as to break the ice with you.

2. When are you coming back?
This question usually comes after you have provided a destination. The question makes me feel the asking officials either think I’m running away or are already missing my stay in Nigeria. How does when I am returning from my journey enhance national security or make the airport more efficient? What if I give a date and change my mind later?

3. What is in your bag? Let me see.

There are usually many things in a travellers bag. From clothing to accessories and gadgets. How do I start listing that there is a toothpaste, a bathing soap, a deodorant, cloths, charger, papers etc.? The annoying thing with this question is that after listing all you can remember is stacked in your bag, the asking official goes ahead to say “open it let me see.” Whenever I hear this question, I usually just drop my bag and open it. Security officials should just cut the chase and demand to see the content of my bag.

4. Are you on leave?

This is the most amusing question I have ever been asked. Really? How does my being on leave, or not, bother an airport official? I mean, I must say, this is the dumbest. After telling the guy who asked me that question, recently, I was not on leave, I asked to know how the answer helped his job. He instantly grew a stone face, evaded eye contacts and said he wouldn’t have asked if the question wasn’t necessary.

5. Who are you going to see?


Do travellers always have to be going to see someone? Can’t one just travel for fun or business or even to go chill? Sometimes I just want to answer: I am going to see my grandfather’s friend’s daughter’s maid who recently fell from the moon during a vacation. 6. Are you back? The confusion on my face most times when I get this question from an immigration or customs officer at airports is usually epic. Would the asker have seen me if I wasn’t back? Sometimes I just nod and move on.

6. Are you back?

The confusion on my face most times when I get this question from an immigration or customs officer at airports is usually epic. Would the asker have seen me if I wasn’t back? Sometimes I just nod and move on.

7. How much are you travelling with?


This question is particularly asked with mischief in mind. To be clear, only the Customs officials at the airport are entitled to know how much money you have on you. And for that, a form is always provided. First time travellers usually fall victim of this question. An attendant asking this question usually intends to convince the victim it is illegal to travel with the amount declared, with a promise to let it pass if a tip is paid. Meanwhile, unless you are smuggling cash (and ordinary traveller’s rarely do), most people travel with credit cards. The irony is that the people who smuggle cash are never asked questions, they get VIP pass. It is difficult to connect the dots between how funded you are for trip and the optimal performance of the airport.

8. Where do you work?

This one, you must surely hear several times if you use the Nnamdi Azikiwe International Airport in Abuja. It is almost like the go-to question for attendants. When I hear this question, often I wonder “are there offices whose employees are not allowed to leave the country?” Or has the law blacklisted employees of some companies from travelling? Your answer to this question is usually followed by “show me you ID card.” I once asked an attendant who claimed to be working for the drug law enforcement agency why this mattered to them, and he said drug traffickers would be inconsistent. I perceived his answer as lame. Anyone can claim an office and forge its ID. What if a traveller is unemployed? Would you stop her?




Have you been profiled in any airport across the world? Share your experience


cc: justwise ,lalasticlala, bigfrancis21, seun ,disguy.samhay

They will only ask these question if you are traveling with a virgin passport. Once they see your passport with many stamps, the question will reduce..

Two months ago, one guy in the airport was trying to play me but I didn't say anything. Where to? Who are you going with? What's in your bag? Are you a student or worker ? ( he then stretch his hand demanding for my passport, when he opened it, he was like "eleyi ti pe loko o " meaning "this one don tey for farm o" facing his co workers ) I cant laugh because I pretended as if I didn't heard what he was saying . he just gave me my passport sharp sharp. I was like werey, shishi I know get

Reasons why u need to get to the airport atleast 2hrs before ur departure time.

Okk

1. Where are you going to?

To your father mother father's house!

2. When are you coming back?

When Jesus returns!

3. What is in your bag? Let me see.

Osogbo Weed!

4. Are you on leave?

Yh, I told you earlier. I'm on Oshogbo leaves!

5. Who are you going to see?

Biafran mosquitoes!

6. Are you back?

Do you smoke Oshogbo leaves too? How can you be asking me "are you back" When I'm not even gone!

7. How much are you travelling with?

Muri metá

Still hoping to be asked these questions,cos I've never been outta my nation b4

Anything for Us? That is their compulsory question

1. Where r u going to? I want to go and fry beans in US
2. When r u coming back? When the trumpet
sounds
3. What's in ur bag? My frying equipment and 50 Naira Nsukka Okpa to chop for plane
4. R u on leave: oga the only leave here Na d one wey them use wrap the okpa
Asking stupid questions for Africa

1... Sambisa Forest
2... I'm not coming back, I'm moving forward
3... Is it what's in my bag or you just want to see
4... No, we just resume for work
5... My crush of life
6... No, I'm front..
7... 1kobo
8... Nairaland

Op may your brain be bless the more






I almost misbehave the last time i was at MMIA last month when one idiot was asking me where am i going to and asking of my passport



Stuupid set of people full there

Naija

I returned to MMIA from the Uk in March and custom officer after checking my luggage asked me "Dont you have any leftover dollar with you", i just zip my bag and walked away.

Those guys are a disgrace to this nation

It depends on so many factors


Your dress sense always dress well then less question


If you are a guy shave



A girls make a good hair



Cut your nails and learn to snub in case they ask a stupid question.

That all important question "Wetin You Bring For Us?"

agarawu23:


They will only ask these question if you are traveling with a virgin passport. Once they see your passport with many stamps, the question will reduce..

Two months ago, one guy in the airport was trying to play me but I didn't say anything. Where to? Who are you going with? What's in your bag? Are you a student or worker ? ( he then stretch his hand demanding for my passport, when he opened it, he was like "eleyi ti pe loko o " meaning "this one don tey for farm o" facing his co workers ) I cant laugh because I pretended as if I didn't heard what he was saying . he just give me my passport sharp sharp. I was like werey, shishi I know get

You for embarrass them with #100 note

I'll just stash enough cash in my bag which i'll use to slap close any mouth thats opening to ask me an annoying question.

Teeboy22:
7. How much are you travelling with?


This question is particularly asked with mischief in mind. To be clear, only the Customs officials at the airport are entitled to know how much money you have on you. And for that, a form is always provided. First time travellers usually fall victim of this question. An attendant asking this question usually intends to convince the victim it is illegal to travel with the amount declared, with a promise to let it pass if a tip is paid. Meanwhile, unless you are smuggling cash (and ordinary traveller’s rarely do), most people travel with credit cards. The irony is that the people who smuggle cash are never asked questions, they get VIP pass. It is difficult to connect the dots between how funded you are for trip and the optimal performance of the airport.

Not true.

As a matter of fact,The NDLEA and immigration officials are entitled to ask this question.
Any person empowered to do a body search is entitled to ask this too.
Generally when travelling out you are unlikely to have contact with Customs officials most of the time

They once asked me the size of my dick

Feranmicharles:
Still hoping to be asked these questions,cos I've never been outta my nation b4

Same here.

At the right time and for the right reason, you will.

You could be living better here than some clowns there.

The aannoying thing is that, all uniformed personnel even fire brigade de form boss for airport

Teeboy22:
http://www.premiumtimesng.com/features-and-interviews/187267-eight-annoying-questions-nigerian-airport-officials-ask-international-travellers.html


Travelling out of Nigeria can be herculean. Sometimes, not because you’ve got your documentation wrong, but the silly profiling officials at the airport try to make you go through at every desk. Everyone you meet turns himself into some sort of detective profiling you for drugs or terrorism, or just to strike a conversation upon which you would be asked to tip them. Because travellers are usually pressed for time, one tries to avoid confrontations that would cause delays on any counter. Workers at the Nnamdi Azikiwe International Airport in Abuja are particularly notorious for these, subjecting travellers to annoying profiling.

At the Abuja airport, there is no clear distinction of roles for officials. The attendant who would screen your bag asks you almost the same set of questions as the one who would screen your passport or frisk you before you enter the departure lounge. It appears it is every official’s job to collect information from the traveller.

Here are some of the most common silly questions I have been asked repeatedly, especially in Abuja. Most times, these attendants ask these question with a seriousness that instantly convinces you of the genuineness and the right to know. I really do not see the reason for most of these questions. I am usually amused when I hear some of them.


1. Where are you going to?
I suppose every traveller using the airport has a destination written on their ticket or other travel documents. If the final destination of a traveller has any use for airport attendants, why don’t they just go ahead and ask for tickets or boarding passes?
Sometimes you even get this question after you have handed in your travel documents. The funny thing with this question is that the officials asking do not intend to document the answers in any way; and if a traveller gives the wrong answer, they never bother to crosscheck. Maybe they ask so as to break the ice with you.

This the worst I hate..I have confronted one at the airport ..one daft custom man collected my passport he looked at it and asked me where am I coming from.? I looked at him in a sarcastic manner and I told him ...oga you are with my passport and you are seeing you the visa and exit stamp of the country and you still ask me this question


He then ask if I had chocolate for him....I just told him is for my kids


It can be irritating

I wait for them again next week

All they after is just money... Imagine one fool asking me if I had exhibits in my garri while he kept deeping his dirty fingers into the garri, MMIA is pure joke imagine having to pay 1000 to get your Ghana must go wrapped with Sellotape... When ever I miss naija so much I just come on nairaland to laugh for hours and return back to my normal day.

Hopefully naija will be great again