Good day my people,
my wife gave birth to my first child 4minths ago,before then we dated for about 3years but on distance relationship.
now she came to spend Holiday with me with my baby.
she do receive strange calls, i warned her about some numbers i do see on her phone, though the guy is her toaster while we were dating then. i asked her to delete the number, unknowingly they still talk on phone wen am not around.
A guy called yesterday and she was receiving the call though she is not speaking comfortably but responding with okay, ehn, hunmm, i heard etc. so i collected the phone and asked who is speaking, the guy responded with his name, i said do u know she is married, the guy later apologise and i cut the phone and talk sense into my wife head, later the guy called to asked her if am angry and she said no. my wife now keeps malice with me and did not even talk with me.
this night, the number i asked her to delete called but i didn't pick it, after 2minuted i called back and he refused ti pick nor call back, am planning to call the guy with my personal line to know who he is and whats between him and my wife. please kindly advice me. thanks

According to your story Sir
your wife isn't staying with you
She comes for visit
First Thing check the baby's DNA

Perhaps you should start by doing a DNA test. Some long distant relationships only produce "long distance babies".

You also didn't need to yank the phone off her.The best way to be sure you're not mistaken is to give her a lot of freedom...

Women are smarter than men when it comes to cheating so you need to up your game.The fact that she still relates with an admirer even after marriage means all is not well.

Are you sure she loves you? Your marriage is too young to be experiencing this emotional trauma. This is not time to quarrel or fight, but time to have a real heart to heart discussion with her. If she doesn't love you, let her follow her heart. Life is too short to continue in a relationship that keeps draining joy from somebody. I think you deserved to be loved truly!
If you are sure she still loves you, you may have to beef up your romantic game with her. Woman are emotional beings, and we like to be cuddled and treated as new found love. You also need to close the long distance in your marriage.

theunusualmoon:
Perhaps you should start by doing a DNA test. Some long distant relationships only produce "long distance babies".

You also didn't need to yank the phone off her.The best way to be sure you're not mistaken is to give her a lot of freedom...

Women are smarter than men when it comes to cheating so you need to up your game.The fact that she still relates with an admirer even after marriage means all is not well.

for the baby, everytime i do ask her uf am d owber and she always swear that an the owner.
i do create time for her, anytime i went out i will make sure i buy those things she live for her, always caressing her, touch her and play with her, so i dont knw why she is doing this. and a friend suggest i call her mom and tel her but i dont know if that is the best way

@ope30
Correct bros! I like the way you went straight to the point! Your wife should realise that there are some things you wont tolerate.

Having said so, you should apply a little tact else your wife will start doing things behind your back(like receiving the unknown calls even when u told her to delete it) . Talk to her instead and ask what the relationship is between her and the strange numbers. Since it was a long distance relationship initially it is logical she might have picked up a few male friends while u were away. It will take some time before they realise her status and reduce the calling. I'm not sure it's a good idea to confront the man directly. Your wife might feel highly insulted that you are attacking he friend. But in case you confront him be civil about it. And come back and let us know ow how it went

ope30:

for the baby, everytime i do ask her uf am d owber and she always swear that an the owner.

Ah.
If you are asking her everytime if the baby is yours then it means you don't trust her? Doesnt the baby look like you? If you don't trust he this much then why did you marry her? Na wa o.

Abeg do the DNA test then and stop asking such questions. If it is your child and you genuinely love her then forget about anything that happened in the past and start trusting her. What's the reason for the long distance? Can't u bring her to stay with you. Kindly do so and both of you enjoy your marriage instead of all this distrust that will simply lead to an unhappy union. Life is short o, enjoy your marriage!

nikenry:
Are you sure she loves you? Your marriage is too young to be experiencing this emotional trauma. This is not time to quarrel or fight, but time to have a real heart to heart discussion with her. If she doesn't love you, let her follow her heart. Life is too short to continue in a relationship that keeps draining joy from somebody. I think you deserved to be loved truly!
If you are sure she still loves you, you may have to beef up your romantic game with her. Woman are emotional beings, and we like to be cuddled and treated as new found love. You also need to close the long distance in your marriage.

heart to heart talk my foot!He should just send her packing joor,still talking with an admirer even after marriage is not a good sign,above all she keep malice with the hubby because of an outsider,as for me I will just divorce her and reject the baby too...let her go and marry that guy. Some men sha.Rubbish.

There's a song our Sunday school teacher used to teach us back in the days as kids

prayer is the key prayer is the key prayer is the masters key,
Jesus started with prayer and ended with prayer, prayer is the masters key

they say in every situation we should pray.that was what our pastors and society preached to women when they're having a turbulent marriage. So I'm redirecting that line to you to help you

next

Your wife isn't even sorry for her behaviour, rather she's keeping malice with you.. chaii, I really feel for you op..

Why don't you settle things with your wife instead of confronting the guy?

Then, why isn't your wife staying with you? Is the situation unavoidable? If not, please make provisions to start staying together. . Long distance marriage isn't advisable. .

All d best, just calm down....

Those men calling may actually be her friends but as a married woman she needs to be more open about her friendships with the opposite sex if she is truly innocent. Stop being aggressive about it, as this will make her even more secretive. You need to sit her down and talk to her, if she doesn't change, involve her parents, or anyone else she respects.

MarvellousGod:
Your wife isn't even sorry for her behaviour, rather she's keeping malice with you.. chaii, I really feel for you op..

Why don't you settle things with your wife instead of confronting the guy?

Then, why isn't your wife staying with you? Is the situation unavoidable? If not, please make provisions to start staying together. . Long distance marriage isn't advisable. .

All d best, just calm down....

she is in her final year, till she finished school before she can come n live with me permanently, i do talk to her, asked her if she love me and she always says yes, den stop all these, she wil promise to stop, am having greats headache, as per DNA don't know how to do dar n d cist i heard us huge. tnx all

First thing first, go n do a DNA test. Even if the baby is not yours, do you expect her to tell you that?

tnx all, i have report her to my parent and they have talk to her and asked me to change her sim. that if after that she dudnt stop, she will have to go bak to her parent.

ope30:
tnx all, i have report her to my parent and they have talk to her and asked me to change her sim. that if after that she dudnt stop, she will have to go bak to her parent.

Bad move. You should have reported her to her parents if you really wanted a third party opinion. You also shouldn't have forcefully taken the phone from her to speak with the guy. That is kinda low. You should be dealing with your wife and not the opportunistic tool. And the mumu still called back to ask if you were angry. . . SMH

Anyways, the deed is done. Time to go back to the drawing board.

ope30:

she is in her final year, till she finished school before she can come n live with me permanently, i do talk to her, asked her if she love me and she always says yes, den stop all these, she wil promise to stop, am having greats headache, as per DNA don't know how to do dar n d cist i heard us huge. tnx all

Ask your wife with all seriousness, if she still wants to remain married to you. You should not be begging your wife to stop such ridiculous act. You should sternly discuss it for the last time and demand (yes, demand) that she ceases or you take drastic actions. She knows you are soft and is taking you for granted. Such boldness. Keeping malice instead of being apologetic. Emotional blackmail much? Mstcheeww.

A suffocating silence is all you need.

ope30:
Good day my people,
my wife gave birth to my first child 4minths ago,before then we dated for about 3years but on distance relationship.
now she came to spend Holiday with me with my baby.
she do receive strange calls, i warned her about some numbers i do see on her phone, though the guy is her toaster while we were dating then. i asked her to delete the number, unknowingly they still talk on phone wen am not around.
A guy called yesterday and she was receiving the call though she is not speaking comfortably but responding with okay, ehn, hunmm, i heard etc. so i collected the phone and asked who is speaking, the guy responded with his name, i said do u know she is married, the guy later apologise and i cut the phone and talk sense into my wife head, later the guy called to asked her if am angry and she said no. my wife now keeps malice with me and did not even talk with me.
this night, the number i asked her to delete called but i didn't pick it, after 2minuted i called back and he refused ti pick nor call back, am planning to call the guy with my personal line to know who he is and whats between him and my wife. please kindly advice me. thanks

Ur first child indeed u could be in a deeper mess than u imagined.

Sambarry, you dey kolo o

Which kind marriage be the one wey wife dey come do holidays?

EggovinMma:
Sambarry, you dey kolo o

Which kind marriage be the one wey wife dey come do holidays?

I advised the op to pray.abi is prayer no longer the key

SAMBARRY:
There's a song our Sunday school teacher used to teach us back in the days as kids

prayer is the key prayer is the key prayer is the masters key,
Jesus started with prayer and ended with prayer, prayer is the masters key

they say in every situation we should pray.that was what our pastors and society preached to women when they're having a turbulent marriage. So I'm redirecting that line to you to help you

next

U must be very silly! What has this got to do with the post? U want the op to keep praying while he fathers another man's child? Any honest person would advise the op to go for DNA after reading his post. I'm pretty sure u're a woman.

@ ope30 pls go for DNA test. It's obvious she is cheating on u, why would she get sullen for asking her to delete a man's number? Funny enough she only came for a visit & she can't even compose herself, abeg go do DNA...

ope30:

she is in her final year, till she finished school before she can come n live with me permanently, i do talk to her, asked her if she love me and she always says yes, den stop all these, she wil promise to stop, am having greats headache, as per DNA don't know how to do dar n d cist i heard us huge. tnx all

@ope, pls don't destroy your young marriage with your own hands due to unecessary insecurities.

Marriage does not translate to bondage for your wife just because she is now married to you. Have you stopped communicating with every girl you knew since you got married to her?

You can't run your home with all these insecurities, it will kill your marriage even before it starts.

Your wife is a student and she will definitely have male friends. Some of these male students who find her attractive, either because of age or immaturity will find it difficult to understand why they should give her space as a married woman.

The solution is not to start "talking sense to your wife" or "deleting her friends's nos" or "reporting her to your parents". You have taken every wrong step in solving this problem and the result is that your wife now resent you. Who wouldn't resent you with all these draconian rules?

Do you know how embarrassing it will be for her when she gets back to school and word spreads round that she is married to a dictator or she has become a slave in her husband's house? How would you feel if you are the one?

Your marriage is still young, if you didn't trust her, why did you marry her?
Your marrying her meant you trusted her, so please cut her some slacks. As long as you can establish that nothing is going on between herself and the guys, then let her be and if you find it too uncomfortable, tell her and she will know how to discharge the friends. It is not your duty.

Kimoni:


@ope, pls don't destroy your young marriage with your own hands due to unecessary insecurities.

Marriage does not translate to bondage for your wife just because she is now married to you. Have you stopped communicating with every girl you knew since you got married to her?

You can't run your home with all these insecurities, it will kill your marriage even before it starts.

Your wife is a student and she will definitely have male friends. Some of these male students who find her attractive, either because of age or immaturity will find it difficult to understand why they should give her space as a married woman.

The solution is not to start "talking sense to your wife" or "deleting her friends's nos" or "reporting her to your parents". You have taken every wrong step in solving this problem and the result is that your wife now resent you. Who wouldn't resent you with all these draconian rules?

Do you know how embarrassing it will be for her when she gets back to school and word spreads round that she is married to a dictator or she has become a slave in her husband's house? How would you feel if you are the one?

Your marriage is still young, if you didn't trust her, why did you marry her?
Your marrying her meant you trusted her, so please cut her some slacks. As long as you can establish that nothing is going on between herself and the guys, then let her be and if you find it too uncomfortable, tell her and she will know how to discharge the friends. It is not your duty.

honestly I love this!!

Kimoni:


@ope, pls don't destroy your young marriage with your own hands due to unecessary insecurities.

Marriage does not translate to bondage for your wife just because she is now married to you. Have you stopped communicating with every girl you knew since you got married to her?

You can't run your home with all these insecurities, it will kill your marriage even before it starts.

Your wife is a student and she will definitely have male friends. Some of these male students who find her attractive, either because of age or immaturity will find it difficult to understand why they should give her space as a married woman.

The solution is not to start "talking sense to your wife" or "deleting her friends's nos" or "reporting her to your parents". You have taken every wrong step in solving this problem and the result is that your wife now resent you. Who wouldn't resent you with all these draconian rules?

Do you know how embarrassing it will be for her when she gets back to school and word spreads round that she is married to a dictator or she has become a slave in her husband's house? How would you feel if you are the one?

Your marriage is still young, if you didn't trust her, why did you marry her?
Your marrying her meant you trusted her, so please cut her some slacks. As long as you can establish that nothing is going on between herself and the guys, then let her be and if you find it too uncomfortable, tell her and she will know how to discharge the friends. It is not your duty.

@ bolded, that's where the problem lies... how can he establish that nothing is going on when the woman receives calls when he's away.. What's she hiding? To think that man is someone that has wooed her right from when they were courting makes it worse.. What's so big in telling a 'toaster' off? Why has she maintained the relationship all along? There's a difference btw friends (colleagues, course mates) and an admirer. . We all know most admirers seek romantic relationships. . The woman is even married now, why can't the guy just keep off?

I have male friends but I'm open about the friendships.. my husband knows I keep them and is comfortable with them .. Op isn't comfortable with the relationship, why is the woman finding it hard to discharge them? Does she value the friendship more than her husband?

This has nothing to do with trust please. .. Nothing will be happy if their partner receives calls from an admirer everyday... ..

However, I don't support the op confronting the guy... he should sort it out with his wife...

You better don't die on top of another person's matter. You have your own problems like any other person yet you carry another person matter for head

come to think of it are you an anti prayer person? If you don't like prayers me I like

drop your post without getting provocative and move on. Shikena abi fight dey hungry you this morning?

johnson232:

U must be very silly! What has this got to do with the post? U want the op to keep praying while he fathers another man's child? Any honest person would advise the op to go for DNA after reading his post. I'm pretty sure u're a woman.

@ ope30 pls go for DNA test. It's obvious she is cheating on u, why would she get sullen for asking her to delete a man's number? Funny enough she only came for a visit & she can't even compose herself, abeg go do DNA...

Take 5.

You deserve a bottle of mirinda

Kimoni:


@ope, pls don't destroy your young marriage with your own hands due to unecessary insecurities.

Marriage does not translate to bondage for your wife just because she is now married to you. Have you stopped communicating with every girl you knew since you got married to her?

You can't run your home with all these insecurities, it will kill your marriage even before it starts.

Your wife is a student and she will definitely have male friends. Some of these male students who find her attractive, either because of age or immaturity will find it difficult to understand why they should give her space as a married woman.

The solution is not to start "talking sense to your wife" or "deleting her friends's nos" or "reporting her to your parents". You have taken every wrong step in solving this problem and the result is that your wife now resent you. Who wouldn't resent you with all these draconian rules?

Do you know how embarrassing it will be for her when she gets back to school and word spreads round that she is married to a dictator or she has become a slave in her husband's house? How would you feel if you are the one?

Your marriage is still young, if you didn't trust her, why did you marry her?
Your marrying her meant you trusted her, so please cut her some slacks. As long as you can establish that nothing is going on between herself and the guys, then let her be and if you find it too uncomfortable, tell her and she will know how to discharge the friends. It is not your duty.

MarvellousGod:
@ bolded, that's where the problem lies... how can he establish that nothing is going on when the woman receives calls when he's away.. What's she hiding? To think that man is someone that has wooed her right from when they were courting makes it worse.. What's so big in telling a 'toaster' off? Why has she maintained the relationship all along? There's a difference btw friends (colleagues, course mates) and an admirer. . We all know most admirers seek romantic relationships. . The woman is even married now, why can't the guy just keep off?

I have male friends but I'm open about the friendships.. my husband knows I keep them and is comfortable with them .. Op isn't comfortable with the relationship, why is the woman finding it hard to discharge them? Does she value the friendship more than her husband?

This has nothing to do with trust please. .. Nothing will be happy if their partner receives calls from an admirer everyday... ..

However, I don't support the op confronting the guy... he should sort it out with his wife...

If this is not about trust, then I really don't know what it is. Your husband is comfortable with your male friends because he trust you, the OP needs to also get to that stage where he is not bothered about his wife's male callers especially when she has not given him any previous reason to doubt her. Is it a crime for her to tell him about her toasters?

Is the toaster still asking the wife out? Even after realizing she is married? Is that the impression the OP got from speaking with him? I didnt see that. He duly apologized and dropped the phone, even enquiring after to know of the OP is still angry. Does that sound like someone who wants to bed the OP's wife at all cost?

A guy asking you out before you got married does not mean that he is still going to be interested in you after marriage. I don't want to believe that is always or even mostly the case. Especially when they are course mates...not every male out there is a pervert.

Guy u dey try oo. Hmmm dem never born dat woman wey go try such rubbish with me. I'm not advicing u to beat ur wife but if na me, aahh, she go collect beat naa. better one. Distant relationship is very close to cheating. from all u have said, in my own singular perception, I smell unfaithfulness from ur wife. the Handwriting is boldly /clearly and obviously written on the wall. Report to her family and let ur ppl know. But in order not to father anoda mans pikin, Bros go for DNA test of the one she Don born for u. #Irestmycase

Kimoni:


@ope, pls don't destroy your young marriage with your own hands due to unecessary insecurities.

Marriage does not translate to bondage for your wife just because she is now married to you. Have you stopped communicating with every girl you knew since you got married to her?

You can't run your home with all these insecurities, it will kill your marriage even before it starts.

Your wife is a student and she will definitely have male friends. Some of these male students who find her attractive, either because of age or immaturity will find it difficult to understand why they should give her space as a married woman.

The solution is not to start "talking sense to your wife" or "deleting her friends's nos" or "reporting her to your parents". You have taken every wrong step in solving this problem and the result is that your wife now resent you. Who wouldn't resent you with all these draconian rules?

Do you know how embarrassing it will be for her when she gets back to school and word spreads round that she is married to a dictator or she has become a slave in her husband's house? How would you feel if you are the one?

Your marriage is still young, if you didn't trust her, why did you marry her?
Your marrying her meant you trusted her, so please cut her some slacks. As long as you can establish that nothing is going on between herself and the guys, then let her be and if you find it too uncomfortable, tell her and she will know how to discharge the friends. It is not your duty.

sorry I don't mean to insult, but u just talked as if ur not into the game. some married gals on campus still sleeps around with their so called exboifrnd and it's nothing to them. A stitch in time saves more Dan nine nowadays. u don't trust someone wen the person plays some suspicious rough plays. Yes u don't look into everything ur wife does, but I tell u not in dis aspect. his wife isn't honouring the man. the fact remain that the wife's way on campus with men isn't pure

I am 95% sure that your wife is cheating and 5% unsure.

Kimoni:


@ope, pls don't destroy your young marriage with your own hands due to unecessary insecurities.

Marriage does not translate to bondage for your wife just because she is now married to you. Have you stopped communicating with every girl you knew since you got married to her?

You can't run your home with all these insecurities, it will kill your marriage even before it starts.

Your wife is a student and she will definitely have male friends. Some of these male students who find her attractive, either because of age or immaturity will find it difficult to understand why they should give her space as a married woman.

The solution is not to start "talking sense to your wife" or "deleting her friends's nos" or "reporting her to your parents". You have taken every wrong step in solving this problem and the result is that your wife now resent you. Who wouldn't resent you with all these draconian rules?

Do you know how embarrassing it will be for her when she gets back to school and word spreads round that she is married to a dictator or she has become a slave in her husband's house? How would you feel if you are the one?

Your marriage is still young, if you didn't trust her, why did you marry her?
Your marrying her meant you trusted her, so please cut her some slacks. As long as you can establish that nothing is going on between herself and the guys, then let her be and if you find it too uncomfortable, tell her and she will know how to discharge the friends. It is not your duty.

you've said it all. if u go through the guys profile you 'll find out d relationship was already having some 'ish from the start.