This is why men die before men. You have been angry since day before yesterday, till now you are still angry yet your wife at the center of all this is balling and having the time of her life with different men. For how long will you continue to be angry and wreck yourself emotionally?

First thing is to take charge of your mind and take charge of your health. As much as she is your wife, you shouldn't develop High blood Pressure over an issue that is making is doing the opposite to her. For what naa? She is now totally in charge of your happiness?? She can lock and unlock ur emotions at will? Please work on yourself. Nobody will do that for you.

If you are truly tired of this attitude and you can't ignore it, then do something about it. Take action and stop allowing her to treat you like an idiot that you are gradually turning out to be. See how you are being lied to over and over again , deleting numbers everyday, calling guys you don't know to keep away from your wife like a poster asked, are you a weakling? It's your home, please take charge of it!

Did you snatch her from this her ex maybe because you have more money?

I believe if she truly loves you she won't be communicating with her ex to this extent. She might have married you because of circumstances.

ryut:
I have asked her after the marriage and on many other occasions when i started observing such communications if she and the man made any 'covenant'. she said no.What actually annoyed me most since two days ago till now was first,i can recall vividly after the marriage i started noticing such to the extent that i have to call the man on phone then and explain to him the need to stop these communications since she is now married,the man was sounding harsh and said that 'i will still see',till today i don't know what he mean by that statement,when i then changed her sim card.I sat my wife down severally times that ex boy or girl communication in marriage destroys marriage,that there is no gain on it and that the very time we got married,i and my ex cut off permanently that till date neither she nor i didnt call each other and dont even know where any of us are,not that if she or i want to trace the contact of each other that we wont find it,but it does more harm than good in marriage.Recently when i saw their whatspp chat and what they are chatting there and phone communication,i cautioned her that i have been warning her about this her ex and she still keep on communicating him,that i dont want to see such again unless she will pack her things and go and stay with the man,or go back to his family house.The irony of it is that she is even the one that initiates communications-both on chat and phone call.I deleted the man number from her phone.But,I was shocked still seeing her calling the man few days ago and the man also calls her.That means they have still been communicating since then in my absence only that i happen by chance see this one.
Secondly,last time,there is one man still from their side as well,(pls i dont want to mention what happened),but i have to pick her phone and told her in my presence to send an sms to this man and told him"that she is cutting off the communication between them and whatever whatever",she text it and sent and i deleted the man number.Surprisingly,after like two weeks,i noticed that she called the man.She has to go the extent of sourcing for the man number again and give him a call.That day,not knowing that i knew that she called him,i asked her,since that time i told you to cut off the communication with that man,have you ever for one day called him again,She said "NOOOO,how can she do that,somebody she stopped communicating since then even the number was deleted that day and she doesnt have his number again".She lied and lied.I was so upset and nearly ran mad,when i then brought her phone and asked her who has this number and this call-the number was not saved with any name,she kept quiet and say,eeehmm,it was the man that called her,i told her that she is a liar and i opened the call log and showed her the outgoing call log she first made to the man,before the man later called her back.i was so annoyed,yet i let it go.
So the two above made me to even as i am typing this text,i am still very angry since day before yesterday,that after all my caution and warning to her having caught her by chance,she still ignore my warning and secretly communicating and thats what pained me most and i cant bear this again.

I can't stop wondering what on earth it is some women wants. can u imagine,maintaining close relationship with ex and and some oda random guys while married? op are you sure all is well? was she forced to marry you?didn't you take your time before jumping into marriage?y is she so weak to make decisions dat'll benefit her family? dia is more to this than meets the eye o. stop being too soft on her...i will suggest you report her to her parents without leaving a stone unturned. tell them to talk to her else you quit the marriage. give yourself some space,enjoy life and think less about her-when she sees you no longer gv a hoot abt her,she'll do everything possible to save her marriage*if she still want u* only the heavens knows what the wife of her so called ex wud be going thru too.

I am trying to choose my words carefully here

Women do not respect mushy wishy washy men . . .period!

Also is this how you mamage your home in other issues .. dilly dallying up and down here and there

How can you be having conversations with the Ex? to the point that he disrespects you? Are you a fish husband?

How can you be changing your wifes sim cards? is she a baby?

These are 2 adults who have decided to disrespect the marriage and should be treated like adults. If they refuse to be responsible, then let then bear the consequences as adults.

Call a family meeting and tell them all that you are not accepting this nonsense anymore period.

Who is the head here? They are not even hiding this from you.

Is she feeding you?

@OP....It is act of wickedness from your wife however it is quite obvious you re not in charge of your marriage .The moment someone is married what interaction with ex again?yet u re begging her and even changing Sim haba Your wife has gone far with sex covenant with the ex .Coming to Nairaland on this issues shows u re not in charge and your wife is enjoying sex with d guy. D way out ......1.Report her to parents with clear evidences 2.Talk to her in a harsh tone it seems u re too gentle and flexible 3.Pray pray pray ...Some behaviours/habit in marriage are not ordinary serious deliverance prayers may be needed .Some families are cursed not to enjoy marriage but rather endure it .

tearoses:
I am trying to choose my words carefully here

Women do not respect mushy wishy washy men . . .period!

Also is this how you mamage your home in other issues .. dilly dallying up and down here and there

How can you be having conversations with the Ex? to the point that he disrespects you? Are you a fish husband?

How can you be changing your wifes sim cards? is she a baby?

These are 2 adults who have decided to disrespect the marriage and should be treated like adults. If they refuse to be responsible, then let then bear the consequences as adults.

Call a family meeting and tell them all that you are not accepting this nonsense anymore period.

Who is the head here? They are not even hiding this from you.

Is she feeding you?

lol you dey vex gani easy sir

samtol4:
lol you dey vex gani easy sir

LOL @ sir

tearoses:

LOL @ sir

sorry Ma! Never knew u b she ...how are u doing

Ignatio:
Did you snatch her from this her ex maybe because you have more money?

I believe if she truly loves you she won't be communicating with her ex to this extent. She might have married you because of circumstances.

Is she a handbag?

Phema:


Is she a handbag?

lol

If you are really tired, what to do will come to you .

Hmm.

OP, firstly if you are a kind and gentle man, don't change. People are stupid to whom ever they decide to be stupid to and women do respect soft men (I married one sef).

It seems from the man's behaviour (the one you spoke to whom replied you harshly) your wife has given him ammunition to speak to you so badly. And your wife keeps calling and communicating with others is not the problem, it's the fact that she's willing to lie when you ask her to stop and explained it reasonably (I hope you did).

I'd tell your wife that she should please head back to her parent's home and you guys get a separation. Say it in a calm manner and don't get angry or get provoked. Call her parents to get her out if she refuses to leave. Don't let them attempt to settle the matter, as they are merely putting plaster over a deep wound.

Mind you, a separation is not a divorce. Let her go and decide what important to her and you need to think what's important to you. Make sure she doesn't return for 3 months (the first month she will beg in a false manner, manipulation, reporting all sorts about you to anyone who cares to listen, lots of tears, bible quoting and even a pastor will be asked to beg you. Expect this and say no and keep her away. 2nd month it will begin to dawn on her "this man is serious" and she will try calling you back. Ignore her. 3rd month of her being out of your life will induce panic in her).

If you can be very strong, I'd recommend this separation last for 6 months.

Once she's panicking and thinks it's all over for good, tell her you are willing to consider continuing the marriage if she on her own, cuts off all communications with everyone (I mean EVERYONE) in her life (no phones). And she has to make that guy who spoke rudely to you on the phone apologise to you. He must call you and apologise (if she refuses to, calmly tell her you're seeing another lady and a divorce takes a year after to finalise. Be very calm when you're saying this).

She must prove herself to you unless you have a right to value your peace of mind. If you do both fix this, you both have to work on your marriage to find out the root cause of all this.

Onegai:
Hmm.

OP, firstly if you are a kind and gentle man, don't change. People are stupid to whom ever they decide to be stupid to and women do respect soft men (I married one sef).

It seems from the man's behaviour (the one you spoke to whom replied you harshly) your wife has given him ammunition to speak to you so badly. And your wife keeps calling and communicating with others is not the problem, it's the fact that she's willing to lie when you ask her to stop and explained it reasonably (I hope you did).

I'd tell your wife that she should please head back to her parent's home and you guys get a separation. Say it in a calm manner and don't get angry or get provoked. Call her parents to get her out if she refuses to leave. Don't let them attempt to settle the matter, as they are merely putting plaster over a deep wound.

Mind you, a separation is not a divorce. Let her go and decide what important to her and you need to think what's important to you. Make sure she doesn't return for 3 months (the first month she will beg in a false manner, manipulation, reporting all sorts about you to anyone who cares to listen, lots of tears, bible quoting and even a pastor will be asked to beg you. Expect this and say no and keep her away. 2nd month it will begin to dawn on her "this man is serious" and she will try calling you back. Ignore her. 3rd month of her being out of your life will induce panic in her).

If you can be very strong, I'd recommend this separation last for 6 months.

Once she's panicking and thinks it's all over for good, tell her you are willing to consider continuing the marriage if she on her own, cuts off all communications with everyone (I mean EVERYONE) in her life (no phones). And she has to make that guy who spoke rudely to you on the phone apologise to you. He must call you and apologise (if she refuses to, calmly tell her you're seeing another lady and a divorce takes a year after to finalise. Be very calm when you're saying this).

She must prove herself to you unless you have a right to value your peace of mind. If you do both fix this, you both have to work on your marriage to find out the root cause of all this.

You are wicked

ryut:
I have asked her after the marriage and on many other occasions when i started observing such communications if she and the man made any 'covenant'. she said no.What actually annoyed me most since two days ago till now was first,i can recall vividly after the marriage i started noticing such to the extent that i have to call the man on phone then and explain to him the need to stop these communications since she is now married,the man was sounding harsh and said that 'i will still see',till today i don't know what he mean by that statement,when i then changed her sim card.I sat my wife down severally times that ex boy or girl communication in marriage destroys marriage,that there is no gain on it and that the very time we got married,i and my ex cut off permanently that till date neither she nor i didnt call each other and dont even know where any of us are,not that if she or i want to trace the contact of each other that we wont find it,but it does more harm than good in marriage.Recently when i saw their whatspp chat and what they are chatting there and phone communication,i cautioned her that i have been warning her about this her ex and she still keep on communicating him,that i dont want to see such again unless she will pack her things and go and stay with the man,or go back to his family house.The irony of it is that she is even the one that initiates communications-both on chat and phone call.I deleted the man number from her phone.But,I was shocked still seeing her calling the man few days ago and the man also calls her.That means they have still been communicating since then in my absence only that i happen by chance see this one.
Secondly,last time,there is one man still from their side as well,(pls i dont want to mention what happened),but i have to pick her phone and told her in my presence to send an sms to this man and told him"that she is cutting off the communication between them and whatever whatever",she text it and sent and i deleted the man number.Surprisingly,after like two weeks,i noticed that she called the man.She has to go the extent of sourcing for the man number again and give him a call.That day,not knowing that i knew that she called him,i asked her,since that time i told you to cut off the communication with that man,have you ever for one day called him again,She said "NOOOO,how can she do that,somebody she stopped communicating since then even the number was deleted that day and she doesnt have his number again".She lied and lied.I was so upset and nearly ran mad,when i then brought her phone and asked her who has this number and this call-the number was not saved with any name,she kept quiet and say,eeehmm,it was the man that called her,i told her that she is a liar and i opened the call log and showed her the outgoing call log she first made to the man,before the man later called her back.i was so annoyed,yet i let it go.
So the two above made me to even as i am typing this text,i am still very angry since day before yesterday,that after all my caution and warning to her having caught her by chance,she still ignore my warning and secretly communicating and thats what pained me most and i cant bear this again.

I am curious to know why you deleted the numbers from her phone because deleting it doesn't mean she doesn't have the number in her head or diary. I still remember my ex's number even though I haven't spoken to her in a long time.