I was thinking about the past, my experiences and that of those around me as it relates to relationship. Wow. Those days of hurt aren't cool at all.

When my cousin got cheated on by his then girlfriend, he was totally useless for a month. He could not drive his own car. Whenever we decided to walk the street, he would be staggering and sometimes fall inside the gutter (disorientation). His experiences weren't funny at all.
Mine? My heart was always beating fast that I won't be able to breathe well. Not cool.

Here are some of other people's experiences:
When I found pages of texts and phone calls between my ex and a woman he worked with it was like I was being gutted. I felt like my insides has been ripped from my body. I was crippled by pain for months, often crying in the shower until the water had long grown cold. I thought about suicide. I thought about running away. I thought about doing anything to stop hurting. It was, and still is, the most pain I have ever endured. – anonymous

What made this affair even more difficult was that my partner cheated with a man who was a mutual friend, and a co-worker of hers.-Anonymous

‎Two long-term relationships ended as a result of cheating. One was a sexual affair, the other was more deceptive. At first, the sexual affair was extremely painful. It was immediately clear that incident marked the relationship’s end. I suspected the emotional affair months before I discovered the truth. As a result of that betrayal, I developed trust issues, and anxiety and hyper-caution with new relationships. These feelings were stronger and lasted much longer than the pain I felt after the sexual affair. What made this affair even more difficult was that my partner cheated with a man who was a mutual friend, and a co-worker of hers. It is still painful to think about and serves as a reminder to be on alert. – Paul
I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t enough. I wondered what she had that I didn’t have and drove myself crazy comparing myself to her. I felt stupid for being so easily led and being so naive. –Anonymous

When I finally learned the truth, it was the darkest time of my life. I felt like a failure.
I eventually realized my wife had been cheating on me for years, with both men and women. We were together for 17 years, since we were 19, and I just couldn’t believe the complete disregard for our history, the deception, and the perversion. When I finally learned the truth, it was the darkest time of my life. I felt like a failure. There is something very masculine about having your family intact and feeling like you take care of them, and all of a sudden, for the first time in my adult life, I didn’t have it any more, and I didn’t have my most important emotional connection. I really never had it. I will say, I never felt inferior to the other men, because I had the moral high ground. I just had to come to terms with nothing being what it seemed, and the person who I trusted and relied on the most not really existing. –  Kevin

 You said things weren’t right, but you never worked on fixing them. I made excuses for you. Life is hard. You have so much on your plate. But the fun and carefree version of you was still there. In the text to her on your phone. Flirty. Sexy. A mutual understanding that we were no longer in love would have been one thing. Heartbreaking, and not what I had hoped for when I said “til’ Death do us part.” But the lying and disrespect, the carrying on with someone else as I sat at home feeding, bathing, and caring for our children, is something I’m not sure I will fully recover from. People can fall in and out of love. Having my trust completely obliterated in one small glance on your phone has crushed me a thousand times more than any lost love of my past. And I don’t know how to repair it. – Anonymous

We could have ended our marriage amicably, stayed friends and given our kids a healthy transition, but you chose a different path.
I want you to know that it wasn’t the cheating that hurt me so much, it was that you refused to tell me the truth. The betrayal after 20 years of being best friends is just too hard for me to comprehend. We could have ended our marriage amicably, stayed friends and given our kids a healthy transition, but you chose a different path. I am reminded of my disappointment in you every time I see the pain in our children’s eyes – Jennifer

Three years post divorce, the emotional pain of losing the man I thought you were has faded. I no longer wish to be with you, but there is a jab every once in a while when I see a family, and I wonder why that couldn’t be us. I know that you were never faithful to me; knowing that will never go away. I forgive you so I can move on, but I will never forget the hurt, the disrespect and the emotional abuse. I never deserved how you treated me, but I have my self-respect for divorcing you. You will forever live as a prisoner of your wrongs; you still cannot be faithful to your current girlfriend (past mistress). I have moved on. I am free. – Brigette

- source: http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/what-your-ex-wants-you-to-know-about-your-cheating-jnky/


If you want a relationship, stay faithful in it. The heartbreak caused do have everlasting effects on some people. Some broken hearts never mend.

True... I won't want anyone to be in such a situation.
Especially when you've put soo much into the relationship (both physical and non-physical)

Heart theft

NifemiOlu:


Some broken hearts never mend.

Don Williams

No heartbreak experience, fortunately...

I sympathize with those that have been there.

All I have to say is your cousin is very useless

lilmax:
All I have to say is your cousin is very useless

LooooL

bellong:


Don Williams

Country music never dies.

This is what you get when you choose to rely on others for happiness.
And when they choose to no longer take the responsibility for making you happy, you feel like a victim.

Mindfulness:
This is what you get when you choose to rely on others for happiness.
And when they choose to no longer take the responsibility for making you happy, you feel like a victim.

Truth

NifemiOlu:


Country music never dies.

Yes ooo...

Mindfulness:
This is what you get when you choose to rely on others for happiness.
And when they choose to no longer take the responsibility for making you happy, you feel like a victim.

So for someone who married someone for 20 years should just move on whenever the partner stops taking responsibility.
It's not the happiness part that kills people. It's the trust betrayed and the feeling of being used...not the 'he/she is my life'.
Ordinarily, why do we get angry when a random person used us to achieve something. That's the same in relationships too.
Read the experience of Kevin up there. You'd see it's not always about someone being your happiness.

NifemiOlu:

So for someone who married someone for 20 years should just move on whenever the partner stops taking responsibility.

I am not saying should, I am saying could.

What else do you want to do, force him/her to take responsibility? You can't! You have no control over other people, you can only have control over yourself. This is enough.

So there is a choice, you pick yourself up and live every day of your precious life the best way you can and every day a little bit better or you continue whining and feeling like a victim. The choice is YOURS.

It's not the happiness part that kills people. It's the trust betrayed and the feeling of being used...not the 'he/she is my life'.

So when someone betrays you, you will, on top of that, choose to kill yourself? Why? Do you deserve punishment? Are you masochistic? I don'T understand.

Ordinarily, why do we get angry when a random person used us to achieve something. That's the same in relationships too.

I don't get angry when someone achieves something. Why would I?

Read the experience of Kevin up there. You'd see it's not always about someone being your happiness.

It was very much about someone being his happiness. He needed a woman and a family to feel masculine when in fact he is masculine with or without a family. He came from a place of neediness and he fell back into this place.

Lol.... so your cousin went on fainting spree after breakup?
I hope he has stopped falling inside gutters now.

DollyParton1:
Lol.... so your cousin went on fainting spree after breakup?
I hope he has stopped falling inside gutters now.

Yes o. He's happily married now.