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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Husband Denies Me Sex And Affection...its Killing Me (79563 Views)
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Re: My Husband Denies Me Sex And Affection...its Killing Me by MsBliss(f): 5:37pm On Oct 19, 2015 |
nah this kind thing dey make person dey fear to marry. ![]() 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Denies Me Sex And Affection...its Killing Me by Hi55: 7:34pm On Oct 19, 2015 |
Thanks to you all for the words of advice and encouragement. To answer some of your questions: yes I have a job, my husband has NEVER been much of the sex type right from the onset but he also doesn't ignore me or sleep in the sitting room like he does now. My problem is majorly the lack of affection and not just sex. I can stay for ages without sex but not when my husband is alive and sleeps under the same roof with me daily. It doesn't just seem right to me. I love my kids beyond words but the truth remains that I'm not married to them so they can't play the role of a husband. The funniest part of it all is that he goes on as if all is well. Someone talked about men being distracted if they have a project at hand. Yes, we have a huge project at hand but I still do not see the connection. I can't masturbate or commit adultery but I can take a walk out of the marriage if things become unbearable for me. I just love him too much and he seems to be taking advantage of that. I NEVER threw myself at him. This life is such an irony because a lot of men are out there begging their wives for intimacy. I just pray he is not cheating on me because if I find out, his family will receive his corpse prematurely. That is one thing I am certain about. 5 Likes |
Re: My Husband Denies Me Sex And Affection...its Killing Me by ify84(m): 8:13pm On Oct 19, 2015 |
We need to hear ur husband's side if the story... And, since he can't be here to drop it . .. I suggest you go tell someone he respect much and informally close to him as well. .. wen u tell him or her, the person will then invite ur husband to hear his side of the story . . From there, compromise will be reached... 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Denies Me Sex And Affection...its Killing Me by ify84(m): 8:17pm On Oct 19, 2015 |
Hi55: Haaaaaa, MUDERER in the house... DSS must pick u up. .. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Denies Me Sex And Affection...its Killing Me by Pidggin(f): 9:48pm On Oct 19, 2015 |
Hi55: Give him viagra, it will help. 3 Likes |
Re: My Husband Denies Me Sex And Affection...its Killing Me by Nobody: 10:23pm On Oct 19, 2015 |
If This Story is true...Trust me,Nairaland is provably the Worst place You should Ask for Advice.... Just Reading The comments here makes me Wanna Knock Some people.... ![]() ![]() ![]() Anyways...Back To You...Have You tried sitting him down n Really Talking to Him? Like Really talking to him? If He really Adores You...intimacy Shouldn't be a forced thing...I'm positive there's something behind it...Maybe adultery? some Unknown StD's or some Libido Issues? 2 Likes |
Re: My Husband Denies Me Sex And Affection...its Killing Me by Nobody: 10:53pm On Oct 19, 2015 |
@ OP Look somewhere else to satisfy yourself if after you have explained how you feel about it to him. |
Re: My Husband Denies Me Sex And Affection...its Killing Me by IlesanmiG: 10:55pm On Oct 19, 2015 |
is it food? |
Re: My Husband Denies Me Sex And Affection...its Killing Me by ednut1(m): 10:55pm On Oct 19, 2015 |
Reasons why ladies shud bt rush into marriage. Before u reach 30 d man go don tire. Take heart. There are 3 versions to this story tho ur version, his version and the truth 2 Likes |
Re: My Husband Denies Me Sex And Affection...its Killing Me by allanphash7(m): 10:55pm On Oct 19, 2015 |
I read your post and felt your cries Dear do you know this is exactly what am going through but some differences Life is vice versa Life is funny Talk to him in private anyway and cry to him. You are not a fool by crying to him. How i wish am loved like this Hi55: 2 Likes |
Re: My Husband Denies Me Sex And Affection...its Killing Me by Lasveg(m): 10:56pm On Oct 19, 2015 |
op if it makes u feel better, know dat ur marriage is not d only one having problems. Marriage sucks |
Re: My Husband Denies Me Sex And Affection...its Killing Me by Deefuray(f): 10:57pm On Oct 19, 2015 |
Rape himm 5 Likes |
Re: My Husband Denies Me Sex And Affection...its Killing Me by Nobody: 10:58pm On Oct 19, 2015 |
Have you tried talking to your husband about how you feel? Especially without apportioning blames. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Denies Me Sex And Affection...its Killing Me by porrigeyam(m): 10:59pm On Oct 19, 2015 |
Hi55:start wearing clothes like silk in d night I mean very tight silk T-shirt and very tight leather leggins in d night before he comes back....with this things like nippples etc will be very visible.... try this for 3days if doesn't make a move madam he either have problem with his manhood or he his cheating which in other news I'm available ![]() In the case of affection whenever he his chatting on his phone you to pick your own and chat him on whatsapp.... better still early in d morning when he wakes up sit him down, then u sit on his laps ur hand around his neck and breasts rubbing his cheat and tell things that he has stop doing and things u will like him to be doing for u,pour out your mind, maybe this might work. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Denies Me Sex And Affection...its Killing Me by Nobody: 11:00pm On Oct 19, 2015 |
Has he been like this? ![]() Well, decline in libido after kids is very normal. It doesn't always mean anyone is cheating or not well kept_ it just happens. He could also be having issues at work, extended family...etc. Make him confide in you. Have some couple day out, lunch/dinners. It rekindles connection. For the sex: Take the bull by the horn. Take a shower, put kiddies to bed and spray a nice cologne. You may have to change formation, we all get bored with man ontop- woman under shii. Maybe he hasn't been sexed in a way that resets his brain. Learn to play with his D like it's a toy, that would start sending messages across first. Then, sit on him sweerie, that's after making sure you have gotten his 'maximum/minimum' attention. Make the D slide in, then ride him till he forgets his state of origin. If the D is that type that is like a hilux's stick shift, please support yourself by the knees. OR: if he is ontop, try to wiggle_ like you're belly dancing hah? ![]() Touch him, run fingers down his spine and nibble on his ears. Enjoy that shii... even if he doesn't want to. ![]() Above all, talk to him. Communication in marriage is 2way, teach him to enjoy sex and companionship, be patient with him. If he has to sleep in the bath tub, make him realise you would sleep there too. 20 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Denies Me Sex And Affection...its Killing Me by heardis: 11:01pm On Oct 19, 2015 |
ojun50:My dear, it does not always work that way o. It may even end up worsening it if he smells rudeness or you trying to manipulate him. |
Re: My Husband Denies Me Sex And Affection...its Killing Me by daveP(m): 11:03pm On Oct 19, 2015 |
Ive seen a direct situo where the lady in question use non-verbal way. I.e writing briefly on paper and putting it where he could see it. Then she reduce the notes till twas only one word that invokes deep thought..... It worked on him |
Re: My Husband Denies Me Sex And Affection...its Killing Me by macaranta(m): 11:03pm On Oct 19, 2015 |
OP although you didn't say how long it's been happening,something could be troubling him just speak to him first before assuming things |
Re: My Husband Denies Me Sex And Affection...its Killing Me by kobonaire(m): 11:03pm On Oct 19, 2015 |
Nobody has to know We can keep it on the down low ... |
Re: My Husband Denies Me Sex And Affection...its Killing Me by Chookym(m): 11:05pm On Oct 19, 2015 |
U need to really find awaynof discussng tr pains with him. line of comunication has to be restored , thats when he qill be able to open up to you. U just hv to make him talk. create the outmosphere for it |
Re: My Husband Denies Me Sex And Affection...its Killing Me by kobonaire(m): 11:05pm On Oct 19, 2015 |
Deefuray:I'm pretty sure that is not the right thing to do regardless of the gender 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Denies Me Sex And Affection...its Killing Me by Fearcom(m): 11:06pm On Oct 19, 2015 |
KingEbukasBlog: Took the words right out of my mouth... 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Denies Me Sex And Affection...its Killing Me by antonioculprito(m): 11:06pm On Oct 19, 2015 |
Inbox ur no lets pray together ![]() |
Re: My Husband Denies Me Sex And Affection...its Killing Me by Sunbellar: 11:07pm On Oct 19, 2015 |
babysophie:Did I hear you say ' masturbate' ? 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Denies Me Sex And Affection...its Killing Me by Larryklef: 11:09pm On Oct 19, 2015 |
My dear, you must have irritated ur husband by hurting him wickedly. My own story is even worse in marriage. I would rather Mastubate than have sex with my wife. I just don't feel her any longer after only a year in marriage. For her, she cheated and I just can't forgive her despite trying severally to move on. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Denies Me Sex And Affection...its Killing Me by hoebamaa(m): 11:10pm On Oct 19, 2015 |
KanwuliaJara:You need to grow up..jst saying. 9 Likes |
Re: My Husband Denies Me Sex And Affection...its Killing Me by reubenobi(m): 11:11pm On Oct 19, 2015 |
Hi55:madam,in funny bone voice.idikwa wicked.u want ur husband to prematurely. |
Re: My Husband Denies Me Sex And Affection...its Killing Me by Campus4u(m): 11:11pm On Oct 19, 2015 |
Madam,listen to me very very carefully. ......this thing you are experiencing now is called law of karma. think back and you will remember this thing that am telling you .when a true guy will love and be showing you girls love,you won't take him serious. ....you know your favorite quote na 'care,love and affection is not food and cloth'.that is why you are going after rich dudes,now you have realized that care,love and affection na food.abegi 5 Likes |
Re: My Husband Denies Me Sex And Affection...its Killing Me by Mariopgomery(m): 11:11pm On Oct 19, 2015 |
you never know he could be gay... sadly sometimes that's the case 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Denies Me Sex And Affection...its Killing Me by samokofafrica(m): 11:12pm On Oct 19, 2015 |
Please kindly call him and let both of you read this portion of the bible together. 1 Corinthian 7:2-5 Then get comments from each other and pray together. |
Re: My Husband Denies Me Sex And Affection...its Killing Me by christinie(f): 11:12pm On Oct 19, 2015 |
Start ignoring him too and he will turn around. I don't mean you shouldn't talk to him. Do everything a wife is supposed to do for her hubby but act as if you've forgotten about the word 'sex'. Also act very happy. Act like life has never been sweeter than now. He will begin to get scared. He will quickly turn around. Some guys get bored with seeing same face daily. It's a disorder. Give him some challenges and he will wake up. NB be prayerful while at it. Thanks. Hi55: 2 Likes |
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