As Salam Aleikun Brothers And Sister


Pls Your Advice Is Needed

I Just Can Help My Self When It Comes To Sex. It Started Two Years Ago And Now I Am Addicted Pls


Your Advice Is Needed

Go get married pls. May Allah make it easy for you.

There are many ways to avoid sex addiction like fasting reading quran regularly but the best way is to contact an imam or a scholar close to you

I think getting married is the best option..

It is a pity that the OP has not received genuine recommendation. Those advising the OP to go marry are not serious. They express lack respect for women, rendering them as sex object. How many women will be glad to have a man marry her, offering her body as fodder for his sexual addiction? How many of you will give your daughter to sex addict to satiate his lust?

Marriage is no cure for sex addiction. It just feeds the addict with sex. Feeding addiction grows the addiction and before you know the sex addict is either cheating on his wife or finding a second wife, because sex addicts are never satisfied with a single partner.

Recommendations to curb sex addiction:

1. Stop seeing women behind closed doors. And minimize physical contact. Anything beyond an handshake may trigger your hormones.

2. Minimize your access to materials with sexual contents.

3. Lower your gaze especially on the streets, avoid checking out ladies.

4. Keep away from sexual perverts and perverted discussion on sex.

5. Avoid idleness and keep yourself busy and in company of positive minded persons. Partake in other fun and relaxing activities.

6. See a psychologist doctor

7. Pray.

What if you still kinda end up in bed, on verge of sex? Remind yourself the guilt and regret that will follow this short moment of pleasure. You may also resist temptation by procrastinating. For instance, if the urge become too strong and you are about to give in to the sex, promise yourself to have it in a short while (e.g tommorow, in a few days) rather than going for it at the instant. This can calm your body in the meantime, enabling you to withstand the temptation. Later on, you may talk yourself out of going for it.

Kudducini:
As Salam Aleikun Brothers And Sister
Pls Your Advice Is Needed
I Just Can Help My Self When It Comes To Sex. It Started Two Years Ago And Now I Am Addicted Pls
Your Advice Is Needed

Seeking help to stop an evil is a good step in the right direction. You can take the following steps:

* First and foremost, make sincere Tawbah(repentance) to Allah(SWT). Why? You have wronged your soul by engaging yourself in what Allah(SWT) has made haram(forbidden).

* You can actually plan to get married as soon as possible just like you've been advised earlier. This is one of the advice the Prophet(SAW) gave the youths. He(SAW) said: "O youths, whosoever is capable amongst you, let him get married...". With marriage, you'll have halal access to sex 24/7. If "kongi" catches you anytime, just rush to meet your wife. You'll even be rewarded after the sex by Allah(SWT)! However, if you are considering marriage, don't consider just only sex. Consider other neccessary factors especially the Deen of the girl you want to marry. This is very important.

* If you are not considering marriage now, then, you need to do the following:

- See Zina(Fornication/Adultery) as laid down by Allah(SWT) and the Prophet(SAW). Zina is nothing but an evil which we
must distance ourselves from. It attracts severe punishments from Allah(SWT).

- Observe your Solats to their respective times.

- Cut off all the boyfriend/girlfriend relationships you have. Send all those girlfriends away! Be firm with this. Don't mince
words with them. Let them know what you were doing together is evil! If some of them want sex, they would run
as fast as their legs can carry them to their boyfriends house to Bleep them, even if the boyfriends are not interested.
Shameless girls!

- Avoid girls generally as much as possible. Don't allow any girl to visit you alone and don't visit any girl alone. A man
and a woman staying together in isolation is like a magnet and an iron staying close to each other. It's just a matter of
time for sex to happen. Normally, it would start with eye to eye contact. This would be followed by touching. Then,
romance... Then, the real evil!

- Re-select you male friends. Those that commit Zina and other immoralities amongst them, distance yourself from
them. Keep only pious muslim friends.

- Pray to Allah(SWT) to protect you and make you steadfast on your new resolution.

- Engage yourself in acts of Ibaadah like fasting, recitation of Qur'an, attending lectures, etc.

- Avoid scenes of Zina e.g watching pornography, going to clubs, looking at breasts/bums and other parts of women,
etc.

- Avoid all other evil acts that are 'brothers' to Zina e.g playing 'Baba Ijebu', 'playing Bet9ja', other forms of gambling,
drinking of alcohol, smoking weed, smoking cigarrettes, etc. Some of these are actually stepping stones to Zina.

- Finally, always be in the company of good pious friends.


Allah(SWT) says in the Holy Qur'an: "Do not move near Zina(Fornication/Adultery)...". He(SWT) also says: "Let them remain chaste, those who are not yet capable of marrying, until Allah(SWT) enriches them out of His bounties.". These are the messages of Allah(SWT) to the believers on Zina.

We are muslims. We should behave as muslims. To the unbelievers, it's a free world. It is paradise to them. To us as muslims, we have a lot to contend with. This is part of Jihad Nafs(Fighting one's soul to obey our Creator) the Prophet(SAW) told us, even when nobody would hold us responsible on this Earth.

So, let us be muslims, my brother! May Allah(SWT) make it easy for you (Amin).

It is important to always put the Allah and His Prophet in the forefront in our life i.e how did Allah and Rosool want me to tackle things, that is why Allah said:

"It is not for a believer, man or woman, when Allah and His Messenger have decreed a matter that they should have any option in their decision. And whoever disobeys Allah and His Messenger, he has indeed strayed in a plain error."Al-Ahzab Verse No:36

So my dear brother/sister a solution has been provided by the best of mankind on the earth(Prophet Muhammad solaLLAHU alaihi wa salam):

Bukhari: Volume 7, Book 62, Number 4:
Narrated 'Abdullah:

We were with the Prophet while we were young and had no wealth whatever. So Allah's Apostle said, "O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power."

your fasting can be that of Prophet Daood(alaihi solaat wa salaam). You fast one day, you break one day and pray to Allah to bless you with best of Nikkah

May Allah guid you

.

Are you married?.

usermane:
It is a pity that the OP has not received genuine recommendation. Those advising the OP to go marry are not serious. They express lack respect for women, rendering them as sex object. How many women will be glad to have a man marry her, offering her body as fodder for his sexual addiction? How many of you will give your daughter to sex addict to satiate his lust?

Marriage is no cure for sex addiction. It just feeds the addict with sex. Feeding addiction grows the addiction and before you know the sex addict is either cheating on his wife or finding a second wife, because sex addicts are never satisfied with a single partner.

Recommendations to curb sex addiction:

1. Stop seeing women behind closed doors. And minimize physical contact. Anything beyond an handshake may trigger your hormones.

2. Minimize your access to materials with sexual contents.

3. Lower your gaze especially on the streets, avoid checking out ladies.

4. Keep away from sexual perverts and perverted discussion on sex.

5. Avoid idleness and keep yourself busy and in company of positive minded persons. Partake in other fun and relaxing activities.

6. See a psychologist doctor

7. Pray.

What if you still kinda end up in bed, on verge of sex? Remind yourself the guilt and regret that will follow this short moment of pleasure. You may also resist temptation by procrastinating. For instance, if the urge become too strong and you are about to give in to the sex, promise yourself to have it in a short while (e.g tommorow, in a few days) rather than going for it at the instant. This can calm your body in the meantime, enabling you to withstand the temptation. Later on, you may talk yourself out of going for it.

MrOlai:


Seeking help to stop an evil is a good step in the right direction. You can take the following steps:

* First and foremost, make sincere Tawbah(repentance) to Allah(SWT). Why? You have wronged your soul by engaging yourself in what Allah(SWT) has made haram(forbidden).

* You can actually plan to get married as soon as possible just like you've been advised earlier. This is one of the advice the Prophet(SAW) gave the youths. He(SAW) said: "O youths, whosoever is capable amongst you, let him get married...". With marriage, you'll have halal access to sex 24/7. If "kongi" catches you anytime, just rush to meet your wife. You'll even be rewarded after the sex by Allah(SWT)! However, if you are considering marriage, don't consider just only sex. Consider other neccessary factors especially the Deen of the girl you want to marry. This is very important.

* If you are not considering marriage now, then, you need to do the following:

- See Zina(Fornication/Adultery) as laid down by Allah(SWT) and the Prophet(SAW). Zina is nothing but an evil which we
must distance ourselves from. It attracts severe punishments from Allah(SWT).

- Observe your Solats to their respective times.

- Cut off all the boyfriend/girlfriend relationships you have. Send all those girlfriends away! Be firm with this. Don't mince
words with them. Let them know what you were doing together is evil! If some of them want sex, they would run
as fast as their legs can carry them to their boyfriends house to Bleep them, even if the boyfriends are not interested.
Shameless girls!

- Avoid girls generally as much as possible. Don't allow any girl to visit you alone and don't visit any girl alone. A man
and a woman staying together in isolation is like a magnet and an iron staying close to each other. It's just a matter of
time for sex to happen. Normally, it would start with eye to eye contact. This would be followed by touching. Then,
romance... Then, the real evil!

- Re-select you male friends. Those that commit Zina and other immoralities amongst them, distance yourself from
them. Keep only pious muslim friends.

- Pray to Allah(SWT) to protect you and make you steadfast on your new resolution.

- Engage yourself in acts of Ibaadah like fasting, recitation of Qur'an, attending lectures, etc.

- Avoid scenes of Zina e.g watching pornography, going to clubs, looking at breasts/bums and other parts of women,
etc.

- Avoid all other evil acts that are 'brothers' to Zina e.g playing 'Baba Ijebu', 'playing Bet9ja', other forms of gambling,
drinking of alcohol, smoking weed, smoking cigarrettes, etc. Some of these are actually stepping stones to Zina.

- Finally, always be in the company of good pious friends.


Allah(SWT) says in the Holy Qur'an: "Do not move near Zina(Fornication/Adultery)...". He(SWT) also says: "Let them remain chaste, those who are not yet capable of marrying, until Allah(SWT) enriches them out of His bounties.". These are the messages of Allah(SWT) to the believers on Zina.

We are muslims. We should behave as muslims. To the unbelievers, it's a free world. It is paradise to them. To us as muslims, we have a lot to contend with. This is part of Jihad Nafs(Fighting one's soul to obey our Creator) the Prophet(SAW) told us, even when nobody would hold us responsible on this Earth.

So, let us be muslims, my brother! May Allah(SWT) make it easy for you (Amin).

May Allaah reward you both with good. I pray may Allaah make it easy for the OP and everyone of us all

PhunsukhWangdu:

May Allaah reward you both with good. I pray may Allaah make it easy for the OP and everyone of us all

Amin my dear Brother, my dear Teacher.
ؤاياكم الله كيرا كثيرا

usermane:
It is a pity that the OP has not received genuine recommendation. Those advising the OP to go marry are not serious. They express lack respect for women, rendering them as sex object. How many women will be glad to have a man marry her, offering her body as fodder for his sexual addiction? How many of you will give your daughter to sex addict to satiate his lust?

Marriage is no cure for sex addiction. It just feeds the addict with sex. Feeding addiction grows the addiction and before you know the sex addict is either cheating on his wife or finding a second wife, because sex addicts are never satisfied with a single partner.

Recommendations to curb sex addiction:

1. Stop seeing women behind closed doors. And minimize physical contact. Anything beyond an handshake may trigger your hormones.

2. Minimize your access to materials with sexual contents.

3. Lower your gaze especially on the streets, avoid checking out ladies.

4. Keep away from sexual perverts and perverted discussion on sex.

5. Avoid idleness and keep yourself busy and in company of positive minded persons. Partake in other fun and relaxing activities.

6. See a psychologist doctor

7. Pray.

What if you still kinda end up in bed, on verge of sex? Remind yourself the guilt and regret that will follow this short moment of pleasure. You may also resist temptation by procrastinating. For instance, if the urge become too strong and you are about to give in to the sex, promise yourself to have it in a short while (e.g tommorow, in a few days) rather than going for it at the instant. This can calm your body in the meantime, enabling you to withstand the temptation. Later on, you may talk yourself out of going for it.

I am sorry but unless you are a woman, please refrain from speaking for us.

Every woman wants to be seen as a sex object however it depends on the context. In any other contexts aside from marriage is derogatory. A wife is a bed mate, a confidant, a mother and a helper.

daretodiffer:


I am sorry but unless you are a woman, please refrain from speaking for us.

Every woman wants to be seen as a sex object however it depends on the context. In any other contexts aside from marriage is derogatory. A wife is a bed mate, a confidant, a mother and a helper.

lol....true talk. He's right too but why deceiving himself? . I don't understand that. The best option is getting married. All these other remedies he put forward are correct as well, but at the end of the day, guy is going to be alone thinking over sex again and do what his nafs tells him.

We need to stop deceiving ourselves. Even though fasting is recommended, I swear far less people can do that. The reason this will not work in most cases is bcus it's simply not mandatory unlike Ramadan which compels us to abstain. As a matter of fact, considering op's situation, fast is one of the last options.

Marriage preceded everything else. Marrying to avoid Zina does not denotes woman marrying addict. No, sir usermane. And yes, if a woman isn't enough, take one more. It's halal

As for psychologist doctor he recommended, throw that in the garbage. That's not gonna work.

daretodiffer:


I am sorry but unless you are a woman, please refrain from speaking for us.

Be sorry for yourself. There is no us, just you. If I don't speak for you. I might speak for others.

Every woman wants to be seen as a sex object however it depends on the context. In any other contexts aside from marriage is derogatory. A wife is a bed mate, a confidant, a mother and a helper.

In what context exactly, in the context of serving as fodder for sex maniac? Regardless, you speak for non other than yourself.

Peace!

Empiree:
lol....true talk. He's right too but why deceiving himself? . I don't understand that. The best option is getting married. All these other remedies he put forward are correct as well, but at the end of the day, guy is going to be alone thinking over sex again and do what his nafs tells him.

We need to stop deceiving ourselves. Even though fasting is recommended, I swear far less people can do that. The reason this will not work in most cases is bcus it's simply not mandatory unlike Ramadan which compels us to abstain. As a matter of fact, considering op's situation, fast is one of the last options.

Marriage preceded everything else. Marrying to avoid Zina does not denotes woman marrying addict. No, sir usermane. And yes, if a woman isn't enough, take one more. It's halal

As for psychologist doctor he recommended, throw that in the garbage. That's not gonna work.

BS, there are sex addicts who are married. You seem to assume that marriage is an ultimate fix for sex addiction or sex addiction under marriage is not a problem.

@underlined, do you even preview before posting? It easy to see why your creed is so patriarchal.

MrOlai:

Amin my dear Brother, my dear Teacher.
ؤاياكم الله كيرا كثيرا

أنا طالبك من فضلك

usermane:


Be sorry for yourself. There is no us, just you. If I don't speak for you. I might speak for others.



In what context exactly, in the context of serving as fodder for sex maniac? Regardless, you speak for non other than yourself.

Peace!

Aren't you obstinate?

I am a muslimah and you are just a man. That means I have muslim friends who feel exactly the same way. You have no basis to speak for us however I can do that because I am a woman who has female friends.

Sex is not haraam. It is very much halal. Husband and wife can see each other anyhow they deem fit including a sex object.

Empiree:
lol....true talk. He's right too but why deceiving himself? . I don't understand that. The best option is getting married. All these other remedies he put forward are correct as well, but at the end of the day, guy is going to be alone thinking over sex again and do what his nafs tells him.

We need to stop deceiving ourselves. Even though fasting is recommended, I swear far less people can do that. The reason this will not work in most cases is bcus it's simply not mandatory unlike Ramadan which compels us to abstain. As a matter of fact, considering op's situation, fast is one of the last options.

Marriage preceded everything else. Marrying to avoid Zina does not denotes woman marrying addict. No, sir usermane. And yes, if a woman isn't enough, take one more. It's halal

As for psychologist doctor he recommended, throw that in the garbage. That's not gonna work.

I agree with all your points except the polygamy part.

daretodiffer:


I agree with all your points except the polygamy part.

Ladies thing. That's normal.

Empiree:
Ladies thing. That's normal.

It is not a lady thing and it is not normal in this situation.

usermane:


BS, there are sex addicts who are married. You seem to assume that marriage is an ultimate fix for sex addiction or sex addiction under marriage is not a problem.

Your view now and I respect it. But you wrong, sir. If specialists can cure such a thing, then Western world where sex addicts fluctuate would have been a thing of the past. But no, your very same trusted doc would rape you first.

@underlined, do you even preview before posting? It easy to see why your creed is so patriarchal.

You have problems with underlined?. Well, side-chicks okay with you?

daretodiffer:


It is not a lady thing and it is not normal in this situation.

Care to explain in what situation exactly?.

Empiree:
Care to explain in what situation exactly?.

I don't he has a sex addiction. The problem with him is that he has had sex and he is finding it hard to stop. Getting married to a woman he cares about is the solution. There is no need for polygamy.

daretodiffer:


I don't he has a sex addiction.

Neither do I. It's in our nafs and it's halal. Period

The problem with him is that he has had sex and he is finding it hard to stop. Getting married to a woman he cares about is the solution.

Simple. Thats just it.

There is no need for polygamy.

Yes, not compulsory. But that as well is allowed if nature calls for it.

Besides, when you said there is no need for poly, are you comfortable with your man having a side-chick?

Empiree:
Neither do I. It's in our nafs and it's halal. Period


Simple. Thats just it.

Yes, not compulsory. But that as well is allowed if nature calls for it.

Besides, when you said there is no need for poly, are you comfortable with your man having a side-chick?

No, I am comfortable with being the ONLY ONE

daretodiffer:


No, I am comfortable with being the ONLY ONE

Then you are deceiving yourself. Thats worst. If he sense you are not up to the task anymore and you know it, and he realize you not going to allow second choice, then he will marry sidechick outside or simply get a side-chick prego. That will pain you so much cus you will eventually know about it. Why are we deceiving ourselves when the Lord God who understands better than us already set things right?.

Same thing western countries do. They reject polygamy but have no problem with side chicks.

Empiree:
Then you are deceiving yourself. Thats worst. If he sense you are not up to the task anymore and you know it, and he realize you not going to allow second choice, then he will marry sidechick outside or simply get a side-chick prego. That will pain you so much cus you will eventually know about it. Why are we deceiving ourselves when the Lord God who understands better than us already set things right?.

Same thing western countries do. They reject polygamy but have no problem with side chicks.

The funny thing is I have a personality that makes me easily bored. I get bored with people. I can be all over you face today and tomorrow I will ignore you. I like varieties and mixing with different people. I am very scared of marriage because of that. For me to let go of that to commit to him, I expect the same. If he can't, he just might me moving on with a full smile on my face. Qur'an, video games, and my career are more than enough, I don't even need friends or family.

He can decide to let go of a perfect wife to satisfy his curiosity or stick to me regardless. His choice.

Have you considered the fact that most married women also feel the same however the ONLY constraint for most is religion, perhaps the society too.

Polygamy is a choice so is marital affair.

daretodiffer:



The funny thing is I have a personality that makes me easily bored. I get bored with people. I can be all over you face today and tomorrow I will ignore you. I like varieties and mixing with different people. I am very scared of marriage because of that. For me to let go of that to commit to him, I expect the same. If he can't, he just might me moving on with a full smile on my face. Qur'an, video games, and my career are more than enough, I don't even need friends or family.

He can decide to let go of a perfect wife to satisfy his curiosity or stick to me regardless. His choice.

Have you considered the fact that most married women also feel the same however the ONLY constraint for most is religion, perhaps the society too.

Polygamy is a choice so is marital affair.

Well, there are some men (few) out there who definitely fit your personality. You may just have hard time getting one. Humm, you going to be alone for a long time sister.

Empiree:
Your view now and I respect it. But you wrong, sir. If specialists can cure such a thing, then Western world where sex addicts fluctuate would have been a thing of the past. But no, your very same trusted doc would rape you first.

You have problems with underlined?. Well, side-chicks okay with you?

I was hesitant to reply you initially because your posts or ideas lack of originality, packed with straw man arguments rehearsed by apologists, rather than thinkers. Your swift conclusion that anyone critical of polygamy is tolerant of side chick tells how severely hypnotized by traditional clerics you are.

Empiree:
Well, there are some men (few) out there who definitely fit your personality. You may just have hard time getting one. Humm, you going to be alone for a long time sister.

There are many men who have allowed themselves to be influenced, maybe if they realise that there is a lot to lose they might just be willing to use the brains instead of let the society decide for them.

I do not mind being alone or I could just get marry and divorce and marry again. You do prefer the latter, don't you?

usermane:


I was hesitant to reply you initially because your posts or ideas lack of originality, packed with straw man arguments rehearsed by apologists, rather than thinkers. Your swift conclusion that anyone critical of polygamy is tolerant of side chick tells how severely hypnotized by traditional clerics you are.

Yes, you hesitant because my point caught you off guard . You obviously said nothing. You have no counterclaim. hahaha i got you man.

@bolded is pretty much your opinion. You know too well many tolerate side chick right there in Nigeria over marriage especially Christians. That's why marriage is getting more difficult. In America, a married man without side chick is like dinner without side dish. It a norm now. Yet they overwhelmingly object to polygamy. You have nothing to say my friend.


THE AGONY OF MONOGAMY- BY TOLA ADENIYI
http://folasophical.com/?p=1965

daretodiffer:


There are many men who have allowed themselves to be influenced, maybe if they realise that there is a lot to lose they might just be willing to use the brains instead of let the society decide for them.

I do not mind being alone or I could just get marry and divorce and marry again. You do prefer the latter, don't you?

@underlined resembles typical western culture. You gonna end up having lots of baby daddies Congratulations!

I think you have wrong notion of what polygamy is. Maybe you need revision on it.