During the early hours of today, I came across a thread on Nairaland, which suggested that distance relationship is very unhealthy and dangerous to begin with.
Here is the link: https://www.nairaland.com/2679095/bitter-truth-guys-trying-maintain

I do respect the opinions of originator of the thread and I agree with his very first paragraph which states that distance relationship is better if you plan to get married soonest, otherwise, I would have taken a very different position in this write-up.

It will be prudent to come in from the angle where the author said that girls cheat more than guys in a distant relationship but in my experience, I don’t think distance is the problem but the two elements involved. Why do I say so? There more non-distant relationship than distant relationship, statistically speaking. But we still experience so much sorrowful stories emanating from various quarters, even marriages wherein the husband and wife live in same room or house are not spared with lots of cheating going on behind the scene.

So how is distance the problem?

Before you venture into any distance relationship there are certain conditions that must met. If we recall (please go through the link), the author of thread said that ladies cheat more in distance relationship. While this may be true, it also depends on the party involved in the relationship.

Firstly, what are your goals and plans for the relationship? Does it have an end-product or there would be a need endless prospecting in search of richer reserves?

If you are sure that you have a dream to settle down with the person you are dating, is she or he thinking on same wavelength for tomorrow? The signs are usually there for us to see except we are trying to deceive ourselves.

I did cut short midway into the third paragraph before reaching here; so I will like to continue from where I stopped. Before you venture into any distance relationship or any relationship at all (distance isn’t the problem but the people in the relationship), take an X-ray to determine the content and character structure of the other person you want to date: what are their words (take note of what they say and how they say it)? What kind of language do they emit bodily? How matured are they mind-wise?

Really, it does boil down to what you WANT!

What do you expect when you pick a girl who parties a lot, no career prospect, hang out with too many friends (many who will influence and deceive her) [I was a victim]. Same goes for the men as well. In a case wherein one party is focus on making a relationship work and the other isn’t, what do you expect? A functional relationship? You might be fooling yourself.

Imagine dating someone who take sex very serious like it’s a food or one who is never contented with what he or she has; you will hardly ever have good reach relationship that runs smoothly.

Let’s take a hypothetical case study.

I had a friend and we both dated two friends. Isioma was dating my friend and I was dating her friend.

Interlude: Remember the OP said that distance is the problem but he forgot that people who live in same house as husband and wife also experience what we all know as DIVORCE and the numbers are increasing daily. Didn’t these ones (husband and wife) hold hands, visit cinema, look in the eyes of each other, confessed their undying love at one point? Then what led to the divorce, the hate and pains?
CHARACTER, COMMITMENT, DISCIPLINE, FOCUS, VISION AND PERCEPTION is very important a relationship. When these are non-existent, whether distance or not, your relationship will FAIL!

Like I said, Isioma was dating my friend and I was dating her friend. Isioma is perfect wife material that was committed to making her relationship work. They were not so distant like in my own but the relationship crashed. Mine also crashed even faster than theirs because the lady involved with me was nuisance who had no goal for tomorrow. I dated mine because of what I saw in Isioma and I felt that same elements which Isioma had could be found in her friend by equating the popular saying: “birds of same feather flock together,” My greatest mistake.
Remember what I said earlier about when one party is serious about making a relationship work and the other not? It’s like standing on one foot and imbalanced.

I also had two friends who were in a long distance relationship and they are still waxing strong today.

Personally, I can’t go into a (distant) relationship with someone who is so sexually focused, one who party a lot and keep too many friends or basically lazy that she would have to depend on me for all her upkeeps because when I am not around, trust the devil to find his way into her through any of these listed channels.

So, all I am saying is that long distance relationship can work and distance is not the reason while it failed but the content of the persons involved.

The tendency of your relationship to fail is much less when you are with someone who is focused and committed, as compared to one who isn’t. And one who won’t stay will not, even if you give them the world.

Will I give distance relationship a try again? DEFINITELY YES but it comes with a clause after x-raying the lady. She has to be DISCIPLINED enough and there ways to know if I can trust her as experience has helped me developed my 6th sense to know if a lady is worth my time, which I can determine within the first few hours with a lady. In fact, right from day one, I know if I will last in a relationship with a lady or if I won’t. This comes with experience which not many folks have but they still rotate round what I said about content of character.

What happens when in a marriage the husband is working and transferred to another state while wife is working in another state or she can’t leave the kids? Isn’t that possible or what do we term a situation like this, non-distance relationship?

Distance relationship can work but It all boils down to focus, commitment, contentment, discipline, vision and mission not distance.
DROPS PEN!

Source: http://www.hookupcity.com/my-take-on-distant-relationship-and-why-i-think-it-can-work/

Exactly the right time

OP. Keep deceiving yourself. Long distance relationship is a scam. It can't work in today's world.

SeverusSnape:
OP. Keep deceiving yourself. Long distance relationship is a scam. It can't work in today's world.

lol

IMO, it depends on the people involed and their mentality as regards the relationship

Zeedarh:
IMO, it depends on the people involed and their mentality as regards the relationship

exactly

SeverusSnape:
OP. Keep deceiving yourself. Long distance relationship is a scam. It can't work in today's world.

Can you beat your chest and say your babe isn't seeing someone else behind your back even when it's not a long distance relationship?

2sex:
Can you beat your chest and say your babe isn't seeing someone else behind your back even when it's not a long distance relationship?

Yes. At least, Even if she wants to do it, It will be minimal, and you as a sharp guy can use your intuitive ability to know. But in a long distance relationship, It's unlimited freedom, and the other party will never know what's going on.

SeverusSnape:

Yes. At least, Even if she wants to do it, It will be minimal, and you as a sharp guy can use your intuitive ability to know. But in a long distance relationship, It's unlimited freedom, and the other party will never know what's going on.

Anyway, it depends the people involved. I respect your maturity in your reply. Respect brother.

2sex:
Anyway, it depends the people involved. I respect your maturity in your reply. Respect brother.

Same here bro. Thank you.

as far as am concerned, distance relationship do work. d fact that you r close to ur partners means nothing. av seen a married woman that still engage in an extra-marital affairs with another man inside the same compound. distance or no distance its still que sera sera

Op has said it all...sacta simplicitant