I believe one shouldn't go into marriage expecting anything from the other partner....it's a decision of choice,if u decide to be in that marriage be there irrespective of what the other partner is doing,don't base your actions on what the other partner is doing or not doing.
I think it's too much of expection from each parties that causes most of the divorce cases we have now.
What is the opinion of the house about this?

Pls is expecting my spouse to love me unconditionally, an high expectation?

The poster above me stole not only my spot, but also my thought.

Spot and thought.


The one below me will complain like i'm doing now


@topic (chuckles) what a way to belittle the Matrimonial Union.

Wow!!!am so surprised I saw this,I just had an argument this evening with hubby about this...he also claims that if a woman sacrifices for a man before marriage she shldnt expect anything from the man,she shldnt feel that she has sacrificed for d man so he shld stay in one place....I don't get it at all,is it dat we women shld not sacrifice so we don't feel hurt if the man starts misbehaving or we shld make sacrifices without expecting anything from the man...
Wonder y men are dis heartless and selfish

God bless you Devp,it's honestly a way to belittle the union,am glad it's coming from a man....
God has vindicated me,cause I argued this thing with all my heart,wondering where that mentality is from before I stumbled on this thread....

I think i understand where the OP is coming from. Un-met expections can be devastating even in ordinary relationships.
I just learnt this recently too

Saw something similar here
https://www.nairaland.com/2519913/sad-reality

True to a great extent.
Marriage is NEVER a game of team work for Nigerians or Africans.
Efrybarry go do as dem fit!

Well said!!

dhummystecah:
Pls is expecting my spouse to love me unconditionally, an high expectation?

As much as I tried to agree with the op, I just couldn't.

I don't get...why should I swear my whole life to my spouse and not expect anything? Not even love, respect and faithfulness?

You can tell me not to expect too much, or anything ridiculous, not that I shouldn't expect anything from my spouse. That'ld be too tall an expectation.

KanwuliaJara:
True to a great extent.
Marriage is NEVER a game of team work for Nigerians or Africans.
Efrybarry go do as dem fit!

why do you all enter marriage like you are about entering a battle field or you're about entering bokoharam camp ready to face visible and invisible wars forever. Which Kain life be that

Lack of expectations is what actually breaks the marriage cos u end up having d i dont care attitude towards one another wc kills d existing love.
It now depend on ur definition of expectation.i expect my husband to keep hs marital vows but my of an holiday in d Bahamas is just not realistic

I think the OP is right, I even came to this conclusion recently on my own, tho I'm not married, I feel generally not only in marriage, there is a high expectation from one party. When they can measure up, there's no problem, but the minute the person doesn't live up to that expectation, there will be friction which if not managed and sorted out from the right angle will lead to something else, it could be regular friendship, father-child relationship, boss-employee and so on...
I think if you learn to love yourself so much you realise you have love spilling all over, you wouldn't hurt when folks fall short of expectation.
Stop expecting so much from siblings, relations, friends or love inteRest, rely on God instead and what he has given you by talent and make yourself happy...no need blaming someone when stuff is beyond them...
However, if there are issues to be dealt with and there is room for improvement, then by all means one can go for it, but the bottom line is that I've learnt to stop expecting so much from a 'special' group of people in my life, and this is helping me accept them and love them for who they are not what I perceive them to be or what I really want and desire they be...
Expect little, and live longer lol!

Marriagematters:
I believe one shouldn't go into marriage expecting anything from the other partner....it's a decision of choice,if u decide to be in that marriage be there irrespective of what the other partner is doing,don't base your actions on what the other partner is doing or not doing.
I think it's too much of expection from each parties that causes most of the divorce cases we have now.
What is the opinion of the house about this?

I think there should be expectations in every marriage.....i will expect my wife to be a loving mother to our kids....i will expect my wife to be faithful, gud in bed, have foresight. My wife will also expert similar things from me. If its not working people have e right to divorce. It's better than being in unhappy marriage ending up cheating on ur spouse

I for one, the rule is stop expecting and start accepting. This is not only applicable in marriage but also in other spheres of life. And this formed my personal mantra of one living on ones own opinion because that is the first step towards assuming ones own responsibility in the future either for good or bad turn of fate and fortune.

SAMBARRY:
why do you all enter marriage like you are about entering a battle field or you're about entering bokoharam camp ready to face visible and invisible wars forever. Which Kain life be that

this your queshion cracked me up sooo bad. Na wa o Kulyie, you go fear comparison naa

@ topic - there is something that makes dating different from marriage. It's the "oath" both parties take on that day and the least both parties should expect from each other is for those promises to be kept.

Rather than make those promises and turning around to accuse your partner of expecting too much, why take the wedding oath in the first place? If you must make promises, then you must keep them!

Kimoni:
@ topic - there is something that makes dating different from marriage. It's the "oath" both parties take on that day and the least both parties should expect from each other is for those promises to be kept.

Rather than make those promises and turning around to accuse your partner of expecting too much, why take the wedding oath in the first place? If you must make promises, then you must keep them!

God bless you.

For those that claim they should not expect anything, if your spouse is cheating or becomes abusive, then they should not complain. Abi, expect nothing.

In fact, your wife might as well get pregnant for another man or the husband impregnate the house help and life will continue.

Na una sabi. I expect a lot from my husband and vice versa, both realistic and unrealistic ones and it works for us.

i expect loyalty, honesty and commitment. Those 3 are very firm and realistic.

hotD:
Wow!!!am so surprised I saw this,I just had an argument this evening with hubby about this...he also claims that if a woman sacrifices for a man before marriage she shldnt expect anything from the man,she shldnt feel that she has sacrificed for d man so he shld stay in one place....I don't get it at all,is it dat we women shld not sacrifice so we don't feel hurt if the man starts misbehaving or we shld make sacrifices without expecting anything from the man...
Wonder y men are dis heartless and selfish

Don't generalise. Your husband has serious issues and you should be worried. Not all men think like that.

ifyalways:
Na una sabi. I expect a lot from my husband and vice versa, both realistic and unrealistic ones and it works for us.

i expect loyalty, honesty and commitment. Those 3 are very firm and realistic.

Thank you.

@toonoisy-am not generalizing o,I know quite a number of men that don't think that way....and some wants a woman to give them the whole world while they have a ball without her demanding any form of accountability from them,demanding for that makes them feel ure controlling or a feminist...
In marriage I believe both parties should have expect ions,am faithful to u,u too be faithful,I endure ure excesses,u too endure mine,if it's one sided u would end up draining the love out of that person

Kimoni:


this your queshion cracked me up sooo bad. Na wa o Kulyie, you go fear comparison naa

it's true na.

The rules here everyday on top this marriage Matter pass the process of applying for a new atm card

hotD:
@toonoisy-am not generalizing o,I know quite a number of men that don't think that way....and some wants a woman to give them the whole world while they have a ball without her demanding any form of accountability from them,demanding for that makes them feel ure controlling or a feminist...
In marriage I believe both parties should have expect ions,am faithful to u,u too be faithful,I endure ure excesses,u too endure mine,if it's one sided u would end up draining the love out of that person

what does the D stand for in your Monica?

Please review your marriage or marriage plans if you have no expectations for /from it. Marriage comes with necessary expectations that has to be met. You should be ready to give and receive in return.

TooNoisy:


God bless you.

For those that claim they should not expect anything, if your spouse is cheating or becomes abusive, then they should not complain. Abi, expect nothing.

In fact, your wife might as well get pregnant for another man or the husband impregnate the house help and life will continue.

No expectation, no complaint

It's just... the kind of silly talk men come up with to hide their filth is just amazing...

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