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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Is It Wise For A Woman To Give Her Husband Part Of Her Monthly Salary? (38440 Views)
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Re: Is It Wise For A Woman To Give Her Husband Part Of Her Monthly Salary? by Alezy(m): 12:13pm On Oct 27, 2015 |
Re: Is It Wise For A Woman To Give Her Husband Part Of Her Monthly Salary? by Alezy(m): 12:13pm On Oct 27, 2015 |
Re: Is It Wise For A Woman To Give Her Husband Part Of Her Monthly Salary? by QueenSharon(f): 12:44pm On Oct 27, 2015 |
Are you for Real? Atmmachine: |
Re: Is It Wise For A Woman To Give Her Husband Part Of Her Monthly Salary? by Rukkydelta(f): 12:48pm On Oct 27, 2015 |
Alezy:yes |
Re: Is It Wise For A Woman To Give Her Husband Part Of Her Monthly Salary? by Nobody: 1:21pm On Oct 27, 2015 |
At Quertyquack, I am flattered and would like dinner at Yellow Chilli or Terra Culture assuming you are also in Lasgidi i.e Lagos Hey, holla back @ me whenever you see this. After reading your posts in the investment section I think I would like to pick your brain on financial matters. And if Yellow Chilli or Terra Culture is too much of a hassle Debonairs' pizza will do just fine. Lol |
Re: Is It Wise For A Woman To Give Her Husband Part Of Her Monthly Salary? by Daresh(f): 1:56pm On Oct 27, 2015 |
PAPIJAID: I admire you and your wife. However I would advice that you change the name of the properties to both your names. Anything can happen. |
Re: Is It Wise For A Woman To Give Her Husband Part Of Her Monthly Salary? by awa(m): 2:03pm On Oct 27, 2015 |
nawtibownie: Dearie, I have read your comment and I quote: I won't give a lazy husband who's not ready to work up to half of my salary because he's definitely going to blow it up; once again, however, I still can't see where you mentioned or inferred a husband unwilling to work at all. If your husband is working at all then, he must be earning Salary. In Nigeria today, salaries are often times prerogative of Employers to fix. Well, based on your explanation I think your comment is rather connotative than denotative. Next time, I suggest you try to break it down in simpler ways for some of us to truly understand. We no go Cambridge ohhh.... On a friendly note, how is your day going and hope you would be willing to share with me if.... |
Re: Is It Wise For A Woman To Give Her Husband Part Of Her Monthly Salary? by PastorandMentor(m): 2:04pm On Oct 27, 2015 |
You can always tell who a kid is by their comment. 90% of people who comment here are either single and know nothing about marriage. Two people who love each other, who are friends and later decide to marry shouldn't come here asking if it is right for a woman to give part of her salary to her husband(not even boyfriend) what is marriage without understanding? Giving becomes a problem when you don't even understand the union called marriage. The question you should ask "who am I giving to" my spouse or to a stranger? Your spouse is you. Can you be stingy to yourself? You give money to your spouse and you call him lazy? So bad. The reason why marriages never last is because everyone now see just one person as the sole provider. Is that to say a husband shouldn't provide for his family? No! What if he can't and she can? Yes! That is the more reason why you should marry your friend and not just anyone you meet in church or on the way; no wonder I don't force marriages on people that come for counselling. When you marry your friend, outsider won't know who is giving who because the both of you are one and work together. PST Sam Adeyemi would always say he owes his entire success to his wife; you know why? His wife contributed a big part of his life and ministry. When your wife see giving as a big thing, believe me you are doomed. Giving should be mutual. If he can't,she can;and if she can't, he can. That is why marriage is for matured people and not overgrown kids. If you see giving to your spouse as a big thing, then I think you should pause marriage first and attend some seminar or read some books. Many people have zero knowledge about marriage. 3 Likes |
Re: Is It Wise For A Woman To Give Her Husband Part Of Her Monthly Salary? by DorisK(f): 2:31pm On Oct 27, 2015 |
Part? or all of it? hahahaha |
Re: Is It Wise For A Woman To Give Her Husband Part Of Her Monthly Salary? by VickyRotex(f): 2:34pm On Oct 27, 2015 |
IYANGBALI: |
Re: Is It Wise For A Woman To Give Her Husband Part Of Her Monthly Salary? by cassidyAJ(m): 2:41pm On Oct 27, 2015 |
well it depends on the understanding that exist between them both.[i][/i] |
Re: Is It Wise For A Woman To Give Her Husband Part Of Her Monthly Salary? by banio: 4:06pm On Oct 27, 2015 |
If a woman is wealthier than her husband, there is nothing wrong with her giving her husband money. But most women feel bad about it. This is strange, because it shows lack of love, trust and good reasoning 1 Like |
Re: Is It Wise For A Woman To Give Her Husband Part Of Her Monthly Salary? by Nobody: 4:52pm On Oct 27, 2015 |
TooNoisy: Well said |
Re: Is It Wise For A Woman To Give Her Husband Part Of Her Monthly Salary? by nwagbunaese(f): 4:53pm On Oct 27, 2015 |
U mean your galfrnd and nt your wife? hmmmmm i carry hand for that ur galfrnd. i can bring out money to support my home wen i am married. gabazin080: |
Re: Is It Wise For A Woman To Give Her Husband Part Of Her Monthly Salary? by Alezy(m): 5:18pm On Oct 27, 2015 |
Re: Is It Wise For A Woman To Give Her Husband Part Of Her Monthly Salary? by KanayoIkeh(m): 5:20pm On Oct 27, 2015 |
The moment you go into marriage with ideas like 'his money, her money', I'm sorry for you both and the children you'll raise |
Re: Is It Wise For A Woman To Give Her Husband Part Of Her Monthly Salary? by MrOrioye(m): 5:23pm On Oct 27, 2015 |
Janix2: Marriage is an unending project so you’re free to try somethings sometimes (with care) to see if they will work for you. It’s true, women earn more than men these days. Personally, I believe you’re only helping yourself if you submit all you have (EVERYTHING) to your husband. Yes!! Don’t strike me yet…continue reading. It works for some people, and doesn’t for others. All depends on the kind of hubby you have. Different families with different formula. Wether one formula works or not depends on the personalities of the couple. It makes some men lazy (so true), it makes some men sit up and for some others; indifferent. This is a very critical matter in Marriage. In fact, i’d say so many marriages fail because of this. The worse thing is, it gets to a point they don’t remember what is responsible for the problems in the family. This is because men (with pride) pretend this subject doesn’t matter until they start seeing their wife spend on luxuries they can’t afford and maybe when friends begin to notice. An average man won’t come out to say what the problem is, he won’t want his wife to sense he is being intimidated by her actions. Regarding such matters and the likes, christian women want to hurriedly quote 1Tim 5:8 and Eph 5:25 and what i ask them is why jump to verse 25 ignoring verse 22? Well that’s a story for another day. Let me share my own personal experience. I am a married man. Ever since i got married my wife has been practising what so many people on this thread call “the insensible”. She does direct transfer of her entire salary to my account and then comes to me when she needs anything. Its not as if i wasn’t working, i was but she earned more. We pay all bills and shop from my account. Well this act of insensibility has made our union stronger. From day one, up till this moment, money has never caused any argument in our house, not the slightest one. She’s the smartest woman I’ve ever met. It took some time before i understood that if you persistently drop your fetcher in a dry well, you will one day draw out water. At first i thought it wasn't real and that she will change. I’m from a polygamous background and my orientation was that “women are this, women are that, they will ruin you if they know what you’re worth bla bla bla”. To my surprise, 1st yr, 2nd yr, 3rd yr she was 100% consistent (Note: during these years she was earning 40% more that i do). So towards the end of the 3rd yr of our marriage, I started a company and gave her 100% access to all that I have, made her signatory to all my accounts including my company’s account and gave her the PIN to all Cards. Now ask yourself, who pays the bill? Myself or my wife? Who owns all my salary and proceeds from the company? Let me tell you how it helped us 1. During the period she was earning more, i didn’t feel the pressure. And today whenever i remember it, I just text her to say “thank you”. 2. She imprinted the idea of “Money is just a tool” in me. 3. Whenever she requests for anything, I don’t say no. Not even when the amount involved is more than our joint salary. You know why?….She’s set the pace by making that big sacrifice. 4. I can’t spend a dime from "my account" without her consent. You know why? Something tells me inside that all the money is hers and i’ll be a gentle man to ask her permission. 5. I got to that point in a man’s life when i wanted to have extra marital affair. I couldn’t because i didn’t know how to defend monies i withdraw for any purpose other than business or home. And trust me, if its business, she knows everything about my business including all my clients. This is just a summary point but i tell you, it helped me overcome that trial at that particular time. Trust me, all married men gets to this cross road sometime in life and if nothing stops them then their relationship starts to decline. For some men, its conscience; their conscience fights them hard and wins, for some its a single church sermon (or other encounter) at the right time that helps, for me it was the transparency and accountability initiated by my wife that prevented me. 6. Then of course, having our monies together makes us do “everything” together (which is a key factor for transparency and accountability in our home” Let me tell you how it could've been 1. There may not be 100% transparency & accountability. Due to the polygamous background i have, I could've been the kinda hubby that would not let his wife know what he is worth because I'm trying to hide my money (or worth). If you don’t know what he is worth, you’ll ask based on what you are worth or what you perceived him to be worth. That causes crisis because some men like to pretend they have even when they don’t, some like to pretend they don’t have even when they have. It is essential for you to know what the case is always. And for you to know, you will need to have access, for you to have access, you may (like in my case) need to earn it. 2. Who knows? During the times i didn't have much, I may not be able to ask directly and just keep suffering in silence. Trust me if that was the case, we may not be where we are today. This is how it works, whenever a man (not all) is worried especially due to lack of money, he can't have quality sex with you, and in some cases may not have sex with you at all. Now you may be asking yourself “why does it have to get to that point?” Well, situation caused the lack, he has ego, hence may not be able to ask; The fact that he knows you have and you’re not logical enough to understand angers him, and in turn, he will rant at everything you do. Then you’ll be the one to cry to your pastor/neighbour/mentor complaining theres no peace at home. Thank God the later didn’t happen. We’re happy together. Now we both counsel people as a hobby. My advise to you… Know your hubby. Try the peaceful approach first….”submit all”. If you see its not working, halt! address the reason why its not working (he is drinking, flirting, insensibly generous, lazy and so on), after addressing the issue, then resume back. Apparently, Its best to keep both monies on the table and plan. That way you grow fast. The bible calls the woman “a helper”. You can not draw someone up from the ground without you first standing above them, so in that case God knows why you earn more. Except for a shameless man, if you put your husband in charge of your money, you're only employing him as your manager and in turn getting unlimited access to his own purse. In some cases you're using that to show him how you want him to do. You're telling him you trust him with all you have and thereby enhancing transparency and accountability at home. Lastly, you're forcing him to plan with you; trust me, you'll enjoy it when your husband calls you to the table to plan with you. ........Like i said, this doesn't work for a shameless man. 4 Likes |
Re: Is It Wise For A Woman To Give Her Husband Part Of Her Monthly Salary? by quertyquack: 6:09pm On Oct 27, 2015 |
Whoop! You got mail. sihom: |
Re: Is It Wise For A Woman To Give Her Husband Part Of Her Monthly Salary? by Twinkie8: 6:20pm On Oct 27, 2015 |
Is the man jobless or you his father Christmas. I read something similar on Aunty Eya blog. Please check and be informed quertyquack: |
Re: Is It Wise For A Woman To Give Her Husband Part Of Her Monthly Salary? by quertyquack: 6:28pm On Oct 27, 2015 |
Gosh! I couldn't have said it better. I envy you for the kind of wife you have. I earnestly pray for such a lady. It's not rocket science really. There is a bond that sharing creates. You guys should have no secrets. That said, trust is earned. Both ways. MrOrioye: 1 Like |
Re: Is It Wise For A Woman To Give Her Husband Part Of Her Monthly Salary? by englishmart(m): 7:22pm On Oct 27, 2015 |
chimkaire:for peace to reigh, let me just agree with you na 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Is It Wise For A Woman To Give Her Husband Part Of Her Monthly Salary? by Rukkydelta(f): 7:59pm On Oct 27, 2015 |
Alezy:yes |
Re: Is It Wise For A Woman To Give Her Husband Part Of Her Monthly Salary? by simpleseyi: 8:16pm On Oct 27, 2015 |
Miami11: But a man whose wife spends 50% of his salary, their kids spend 25% of his salary, his wife's parents spends 10% of his salary while he and his parents and siblings are left with only 15% is a gentleman. I think you are more mad than Femi Fani Kayode, Ayo Fasyose, Nyesom Wike and Mama Piss combined. 1 Like |
Re: Is It Wise For A Woman To Give Her Husband Part Of Her Monthly Salary? by Alezy(m): 8:24pm On Oct 27, 2015 |
Rukkydelta:Kk. ...errrrnmm, u av a mail |
Re: Is It Wise For A Woman To Give Her Husband Part Of Her Monthly Salary? by Rukkydelta(f): 8:28pm On Oct 27, 2015 |
Alezy:yeah |
Re: Is It Wise For A Woman To Give Her Husband Part Of Her Monthly Salary? by Alezy(m): 8:30pm On Oct 27, 2015 |
Rukkydelta:check! !! |
Re: Is It Wise For A Woman To Give Her Husband Part Of Her Monthly Salary? by emr: 8:36pm On Oct 27, 2015 |
ANY WOMAN THAT CANNOT SUPPORT HER HUSBAND FINANCIALLY, WHO THINKS THE HUSBAND IS TO SERVE HER UNTIL HE DIES WHILE SHE SAVES HER MONEY TO BUILD HOUSES DOES NOT DESERVE TO HAVE A HUSBAND. ANY WOMAN WHO THINKS BEING A WOMAN IS TO BE A BURDEN ON A MAN EVEN WHEN GOD BLESSES HER WITH THE RESOURCES TO DO SO IS SUPPOSED TO LIVE WITHOUT A MAN SO THAT SHE CAN ENJOY HER MONEY TO THE FULLEST. AS A WOMAN IF YOU PRAY THAT WHATEVER YOUR HUSBAND HAS IS YOURS, WHATSOEVER YOU HAVE TOO BELONG TO YOUR HUSBAND |
Re: Is It Wise For A Woman To Give Her Husband Part Of Her Monthly Salary? by jpphilips(m): 10:23am On Oct 28, 2015 |
sihom: Funny how we need "caveat" to spend a woman's money while a man's money just require "asking" for it. Anyways, I blame the guys who are crazy about working ladies, the story is always the same everywhere at anytime. that is why it is a marriage, if you can not afford it, dont get it. 1 Like |
Re: Is It Wise For A Woman To Give Her Husband Part Of Her Monthly Salary? by Evvilgenius: 10:25am On Oct 28, 2015 |
oyeezah: Wife material |
Re: Is It Wise For A Woman To Give Her Husband Part Of Her Monthly Salary? by jpphilips(m): 10:35am On Oct 28, 2015 |
MrOrioye: Impressive!! successful homes actually run on common sense. No religious ambiguity, all fundamental laws were obeyed and fundamental results gotten. Your story is inspiring not because your wife was diligent but because she employed a tool that overtook your personality, she knew the money will only make you buckle up and nothing more, woe betide you if you were the lazy type, you would have been wondering the kinda woman you married. 1 Like |
Re: Is It Wise For A Woman To Give Her Husband Part Of Her Monthly Salary? by oyeezah(f): 10:44am On Oct 28, 2015 |
Evvilgenius:. lol |
Re: Is It Wise For A Woman To Give Her Husband Part Of Her Monthly Salary? by Brayden: 11:19am On Oct 28, 2015 |
You just give it to him? What if he doesn't work any harder since you just hand money over. Wouldn't you worry things like that? |
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