I seem to have this common problem with dating:

After a few weeks of talking, and/or one or two dates, communication ceases without warning. I would send a text message every few days wishing her well. If I call, the phone will just ring to voicemail. If I send any text messages, it will not be returned.

If this had just happened once, I'd quickly get over it. If the girl would simply tell me that she doesn't want to continue, I'd be okay with it. This cessation of communication has been from every single girl that I have talked to, and it has always occured in this fashion.

I don't know what is wrong with me, or what I'm doing wrong. It has gotten to the point where I fear that God doesn't want me to marry, or have a family someday.

Can anyone advise me on what to do?

Orimili:
I seem to have this common problem with dating:

After a few weeks of talking, and/or one or two dates, communication ceases without warning. I would send a text message every few days wishing her well. If I call, the phone will just ring to voicemail. If I send any text messages, it will not be returned.

If this had just happened once, I'd quickly get over it. If the girl would simply tell me that she doesn't want to continue, I'd be okay with it. This cessation of communication has been from every single girl that I have talked to, and it has always occured in this fashion.

I don't know what is wrong with me, or what I'm doing wrong. It has gotten to the point where I fear that God doesn't want me to marry, or have a family someday.

Can anyone advise me on what to do?

Send some of these girls the following message:

I understand you do not want to communicate with me anymore and this is why you do not answer my calls and text messages but I SINCERELY need to know why so that I can avoid such scenarios in the future. I would appreciate it VERY MUCH if you HONESTLY told me why you are no longer interested in dating me. Thank you very much.

Closure is a thing that many people seek at the end of relationships but rarely get.

This more than once scenario though...o n fe adura.

I hope one of the girls would do you a favour and let you know why they're ending stuff.

Mindfulness:


Send some of these girls the following message:

I understand you do not want to communicate with me anymore and this is why you do not answer my calls and text messages but I SINCERELY need to know why so that I can avoid such scenarios in the future. I would appreciate it VERY MUCH if you HONESTLY told me why you are no longer interested in dating me. Thank you very much.

I've done this before, twice. In both instances, there was no answer. I know at least one read the message because she has an iPhone, and the message app indicated that, not only has she received it, but that she actually read it and did not reply.

Orimili:


I've done this before, twice. In both instances, there was no answer. I know at least one read the message because she has an iPhone, and the message app indicated that, not only has she received it, but that she actually read it and did not reply.

Maybe they all thought you were a bore.

You need to stop pleasing them at your own expense.

Orimili:


I've done this before, twice. In both instances, there was no answer. I know at least one read the message because she has an iPhone, and the message app indicated that, not only has she received it, but that she actually read it and did not reply.

I don't know what words you have chosen to ask them and since you have nothing to lose, pick some other girls and send them the exact same message I suggested and let us see what happens. We have to get to the heart of the problem and we will.

I am sure God does want you to find what you are looking for. Never believe anything else. You are loved.

MzNelly:


Maybe they all thought you were a bore.

You need to stop pleasing them at your own expense.

If I am, I wish someone would tell me than to just disappear, every single time.

It has gotten to the point where I have started to develop an anxiety around meeting new peoole actively avoid it.

Orimili:


If I am, I wish someone would tell me than to just disappear, every single time.

It has gotten to the point where I have started to develop an anxiety around meeting new peoole actively avoid it.

Oh puh-lease, NO girl would tell you you're a bore. No girl.
It doesn't work that way.

Don't develop any anxiety at all.
Just work on your interpersonal relationship.

MzNelly:


Oh puh-lease, NO girl would tell you you're a bore. No girl.
It doesn't work that way.

Don't develop any anxiety at all.
Just work on your interpersonal relationship.

Then you have not met my sister, she will tell bluntly that and what she doesn't like about a guy, not on the phone but in a face-to-face interaction.

Mindfulness:



Then you have not met my sister, she will tell bluntly that and what she doesn't like about a guy, not on the phone but in a face-to-face interaction.

What kind of toothpaste, dp you use?

Kikikiiikiikikikukiikuukukuu!


Don't worry God's time is the best!

Mindfulness:



Then you have not met my sister, she will tell bluntly that and what she doesn't like about a guy, not on the phone but in a face-to-face interaction.

that's the real deal

niggi4life:
I have also been in your shoes before so remember you are not alone.
You must remember one thing, communication is a two way thing, just take a walkie talkie for example, if u at End A says hello, the other at d end must respond, if the person doesn't you end the call.
It must be mutual, i guess you just haven't find someone that tickles your fancy and therr is nothing wrong about that, don't force yourself to make anybody happy, u will end up displeasing yourself.
Take time to go out, meet new people face to face and laugh more

But none of that works when you say hello one day, and there is no response. It's difficult now to want to go out to meet new people when you know that this will be the outcome 100% of the time. Every single girl I have met has gone silennt and disappeared within weeks.

I feel like I'm getting older, and will, at some point, be unattractive to anyone of child bearing age. I don't know what it is about me that makes me so undesirable.

Op you are not alone, I have experienced this severally. Right now I have temporarily retired from the dating scene although I have had several successes with women far more than my failures. One thing I noticed is desperation, a woman can sense desperation from afar and this is a huge turn off for them. Also up the ante on your romance, don't do the usual things guys do cos it will bore them to death. Call sparingly and before you go after any girl make sure she is really really interested in you.

tollu:
Closure is a thing that many people seek at the end of relationships but rarely get.

This more than once scenario though...o n fe adura.

I hope one of the girls would do you a favour and let you know why they're ending stuff.

As in eh, adura nla gan ni

Or maybe it's something that has to do with the OP which they think it's too embarrassing to discuss

You are not an interesting person

Many guys that have this disease of been boring don't seem to know and the keep disturbing you that "whats the problem"

See spice up your life and you will see changes.

Bisjosh:
You are not an interesting person

Many guys that have this disease of been boring don't seem to know and the keep disturbing you that "whats the problem"

See spice up your life and you will see changes.

And how do I "spice up my life" in a fashion that a woman would think I'm not boring?

Orimili:


And how do I "spice up my life" in a fashion that a woman would think I'm not boring?

Make some money...or if you already have some of that, learn how to use it to your advantage.

Anytime a girl you're interested in visits, you don't have to talk too much...just put on the TV and leave the remote with her to select what she wants to watch while you go into the kitchen to prepare something, even if its indomie and eggs.

Trust me, if at the end of this she still considers you boring...then your village people are after you.

Mindfulness:


Send some of these girls the following message:

I understand you do not want to communicate with me anymore and this is why you do not answer my calls and text messages but I SINCERELY need to know why so that I can avoid such scenarios in the future. I would appreciate it VERY MUCH if you HONESTLY told me why you are no longer interested in dating me. Thank you very much.

Da fvck is this?
Is she his therapist?

Dude, any girl you send this to will probably not reply because typing this makes you sound like a sad whiny little boy.
Any girl that doesn't take your call or reply your messages is entitled to some space...let her be for a few weeks or a month and then call again.
If she's still not taking your calls, then forget about her and drop her like a sack of hot cow shiit.


Sorry Mindfulness

crackhaus:

Make some money...or if you already have some of that, learn how to use it to your advantage.

Anytime a girl you're interested in visits, you don't have to talk too much...just put on the TV and leave the remote with her to select what she wants to watch while you go into the kitchen to prepare something, even if its indomie and eggs.

Trust me, if at the end of this she still considers you boring...then your village people are after you.

Most of the time, we would go out somewhere. I'm a full time student, and work at night while building a large savings. I don't have much of a night life, nor am I too worldly, so I am unsure of where to go or what to do in the rare instance that I have a night off.

On top of all that, it seems like most girls just want someone who is experienced in every aspect of life. I worry that I have nothing to offer in such a modern world.

Orimili:


Most of the time, we would go out somewhere. I'm a full time student, and work at night while building a large savings. I don't have much of a night life, nor am I too worldly, so I am unsure of where to go or what to do in the rare instance that I have a night off.

On top of all that, it seems like most girls just want someone who is experienced in every aspect of life. I worry that I have nothing to offer in such a modern world.

Now I'm all teary eyed

Then maybe you've been fishing in the wrong ocean. Try and develop friendship with people who share same values with you and with whom you can have a great discussion. Then elevate any of these friends you dem fit to a higher status so the shock factor of who you are is reduced greatly. Any girl that leaves you for who you are may not be worth it after all.

Op get a job and a car and do they will start floating.ur messages are just 2 naira MTN to other networks

Orimili:


Most of the time, we would go out somewhere. I'm a full time student, and work at night while building a large savings. I don't have much of a night life, nor am I too worldly, so I am unsure of where to go or what to do in the rare instance that I have a night off.

On top of all that, it seems like most girls just want someone who is experienced in every aspect of life. I worry that I have nothing to offer in such a modern world.

Your problem is less about you thinking most girls want someone experienced and more about you trying too hard and beating yourself up...
And over what? Chics not returning your calls? Dude, don't!

If you're so unsure of where to go or what to do, then make her pick the spot...or better still, use a conversation to find out things she's interested in and pick a spot for a date that revolves around her own interests.
Remember, its all about distracting her enough for her not to notice that you're not very sleek...

Learn from each past date, and improve on them on your own by paying attention and manipulating scenarios to get the desired effect... Don't be bothered about what to say or what to do, just SAY and DO!
You will win some, and you will lose some...that you're still on your losing streak doesn't mean you won't win somewhere down the line - with women, it's not that serious.

NEVER seem desperate!

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crackhaus:

Your problem is less about you thinking most girls want someone experienced and more about you trying too hard and beating yourself up...
And over what? Chics not returning your calls? Dude, don't!

If you're so unsure of where to go or what to do, then make her pick the spot...or better still, use a conversation to find out things she's interested in and pick a spot for a date that revolves around her own interests.
Remember, its all about distracting her enough for her not to notice that you're not very sleek...

Learn from each past date, and improve on them on your own by paying attention and manipulating scenarios to get the desired effect... Don't be bothered about what to say or what to do, just SAY and DO!
You will win some, and you will lose some...that you're still on your losing streak doesn't mean you won't win somewhere down the line - with women, it's not that serious.

NEVER seem desperate!

That seems like good advice... If I ever make it that far. It seems that if I ask them to choose a place, it would look like I don't know how to lead.

I remember one girl asking me how long it's been since I've been on a date, and I replied "about five years." She then asked me what was wrong with me, if I were gay.

That last date, the girl stopped talking to me when the topic of sexuality came up and I told her I am aa virgin. She took shock to it and said it wasn't normal for someone my age to not have had sex on a regular basis. She stopped responding to my communication afterwards.

I never seem desperate. I play it as cool as I can, but inside, I feel more dead and useless as the days go on.

I'm in on the quest! What could be wrong with you? How old are u? Do you have disabilities? Are you slow in thoughts and attitude? Are you a slobby kisser? Are you a garrulous person? Do you have attitude issues? Are you too broke? Etc. Let's find out what the problem is !

Although, life is funny. It is actually to your advantage that girls who don't want you avoid you, managing you might be to your detriment. Guys who turn to cashcows and doormats aren't really wanted...

sisisioge:


I'm in on the quest! What could be wrong with you? How old are u? Do you have disabilities? Are you slow in thoughts and attitude? Are you a slobby kisser? Are you a garrulous person? Do you have attitude issues? Are you too broke? Etc. Let's find out what the problem is !

Although, life is funny. It is actually to your advantage that girls who don't want you avoid you, managing you might be to your detriment. Guys who turn to cashcows and doormats aren't really wanted...

I'm close to 30 years old. I'm very physically fit with no disabilities. I don't think I'm slow. I don't know how well I kiss. The last time I've kissed anyone was years ago. Im not sure if I have attitude issues, and I'm not broke.

Orimili:


I'm close to 30 years old. I'm very physically fit with no disabilities. I don't think I'm slow. I don't know how well I kiss. The last time I've kissed anyone was years ago. Im not sure if I have attitude issues, and I'm not broke.

OK. We are getting close...

...but you mentioned you were a virgin. Truth is girls don't like virgins. You probably should keep that bit of info to yourself until the girl has grown really fond of you. I personally can't imagine dating a virgin, that's taking me back a decade!

sisisioge:


OK. We are getting close...

...but you mentioned you were a virgin. Truth is girls don't like virgins. You probably should keep that bit of info to yourself until the girl has grown really fond of you. I personally can't imagine dating a virgin, that's taking me back a decade!

I haven't mentioned that since years ago. Unfortunately, that will come up in conversation at some point, and I'm not going to lie about it.

Orimili:


I haven't mentioned that since years ago. Unfortunately, that will come up in conversation at some point, and I'm not going to lie about it.

OK...


Have you been seeking girls looking to be hitched too? If you two started out on the same page , chances are that you would over look imperfections. I think you should look for girls looking for guys .