Stats: 3,192,220 members, 7,947,121 topics. Date: Thursday, 12 September 2024 at 12:48 PM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Her Dad Is Sleeping With Her! Who Does She Tell? (2570 Views)
My Friend Is Sleeping With His 13-Year-Old Daughter / Lady Justifies Why Her Dad Is Married To 6 Wives, Says He Is Too Cute (Photos) / 4 Signs Your Wife Is Sleeping With Other Men (2) (3) (4)
Her Dad Is Sleeping With Her! Who Does She Tell? by Nobody: 12:51pm On Oct 30, 2015 |
I got an email from a young girl days back. She said she read a post from my blog and was really inspired. Then she went into detail about the domestic abuse in her home. She's fifteen, lives with both her parents. She started with telling me years back, her mother threw her older sister out of the house. She was too young to know what happened then. She'd ask her parents but they brushed it aside. She eventually found out her sister was pregnant then for their dad. What she didn't understand was why her mother took it out on her sister but did nothing to their dad. She was eleven when her dad first started having carnal knowledge of her. Her parents fight a lot. Her mum ends up getting beaten all the time, she'd tell friends and relatives cock and bull tales or hide the bruises with makeup. Her mum isn't really an angel either, she's a hard person to be with. The thing is, years of abuse and physical violence is taking it's toll on her. She doesn't have friends because nobody likes her. She refuses to talk so everybody feels she's overbearing and proud. It doesn't help that her parents are popular and well respected people both in their community and at Church. She concluded by telling me she's making efforts to contact her sister so she can leave with her. But before then, she needs advice because she's been driven into contemplating suicide. I didn't find it surprising or shocking because I'm aware first hand of what domestic violence and abuse entails. I still haven't replied her mail, I hate to think of the social stigmatization that would follow her revealing her father's dirty acts, I feel horrified she can't even confide in her mother. I don't think leaving with her sister might be the best depending on what her sister is currently up to. I just don't know what to tell her. Help me here. 1 Like |
Re: Her Dad Is Sleeping With Her! Who Does She Tell? by Nobody: 12:51pm On Oct 30, 2015 |
hmmm, let her summon courage and tell her dad's family, her mother might throw her out just like she did to her sister, moreover, the parents are naught and the man is evil/wizard 2 Likes |
Re: Her Dad Is Sleeping With Her! Who Does She Tell? by Pineapp: 1:02pm On Oct 30, 2015 |
Let her go to her school counsellor and table the issue and they will take it up from there. |
Re: Her Dad Is Sleeping With Her! Who Does She Tell? by Nobody: 1:05pm On Oct 30, 2015 |
Asking her sister to help her is the best decision she can possibly make for now. I hope her sister is willing to help. Is the girl based in Nigeria? 2 Likes |
Re: Her Dad Is Sleeping With Her! Who Does She Tell? by Nobody: 1:09pm On Oct 30, 2015 |
Mindfulness:Yeah she is. Like I said, it depends on the sister, let's not jump into conclusions. Her sister could be doing fine actually, but she could also be doing not so fine. We can only hope she's doing fine can't we? |
Re: Her Dad Is Sleeping With Her! Who Does She Tell? by Nobody: 1:10pm On Oct 30, 2015 |
JustTara: I pray she does. |
Re: Her Dad Is Sleeping With Her! Who Does She Tell? by Nobody: 1:17pm On Oct 30, 2015 |
Mindfulness:Girls become lesbians because of these, not to forget mothers who sleep with their sons. |
Re: Her Dad Is Sleeping With Her! Who Does She Tell? by Juxtified(m): 1:18pm On Oct 30, 2015 |
Mindfulness:True. Let her locate her sister and two of them can work together in deciding wether to report the issue (to the police or family relatives) or not. Besides having someone close by who has gone through your current situation helps a great deal 1 Like |
Re: Her Dad Is Sleeping With Her! Who Does She Tell? by lilmax(m): 1:23pm On Oct 30, 2015 |
Evidence is the most important thing right now for his arrest, after that report to the church 1 Like |
Re: Her Dad Is Sleeping With Her! Who Does She Tell? by Nobody: 1:26pm On Oct 30, 2015 |
lilmax:What will the church do? |
Re: Her Dad Is Sleeping With Her! Who Does She Tell? by thorpido(m): 1:31pm On Oct 30, 2015 |
Well respected people in the church?I wish she could approach the pastor of the church and tell him/her what is going on.Charity should begin at home(church).The 'Church' really has to know what is going on in some homes. I don't think her mum is in the best position to handle this.She doesn't seem stable herself. If the pastor of their church is a man of good repute,that will be who to go to. 1 Like |
Re: Her Dad Is Sleeping With Her! Who Does She Tell? by Nobody: 1:32pm On Oct 30, 2015 |
JustTara: The church will counsel her aright, pray for her and support her. She would need people around her when the bubble busts and things spiral. The church would do that. Then she would need to see a psychologists as well. She needs to be rewired out of the mess her father has put her in |
Re: Her Dad Is Sleeping With Her! Who Does She Tell? by Nobody: 1:35pm On Oct 30, 2015 |
thorpido:Why is everyone sidelining the relatives? |
Re: Her Dad Is Sleeping With Her! Who Does She Tell? by Nobody: 1:35pm On Oct 30, 2015 |
JustTara: Off topic. 2 Likes |
Re: Her Dad Is Sleeping With Her! Who Does She Tell? by Nobody: 1:38pm On Oct 30, 2015 |
Generals03:Can't her relatives do that? My reason being, you never really know the personal lives of the church members yourself. At least the relatives are blood and may be more willing to protect her. But then again, we can't attest for either of their characters and reactions. Not every church is dependable these days. |
Re: Her Dad Is Sleeping With Her! Who Does She Tell? by Nobody: 1:40pm On Oct 30, 2015 |
Mindfulness:I don't think so as being a lesbian may be an after effect in her future. And I wanted to draw attention to the fact that it happens to boys too. |
Re: Her Dad Is Sleeping With Her! Who Does She Tell? by lilmax(m): 1:42pm On Oct 30, 2015 |
JustTara:again it depends on the church,a good church will help in offering a well preserved and protected apartment |
Re: Her Dad Is Sleeping With Her! Who Does She Tell? by thorpido(m): 1:46pm On Oct 30, 2015 |
JustTara:Relatives would have been the first point of call but the question is what kind of relationship does she have with them? Maybe I should have asked what relationship she has with the relatives first.When the sister was thrown out,who did she go to stay with? |
Re: Her Dad Is Sleeping With Her! Who Does She Tell? by Nobody: 1:48pm On Oct 30, 2015 |
JustTara: Ther reality is that one or two relatives will support you but most relatives actually do not have your time on the long run. They have their own busy events and wahala to handle themselves not to mention another person's own. They prefer to gossip it amongst their friends and co-workers than put in prolonged spirited effort in the rehabilitation of the girl. This may not always be the case though but you find that most likely in recent times relatives support is not always the solution on the long run. Meanwhile a true bible believer church are under the Lord's authority to care for and share with the girl until she is finally rehabilitated and well improved. They are bound by the Higher law care for cases such as this. Nothwithstanding, I will pick the church (Moral, Spiritual and financial support), and Relatives (Financial) and lastly the psychologist (Mental) as the solution to this girls case. If she embraces the 3, she will have her problem solved pretty soon. |
Re: Her Dad Is Sleeping With Her! Who Does She Tell? by thorpido(m): 1:57pm On Oct 30, 2015 |
Generals03:I support this. Yes,we do have many unreliable people in the church these days but if you have a local assembly that is of good repute,they are the best to handle this issue. Some relatives could do too but my problem with relatives is denial.If it's the father's side,they could claim their son would never do such.If it's the mother's side,it could just turn to an issue of gossip and all what not.Not many people want to take on the burden of an extended family member nowadays. |
Re: Her Dad Is Sleeping With Her! Who Does She Tell? by Captainswag225(m): 2:03pm On Oct 30, 2015 |
She needs to tell her mother's relatives (her aunt or uncle or grandmother. This people will support her and even take her to live them. |
Re: Her Dad Is Sleeping With Her! Who Does She Tell? by Nobody: 2:10pm On Oct 30, 2015 |
Generals03:It all depends on the church. The members are also people's relatives and if their relatives can't go to them first, I don't see them helping the girl. I hope you get me. |
Re: Her Dad Is Sleeping With Her! Who Does She Tell? by Nobody: 2:12pm On Oct 30, 2015 |
thorpido:Exactly! Much is left to be asked. Why didn't the church members uncover it too? |
Re: Her Dad Is Sleeping With Her! Who Does She Tell? by Nobody: 2:16pm On Oct 30, 2015 |
How young is the young girl? |
Re: Her Dad Is Sleeping With Her! Who Does She Tell? by thorpido(m): 2:19pm On Oct 30, 2015 |
JustTara:They can't know except someone brings it up.There's a lot going on in some homes that the church is not aware of but that is why you have groups like the counselling unit etc in church to offer solutions to issues like this. When the mother drove away the sister,who did she go to stay with and if it was a relative,did they get to know why? |
Re: Her Dad Is Sleeping With Her! Who Does She Tell? by Nobody: 2:47pm On Oct 30, 2015 |
thorpido:The same excuse the parents used on the relatives might have been used on the church. People are more gullible than we know. You do have a standing point but the relatives should be given the benefit of doubt. |
Re: Her Dad Is Sleeping With Her! Who Does She Tell? by Sultan5(m): 5:38pm On Oct 30, 2015 |
What i will say is she should go to the police station and give a complete account of her life so far. There is only so much a school, church or relative can do as long as the mother will obviously denial it all and propably try to pin it on all this little girl. I dont know where she lives but i have seen police backed by the court with little or no evidence save girls from such situations here in Warri. So my advice is first thing she should do is make her way to the nearest police station and give a COMPLETE account of her life. Including the sis departure. After this the sister should be brought into it before the relatives or church can be wheeled in. If she's scared to go alone she could ask a very close friend to accompany her or a female teacher. Or her principal. Please very important the parents should not be confronted without the police knowing whats going on. Please its dangerous as they could send her to God knows where or they could all just disappear(speaking from experience). I know people dont trust the police but in delicate situations like this they should be your FIRST option. If they(police) fail then you find the nearest court and lay a complaint. Its just my little opinion tho. Hopes she finds favour |
Re: Her Dad Is Sleeping With Her! Who Does She Tell? by cococandy(f): 6:18pm On Oct 30, 2015 |
Poor child. The mom that should at least protect them has had her senses beaten out of her. She will watch her kids die before she stands up to the useless husband. OP if you can forward her email to any NGO that specializes in cases like this, that may help. Otherwise I don't know. 1 Like |
Re: Her Dad Is Sleeping With Her! Who Does She Tell? by cococandy(f): 6:19pm On Oct 30, 2015 |
andromida:I think she said 15 |
Re: Her Dad Is Sleeping With Her! Who Does She Tell? by Nobody: 7:06pm On Oct 30, 2015 |
cococandy: I missed that. Thank you. 1 Like |
Re: Her Dad Is Sleeping With Her! Who Does She Tell? by Nobody: 7:35am On Oct 31, 2015 |
cococandy:so far, this is the best response I've gotten. I didn't even think of it. 2 Likes |
Re: Her Dad Is Sleeping With Her! Who Does She Tell? by Stillfire: 7:12pm On Oct 31, 2015 |
JustTara: Reach out to this people. http://www.projectalertnig.org/ Contact Project Alert on Violence Against Women (PROJECT ALERT) Address: 21, Akinsanya Street Off Isheri Road, Taiwo Bus stop (Behind FRSC) Ojodu - Berger P.O.Box 15456, Ikeja Lagos, Nigeria Telephone/E-mail: 234-1-8209387; 08052004698; 08180091072 projectalert@projectalertnig.org info@projectalertnig.org ABUJA OFFICE 26 Bamenda Street, Off Abidjan Street, Wuse Zone 3 Telephone: 234 -8708618 |
Woman Gives Birth To Monster Looking Child In Edo(photo) / If You Love Me,you Must Quarrel With Me / The Unspoken Words Of A House Girl
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 62 |