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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / The Stigmatisation Of Unmarried/single Working Adult Nigerians (42076 Views)
Any Married Lady Who Never Had This Is As Good As unmarried. / The Stigmatisation Of Unmarried/single Working Adult Nigerians / 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. (2) (3) (4)
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The Stigmatisation Of Unmarried/single Working Adult Nigerians by StarboyMichael(m): 4:54am On Nov 05, 2015 |
My friend wrote this and I want to share. Let me first declare that this post was inspired by a Facebook post by a friend. She narrated that she heard a pastor telling the married women in his congregation not to be friends with single women...the reason for his advice is that he believes they will be misled by their unmarried/single friends. Well I am not ready to join issue with this pastor, but I will like to use this opportunity to join issue with Nigerian society as a whole. Personally, I have always believed that Nigerians have a very misguided, perverted and warped idea of a relationship or marriage. I said so because I am talking from experience. An average Nigerian believes that once a man or woman is working, the next thing is for him or her to get married. Everywhere you go, you are bombarded with the questions of "when are you getting married?", "do you know time is going?", "what are you waiting for?", etc. In fact, the pressure is so much that if you are not a strong person, you will start thinking that you have a problem. Now let everyone listen to me, if you are married, congratulations and I wish you well. But it is an invasion of privacy to be asking people when they are getting married. And it is wrong of you to disrespect people because they are not married. Some people even think single or unmarried people are irresponsible or lose. If you are a man, some people will also insinuate that may be you are impotent. #smile. I have seen situations where some married people believe you should accord them special respect because they are married and you are not. Let me continue by saying that I am not married and I don't need anybody's advice on why I am not yet married. I personally will not tolerate disrespect from anyone because I am not married. Neither will I accord anyone special respect because he or she is married. I will only respect you if you deserve my respect, whether you are married or single is immaterial to me. Finally, let it be clear that single or unmarried status is not a disease that needs to be cured. And to all the single and unmarried people out there, your destiny is in your own hands. Whether you allow the society to make you feel inadequate or not, depends on you. Always remember that there is nothing wrong with you. Also, know that everybody cannot get married at the same time. In fact, I don't have problem with anyone who doesn't want to get married at all. Thank you and share your thoughts. 315 Likes 52 Shares |
Re: The Stigmatisation Of Unmarried/single Working Adult Nigerians by Cutehector(m): 5:29am On Nov 05, 2015 |
Guy relax....... Ur blood dey hot 25 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: The Stigmatisation Of Unmarried/single Working Adult Nigerians by Henrypraise: 5:44am On Nov 05, 2015 |
Once u start workin, even ur enemy wants u to get married. In my former office, I was given a 30days, in 1 week off, wen I tried to protest, I was told m not married n it shud remain like dat. Whereas d married once stay in d office doin almost notin. 18 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: The Stigmatisation Of Unmarried/single Working Adult Nigerians by naijathings(m): 5:54am On Nov 05, 2015 |
if u no marry, wahala. if u no born, wahala. and worst of all, it is everybody's business. if u no marry, wahala. if u no born, wahala. and worst of all, it is everybody's business. Go to school, make sure you stay away from girls and face your books, Don't go to that church, go to this one because they have a strong pastor, join one or more groups in the church, read your books, you must graduate and go for NYSC with your mates, Submit 1,000 CVs, Give your first salary to the church so God will not allow anything happen to your job, Pay Tithe, Pay tithe, Pay Tithe, remember your junior ones and don't forget to pay their school fees, When will you SETTLE DOWN ? When will you SETTLE DOWN ? Don't Marry this one, her eyes are wider than your own, Don't Marry this one, she is from a wayward family, Don't Marry this one, she is from OSU family, her mother is a witch, she is abiku, her father is a poor man. I hope you have started trying to make babies ? I hope your wife will give us a baby boy to carry the family name because these girls will soon go to another family. 91 Likes 11 Shares |
Re: The Stigmatisation Of Unmarried/single Working Adult Nigerians by SAMBARRY: 5:57am On Nov 05, 2015 |
Op abi Michael. Wait the go and marry crew will soon come for your head.I hope you have sharpened your mouth and wore helmet and bullet proof because they will soon come. I assure you ![]() 7 Likes 2 Shares
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Re: The Stigmatisation Of Unmarried/single Working Adult Nigerians by 3Dee(m): 6:35am On Nov 05, 2015 |
Henrypraise: Bros, I thought I was the only one in that shoe until I came upon ur post. The stigmatisation is real bro. There's even this man at my work place that normally ask after my mum anytime I greet him---meaning I'm still a boy who's probably living under mummy's roof and eating mummy thank you food. Can you imagine!!! ![]() I still dey count am for the guy, the day wey I go surprise am with slaps don dey ripe. ![]() ![]() Just watch out Una go hear for nairaland. ![]() 194 Likes 14 Shares |
Re: The Stigmatisation Of Unmarried/single Working Adult Nigerians by menix(m): 6:41am On Nov 05, 2015 |
Lamentation of a 'play boy/Gay/Lesbian/Feminist' Just watch, even those wowo galz no man dey price will also come to support this lamentation.. If u re being stigmatized enta market, ring no cost, it will stop people asking you queshions.. 22 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: The Stigmatisation Of Unmarried/single Working Adult Nigerians by Nobody: 6:42am On Nov 05, 2015 |
Wow......it did make front page. Anyways.....it ain't being easy being single. I myself have been repeatedly asked when I am getting married as well, when I would settle down, and all such things. The thing is, people seem to think that being single means that you are somehow ''strange'', 'funny'', abnormal....even of aberrant sexuality.It isn't. I am not lonely, I work for my living, and I contribute my quota as a member of society. I view my singleness now as preparation for the life of marriage. Perhaps living without a partner right now will probably help me appreciate living with a partner in the future all the more.Also helps with the discipline bit. I am not single by choice.I just think that marriage should be with someone you genuinely love, not just some girl whom you like randomly.I also do not want to get married because it is expected of me, or because I must have children. Marriage is not just something you do to tick some invisible checklist....it is for life, and it is for keeps. So,it must be approached carefully....and it must not be done for the looks bit(One problem I have, and still have is that I am a looks person....I am slowly learning to judge people by their inner selves....not by their good looks)., or the sex bit. To any single person reading this....by all means desire marriage. Don't get married because you have to, get married because you want to, and because you cannot imagine living without that other person. And if that other person does not love you, the true test of love is if you are ready to let that person go....and you move on with life. 91 Likes 12 Shares |
Re: The Stigmatisation Of Unmarried/single Working Adult Nigerians by freshness2020: 6:42am On Nov 05, 2015 |
Don't mind us Jare.. We too dey drink panadol for another man's headache.. 12 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: The Stigmatisation Of Unmarried/single Working Adult Nigerians by Helkayklassic(m): 6:42am On Nov 05, 2015 |
That's our society for u. |
Re: The Stigmatisation Of Unmarried/single Working Adult Nigerians by chiefololade: 6:43am On Nov 05, 2015 |
It's a very serious issue that Buhari has to address quickly, body language cannot do anything here ![]() 45 Likes 1 Share |
Re: The Stigmatisation Of Unmarried/single Working Adult Nigerians by Innodon(m): 6:43am On Nov 05, 2015 |
Following 2 Likes |
Re: The Stigmatisation Of Unmarried/single Working Adult Nigerians by Nobody: 6:43am On Nov 05, 2015 |
Marriage, I detest the institution with passion.... 10 Likes |
Re: The Stigmatisation Of Unmarried/single Working Adult Nigerians by Greenhero(m): 6:43am On Nov 05, 2015 |
Hmmm 1 Like |
Re: The Stigmatisation Of Unmarried/single Working Adult Nigerians by kennyman2000(m): 6:44am On Nov 05, 2015 |
Nice one Op... Goodmorning nairalanders, wish you everyone all the best of today! Check my signature for ur customised wristbands. 3 Likes |
Re: The Stigmatisation Of Unmarried/single Working Adult Nigerians by cuvox(m): 6:44am On Nov 05, 2015 |
That's how I told my friends that till I have nothing less than N10m in my account I won't think of getting married and they be like; "how much them take dey do marriage? you wan make the whole world money first?" etc None of them even bothered to ask me why. shey no be bad thing if I keep N4m for my kids primary education first knowing I am still working.... as if their opinions go pay bills when you done Rush enter finish. I have seen lovely couples quarrel because of money. I no wan born Pikin wey go suffer haba... I wan marry angel but I gats prepare heaven for her and my unborn kids first . infact that N10m is manage. na for a start sha Abegi, if you are single and working, no fear. remember, marriage Na till death do una part (even the court is death) no go carry jump enter. marriage is much more than the wedding. make them dey discriminate dey go 62 Likes |
Re: The Stigmatisation Of Unmarried/single Working Adult Nigerians by 989900: 6:44am On Nov 05, 2015 |
naijathings: ![]() In their weird mind, a married man/woman with 3-5 side chicks/guys is more responsible than an unmarried single -- what kind of reasoning is that? 57 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: The Stigmatisation Of Unmarried/single Working Adult Nigerians by Owliver(m): 6:44am On Nov 05, 2015 |
3Dee: ![]() ![]() ![]() 13 Likes |
Re: The Stigmatisation Of Unmarried/single Working Adult Nigerians by missionmex(m): 6:44am On Nov 05, 2015 |
Good thought. No one is the societies standard. Follow ur heart. 2 Likes |
Re: The Stigmatisation Of Unmarried/single Working Adult Nigerians by babafirst(m): 6:45am On Nov 05, 2015 |
I am surprised this is coming from a guy because society believes men have the 'toasting rights'(and normally a man proposes) hence a man has no excuse for being single at a particular age,especially if the man is seen jumping from one woman to the other.I believe this post better suits the ladies. 4 Likes |
Re: The Stigmatisation Of Unmarried/single Working Adult Nigerians by ichidodo: 6:45am On Nov 05, 2015 |
This need not happen. .. |
Re: The Stigmatisation Of Unmarried/single Working Adult Nigerians by Nobody: 6:45am On Nov 05, 2015 |
True 1 Like |
Re: The Stigmatisation Of Unmarried/single Working Adult Nigerians by Funjosh(m): 6:45am On Nov 05, 2015 |
Ok 1 Like |
Re: The Stigmatisation Of Unmarried/single Working Adult Nigerians by Nobody: 6:45am On Nov 05, 2015 |
. |
Re: The Stigmatisation Of Unmarried/single Working Adult Nigerians by Mintayo(m): 6:46am On Nov 05, 2015 |
Op, when will you get married? Time is not on your side! ![]() 13 Likes 1 Share |
Re: The Stigmatisation Of Unmarried/single Working Adult Nigerians by jayriginal: 6:46am On Nov 05, 2015 |
All the bachelors and machelors showing themselves here. 3 Likes |
Re: The Stigmatisation Of Unmarried/single Working Adult Nigerians by Nobody: 6:46am On Nov 05, 2015 |
![]() 1 Like |
Re: The Stigmatisation Of Unmarried/single Working Adult Nigerians by Moneyyy: 6:46am On Nov 05, 2015 |
. 4 Likes |
Re: The Stigmatisation Of Unmarried/single Working Adult Nigerians by Ask4bigneyo(m): 6:46am On Nov 05, 2015 |
Genevieve, Where art thou? 5 Likes |
Re: The Stigmatisation Of Unmarried/single Working Adult Nigerians by Gelengelen: 6:46am On Nov 05, 2015 |
i fvcked bola last nite réal hard.... tonite ils Esther's turn for réal fvcking watch out 2 Likes 2 Shares |
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