EnlightenedSoul:


Her feelings aren't your problem. Politely tell her you're not interested and move on.

Some ladies can become so emotional and may even develop this seething hatred towards the guy , while her feelings aren't anybody's problem it really gets to some guys that someone thinks that badly about them , I would .

neoapocalypse:


Some ladies can become so emotional and may even develop this seething hatred towards the guy , while her feelings aren't anybody's problem it really gets to some guys that someone thinks that badly about them , I would .

That is truly pathetic, and particularly reminiscent of African American guys here. Your only job is to convey your stance politely. Never date anyone out of pity, or because they threw a fit. If you're so concerned, you can dress it up with a pretty lie, but by doing that you're only prolonging your predicament. The truth remains unrivaled in its briskness and sheer simplicity.

BarcaBlood:



am just trying to be considerate tho

You're a lady

a guy u have a huge crush on, or even love tells u that, how will u feel?

Considerate conschmiderate. What, by giving into the weak advice of that John guy? By failing utterly in seeing its obvious flaws, purely because you're afraid of what the girl might say?

I've never asked a guy out in my life, but any time you put yourself out there, in whatever area, you do so with the possibility of getting shot down. Rejection is part of life. You win some. You lose some. You move the f on. In truth, you're not helping anyone by trying to cushion 'the blow'. Just be polite.

BarcaBlood:


sounds sensible tho, maybe i'll do it afterall, tho i only have sex with girls am attracted to but i guess a trial wouldn't hurt


but you still haven't told me how i can turn them down without hurting their feeling

no clue for nw,cos when they want it and u did give,they will very angry wit u

EnlightenedSoul:


Considerate conschmiderate. What, by giving into the weak advice of that John guy? By failing utterly in seeing its obvious flaws, purely because you're afraid of what the girl might say?

I've never asked a guy out in my life, but any time you put yourself out there, in whatever area, you do so with the possibility of getting shot down. Rejection is part of life. You win some. You lose some. You move the f on. In truth, you're not helping anyone by trying to cushion 'the blow'. Just be polite.

Women; can't understand them, can't live without them. A guy tries 2 be nice, he's labelled boring/dumb/impotent. he plays along and he's bad/a player. @neoapocalypse seemed to get it but you seem to not care about the guy's feeling for trying to be 'just polite'

BarcaBlood:



Women; can't understand them, can't live without them. A guy tries 2 be nice, he's labelled boring/dumb/impotent. he plays along and he's bad/a player. @neoapocalypse seemed to get it but you seem to not care about the guy's feeling for trying to be 'just polite'

What's not to understand? You guys are always on this mystifying, curious af, bullshyt claim about shyt being complicated and hard to grasp when its actually staring you square in the face. You need to spare me. I won't play.

EnlightenedSoul:


That is truly pathetic, and particularly reminiscent of African American guys here. Your only job is to convey your stance politely. Never date anyone out of pity, or because they threw a fit. If you're so concerned, you can dress it up with a pretty lie, but by doing that you're only prolonging your predicament. The truth remains unrivaled in its briskness and sheer simplicity.

Well what can I say , the truth is always the truth no matter how much you try to sugarcoat it.

neoapocalypse:



Well what can I say , the truth is always the truth no matter how much you try to sugarcoat it.

And that's why you stick with the truth always, sugarcoated or no. It's so simple

Just ignore her. I've experienced this, and this is just the best way, though she maybe a bit hurt for a while because they are more emotional than guys, it won't just last. Giving her too much attention would make her think you're her boyfriend already.

Girls think differently from the way guys think

donholy28:
Not possible...they all get angry no matter how u do it

u're correct, I notice dat too.

EnlightenedSoul:


What's not to understand? You guys are always on this mystifying, curious af, bullshyt claim about shyt being complicated and hard to grasp when its actually staring you square in the face. You need to spare me. I won't play.

lol seems you're a feminist

defemidefemi:
u're correct, I notice dat too.

complicated creatures they are

BarcaBlood:


lol seems you're a feminist

Lol, indeed. I gave you simple, real-life, rational advice. If you'd rather attempt the unearthly feat of people-pleasing en masse, that's totally up to you. I suppose I thought I might save you some time, but perhaps it wasn't advice you needed afterall, but experience in all its hyped up glory - the journey, per se. Bonjour!

EnlightenedSoul:


Lol, indeed. I gave you simple, real-life, rational advice. If you'd rather attempt the unearthly feat of people-pleasing en masse, that's totally up to you. I suppose I thought I might save you some time, but perhaps it wasn't advice you needed afterall, but experience in all its hyped up glory - the journey, per se. Bonjour!

I sure needed advice cos naija girls aren't the type that take no for an answer no matter how civil you are, you obviously don't reside in naija. even at that, irrespective of how "hard" you are, you won't take it lightly when someone you have a crush on/love rejects you. Well u did say you've never asked a guy out so its understandable

BarcaBlood:


I sure needed advice cos naija girls aren't the type that take no for an answer no matter how civil you are, you obviously don't reside in naija. even at that, irrespective of how "hard" you are, you won't take it lightly when someone you have a crush on/love rejects you. Well u did say you've never asked a guy out so its understandable

Honestly, I find that hard to believe. In any case, you're complicating the simple. "Hard" or no, the fact of the matter is, the way an individual deals with feelings of rejection is completely beyond you. Life goes on! Personally, I'd never ask a guy out. And I really don't need to. But then, that's beyond the point.

EnlightenedSoul:


Honestly, I find that hard to believe. In any case, you're complicating the simple. "Hard" or no, the fact of the matter is, the way an individual deals with feelings of rejection is completely beyond you. Life goes on! Personally, I'd never ask a guy out. And I really don't need to. But then, that's beyond the point.

Frankly i wanna knw as a lady you deal with feelings of rejection tbh, and when i say ask a guy out, i don't mean it in d conventional way (literally), its more of indirect more often than not in this part of the world.

u say you'd never ask a guy out, so u saying you've never had a crush on a guy before? humor me

BarcaBlood:


Frankly i wanna knw as a lady you deal with feelings of rejection tbh, and when i say ask a guy out, i don't mean it in d conventional way (literally), its more of indirect more often than not in this part of the world.

u say you'd never ask a guy out, so u saying you've never had a crush on a guy before? humor me

So you're saying she didn't even ask you out, like "literally"? Dude, you're making a mountain out of a molehill. That's, like, nothing. You don't even have to do anything with that. It's not as if you can stop people from having crushes on you.

Lol. I don't think I understand you at this point tbh. What exactly is it you want to hear? I didn't say I've never had crushes before, I said I'd never ask a guy out.

BarcaBlood:
That is; without hurting her feelings Cos it has happened to me more than once and on every occasion the lady's feeling turned from likeness to contempt, or even hatred sef?


Any help?

Act cold towards her and if she tries to come closer to you, tell her that she's dangerous and you cannot allow her touch you.

Talk about another woman you're interested in and how you want to hang out.

Believe me, she'll hate you.

Women love guys who are hard to get.

av dne it b4, jxt tel ha d truth nd dnt care abt ha feelins

EnlightenedSoul:


So you're saying she didn't even ask you out, like "literally"? Dude, you're making a mountain out of a molehill. That's, like, nothing. You don't even have to do anything with that. It's not as if you can stop people from having crushes on you.

Lol. I don't think I understand you at this point tbh. What exactly is it you want to hear? I didn't say I've never had crushes before, I said I'd never ask a guy out.

My topic clearly stated that it was a crush, and yes I know when a girl likes me. Like I said it's strange to see a girl literally ask a guy out in this part of the world


It's as simple as the question really; How to politely turn down a crush

DeeTus:
Act cold towards her and if she tries to come closer to you, tell her that she's dangerous and you cannot allow her touch you.

Talk about another woman you're interested in and how you want to hang out.

Believe me, she'll hate you.

Women love guys who are hard to get.

Been there done that


The bold is what am trying 2 avoid

BarcaBlood:



My topic clearly stated that it was a crush, and yes I know when a girl likes me. Like I said it's strange to see a girl literally ask a guy out in this part of the world


It's as simple as the question really; How to politely turn down a crush

That's not a big deal. It's not even what I'd consider a full-blown rejection. Anyway, I'd avoid the person, and be short and brisk if and whenever I had to encounter them w/o being impolite. And try not to do anything to encourage them. They usually get the message. People aren't idi.ots.

It's even funny he cares too much about any person's feelings. Sorry, you are not nutella - you can't please them all.

And I am not saying you shouldn't care a little. But what can you really do if someone loves you and you don't love them back? The rules are nearly the same if a guy asks a lady out, and she rejects him.

She can do one of 5 things:
1) sugarcoat the rejection. Says she sees him as a brother and all...friendzone!
2) tell him she's in another relationship already. Probably a lie.
3) tell him "let's see how things go...but we are not in a relationship"
4) just say..."u are a great guy BUT I don't want to be in a relationship at the moment"
5) Or blatantly say "no. I'm sorry, I can't."

Choose one!

EnlightenedSoul:


That's not a big deal. It's not even what I'd consider a full-blown rejection. Anyway, I'd avoid the person, and be short and brisk if and whenever I had to encounter them w/o being impolite. And try not to do anything to encourage them. They usually get the message. People aren't idi.ots.

incredu:
It's even funny he cares too much about any person's feelings. Sorry, you are not nutella - you can't please them all.

And I am not saying you shouldn't care a little. But what can you really do if someone loves you and you don't love them back? The rules are nearly the same if a guy asks a lady out, and she rejects him.

She can do one of 5 things:
1) sugarcoat the rejection. Says she sees him as a brother and all...friendzone!
2) tell him she's in another relationship already. Probably a lie.
3) tell him "let's see how things go...but we are not in a relationship"
4) just say..."u are a great guy BUT I don't want to be in a relationship at the moment"
5) Or blatantly say "no. I'm sorry, I can't."

Choose one!

@ Red Well, that's just it. You can't reject someone and be of comfort to them at the same time without sending mixed signals (thus counterintuitively encouraging their unwanted feelings).

You'll notice that every single one of those options barring number 5 engenders hope, reason I've been batting for the simple truth on this with OP. I've tried it all and more, and time and time I've found that its best for all parties involved if you just out with it. You're only keeping them from moving on sooner otherwise.

I agree with you, EnlightenedSoul.

Though if a guy is already friends with the lady, and the lady wants him, then no. (5) can be harsh.

However, if it is safe to do so, by all means, get it over with quickly.

EnlightenedSoul:


@ Red Well, that's just it. You can't reject someone and be of comfort to them at the same time without sending mixed signals (thus counterintuitively encouraging their unwanted feelings).

You'll notice that every single one of those options barring number 5 engenders hope, reason I've been batting for the simple truth on this with OP. I've tried it all and more, and time and time I've found that its best for all parties involved if you just out with it. You're only keeping them from moving on sooner otherwise.

incredu:
I agree with you, EnlightenedSoul.

Though if a guy is already friends with the lady, and the lady wants him, then no. (5) can be harsh.

However, if it is safe to do so, by all means, get it over with quickly.

Friending someone who wants more - someone who wants you - is far more cruel amd problematic, believe me.

Enlightenedsoul, she's so full of wisdom, I dnt know maybe God visited her in the night like he did solomon

Enlightenedsoul, she's so full of wisdom, I dnt know maybe God visited her in the night like he did solomon

@ jonaifame22
I'd have you erase what you wrote, if you will..

dont worry wait for the right time be patient god must have written the best love story for you so dont worry

EnlightenedSoul:
@ jonaifame22 I'd have you erase what you wrote, if you will..

IamLEGEND1:
you pull her close and whisper in her ear...

" Girl dont get me wrong,

" You are beautiful and all"

" I just dont like u bítch".

" No hard feelings"