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Re: Will She Ever Regain Her Husband's Confidence, Trust And Respect? by raumdeuter: 4:24pm On Nov 09, 2015 |
damiso: I learnt on this forum that when anyone cheats the solution is divorce anyone who doesnt agree is a marry at all cost evangelist. |
Re: Will She Ever Regain Her Husband's Confidence, Trust And Respect? by raumdeuter: 4:35pm On Nov 09, 2015 |
Ujoan: I am sorry this excuse doesnt hold. If you are forced to agree as long as you agree you are obliged to keep it. if your work says come to office by 7, you dont like it but agree are you saying you are free to come by 9 since you didnt like it in the first place? Or if you tell your husband to drop you at VI but he didnt like it but you "convinced" him to, midway on the trip is he free to go drop you at Magodo since he didnt want to agree in the first place but you convinced him. Explain how he would put his family in check? You mean he should call his family that, "As i am about to start bleeping my wife, dont ask us any questions? Or what else does he need to put his family in check about? Their agreement on who cleans the toilet, who cleans who takes out trash? Maybe they should move into their family house and get permission before they make any decision. Assuming the man was the one who involved his own family, the same woman would say he cant make decisions on his own or he allows family interference When the family was bugging the wife, why didnt she tell the husband rather she went behind him to do what she wanted If you dont want to take a pill and want the man to use condom, That is easy you tell him from the beginning not deceiving him that you are on pills while you arent. They got married, they agreed on a plan, the wife went behind to change it. You know what else can change, they agreed its going to be a monogamous closed marriage, the husband has gone behind without consulting her to change it Just as she is within her right to change the plans they had, he is also within his right to change his plans She get belle with her body, He cheats with his body If anyone cant stand the current situation. The person can get a divorce 2 Likes |
Re: Will She Ever Regain Her Husband's Confidence, Trust And Respect? by Kimoni: 4:38pm On Nov 09, 2015 |
raumdeuter: you are a clown Dayo but some people might be taking this your divorce message seriously ejoor oo |
Re: Will She Ever Regain Her Husband's Confidence, Trust And Respect? by raumdeuter: 4:41pm On Nov 09, 2015 |
Kimoni: Na true oo. We are trying to be modern here and not follow those archaic African culture that was established by African men to subjugate the women The greatest freedom a woman can find is in divorce 2 Likes |
Re: Will She Ever Regain Her Husband's Confidence, Trust And Respect? by Kimoni: 4:43pm On Nov 09, 2015 |
raumdeuter: Egbami o |
Re: Will She Ever Regain Her Husband's Confidence, Trust And Respect? by damiso(f): 4:47pm On Nov 09, 2015 |
raumdeuter: So you have decided to become divorce evangelist abi? E rora o. |
Re: Will She Ever Regain Her Husband's Confidence, Trust And Respect? by 5minsmadness: 9:17pm On Nov 09, 2015 |
raumdeuter:
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Re: Will She Ever Regain Her Husband's Confidence, Trust And Respect? by Stillfire: 9:29pm On Nov 09, 2015 |
raumdeuter: Even archaic African cultures allowed for divorce. |
Re: Will She Ever Regain Her Husband's Confidence, Trust And Respect? by raumdeuter: 9:36pm On Nov 09, 2015 |
Stillfire: Maybe its Nigerian culture or those cultures established by Nigerian men |
Re: Will She Ever Regain Her Husband's Confidence, Trust And Respect? by TV01(m): 9:44pm On Nov 09, 2015 |
Stillfire:Most variations of marriage do - it still remains a tragedy, not an aspiration or a positive. It seems many are keen to valourise it. Before long we'll see a total inversion, marriage will be come a bad thing, a precursor to the "morally desirable" divorce. And any man that refuses to marry will be denying some young lady the divorce she so richly deserves. Shior danu . TV |
Re: Will She Ever Regain Her Husband's Confidence, Trust And Respect? by GoldenJAT(m): 9:48pm On Nov 09, 2015 |
TooNoisy:don't b stupid!!!! Did u go through d passage at all? Or you just jumped in2 conclusion. They had an agreement for crying out loud!!! Y go behind him 2do what she did in connivance with d MIL AND SIL. Wil she b d 1 2 shoulder d financial responsibilities Na because she go just DE Sidon 4 house DE chop.. Na Im make fear finish 4her body. Do same and see ur husband's reaction!!!! Genuine mistake ni.. Fake mistake ko!! 3 Likes |
Re: Will She Ever Regain Her Husband's Confidence, Trust And Respect? by Stillfire: 9:51pm On Nov 09, 2015 |
TV01: Maybe people especially MEN should respect their marriage vows and then we wouldn't be talking about divorce. |
Re: Will She Ever Regain Her Husband's Confidence, Trust And Respect? by GoldenJAT(m): 9:52pm On Nov 09, 2015 |
cococandy:any action d man is taking now, will surely b traced 3d woman... Y giv him cause 2 cheat? Some women are so dumb ehhhh!!!! Go and try same with ur husband and tel us d result. I b waiting. Mtchewww 3 Likes |
Re: Will She Ever Regain Her Husband's Confidence, Trust And Respect? by TV01(m): 9:57pm On Nov 09, 2015 |
Stillfire:I agree - all marital vows should be taken with the utmost sobriety and well-meaning intent. Divorce is and should remain anathema and be extremely rare. TV |
Re: Will She Ever Regain Her Husband's Confidence, Trust And Respect? by GoldenJAT(m): 9:59pm On Nov 09, 2015 |
EfemenaXY:abeg help me tel all this indomie girls for this forum d meaning of a husband and wife agreement. D last time I checked D MAN WAS STILL THE HEAD OF THE FAMILY AND MOST OF THE DECISIONS MADE DIRECTLY OR IN DIRECTLY AFFECTS HIM. let d mother in law and sister in law, come and bear d cause of d pregnancy if it's possible. She wanted 2 b d good daughter in law na. 1 Like |
Re: Will She Ever Regain Her Husband's Confidence, Trust And Respect? by cancerlib: 2:57am On Nov 10, 2015 |
The wife never know anything. I was her some months ago. When hubby and I got married our salary was less than 100k (both), tho he has a side biz. We had plans just like that only for me to proof like regular naija babe, went back on our agreement and proved smart. With d backing of his family of cos, they told me once he see his baby he'll thank me. I went through hell, went through morning sickness and all the aches and pains alone. Wen God go punish me join I had my baby through CS, hubby had only 60k in his account then. The family didn't add a dime, only one of his sis assisted. One day I was going through his phone and saw his chat with a colleague asking her d cost n procedure of giving birth in d US, he has big plans for his family, never wanted his wife to suffer a bit. His dream has always been for his wife to gv birth abroad. He shut me out, cheated too, he also slept outside when I was 8months, there was always heat in our home. I destabilized him, he ended up working like a jackass, always looking for extra avenue to make money, he grew lean, many times caught him lost in thought, chai I felt so terrible. He hated seen me on bike, he got me a car tho not d type he wished! We went so fast from Romeo n Juliet to strangers. Even till recently, tho he loves his son madly, anytime we need to do something for the boy and he's broke we fight cos he'll be depressed. My advice, don't get tired of apologizing, d way some men deal with betrayal u go think say na their mama u kill. D last time we fought, after we calmed down I went to him with a bible to swear to me this issue will not cause trouble anymore cos I can't survive another one. He swore and since then we've bn happy. I no c any family Wey go come meet me now say e don reach time to gv my son sibling o, dm no fit. At d end of the day I suffered alone and just spoilt some precious months of our marriage . I regretted my actions and will do things differently if given another chance. We Nigerians don't really know the meaning of Trust and Betrayal. 11 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Will She Ever Regain Her Husband's Confidence, Trust And Respect? by 49cents(m): 6:04am On Nov 10, 2015 |
TooNoisy: Honestly this world is getting more stupid......imagine a man telling his WIFE to abort their first fruit? From the title of the thread I thought the story was that the man caught his wife wiith their driver or something....... 2 Likes |
Re: Will She Ever Regain Her Husband's Confidence, Trust And Respect? by prettysassygirl(f): 10:50am On Nov 10, 2015 |
dinachi:As you see me so,I be trouble wey dey waka for road o,mind ur biz o,don't wake the sleeping tiger,cos u are gonna be beaten. 1 Like |
Re: Will She Ever Regain Her Husband's Confidence, Trust And Respect? by prettysassygirl(f): 10:51am On Nov 10, 2015 |
iykedare:hmmmm do by understand,clarify |
Re: Will She Ever Regain Her Husband's Confidence, Trust And Respect? by dinachi(m): 10:55am On Nov 10, 2015 |
prettysassygirl:Just shut your hoe. |
Re: Will She Ever Regain Her Husband's Confidence, Trust And Respect? by prettysassygirl(f): 11:00am On Nov 10, 2015 |
dinachi:u get sense,ur type is so very empty,me no dey see u so get lost,I don't converse with ur kind,it makes me seem lower than I really am. |
Re: Will She Ever Regain Her Husband's Confidence, Trust And Respect? by Nobody: 11:19am On Nov 10, 2015 |
raumdeuter: I won't blame him if gets to Magodo and meets a terrible traffic jam (which he didn't for-see) and refuses to go any further, because I knew he never wanted to go in the first place. But when I use that as an excuse to withhold sex from him or stop making him dinner, or stop doing his laundry, i'm not only being vindictive, but also incredibly childish! |
Re: Will She Ever Regain Her Husband's Confidence, Trust And Respect? by dinachi(m): 11:43am On Nov 10, 2015 |
prettysassygirl:Buhahaahhaha! Is this all you gat? go on let me humor myself. Just fumigate your pussy okay, I have a handkerchief over my nose here because of how you stink. |
Re: Will She Ever Regain Her Husband's Confidence, Trust And Respect? by prettysassygirl(f): 12:04pm On Nov 10, 2015 |
dinachi:I knew it,u must mention kittycat,same with all your updates,sick man,go see a psychiatrist monkey |
Re: Will She Ever Regain Her Husband's Confidence, Trust And Respect? by dinachi(m): 12:23pm On Nov 10, 2015 |
prettysassygirl: Sorry, I HAD to mention it because the smell coming from you is so horrible! Nne go and clean up first before coming to nairaland,you stink so terribly. |
Re: Will She Ever Regain Her Husband's Confidence, Trust And Respect? by Kimoni: 1:02pm On Nov 10, 2015 |
cancerlib: Shndy, I think you should read this and digest it... There is no advice anyone here can give you that will surpass that of another woman who made the same mistake and somehow survived it. And good enough, she has been very detailed about how she regained the trust of her husband. Like she said, the way some guys handle betrayal, you will think they just lost their mother. As outsiders and women who will never take the same route, we may never understand what goes on in their mind and how it plays out. I know some resort to drinking, drugs, hoarding, aggressiveness but cheating is almost strange to me but that won't make me deny it can happen. Anyways, have a deep conversation with your husband and if possible, have him make a solemn promise to you that it is all over. Let him realise his attitude is also breaking you especially in this delicate situation of yours. Wishing your friend the very best. 5 Likes |
Re: Will She Ever Regain Her Husband's Confidence, Trust And Respect? by 5minsmadness: 1:17pm On Nov 10, 2015 |
Kimoni: Shndy follow the two advices above except for the striken out part (sorry kimoni). He DOES NOT want to hear anything concerning the baby or your pregnancy now. Mentioning it to make him feel guilty or whatever will backfire very very badly. Take this from a man's perspective pls. Thanks. 2 Likes |
Re: Will She Ever Regain Her Husband's Confidence, Trust And Respect? by bukatyne(f): 1:33pm On Nov 10, 2015 |
LewsTherin: 100% on point. If the husband decided to hands off the baby financially, fine'; but to cheat? How do they even correlate? Since you do not subscribe to divorce, how do you treat cheating or physical abuse in marriage Your opinions please Stillfire: 100% True. I think the next statistics on divorce should give us a breakdown... 1. The % as a result of adultery/abuse. Out of the total percentage, the number who knew their spouses had those characteristics before marriage. (IMHO, a wife complaining of a cheating husband after fighting 15 ladies to be the grand winner or the husband complaining of a cheating wife when she has obviously been spending more than her income is a joker) 2. The % as a result of irreconcilable differences Then we would know where the work is. |
Re: Will She Ever Regain Her Husband's Confidence, Trust And Respect? by Onegai(f): 1:53pm On Nov 10, 2015 |
Shndy, you've heard from someone who went through the same. Don't use the pregnancy to guilt him, it will make things worse. Let your friend say "I'm sorry, I screwed up, and I'm not. going to let this ruin our marriage". It will take a while. of careful rebuilding to get your marriage back to a good spot but it can be done. 2 Likes |
Re: Will She Ever Regain Her Husband's Confidence, Trust And Respect? by prettysassygirl(f): 2:14pm On Nov 10, 2015 |
dinachi:Get lost nigga ,you lack creativity, u jes dishing out local and stale yabs,go find sumtin berra |
Re: Will She Ever Regain Her Husband's Confidence, Trust And Respect? by Kimoni: 2:19pm On Nov 10, 2015 |
5minsmadness: Lol...it's fine 5mins. You are right actually. During the conversation, she should avoid mentioning the pregnancy to avoid setting him off again. 1 Like |
Re: Will She Ever Regain Her Husband's Confidence, Trust And Respect? by shndy: 2:50pm On Nov 10, 2015 |
Hmm, thanks so much for all the contributions. Cancerlib, bless u for sharing ur experience, a live one will sure help her. Kimoni, onegai, my peeps from Newborn Thread bless u 2 Likes 1 Share |
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