I find this response by HRH SLS quite gratifying:" I am sure NC members all have their views and have kept quiet out of (appropriate) deference to our right to make our individual choice. Obviously I do not need to explain anything to anyone in a purely personal matter but a few points are worthy of note:1. The lady in question is 18 and thererfore legally of age to marry under all laws and certainly inder Muslim law2. She is proceeding for her undergraduate education in the UK in january. She had an A in computer science in her O levels and plans to get a degree in computer science3 each and everyone of my wives is a university graduate and some have worked and fhen stopped and in each case the choice was purely theirs4. It is a tradition in Kano that emirs and princes in choosing wives consider issues beyond the individual. The family is inevery sense a social unit. My predecessor was married to princesses from Ilorin, Katsina and Somoto5 The relationship between the late Lamido of Adamawa Aliyu Musdafa the father of the current Lamido is well known. Lamido Aliyu was the first emir turbanned after emir Sanusi I and they remained close until Sanusi's death.6. My own relationship with the current Lamido dates back to 1981 when he was Ciroma and commissioner for works. By the way the Lamido and I are not illiterates we know whatwe are doing and he does have a PhD in Engineering7. My own mother was married in Adamawa and lived there for more than two decades and I have eight younger brothers and sisters from there8 it is therefore natural that if I choose to marry from another kingdom Adamawa would be the first choice for meand I am extremely happy to strengthen these ling historical bonds9. The young lady in question gave her free consent and even after the contract the wedding will not happen for a few years. By then she may be 21. If she freely consents to this I do not know on what moral grounds anyone has a grouse. She is an adult, she gave her consent, her educationis not being in anyway interrupted.10. The real issue is that people do not accept cultural difference. And you can see it in the approach to these issues. I am supposed to be urbane and western educated. Yes but i am not european. I am a northern Nigerian Fulani Muslim brought up in a setting exactly like the one my children are being brought up in.If you read this and it improves your understanding of this issue that is fine. If it does not justvremember it us not your life, it is not your daughter and you are not my wife thereforeit is not your business.I obviously cannot stoop to the level of responding publicly to these kinds of articles. I have always been an advocate ofgirls marrying after maturing. I personally like the minimum age of 18 even though i understand those who say 16 is fineand indeed this is the law in most so calked @advanced@ countries.Is this something that I expect a european or western trained or feminist mind to appreciate or endorse? Not at all.But has any american been bothered about my views on men marrying men or women marrying women which frankly I find primitive and bestial? No and my views do not matter. These are cultural issues.Even in Nigeria I have heard all this stuff as in Pius article about "north" and northerners. Again it is a failure to respect difference. There are parts if this country where parents expect their daughters to live with their boyfriends for years and actually get pregnant before they marry. It has become culture. We do not have that in the north and if your daughter gets pregnant before marriage she brings nothing but shame to the name. But we do not issue condemnations. We agree that this is how they choose to live. And i can give many other examples.When people use the term libido they do themselves injustice. First of all it shows how they view women and marriage. Women are nothing but the object of sexual desire. Marriage is nothing but sexual gratification.

Marriage is nothing but sexual gratification. Well I amsorry but in my tradition it is not. Beauty and attraction rank third after religion and lineage in the choice of a wife. They see an 18 year old young lady. I see a princess of noble birthwhose mother is also a princess, and who has been broughtup in a good muslim home. This is the kind of woman that isprepared for hiving birth to princes and bringing them up forthe role expected of them in society.Martiage is both social and political. Expanding the links of kano which have already been established by my predecessors through internarriage with katsina, sokoto, ilorin, katagum, ningi, bauchi etc to adamawa is an importantand signifant step and this is obvious to anyone with a sense of how royal families work and Ibn Khaldun's sociological concept of Asabiyyah. When the emir of Kano marries it has to be something beyond what he oersonally desires to what is appropriate for that position and the expectations of the people he represents. You dont just pickup any girl on the street. And by the way for thise who shout libido sex is cheap and available everywhere in all shapes and sizes and all colours if that is what they want. And all ages too. Martiage is a very different proposition. The mother of your children has to be something other than, ot at least much more than a mere object of sexual fantasy. But if you do not know that you need to buy yourself a brain.I have daughters. And they know they can only marry from certain backgrounds. I always prefer family. When my daughter wanted to marry mouftah baba ahmed's son and she asked me, knowing my views on family, i told her mouftah is family. And this is not about me and mouftah or me an hakeem or nafiu. No. It goes back to Baba Ahmed and Emirs Sanusi and Bayero. And the same rule applies to my sons. And it applied to me as well.It is I am sure very strange that I should even bother to comment on this. But it would be hypocritical for me to just keep quiet so long as these things are being posted and commented upon explicitly or in a snide manner. There was no secrecy in the marriage fatiha. The date was fixed and it was to be done in the central mosque after friday prayers. The day before we had a tragedy in Saudi Arabia and decided the fatiha must be very low key as a mark of respect for the dead. All traditional rulers in adamawa were there, as were governors and commissioners, members of my own emirate council and adamawa people. There is nothing here to hide or be apologetic about.The emirs of adamawa have shown love to my parents and grandparents and it is a sign of my appreciation of their lovethat i marry their daughter. This is the highest statement of friendship and loyalty on both sides.Again if you understand this this is fine. If you do not buy yourself a brain, A la Pius.In any event this is my one and final and only comment on this. And I am making it out of respect for NC members.MSII "‪#‎COPIED
Cc @lalasticlala @seun

No source i dont blv it.

Hmmmm. The old man and the child virgin.

Source!! !

.

He got me. Viewing the whole issue from his perspective, I think he's right. The lady is 18, (though a teenager) Nigerian law gives her freedom at such age to make decision for herself. Besides that, the cultural link is also a key. Don't let us get it twisted with the idea of globalisation; who/what sets the standard? The Western World, The Westernised or our Our Tradition?

kogirodent:
Hmmmm. The old man and the child virgin.

An 18year old is a child?

DanielJones:
He got me. Viewing the whole issue from his perspective, I think he's right. The lady is 18, (though a teenager) Nigerian law gives her freedom at such age to make decision for herself. Besides that, the cultural link is also a key. Don't let us get it twisted with the idea of globalisation; who/what sets the standard? The Western World, The Westernised or our Our Tradition?

So as long as it is permitted by law, it is ok? Would you say the same about the laws in the US before the Civil Rights Movement, which made discrimination on grounds of race legal? Would you say the same about the laws in South Africa during the apartheid era? Would you say the same about the laws in Nazi Germany? Would you say that it is ok for gays to marry because it is legal in some countries?

Reason should set the standards, not the Western world, not culture, neither religion.

I am not condemning this man, neither his wife, nor their families but I believe that something is terribly wrong with a 53-year-old marrying a TEENAGER.

My reasons:

The average life expectancy of a Nigerian man is 52 years. Let us say that he, as a well-to-do man, will reach the average life expectancy men in developing countries reach, which is 78. This means that he has 25 more years to live (going by the Nigerian life expectancy, he already entered the coffin with one leg). By the time he dies, she will be 43, that is, I repeat when he reaches the life expectancy of a man in a developing country. She will be a fairly young widow and her marriage prospects will be bleak in a country like Nigeria. Is she to spend her remaining years alone? Is she not supposed to enjoy her old age with a husband by her side? Or will she soon have to take care of him like a nurse? Is she mature enough to deal with the problems old age comes along with?

What about their kids? They will still be pretty young when he dies. They shouldn't have a father for as long as possible?

What about the risks late fatherhood has on the health of the children?

Then, what do these two people have in common? Will he be her partner or her mentor, a fatherly figure? What is marriage about? Companion and friendship or mentoring and s.ex? What about the different social interests and attitudes?

What about the impact his marriage has on his older kids? What will be the impact on his daughters who see their father with a GIRL who is their age-mate? What about his sons who will date girls who are their stepmother's age? Do they have to worry about their father lusting after them? Can his daughters-in-law look up to him as a fatherly figure? I don't think so.

What about his parents-in-law? Are they his age-mates? How does it affect family counseling in times of a crisis where the elderly are asked for advice?

What about the different levels of fitness? How will it affect their se.xual life?

Last but not least, even without all these arguments, many people can sense that there is something unnatural and weird for a man at his age to be sleeping with a teenager.

Just because nature made it so that men can have children till the day they die, it does not mean that it is recommendable.

This guy fall hand. He owes noone any explanation at all. He has done nothing wrong and should carry on with his life. Anybody with a problem with his decision is free to take it up in a court of law or do the needful; there are millions of transformers running as we speak.

She's old enough. Northern girls even look forward to marrying older men.
I expected more from Sanusi though with all the education, damn.
What am I saying? Expect more ke? There is no difference between an educated naija man and a village palm wine tapper when it comes to d.ick matters.

I don't like him but he made valid points.

The girl saw it coming and probably cool with the arrangement so what gives? Happiness is relative and I'm sure she will be happy in the marriage.

In the bid to voice our unsolicited opinions we tend to forget that the person involved might be happy with the decisions they make. If she is old enough to vote, wasn't coerced or forced, I'm fine with it.
We are so moral and judgmental when it comes to others.

Mindfulness:


So as long as it is permitted by law, it is ok? Would you say the same about the laws in the US before the Civil Rights Movement, which made discrimination on grounds of race legal? Would you say the same about the laws in South Africa during the apartheid era? Would you say the same about the laws in Nazi Germany? Would you say that it is ok for gays to marry because it is legal in some countries?

Reason should set the standards, not the Western world, not culture, neither religion.

I am not condemning this man, neither his wife, nor their families but I believe that something is terribly wrong with a 53-year-old marrying a TEENAGER.

My reasons:

The average life expectancy of a Nigerian man is 52 years. Let us say that he, as a well-to-do man, will reach the average life expectancy men in developing countries reach, which is 78. This means that he has 25 more years to live (going by the Nigerian life expectancy, he already entered the coffin with one leg). By the time he dies, she will be 43, that is, I repeat when he reaches the life expectancy of a man in a developing country. She will be a fairly young widow and her marriage prospects will be bleak in a country like Nigeria. Is she to spend her remaining years alone? Is she not supposed to enjoy her old age with a husband by her side? Or will she soon have to take care of him like a nurse? Is she mature enough to deal with the problems old age comes along with?

What about their kids? They will still be pretty young when he dies. They shouldn't have a father for as long as possible?

What about the risks late fatherhood has on the health of the children?

Then, what do these two people have in common? Will he be her partner or her mentor, a fatherly figure? What is marriage about? Companion and friendship or mentoring and s.ex? What about the different social interests and attitudes?

What about the impact his marriage has on his older kids? What will be the impact on his daughters who see their father with a GIRL who is their age-mate? What about his sons who will date girls who are their stepmother's age? Do they have to worry about their father lusting after them? Can his daughters-in-law look up to him as a fatherly figure? I don't think so.

What about his parents-in-law? Are they his age-mates? How does it affect family counseling in times of a crisis where the elderly are asked for advice?

What about the different levels of fitness? How will it affect their se.xual life?

Last but not least, even without all these arguments, many people can sense that there is something unnatural and weird for a man at his age to be sleeping with a teenager.

Just because nature made it so that men can have children till the day they die, it does not mean that it is recommendable.

True true.

Again, the girl knows What was getting into so....

Let them carry go.

bukatyne:


True true.

Again, the girl knows What was getting into so....

Let them carry go.

I am not sure she did. Anyway, not my problem.

IyawoDoctor:
In the bid to voice our unsolicited opinions we tend to forget that the person involved might be happy with the decisions they make. If she is old enough to vote, wasn't coerced or forced, I'm fine with it.
We are so moral and judgmental when it comes to others.

You couldn't have said it better.

If there is no law broken and she had a free choice, then I can never understand the bruhaha.

Some people would not understand why someone would be attracted to a man or woman that ways 150kg. Some people would not understand why anyone would marry a disabled person. Some people would not understand why anyone would marry a dwarf.

All these might not fit our personal perspective of ideal couples but if they fancy each other and are not breaking any laws, who are we to condemn their individual choices?

You can only condemn it if you believe it should be illegal and have some consistent logical arguments on what parameters the outlawing would follow.

What is wrong with a 53yr old marrying a teenager?

Both of them are adults and legal . In no country is this a crime

Soon we would be question if its normal for a dark man to marry a fair woman

Which of you women commenting on this thread were virgins at 18?

Its only busy bodies and self-appointed social justice warriors that will condemn what they don't understand. Sanusi should pay them no mind here.

Carefree is this how your whole frame simply disintegrates . You position on the other thread - wannabe husband snatcher - was the women "had the right", based solely on proclamations of love. How does that not fit in this instance?

What right did that woman have that made her feelings actionable - regardless of the fallout and potential harm to others? Unless you explain otherwise, I see your position as the height of hypocrisy.

Mindfulness:
Reason should set the standards, not the Western world, not culture, neither religion.

You appeal to reason . Based on what, having rejected law, culture and religion - like all of these are devoid of reason . Laughable. And the source of that reason is whom or what exactly?

Mindfulness:
I am not condemning this man, neither his wife, nor their families but I believe that something is terribly wrong with a 53-year-old marrying a TEENAGER.

But condemning them is exactly what you are doing, albeit in a tacit manner - what is wrong with this based on your previously applied framework?

Mindfulness:
My reasons:

The average life expectancy of a Nigerian man is 52 years. Let us say that he, as a well-to-do man, will reach the average life expectancy men in developing countries reach, which is 78. This means that he has 25 more years to live (going by the Nigerian life expectancy, he already entered the coffin with one leg). By the time he dies, she will be 43, that is, I repeat when he reaches the life expectancy of a man in a developing country. She will be a fairly young widow and her marriage prospects will be bleak in a country like Nigeria. Is she to spend her remaining years alone? Is she not supposed to enjoy her old age with a husband by her side? Or will she soon have to take care of him like a nurse? Is she mature enough to deal with the problems old age comes along with?

What about their kids? They will still be pretty young when he dies. They shouldn't have a father for as long as possible?

What about the risks late fatherhood has on the health of the children?

Then, what do these two people have in common? Will he be her partner or her mentor, a fatherly figure? What is marriage about? Companion and friendship or mentoring and s.ex? What about the different social interests and attitudes?

What about the impact his marriage has on his older kids? What will be the impact on his daughters who see their father with a GIRL who is their age-mate? What about his sons who will date girls who are their stepmother's age? Do they have to worry about their father lusting after them? Can his daughters-in-law look up to him as a fatherly figure? I don't think so.

What about his parents-in-law? Are they his age-mates? How does it affect family counseling in times of a crisis where the elderly are asked for advice?

What about the different levels of fitness? How will it affect their se.xual life?

Last but not least, even without all these arguments, many people can sense that there is something unnatural and weird for a man at his age to be sleeping with a teenager.

Just because nature made it so that men can have children till the day they die, it does not mean that it is recommendable.

Your reasons are all bogus - and based purely on your feelings. There is absolutely nothing wrong with the age difference. If they are both of age and consenting - as are their families.

You term it unnatural, because you don't like it. Bah humbug !

For the record, I would also question this and maybe ask some of the same questions, but my worldview allows that without any inconsistency - yours doesn't

New moniker, same old lame positions - deactivate and try again. Although repentance will do the trick much more assuredly


TV

TV01:
Carefree is this how your whole frame simply disintegrates . You position on the other thread - wannabe husband snatcher - was the women "had the right", based solely on proclamations of love. How does that not fit in this instance?

What right did that woman have that made her feelings actionable - regardless of the fallout and potential harm to others? Unless you explain otherwise, I see your position as the height of hypocrisy.


You appeal to reason . Based on what, having rejected law, culture and religion - like all of these are devoid of reason . Laughable. And the source of that reason is whom or what exactly?


But condemning them is exactly what you are doing, albeit in a tacit manner - what is wrong with this based on your previously applied framework?


Your reasons are all bogus - and based purely on your feelings. There is absolutely nothing wrong with the age difference. If they are both of age and consenting - as are their families.

You term it unnatural, because you don't like it. Bah humbug !

For the record, I would also question this and maybe ask some of the same questions, but my worldview allows that without any inconsistency - yours doesn't

New moniker, same old lame positions - deactivate and try again. Although repentance will do the trick much more assuredly


TV

@bold

Very funny.

For your information, people have assigned different identities to me. You are free to continue.


I am that I am. Divine.


By the way, if you were able to connect to the divine source within yourself, Bukatyne's comments wouldn't hurt you for days but like you said TV01, we reap what we sow.

1st to comment gud morning peeps

You get sorrier by the moment !

Not even the usual lame attempt to explain or justify your framework, let alone rebut the content of my post.

Mindfulness:
@bold
Very funny.

Very true!

Mindfulness:
For your information, people have assigned different identities to me. You are free to continue.
I am that I am. Divine.

In truth, I don't really care - although I tagged from the first post I read - who you are. I discuss principles not personalities. Indeed, all told, Carefree actually delivered more and better. You are not even yourself

...let alone divine. The bible talks about those "whose god is their belly" - your worship and live by your feelings. That's more akin to bestial than divine.

Mindfulness:
By the way, if you were able to connect to the divine source within yourself, Bukatyne's comments wouldn't hurt you for days but like you said TV01, we reap what we sow.

Why are you trying to deflect by bringing Bukatyne into it? Her sneaky, but characteristic, attempt to lure me to that thread and ambush me backfired spectaculalrly.

Who can fight the truth? - which is by the way truly divine ! Whether she came alone or was sent, she was always doomed to fail - not least because she simply lacks the smarts. As thick as two short planks is our Buka. And if anyone smarter comes, they will also stumble and fall.

Her snide and deceitful allegations where totally groundless, which she proved by aggressively repeating them, and then failing to back them up when challenged.

I was in no way hurt, but rightly made a point of not letting her mislead people as to my views, or misacribe things to me. That could undo a lot of the work I've done here, and mean some people may read my posts with prejudiced eyes. She and her whole coven no reesh !

Bukatyne will serve her well deseved punishment - which I'll dispense at my leisure.

Now repent, or far worse punishment than I could dish out awaits you


TV

TV01:
You get sorrier by the moment !

Not even the usual lame attempt to explain or justify your framework, let alone rebut the content of my post.


Very true!


In truth, I don't really care - although I tagged from the first post I read - who you are. I discuss principles not personalities. Indeed, all told, Carefree actually delivered more and better. You are not even yourself

...let alone divine. The bible talks about those "whose god is their belly" - your worship and live by your feelings. That's more akin to bestial than divine.


Why are you trying to deflect by bringing Bukatyne into it? Her sneaky, but characteristic, attempt to lure me to that thread and ambush me backfired spectaculalrly.

Who can fight the truth? - which is by the way truly divine ! Whether she came alone or was sent, she was always doomed to fail - not least because she simply lacks the smarts. As thick as two short planks is our Buka. And if anyone smarter comes, they will also stumble and fall.

Her snide and deceitful allegations where totally groundless, which she proved by aggressively repeating them, and then failing to back them up when challenged.

I was in no way hurt, but rightly made a point of not letting her mislead people as to my views, or misacribe things to me. That could undo a lot of the work I've done here, and mean some people may read my posts with prejudiced eyes. She and her whole coven no reesh !

Bukatyne will serve her well deseved punishment - which I'll dispense at my leisure.

Now repent, or far worse punishment than I could dish out awaits you


TV

Repentance is for those with a guilty conscience, I know no such. I come from a place of pure joy.
Brighten up TV01, you are a good man, you deserve to feel good too.

Mindfulness:
Repentance is for those with a guilty conscience, I know no such. I come from a place of pure joy.
Brighten up TV01, you are a good man, you deserve to feel good too.

To have a guilty conscience, you must first have a conscience, no? If you willfully and selfishly base your joy on the unhappiness of others, there wil be a price to pay. Convincing yourself or others to the contrary, in order to normalise it, won't change that.

Why call me good? There is none good but God. I won't join you in justyfying myself or my actions, based on feelings or desires, or what others have to say - let me visit that prove yourself thread sef!


TV

TV01:

To have a guilty conscience, you must first have a conscience, no? If you willfully and selfishly base your joy on the unhappiness of others, there wil be a price to pay. Convincing yourself or others to the contrary, in order to normalise it, won't change that.


Why call me good? There is none good but God.I won't join you in justyfying myself or my actions, based on feelings or desires, or what others have to say - let me visit that prove yourself thread sef!


TV

Whatever you say and no matter how hard you try, nothing can change the way I feel - GORGEOUS!

You can continue feeling miserable if you think that it will get you to heaven. Your religion is your choice and I couldn't care less.

Mindfulness:
Whatever you say and no matter how hard you try, nothing can change the way I feel - GORGEOUS!

How you feel as a result of your actions does not necessarily justify those actions - right standing is not based on feelings, nor what you term them.

Mindfulness:
You can continue feeling miserable if you think that it will get you to heaven. Your religion is your choice and I couldn't care less.

How did you deduce misery? You seem to think that making conscious moral choices leads to misery? Quite a stretch, but then to validate and self-justify people will go to any lengths

Au contrairé - right standing and eternity with with My Creator is a source of boundless joy, whatever the feeling. I'll leave you with - or perhaps without - your conscience. Keep self-justifying.


TV

^{...but indeed, if worshipping God means misery is my lot, so be it...Hebrews 11:25 - choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God than to enjoy the passing pleasures of sin...}

The real issue is that people do not accept cultural difference. And you can see it in the approach to these issues. I am supposed to be urbane and western educated. Yes but i am not european. I am a northern Nigerian Fulani Muslim brought up in a setting exactly like the one my children are being brought up in. If you read this and it improves your understanding of this issue, that is fine. If it does not, just remember it us not your life, it is not your daughter and you are not my wife therefore it is not your business.I obviously cannot stoop to the level of responding publicly to these kinds of articles. I have always been an advocate of girls marrying after maturing. I personally like the minimum age of 18 even though i understand those who say 16 is fine and indeed this is the law in most so called advanced countries.
Is this something that I expect a european or western trained or feminist mind to appreciate or endorse? Not at all. But has any american been bothered about my views on men marrying men or women marrying women which frankly I find primitive and bestial? No, and my views do not matter. These are cultural issues.

This is for the novice-team of internet and paper pseudo-feminists who haven't yet acquired the intellectual right to condemn a man of Emir Sanusi's status...

I guess the well schooled and well travelled intellectual, former governor of the Central Bank of Nigeria must also be a cave man for marrying an 18yr old.... Buahahaha

Mindfulness:

Just because nature made it so that men can have children till the day they die, it does not mean that it is recommendable.

Are you the one to decide what is or is not recommendable?

Sagamite:


You couldn't have said it better.

If there is no law broken and she had a free choice, then I can never understand the bruhaha.

Some people would not understand why someone would be attracted to a man or woman that ways 150kg. Some people would not understand why anyone would marry a disabled person. Some people would not understand why anyone would marry a dwarf.

All these might not fit our personal perspective of ideal couples but if they fancy each other and are not breaking any laws, who are we to condemn their individual choices?

You can only condemn it if you believe it should be illegal and have some consistent logical arguments on what parameters the outlawing would follow.

Well said. Their life their CHOICE. As long as the couple are within consent age and not forced into going into that marriage, there is no problem. Men all over the world marry women young enough to be their daughter.

For most people the problem has never been men marrying girls young enough to be their daughter. The problem is when these girls are forced or have no say in the marriage they are getting into.

So because Sanusi is well educated & well travelled, married an 18years old means he's sensible and sophiscated?.

Newsflash; Islamic religion permits paedophilia.
Even a well educated Senator Yerima married an 11 abi na 13years old girl and according to some pepper soup logic, he's right because he's well-educated & probably well travelled.

All in all, it's none of my business.

FrancisTony:
So because Sanusi is well educated & well travelled, married an 18years old means he's sensible and sophiscated?.

Newsflash; Islamic religion permits paedophilia.
Even a well educated Senator Yerima married an 11 abi na 13years old girl and according to some pepper soup logic, he's right because he's well-educated & probably well travelled.

All in all, it's none of my business.

Can I ask you what is wrong in what Sanusi has done?