Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by OBSEQUIOUS(m): 12:57pm On Nov 15, 2015 |
hooli: End time relationship Abeg, Lasisi69 we are tired of seeing this thing you write all around trends. Give it a break! Next time I see it, I go swear for you o 1 Like |
Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by dovetark: 12:57pm On Nov 15, 2015 |
Thanks gentlesinna: Hahahahahaha u are what I call a real man.tanx for not bashing me. Back to d topic I dnt Rilli knw d kind of advice am goin to giv u bcs I hv never ever ended a relationship smoothly.i hv dated seven girls nw nd dey all ended up wit quarry nd fiting.d last girl I broke up wit we almost exchange blow. So u see my guy I hv never had a smooth ending relationship |
Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by 8unit(f): 12:58pm On Nov 15, 2015 |
dovetark: We've dated officially for over 3 years, I have to admit she's a nice girl when her heart is in it, but certain events have occurred which has left a once blissful relationship sour. Prior to the series of events that have brought us to this point, I used to feel like a superhuman with her in my life (for real I could do anything I set my mind to do and succeed), but all that has changed... Life happened!!! We've both been hit by series of events that have adjusted our perspective on how we view life which has undoubtedly affected us. Since the beginning of this year, we've been on a free fall with our emotions. We've not had intense quarrels neither have we had intense passion being together of late (I admit, they both spice up a relationship) and we have grossly neglected each others feelings. We both played our roles in getting to where we are now, I feel the door closing in fast on us and I can't stand this flip-flop of emotions involved.
We've tried taking a break and that didn't work, I have suggested severally that we just remain friends and end the relationship but I really don't know why she doesn't agree to that. We can't just stand each others bullshit anymore but still a part of us wants it to go back to how it used to be I guess that's the reason we've been hanging on.
I am not here to cry over spilled milk, rather, I am here to seek advice on how I would successful end this relationship without it having profound effects on my psychology and emotions while maintaining optimum productivity as an individual. Please your comments are needed and appreciated. Thank you Nairaland.
Please don't just read, I need your suggestions.
have se.x with her without cond.om. Cum inside her. Look straight into her eyes, slap her, ask her "why is our feeling dying?" if she wanna say a word, shut her the fuc.k up with a kiss. You're meant to be together. 1 Like |
Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by DrIloekwe2020: 1:00pm On Nov 15, 2015 |
my brother if u are sure she is not what you want u can end the friendship by applying the following 1,stop seeing her 2,stop calling her 3,stop picking her calls 4,pray about it. 5,call her and let her know is over. 1 Like |
Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by dovetark: 1:01pm On Nov 15, 2015 |
dovetark:
Lol, no matter how serious a situation is, when humor is thrown at me, I can't help but laugh... which I am doing right now. but at the end of the day bro, the problem won't be solved. So you can share an experience on how you ended a relationship with a girl before and I can learn from it. I haven't formally initiated a break up before and that is why I ask.
Same goes to you @Pennah I have to take this time out to thank every one who has contributed in one way or the other to this post. I will read through all the comments as they come in as they've been very helpful. Thank you once again. 1 Like |
Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by limdude: 1:05pm On Nov 15, 2015 |
Brother, if ur girl in a nairalander I'm utterly sure that if she sees this you posted she'll definitely be person who breaks up with you.....
dovetark: We've dated officially for over 3 years, I have to admit she's a nice girl when her heart is in it, but certain events have occurred which has left a once blissful relationship sour. Prior to the series of events that have brought us to this point, I used to feel like a superhuman with her in my life (for real I could do anything I set my mind to do and succeed), but all that has changed... Life happened!!! We've both been hit by series of events that have adjusted our perspective on how we view life which has undoubtedly affected us. Since the beginning of this year, we've been on a free fall with our emotions. We've not had intense quarrels neither have we had intense passion being together of late (I admit, they both spice up a relationship) and we have grossly neglected each others feelings. We both played our roles in getting to where we are now, I feel the door closing in fast on us and I can't stand this flip-flop of emotions involved.
We've tried taking a break and that didn't work, I have suggested severally that we just remain friends and end the relationship but I really don't know why she doesn't agree to that. We can't just stand each others bullshit anymore but still a part of us wants it to go back to how it used to be I guess that's the reason we've been hanging on.
I am not here to cry over spilled milk, rather, I am here to seek advice on how I would successful end this relationship without it having profound effects on my psychology and emotions while maintaining optimum productivity as an individual. Please your comments are needed and appreciated. Thank you Nairaland.
Please don't just read, I need your suggestions.
1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by OBSEQUIOUS(m): 1:06pm On Nov 15, 2015 |
Op, why are you thinking ending what seem blissful is the solution? From all indications, if you get her heart back to it, I think you can make the world jealous!
Ladies don't give in to break up easily, it shows she still have a thing for you, if not it would be long gone. That be the case, give it a considerate effort to make it work.
Never say never, if that doesn't work, sure it would work sef. No need for plan B.
MAKE IT WORK! 1 Like |
Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by ayowole21(m): 1:06pm On Nov 15, 2015 |
well bro...I was once in your shoes.... and what I did was to call her and tell her I want out...I poured my heart out to her and she understands.... though it was painful but that's what I want... so go for it bro |
Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by dokJ: 1:06pm On Nov 15, 2015 |
nawao u too speak English. I think u should seek advice from Honorable Patrick Obahangbo. By d time he scatters ur brain with bigger grammar n rearrange am 4 u, I think u ll acquire some sense on how to jet off from dat ur funny relationship. |
Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by NellyGhenghen(m): 1:07pm On Nov 15, 2015 |
How you want to end a relationship just like that, after three years. Why didn't u end it long time ago? So basically uve just wasted three years of your life?
People need to know what they want before going Into LTR. LTR should be with someone you intend to marry and you need to make sure that person is someone you can actually spend the rest of your life with first before even starting anything.
Op it sounds more like you are the one who is tired and wants to break up otherwise you won't be asking how. Met someone else maybe? anyway if she doesn't entice you anymore save the poor girl further stress and break if off with her like a man. You didn't need advice on how to toast her nor how to Bleep her, do this same way you did those. 2 Likes |
Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by dovetark: 1:08pm On Nov 15, 2015 |
san316: You hv told her you wanted to break up already. But don't do that. Marry her. You hv been dating for too long and I think you hv seen too much of each other without any strong commitment in place.
Once again, marry her. hmm...Thanks |
Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by dovetark: 1:10pm On Nov 15, 2015 |
Thanks, Very helpful... Hard truth. Adanna28: I think you've been "over it" for awhile now, tried the best you can.
Best to be firm with her, cut ties and end it, since she trying to force you to be with her, it no longer love but desperation and control.
You will keep going through circles till you get to the point you despise n loathe her. She not your wife, you owe her nothing.
I'm sure you tried being gentle with trying to cut ties but she not listening. Be firm and honest, if she continues pleading/begging just walk out.
You got to be cruel to be kind at times, later on she will understand, it was best for the long run.
1 Like |
Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by dovetark: 1:11pm On Nov 15, 2015 |
Most times, very true, especially when its a first you have to initiate formally. damola1: Guys can't seem to stand on their feet when they want to break up. Girls will go ahead to break up most times... |
Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by lamama1: 1:11pm On Nov 15, 2015 |
anytexy: very simple just gradually start to CARELESS that settles it. Thank me later alright. Works like magic.... |
Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by dovetark: 1:11pm On Nov 15, 2015 |
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Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by missyadorable(f): 1:12pm On Nov 15, 2015 |
dovetark: We've dated officially for over 3 years, I have to admit she's a nice girl when her heart is in it, but certain events have occurred which has left a once blissful relationship sour. Prior to the series of events that have brought us to this point, I used to feel like a superhuman with her in my life (for real I could do anything I set my mind to do and succeed), but all that has changed... Life happened!!! We've both been hit by series of events that have adjusted our perspective on how we view life which has undoubtedly affected us. Since the beginning of this year, we've been on a free fall with our emotions. We've not had intense quarrels neither have we had intense passion being together of late (I admit, they both spice up a relationship) and we have grossly neglected each others feelings. We both played our roles in getting to where we are now, I feel the door closing in fast on us and I can't stand this flip-flop of emotions involved.
We've tried taking a break and that didn't work, I have suggested severally that we just remain friends and end the relationship but I really don't know why she doesn't agree to that. We can't just stand each others bullshit anymore but still a part of us wants it to go back to how it used to be I guess that's the reason we've been hanging on.
I am not here to cry over spilled milk, rather, I am here to seek advice on how I would successful end this relationship without it having profound effects on my psychology and emotions while maintaining optimum productivity as an individual. Please your comments are needed and appreciated. Thank you Nairaland.
Please don't just read, I need your suggestions.
You are not ready and determined to end the relationship If you are,it only takes barring her numbers/changing your sim card,delete everything concerning her from your life n stop seeing her but obviously you aren't bold enough for that. 1 Like |
Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by dovetark: 1:13pm On Nov 15, 2015 |
Thanks it helped a great deal. Mstrsheikh: Well bro truth is when love and emotions are still involved it's very very difficult to break away. Coz that pain after words no be here at all. You must decide 100 percent you are willing to let her go and imagine how you would feel if you see her with another guy. if you can stomach all this fine! And be productive as a human being better! But 3years is a long time my nigga, create a distraction ( you'll d have to figure that out my babe may be reading my comment lol) a distraction that will take your mind off her then start withdrawing little by little till you reach your comfort zones free of emotions. Hope this help. It sounds wicked tho to your lady but you still need to be there for her through all this. Goodluck |
Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by Nobody: 1:14pm On Nov 15, 2015 |
creepsyme: dnt worry bro the relationship will die a natural death but if u want to fast foward it, start seeing anoda girl and dats it. good luck! Very correct!!...the easiest way to fall out of love is to fall in love again 2 Likes |
Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by dovetark: 1:14pm On Nov 15, 2015 |
How about if I was your brother? ummahmat: bros kill urself |
Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by dovetark: 1:16pm On Nov 15, 2015 |
lol, thanks petiteee: @ bolded,pls try competitive advantage using the BGC matix or porter' thank me later |
Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by dovetark: 1:18pm On Nov 15, 2015 |
hmm... Long story, you'll have to read through the post again and then the comments. IbokUtoroh:
so what is d problem? |
Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by damola1: 1:20pm On Nov 15, 2015 |
dovetark: Most times, very true, especially when its a first you have to initiate formally. You are killing yourself, when you don't break up. Time is precious, if you are not happy for a long time in a relationship just break it off. Life is fun. Try to have fun... It's best to simply enjoy it with someone you are comfortable with. The search continues if one fails. No decision is ever perfect, improve yourself, make more money to attract more prospect, be confident, and be alive all the time. Men need to be more firm or simply run away. I am talking from a person experience. Time flies away, and later, they'll just blame you for everything. I bet you most men that are married to women are not supposed to be. 1 Like |
Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by dovetark: 1:20pm On Nov 15, 2015 |
thanks aircoolice: Ǖ definitely still have sometin dangling in each others heart jst keep trying ǖ jst can't tell and most importantly ƪ tink ǖ should work on those event dat is bringing abt a distance btw ǖ two. Its no gonna b easy ƪ must say bt jst give it a try |
Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by dovetark: 1:22pm On Nov 15, 2015 |
Thanks a million, well articulated and helpful. MizMyColi:
Megawax8
There's no way he will let go of the relationship without having an effect of sorts visit him.
He is afraid of the future and that in itself kills faster.
I advise people to live in this moment. Live in the NOW...
Concerning your love life, what do you need to do right now? Break Up, right? Then Break up.
Now, you need to have the understanding that it is not so much about what you are doing, as it is about how you are doing it.
Also, what is the state of your mind as you break up, do you have grudges, deep unspoken ones against her, or even yourself?
Before you embark on the breakup journey, you need to fill your mind with positivity, make sure you bear her no ill, and that you bear yourself no ill. Accept what is, and make peace with the things you can't change.
Talk with her in love. Express yourself, say all the things you feel went wrong...then make a declaration that you wish her well.
Whether the breakup will last or not is an issue for another day. But after all is said and done, you sure do need time apart.
Finally, I leave you with this quote from Thicht. My aim is to get you to have a flip in perspective.
1 Like |
Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by dovetark: 1:27pm On Nov 15, 2015 |
Thanks a million, added a book to my read list too EMEKA1MILLION: when it takes a nose dive, sticking around will only make it worse. first thing is to cut off all manner of communications, cut down on ur use of social media where you both communicate and get rid of her pictures in ur gallery, her personal effects should be eliminated around you for now till the next 5 to 6 months and i advice you dont date anyone else for the main time. rad this book if u can download it.. A ROAD LESS TRAVELED. it will help you discover alot of things about yourself. |
Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by Nobody: 1:28pm On Nov 15, 2015 |
dovetark: We've dated officially for over 3 years, I have to admit she's a nice girl when her heart is in it, but certain events have occurred which has left a once blissful relationship sour. Prior to the series of events that have brought us to this point, I used to feel like a superhuman with her in my life (for real I could do anything I set my mind to do and succeed), but all that has changed... Life happened!!! We've both been hit by series of events that have adjusted our perspective on how we view life which has undoubtedly affected us. Since the beginning of this year, we've been on a free fall with our emotions. We've not had intense quarrels neither have we had intense passion being together of late (I admit, they both spice up a relationship) and we have grossly neglected each others feelings. We both played our roles in getting to where we are now, I feel the door closing in fast on us and I can't stand this flip-flop of emotions involved.
We've tried taking a break and that didn't work, I have suggested severally that we just remain friends and end the relationship but I really don't know why she doesn't agree to that. We can't just stand each others bullshit anymore but still a part of us wants it to go back to how it used to be I guess that's the reason we've been hanging on.
I am not here to cry over spilled milk, rather, I am here to seek advice on how I would successful end this relationship without it having profound effects on my psychology and emotions while maintaining optimum productivity as an individual. Please your comments are needed and appreciated. Thank you Nairaland.
Please don't just read, I need your suggestions.
bros! She didn't nag you, She didn't ask you for money or not the money type, she didn't cheat on you, she is nice and so on. But why did you want to break up with her Let me guess! Sex right you are looking for a new BOO BS and ass right Good luck but if that GIRL swear for you heh! 1 Like |
Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by deramarks(f): 1:28pm On Nov 15, 2015 |
zoomman:
I guess u didn't go to church 2day u guessed ryt 1 Like |
Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by Nobody: 1:28pm On Nov 15, 2015 |
dovetark:
Lol, this would take too much energy from me. I am mostly a one woman man. ...OK Try This Trick! ### BreakupDuringNnyashiiinng ### 1 Like |
Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by Nobody: 1:35pm On Nov 15, 2015 |
dovetark: We've dated officially for over 3 years, I have to admit she's a nice girl when her heart is in it, but certain events have occurred which has left a once blissful relationship sour. Prior to the series of events that have brought us to this point, I used to feel like a superhuman with her in my life (for real I could do anything I set my mind to do and succeed), but all that has changed... Life happened!!! We've both been hit by series of events that have adjusted our perspective on how we view life which has undoubtedly affected us. Since the beginning of this year, we've been on a free fall with our emotions. We've not had intense quarrels neither have we had intense passion being together of late (I admit, they both spice up a relationship) and we have grossly neglected each others feelings. We both played our roles in getting to where we are now, I feel the door closing in fast on us and I can't stand this flip-flop of emotions involved.
We've tried taking a break and that didn't work, I have suggested severally that we just remain friends and end the relationship but I really don't know why she doesn't agree to that. We can't just stand each others bullshit anymore but still a part of us wants it to go back to how it used to be I guess that's the reason we've been hanging on.
I am not here to cry over spilled milk, rather, I am here to seek advice on how I would successful end this relationship without it having profound effects on my psychology and emotions while maintaining optimum productivity as an individual. Please your comments are needed and appreciated. Thank you Nairaland.
Please don't just read, I need your suggestions.
She's cheating on your.... 100% sure |
Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by tommychow(m): 1:35pm On Nov 15, 2015 |
LISTEN OP, I personally advice you start seeing someone else...or even more (as in, date ). Usually the main reason people find it hard to break up from an even bad relationship is FEAR OF LONELINESS. A part of you two doesn't wanna start from the scratch again. You keep telling yourself "but we've come this far". I advice you to become very social with other girls because you can't just tell yourself "there are many fishes in the sea". That won't do much. You have to make yourself know FOR A FACT there are other babes.
Good luck. |
Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by dovetark: 1:37pm On Nov 15, 2015 |
Thank you very much, this is very helpful and real. DeeTus: Well, sorry about that. Seems like you feel very terrible.
Beyond a shadow of a doubt, I think this woman still loves you and may not really hold onto any negativity. Life is so gritty sometimes. Are you concerned about parental approval?
The key to a "solid relationship" is to understand where feelings of lust, desire and attraction originate in the women's brain.
If you think you can't go far with this woman, is better you drop her now, so that she'll find someone else and not blame you later. |
Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by megawax8: 1:37pm On Nov 15, 2015 |
MizMyColi:
Mega..wax8
There's no way he will let go of the relationship without having an effect of sorts visit him.
He is afraid of the future and that in itself kills faster.
I advise people to live in this moment. Live in the NOW...
Concerning your love life, what do you need to do right now? Break Up, right? Then Break up.
Now, you need to have the understanding that it is not so much about what you are doing, as it is about how you are doing it.
Also, what is the state of your mind as you break up, do you have grudges, deep unspoken ones against her, or even yourself?
Before you embark on the breakup journey, you need to fill your mind with positivity, make sure you bear her no ill, and that you bear yourself no ill. Accept what is, and make peace with the things you can't change.
Talk with her in love. Express yourself, say all the things you feel went wrong...then make a declaration that you wish her well.
Whether the breakup will last or not is an issue for another day. But after all is said and done, you sure do need time apart.
Finally, I leave you with this quote from Thicht. My aim is to get you to have a flip in perspective.
wonderful piece as always 2 Likes 2 Shares |