Dear Airtel,
Before you start reading this letter, I'll suggest that you download and listen to 'Hello' by Adele as you're reading this letter. That song will let you feel my pain and touch your heart as you read this letter.

I've finally decided to put the letter writing lessons I learnt in secondary school into action and you are the first I'm writing a letter to (Meanwhile I don't know if this is a perfect letter). I am pained in my spirit, soul and body. My mere writing this letter shows how pained I am.

First of all I want to thank you for your life saving WTF bundle. That bundle has been of great help and assistance to everyone. Whenever there was hole at the bottom of my wallet and my bank account was not sufficient enough to cater for my browsing expenses, WTF was there for me. All those people that have been doing FTC can testify to the usefulness of WTF bundle...ladyF, Introvert and the rest. Even those romancelanders that will be toasting here and there know that WTF bundle is there to reduce cost of expenses

Also, your Opera webpass always stood by me when I felt that all hope was lost on browsing. That webpass was my sustenance for over 3 days when my pocket was trying to run dry. That is all I can thank you for because I've not seen any other thing that I can appreciate you for.

You have been of more harm than good to me.
1) In my browsing, when I needed to do more complex things, your so-called unlimited BlackBerry bundle which is capped at 2.5gb bundle was what I leaned on. I was bought this bundle at N1500 (which is serious money to me when it comes to phone use), my account was credited with 2.5gb and little bonus mb. I was jejely browsing when you sent a message that I had used up my bundle. Meanwhile, this was on my 3rd day of buying this bundle. Now I'm asking myself, "How is it possible that I used 2.5gb which is almost 3gb in 3days?" little did I know that you had a way of 'stealing' back from me in what you cover up as deduction rate.

2) When I read on MissTechy . com that you had brought a weekend bundle of N100 for 1gb, I was jumping up and down like one mad man.
I heard this news on Sunday which was the end of the weekend, so I decided to patiently wait for the next weekend. Patience is not one of my numerous virtues but I still waited. I patiently saved my N100 for 1 whole week. I rejected buying the suya that one aboki wanted to sell to me for 100naira sef (which rarely happens). I even had to waka on my leggedis benz so that I could save my 100 naira to get 1gb at the end of the week. Friday came very very sloooowwww. When it finally arrived, I was bouncing like a boss to buy airtime which I was going to use and enjoy myself for the weekend. I loaded and dialled the code immediately, expecting to see 1gb in my account but you can guess what I saw...

"Sorry but you are not eligible for this offer"

After trekking from place to place just to save 100naira...After denying myself of browsing for 1 full week just to enjoy the internet myself during the weekend...After lying to those people that asked me if I had 100naira to lend them...After all my months of giving you N1500 which never even lasted more than 3 days, you told me that I was not eligible.

3) Another day, I was on my own playing Candy Crush on my phone while I was thinking of the next post for my blog after laughing at how Naijasinglegirl made her disastrous moimoi, you sent me a message which I did not even ask you for. See what you sent

"Dear customer, your balance is now below N7.20. Dial *500*500# to get Extra Credit or dial *500*1# to automatically receive airtime when your balance is low."

One still small voice was telling me not to dial that number, the other crazy voice was shouting on me to even dial it 10 times. Meanwhile I had already read the story of how MTN taught ClassCaptain the lesson of his life, but my mind did not tell me that Airtel could be this cruel. I yielded to negative pressure and dialled *500*500# expecting a menu to pop up to ask me how much I wanted to borrow. When the screen finally came up...YEKPAA!!!! I never knew that the code was to credit me with 500 naira. Please Airtel, how will you credit me with 500 naira when I did not even have money to buy 100naira recharge card. Did I send you? Please, biko, who sent you to me abeg?

4) Airtel, I know that I've not been receiving so many calls and messages. I know you care about my situation but mehn...I'm tired. Your calls keep coming everytime and the worst part is that you use a normal number to call me. Look at other networks for example, immediately I see a number like 53310 or 4100 calling me, I'll know that definitely, it's a network that is calling and then I decide whether to pick the call or not (which I never pick) but you hide yourself other the disguise of a normal Airtel number to call me. I've blocked 5 of your numbers (09020869271, 09020869268, 09020869273 and so on) but you still get new numbers to call me. Please I'm tired of this your love story with me.
Let me use Adele's lyrics to talk to you...I know "you've called a thousand times" but I'm not still picking and I will continue blocking all your numbers. It's also as if you know that all I do is browse so you come with your incessant messages of how I can get the best bundle of 4.5gb for 2500 but I'm not falling for that trap.
After you have caused me to be a victim of your deduction rate, consider me out of buying all those your yeye bundles.

5) I don't know what I should put as the 5th thing that you've done to me, so I leave it to lalasticlala and others to fill it up for me.

Meanwhile, I want to add that 200 naira is remaining to be paid for the loan I collected and I'm not thinking of paying it until you address this problems (How I wish I even borrowed more than that 500 naira sef).

I also like to end my letter with the lyrics of the trending song by Adele, 'Hello' because it summarises what is happening now... cos I'm leaving

"So hello from the other side
I must've called a thousand times
To tell you I'm sorry for everything that I've done
But when I call you never seem to be home
Hello from the outside
At least I can say that I've tried
To tell you I'm sorry for breaking your heart
But it don't matter, it clearly doesn't tear you apart
Anymore, ooooohh
Anymore, ooooohh
Anymore, ooooohh
Anymore, anymore"

Im calling lalasticlala and Mr Seun to help me take this message to Airtel for me let them know my pains

Yours sincerely,
A Very Vexed Subscriber Who is About to Port to Another Network
Mr Bobo

Ya still a learner, ask MTN subscribers what's up.


Posted By:
Bobby Carlos:

www.nairaland.com/attachments/3070524_img20151113154001_jpeg1951868ff5bb6a44e07e675f73387a0d

Whizpeter:
See epistle sha...

I'd be back...

*MODIFIED*

OP, you never CHEECHOMCHIN...
What you listed above are the travails of the average Nigerian network subscriber...
We're used to it cos our leaders especially those at NCC are failing us...

So live with it...
As for the data deduction rate, its synonymous with airtel, get another sim for browsing and maintain ya airtel just for calls and contacts...

Atleast maybe we write plenty letters to them, then they'll understand. Meanwhile I'm already planning of porting...I'm tired

OP you get time sha to document all this

keep off my land, I dey come.

Ported to Glo from Airtel yesterday
So happy.
I lost interest in airtel when their data meter was adjusted they started triple charging especially on that bb plan that works on android phones

Op.so this is what you learnt in sec school?to b usin' slangs in formal writing?

Airthief 2gb is not up to 900mb and their 1gb is not up to 400mb. NCC should fine this airthief 100trn.

daamazing:
Op.so this is what you learnt in sec school?to b usin' slangs in formal writing?

Lol...Some rules have to be bent to express my thoughts. I said before its not a perfect letter...I'll try and improve in the letters to come

MrBobo:
Lol...Some rules have to be bent to express my thoughts. I said before its not a perfect letter...I'll try and improve in the letters to come

Kk

so, wetin u want make we do? Make we carry banner enter their office abi na wetin?

when it comes to data milking, consult airtel...
when it comes to unnecessary deduction of airtime, consult Mtn.

Airtel is the worst network ever liveth. Airtel called me one fateful day with their machine voice. All I heard was "press 1 to get N100 now". I said to myself, this one that airtel remember me today so. I quickly pressed 1 to claim the N100. Only for me to be told that "you have successfully borrowed N100 from airtel and N10 has been deducted as services fee". I say WTF is this again?.
Airtel is a scam, don't even go there.

Mckandre:
so, wetin u want make we do? Make we carry banner enter their office abi na wetin?

Make we dey beg them small small to reduce that their deduction rate and the amount of calls they give someone. Shey you've heard that they've sacked workers sef

Lwkmd...lalasticlala come and read oo

I work at the post office.. Don't worry your letter has been successfully posted and delivered to their headquarter

Hmmmmmmmm
Even our indigenous network which is glo still cheats us
When the foundation is destroyed wat can the righteous do?
We've got no choice Dan to accept the unbearable