loshybab:

Ur moniker shows ua frm d'east,nt my syd,so culture differs.
Yea! D'wife's mama is only allowed to cme stay in her daughter's'matrimonial home if d'woman hs no living son,bt if not......no way! I guess u'll continue to shake ur head indefinitely!

kevinberry:
...I swear if my future wife should try any drama with me in the case of my grandma...it won't be funny....

I can go to the extent of divorcing her and retaining my grandma with me instead...ungrateful and unreasonable animals

ancashy:
The make up of a man is nt d same as dat of a woman, women don't hate dia mother inlaws dey just want dia own space exactly how d mother inlaw felt when she was just married to her husband, 10 men can sleep together in a room and nt have problems,but have u noticed dat. Females even from a very young age like to have dai own space,rememba university hostels,ow many girls stayed in a room at a time? Can u rememba d backbiting,strive,jealousy,fights both silent and noisy ones dat occurred.women are nt being wicked or selfish,it is just dia make up.but u can reach a compromise

daretodiffer:


You are harsh. Would you say that if she were your mum?

Miami11:

My mum in her right mind will not pack out of her home to go settle in her kids home.

She might call for help then sought herself out. Don't even forget my mum had high blood pressure same as Op's mother

daretodiffer:


Your mum do not have to ask.

If you were a good daughter with common sense and foresight, you won't let your mum live on her own ALONE if you can help it.

Miami11:

My mum has lived by herself for years, nothing has bothered her, she has farm help, she is busy with church activities to even notice she is alone.

What if posters mother was by herself, all kids abroad or dead. She would have had to manage life at times happen.

daretodiffer:

Your mum is not every mum

....but she has kids and they are alive!!! If they lived closer to her, there is no reason why she can't live with them. If they are living abroad, what is stopping them from bringing her into the country.

Miami11:

Dint you tell me I was bad and my mum did not have to ask?
Now you don jump to tell me that my mum is not every mum.
You put me on defense. I answered you.
Nobody is holding a gun on you neck to answer my post
You might choose to ignore and move on
Don't mention me then react as if you hold a litmus paper for all mother's or mother in laws smh!

daretodiffer:


Your mum did not have to ask before you take the initiative

You assumed that your mum does not need any help because she is always busy. I asked whether you ascertained that from her or was it based on your conclusion.

I don't but unlike you, I have taken time to know what is going on all around me. There are older people who feel lonely but cannot voice out, thanks to our 21st century standards. The ideal thing to do is to ask them and give them the support they need.

daretodiffer:


Your mum did not have to ask before you take the initiative

You assumed that your mum does not need any help because she is always busy. I asked whether you ascertained that from her or was it based on your conclusion.

I don't but unlike you, I have taken time to know what is going on all around me. There are older people who feel lonely but cannot voice out, thanks to our 21st century standards. The ideal thing to do is to ask them and give them the support they need.

Mindfulness:

Not every elderly person is disabled or retarded and everyone should take care of themselves for as long as possible. It keeps you fit. Just because you are 60+ does not mean that you can't meet family and friends, have something going for yourself or a hobby.
I plan on working till the day I die, I want to have hobbies, meet friends and family, I want to travel and I want to have fun when I get old. I do not see myself depending on others and HBP is definitely not anything that requires support from others.

Mindfulness:


Not every elderly person is disabled or retarded and everyone should take care of themselves for as long as possible. It keeps you fit. Just because you are 60+ does not mean that you can't meet family and friends, have something going for yourself or a hobby.

I plan on working till the day I die, I want to have hobbies, meet friends and family, I want to travel and I want to have fun when I get old. I do not see myself depending on others and HBP is definitely not anything that requires support from others.

Mindfulness:


Not every elderly person is disabled or retarded and everyone should take care of themselves for as long as possible. It keeps you fit. Just because you are 60+ does not mean that you can't meet family and friends, have something going for yourself or a hobby.

I plan on working till the day I die, I want to have hobbies, meet friends and family, I want to travel and I want to have fun when I get old. I do not see myself depending on others and HBP is definitely not anything that requires support from others.

Miami11:

So miss or mister know it all, because you have taken time to know what's going on, you think you probably know all the mothers situations in the planet including my mum. Get a life busy body
Note that you and mine opinion does not matter in posters house. At the end of the day, poster and wife will make their own decision.
Now this your bickering as if your life depends on it is ridiculous.
Stop making this post about you, give other people a chance to respond to the post.
You have commented for everyone. Do you think this addresses, just you.
How narcissistic?

daretodiffer:


That is you. Besides what is stopping you from having Alzheimer's before you are 60 therefore you cannot be certain. Some older people need all the support they can get. And if your parents or husband's parents fall into this category, it is your job to try provide them with the necessary support. Maybe if you stop seeing it as a burden, you might see this differently.

Miami11:

Thank you! There tons of independent elderly people out there, going on their businesses until they are no more.

raumdeuter:


^^ I am sure every single person that is old and dependent never prayed or hoped to be dependent

Most were made that way because of old age sickness. Most would prefer not to be dependent but cant help it due to their health and age

they all wanted to be happy, agile, travel have friends and live a healthy life till they die until Diabetes, Stroke, Hypertension and other old age diseases strike

eyinjuege:
We all love our parents, but taking care of the elderly and the very young is quite tough. Maybe your wife needs help! How many times have you taken your mother's clothes to the laundry even if you can't wash them yourself? How many times have you gone to help her clean her room?
You should be actively involved in the care of your mum else the burden may be too much on your wife especially with her job, running the household and meeting the needs of your children.
Another factor is the financial aspect. Is your mum on a special diet? That means your wife may have to cook twice per meal time, and also means you have drop extra money for her meals.
Long and short of it, help to take care of your mum, and not just by dropping money. This is basically to ease the burden on your wife.
If your wife still does not agree, continue to appeal to her softer side, and if still no show na God go help una sort the matter. Or jsut get a maid for ya mum as earlier suggested.

Mindfulness:


What do you know about elderly care? I was taking care of my father for many years after he fell sick and before he died. Have you ever taken care of a very sick person on a daily basis simultaneously juggling many other responsibilities that come along with adult life? No!? Then you better keep quiet before you understand what you are talking about. I infer you are still very young and you have no clue what you are talking about.

Elderly people should take care of themselves for as long as they can. Their kids are not their source of daily entertainment. They have their lives to live. With life expectancy on the rise they will have to take care of them for many more years than any previous generation before so do not act like old age is a disability per se because it isn't if your only problem is HBP.

daretodiffer:


I have taken care of my Grandma alongisde my mum. It was during the long term break and whatever it was, it was pretty serious.

I may be young but it might interest you to know that I know several people, adults in fact who share this same opinion. Also, this stance of mine did not juat appear out of thin air. So when next we are talking about societal issues, please do not bring my age into it.

I am not talking about sick parents. If you could provide a nurse for your dad at his home, how does it add to your burden if you brought him into your own home and get a nurse for him. If your father were hale and hearty, to what extent would it disrupt your own life? In fact it might help you on the long run.

Mindfulness:


Good. Then get your parents and in-laws into your house and have a party. The elderly healthy people in my family have a life!



And you ask me not to bring your age into the discussion.

daretodiffer:


Yes ma

Keep on with the me and my husband, no intruder self-made victim is allowed

Mindfulness:

daretodiffer:


Self-made victim?

Are you kidding me?

Mindfulness:


I am very serious. What stops an elderly person with HBP from having a life?

daretodiffer:


I am not saying they can't have a life but you can't rule out the fact that they could live with you.

Mindfulness:


I can and I will for as long as they have no serious health issues that stop them from taking care of themselves.
I love to pay my elderly folks regular visits, do the shopping for them, take them out every now and then and drive them to see the doctor but they will stay in their house for as long as they can. I am not their main and only source of entertainment and never will be. I have no time for this and absolutely no motivation.

balash:
Imagine Crazy Posts From Potential Husbands Or Husbands Presently.

First Ask your Mom how she would feel when she was Married and her Husbands Mother Is staying with her. For Pete's Sake Its a Marriage between two Souls A man or a woman, Not A Man, wife and Family Members. My Mom cant just stay with me when am Married. The guy in question should tell us how he would feel if the wife Mother comes to stay with them as well.

Yes she was sick and you brought her down to Lagos for treatment Yes its very Understanding and she is Okay Now. She should go back To the village, Or why not understand what is between Your wife and Mother Maybe they are not in good terms and they Might be pretending when you are around. A mother in-law is the worst to live with as a wife. Because The wife would rarely do anything Right. If you are a lady you would understand Better.

Am not saying you should treat your Mom like a Peace Of crap But Bro's you are Married, She can Visit and you can bring her down to care for her when she is sick But staying with you is a no no. Nothing would happen to her in the Village. If you love your wife enough try your best and get a village house help for your Mother. Let her go Back

A wife is a mother In the house.... Two Captain Cant Be In a Ship