I need advise from the married folks here.
There is this lady that i have been dating for over 3 years. She's pretty, her character is almost flawless, neat, domesticated, hardworking, respects and loves me a lot. In short, she will most likely be a good wife. However, I like her but do not love her from the depth of my heart. I have tried hard to love her because shes is a good gal but it just isn't there. However, I am still considering her because she has the best character i have seen amongst all the women I have met. My greatest fear is if i will be able to endure a loveless but relatively peaceful marriage.

On the other hand, I am beginning to fall in love woth someone else that i hardly know. She appears friendly, maybe not as pretty as current girlfriend but her smile can melt my heart. I am very fond of her and I just tend to like eveything about her. I have only known her for a short time and I am almost ready to go ahead with marriage. She's nice but not as loving as my gf. My fear is - what if she turns out to be a lazy, nagging and hateful wife. Will i be able to endure a bad wife that I love so much?

So which is more important to a successful marriage? Love or character?
Which should be the foremost in choosing a wife? To marry a good and loving gal, or to marry a girl I love that may turn out to exhibit some very bad characters?

Only for the married folks please....they have the experience.

Since its only for married folks, I'll wait for their comment

I think both.

love covers everything since no one has a perfect character

Kingsasian:
I think both.

Both? One should be placed above the other. Don't you think? In order words...choose one of these 2 extremes

1) Someone you love bit has a very bad and repulsive character

2) Someone you do not love but has a very wonderful and charming character

Mixty:

Both? One should be placed above the other. Don't you think? In order words...choose one of these 2 extremes

1) Someone you love bit has a very bad and repulsive character

2) Someone you do not love but has a very wonderful and charming character

I can't live with someone I don't love so I prefer no.1. I know how to tame a woman with a bad character

HMMM I TELL U BRO, CHARACTER IS more important, u can always learn to love. but when character is abscent then the love gradually turns to dislike.

I'm not married, but even I know that a woman of character is worth more than all the gold in timbuktu

i don't understand how love can stand alone without character.
can you love some one with bad attitude?
if it is possible, then go for character.
love is an embodiment of every good virtues, and the ability to
overlook the less desirable.

put simply, go for only what you want. it is rewarding.

Kingsasian:
I can't live with someone I don't love so I prefer no.1. I know how to tame a woman with a bad character

how do you tame a woman with a bad character? I really want to know...

For me, character comes first... someone's good characters/attributes attract me to the person, then consequently love!

There has to be some kinda attraction before love sets in. ..

I would rather go for someone I love...
There is always a lot of uncertainty in marriage. The man or woman you think you know today may turn out to be better or worse after marriage. Character can change. There is always a 50/50 chance that a relationship will turn better or worse after the solemnization.

Thus the safest risk (especially for a guy) is to marry someone you love. Even when turbulent times come, it is the love you have for her that will sustain the marriage. On the contrary, if the love or infactuation "disappears", the past memories of the love you once shared (reminiscences) will sustain the marriage. In the very unlikely event that the marriage ends up collapsing, at least you were sincere about your intent of marriage which is love.

On the other hand, you may not be happy all your life if you marry someone you do not romantically love even if the marriage turns out to "peaceful". And if the loveless marriage turns out for the worse, you will regret it all your life.. It is a lose-lose for a loveless marriage.

I don't believe a guy can learn to love a woman he never had feelings for. A guy can only pretend to love a woman he has no feelings for. True marriage can only be built on the foundation of love. Everything else is falsehood and make-believe. Love is worth the risk!

Cheers.......!

BTW....ain't married yet.

Money

Bros,

Take it from me, marry a woman with great character. Such women are increasingly harder to find, so if you have found one. Please marry her. You already love her but you don't feel all excited about her. Even if you go for the one you think you love, that love will not keep you excited about her forever after. Her character will.

A woman with bad character is a no-no for me. Keep the one you have!

xfire:
I would rather go for someone I love...
There is always a lot of uncertainty in marriage. The man or woman you think you know today may turn out to be better or worse after marriage. Character can change. There is always a 50/50 chance that a relationship will turn better or worse after the solemnization.

Thus the safest risk (especially for a guy) is to marry someone you love. Even when turbulent times come, it is the love you have for her that will sustain the marriage. On the contrary, if the love or infactuation "disappears", the past memories of the love you once shared (reminiscences) will sustain the marriage. In the very unlikely event that the marriage ends up collapsing, at least you were sincere about your intent of marriage which is love.

On the other hand, you may not be happy all your life if you marry someone you do not romantically love even if the marriage turns out to "peaceful". And if the loveless marriage turns out for the worse, you will regret it all your life.. It is a lose-lose for a loveless marriage.

I don't believe a guy can learn to love a woman he never had feelings for. A guy can only pretend to love a woman he has no feelings for. True marriage can only be built on the foundation of love. Everything else is falsehood and make-believe. Love is worth the risk!

Cheers.......!

BTW....ain't married yet.

Thanks for this wonderful contribution.

ssweetorgasm:
HMMM I TELL U BRO, CHARACTER IS more important, u can always learn to love. but when character is abscent then the love gradually turns to dislike.

Don't forget that she has been with this woman for 3 years but couldn't feel the love for her. Is it after marriage that he will start loving her?

For girls, its non of the two. Dont ask me what it is cos u know.

Love

If He/She truly loves ya, the person will change his/her character for good.

[size=18pt]M0NEY, MONEY AND MORE MONEY

MONEY MAKES THE LOVE BLOSSOM HEREBY LEADING TO A GOOD CHARACTER FROM YOUR WOMAN[/size]

character, love fades character doesnt. love clouds ur objectivity

Observing..... here to read comments

Both..........But if am to choose one, i will bid more on character

Hmmm. Love is not enough. Bad character will strain the love in the home eventually. Bro, the first lady actually loves you in her own unique way.

When you start having children you'll realize that the character of the mother is a big factor in their upbringing.

Wisdom......... and a lot of Money!

DELETED

my brother character o, love go tire you if ur wife na ass.hole.
Love might be blind for a while but character really matters cos ur marrying her(character) and not love.

Let me put you in the right frame of mind bro.

Love and character work together, the reason you love a person is because of certain characters the person portray that attracts you and makes to want to be with that person. If you claim to love someone, it means you like the person's character.

Now, talking about love, it's a mental thing. Love is like a sickness and we recover from it with time. Love is necessary but not too important in a relationship or marriage, because it's like malaria, it comes and goes. The only thing you need to sustain any marriage or relationship is TOLERANCE.
Sometimes we see people who were deeply in love before getting married but 6 months after the marriage, they are talking of divorce, it's because there's no tolerance

You can only tolerate someone whose character you like. So I in this context, I think character before love

both