First of all am sorry to disobey op cos am nt yet married. Nw am own suggestion is ds-------i believe u shuld go for d gal ur hrt melts for wen she smiles bt first u must find out if d feeling is mutual, take time to find out her real character n make ur evaluations. If u love her ds much it means then u cn tolerate d nt so good part of her(wch we all hv). D oda lady wt d very good character-------u hv bn wt her for 3yrs yet u feel no love, I believe strongly dt dt love wnt come after marriage, hw r u sure she wnt change afta marriage? If d love isn't dia, her slight mistake ll piss u off. U must search ur hrt, n make d decision cos often times we begin to miss n regert d things on a gd day we took for granted, dia r other things u must consider too in ur case. For eg love is one of d ingredients in marriage nt d only ingredient, find out wat oda ingredients d two ladies hv n wrk wt it.

olowoba:
I need advise from the married folks here.
There is this lady that i have been dating for over 3 years. She's pretty, her character is almost flawless, neat, domesticated, hardworking, respects and loves me a lot. In short, she will most likely be a good wife. However, I like her but do not love her from the depth of my heart. I have tried hard to love her because shes is a good gal but it just isn't there. However, I am still considering her because she has the best character i have seen amongst all the women I have met. My greatest fear is if i will be able to endure a loveless but relatively peaceful marriage.

On the other hand, I am beginning to fall in love woth someone else that i hardly know. She appears friendly, maybe not as pretty as current girlfriend but her smile can melt my heart. I am very fond of her and I just tend to like eveything about her. I have only known her for a short time and I am almost ready to go ahead with marriage. She's nice but not as loving as my gf. My fear is - what if she turns out to be a lazy, nagging and hateful wife. Will i be able to endure a bad wife that I love so much?

So which is more important to a successful marriage? Love or character?
Which should be the foremost in choosing a wife? To marry a good and loving gal, or to marry a girl I love that may turn out to exhibit some very bad characters?

Only for the married folks please....they have the experience.

bros! you get spiritual problem.

if you really want to get married! you will know what you are looking for! but for now you are living a life of fornication and lust.

and you are misleading love and characters! can you love a bad character no!

if you. like her character that's means you love her but ya blood taste lust of SEXUAL desire is killing you now and that's probably one of those spirit you must have carried that's affecting you right now.

I'm not married but I will advice you not to go that direction since ya mind is still on the fun side, cos you might end up regretting ya decision and therefore divorce her because of ya foolishness to comprehend the true meaning of love, character and commitment.

olowoba:
I need advise from the married folks here.
There is this lady that i have been dating for over 3 years. She's pretty, her character is almost flawless, neat, domesticated, hardworking, respects and loves me a lot. In short, she will most likely be a good wife. However, I like her but do not love her from the depth of my heart. I have tried hard to love her because shes is a good gal but it just isn't there. However, I am still considering her because she has the best character i have seen amongst all the women I have met. My greatest fear is if i will be able to endure a loveless but relatively peaceful marriage.

On the other hand, I am beginning to fall in love woth someone else that i hardly know. She appears friendly, maybe not as pretty as current girlfriend but her smile can melt my heart. I am very fond of her and I just tend to like eveything about her. I have only known her for a short time and I am almost ready to go ahead with marriage. She's nice but not as loving as my gf. My fear is - what if she turns out to be a lazy, nagging and hateful wife. Will i be able to endure a bad wife that I love so much?

So which is more important to a successful marriage? Love or character?
Which should be the foremost in choosing a wife? To marry a good and loving gal, or to marry a girl I love that may turn out to exhibit some very bad characters?

Only for the married folks please....they have the experience.

the truth is: ur current girl frnd is nt beautiful but she has gud character...koz I c no reason u wil hv a girl frnd that has all d qualities u listed and u stil don't love her.....Wetin again u dey find?.....u b Winch?

its like asking white blood cells and red blood cells which one is much important in the body? As much as both cells are important to the body, same way love and character are important to marriage. The question now is how is ur character and love? Did u marry for love or did u marry his money or did u marry to go out from spinsters union? Same question goes for character.

olowoba:
Thanks for all the response so far.
Seun, lalasticlala royalroy. Kindly assist in pushing this to FP. This is a life decision I wanna make and I need more opinions. Please do so.

Why don't you go and meet a marriage counsellor?

Dem full church everywhere.
Or, could it be; you don't go to church too?

In my opinion, character is more important than love in a marriage. When one gets married, reality sets in. Finance, children, committments change a lot of things. Love is a good thing but a good character supersedes it.

I am married. January 2016 will see me count my third year in marriage. My experience is little but i have learned quite a bit. I am 38 so i have seen all types of shapes, emotions, character, culture, education, background in women. My sincere answer is Character rules. My Wife loves me to pieces, i am very fond of her. What has kept us going through he very rough times is not love. I would have quit the union honestly. Love is not enough and love has various definitions and types. What has acted as an anchor has been her Character. She is a very good girl with manners and an impeccable upbringing. She remained a virgin till our wedding night and is very virtuous. Her virtue has been tested Several times and has stood the test of time. Romance is great and that heart racing feeling is fantastic. If you find it good luck but please find character with it because love is not enough.

NashvilleTN:
Bros,

Take it from me, marry a woman with great character. Such women are increasingly harder to find, so if you have found one. Please marry her. You already love her but you don't feel all excited about her. Even if you go for the one you think you love, that love will not keep you excited about her forever after. Her character will.

A woman with bad character is a no-no for me. Keep the one you have!

QED

I'm married n I must tell u that character is what u need to stay in marriage. Take it or leave it at Ur own peril!!

Same thing happened to me brother.... I go for the woman with down to earth attitude and I learned to love her later. Believe me bro, I called my self a REAL MAN today for choosing her over the other babe

@OP,

What you have is what other men are dying and wishing to have all their lives, brother for all i care you just met this person hence all the excitement which most probably happened when you met your 'real' girlfriend, it happens to everything new in our lives,new job,new phones,new clothings e.t.c but after a while reality sets in. All am saying is character is golden and even diamond in a world where finding such ladies are increasingly getting hard like Jesus said its hard for a camel to pass through the eye of needle, wake up man. The first any day,anywhere forever and ever good character over whatever you call it.

Luv 1st b4 character bcuz it endures all tyns.

A person with a good character will be loveable.

Character obviously. The person you marry has to be your friend, and you can be friends only with people who's character you like. Its not rocket science. Marriage is a life time commitment. That initial puppy love eventually wears out and you lot will have to fall back on the bond you share to stay together and if that bond is not there the marriage crashes. You can't give Agape love, only God does that. But you can be friends with someone forever.

Op I feel like slapping you, u don't love her and u wasted her time for 3 years? Think twice, because if you disappoint her, kalma will surely follow you.

baddyoosha:
OP SEE YOUR LIFE
YOU ARE NOT IN LOVE WITH THE FIRST WOMAN BECAUSE SHE IS LOYAL TO YOU. OR YOU DONT FIND HER ATTRACTIVE ANYMORE EITHER AS A RESULT OF YOU HAVING SEX OR UR JUST TIRED OF HER
LEAVE THE POOR LADY ALONE COS BY THE TIME U GET MARRIED YOU ARE GOING TO HURT HER BY CHEATING

THINK ABOUT THE FAMILY YOU ARE ABOUT TO RAISE

DON'T BUY WHAT WOULD TAKE YOU TO AN EARLY GRAVE

FACT U DONT LOVE HER BECAUSE U DON ENJOY HER P*SSY

Advice to lady 1: run. Advice to lady 2: run.

What has the OP to offer to either of them? He doesnt even know what love is.

#Love is not using someone as a means to your end.

PresVA:
how do you tame a woman with a bad character? I really want to know...

so am I.

wandyvirus:
I am married. January 2016 will see me count my third year in marriage. My experience is little but i have learned quite a bit. I am 38 so i have seen all types of shapes, emotions, character, culture, education, background in women. My sincere answer is Character rules. My Wife loves me to pieces, i am very fond of her. What has kept us going through he very rough times is not love. I would have quit the union honestly. Love is not enough and love has various definitions and types. What has acted as an anchor has been her Character. She is a very good girl with manners and an impeccable upbringing. She remained a virgin till our wedding night and is very virtuous. Her virtue has been tested Several times and has stood the test of time. Romance is great and that heart racing feeling is fantastic. If you find it good luck but please find character with it because love is not enough.

......Hmmmm....well, nice argument. But there is a girl I love, but hate her character. We fight....severally. It's my 4th year with her. She loves me too. Guess what, I can't leave her, because of the love. So, in as much as character is what I want, I just discovered, unfortunately, that, many waters cannot quench love. So, I'll advise the op to follow his heart and when the trials come, he should know that something must kill a man. If whomever he chooses is worth dying for, he should stick to her!

Kingsasian:
I can't live with someone I don't love so I prefer no.1. I know how to tame a woman with a bad character

U be mumu.Ur eye go soon clear.You will never know the value of what u have until u loose it.Its better to marry someone that loves u,than someone You love.A lady with good character is better.Talking from experience .

...

datguru:

If you claim to love someone, it means you like the person's character.

You can only tolerate someone whose character you like. So I in this context, I think character before love

GBAM

When mothers want to look at the ladies her son is bringing home or even his female friends she tend to look at their character because she know that the right character keeps home(husband, wife, kids, neighbours, relations etc).

Me I don't want my wife to be causing kartakarta keep for compound/relatives/friends then I'll be the one going to make peace because I want love more than character

#team_good_character

only ffk and obj should be able to answer this question from experience

searchiing4love:
[

Foo.l

You need character to sustain love

To me I think character is the key not love.


I must be frank with you, character is the best.



it is only good character that can attract love. love cannot attract good character.

#Teamreadingcomments

Who says you can't create love? Except probably in cases of deep hatred. But, you already like the one with the good character. The chances of loving her is more.

Marriage is very fragile and believe you me, it isn't all about love. There are times you need stability, advise, loyalty, faithfulness, commitment. That is why I would tell you to pick the person that can give you that.

Sometimes, what you think is love may turn out to be an illusion.

OP it depends. If the second lady in question is also inlove with u, then it might work. But if na only u de in love, bobs, u go turn house boys cos of love. U go wash pant, plate, clothes, pick kids from school, desert ur family. I will choose character anyday.

Love is not enough. Never has been, never will be.

Character is what will make her stick with you when times are tough and other options become more attractive to her. I'm sure even now there's temptation. Someone else can sweep her off her feet and treat her in a manner that highlights your own shortcomings as a lover. Do you think its only love that's making her stick with you? Love fades. Character doesn't (unless there is sufficient stimulus). Temptation is not a test of love. Its a test of character.