my dear dont make the same mistake my university boyfriend made. go for love. the guy is so fraustrated that he had thrown away his wedding ring. he is now going outside his marriage looking for the love he does not have while his wiffy at home has the best character. if you love her you can endure what ever comes your way. nobody is perfect as long as she makes you feel happy

olowoba:
I need advise from the married folks here.
There is this lady that i have been dating for over 3 years. She's pretty, her character is almost flawless, neat, domesticated, hardworking, respects and loves me a lot. In short, she will most likely be a good wife. However, I like her but do not love her from the depth of my heart. I have tried hard to love her because shes is a good gal but it just isn't there. However, I am still considering her because she has the best character i have seen amongst all the women I have met. My greatest fear is if i will be able to endure a loveless but relatively peaceful marriage.

On the other hand, I am beginning to fall in love woth someone else that i hardly know. She appears friendly, maybe not as pretty as current girlfriend but her smile can melt my heart. I am very fond of her and I just tend to like eveything about her. I have only known her for a short time and I am almost ready to go ahead with marriage. She's nice but not as loving as my gf. My fear is - what if she turns out to be a lazy, nagging and hateful wife. Will i be able to endure a bad wife that I love so much?

So which is more important to a successful marriage? Love or character?
Which should be the foremost in choosing a wife? To marry a good and loving gal, or to marry a girl I love that may turn out to exhibit some very bad characters?

Only for the married folks please....they have the experience.

op my candid advice is dat u should listen to married ones because they live with experience . But my personal advice is, u should no that 'love' is not a mere feelin but a decision of hw u behave n treat people. Love can produce feelin, yes u heard me right,very enjoyable one. But that feelin is not dependable they dont always tell de truth . So that ur sudden love for ur new catch will disappear shortly after de marriage n u will face de reality. So go for gud character that every wise man is lookin for. Then if u think cant lov her after de marriage that means ure a born to cheat even if u marry ur best love . No doubt, quote me any where.

Na wa o. This OP get mind o, u knw u don't love a girl despite her manner, character and dedication to u, yet u wasted her time for 3 good yrs, then u met a new lady and u're going googly eye.
So what advice are u asking for? For us to tell u to leave the 1st girl for someone u barely know and u think u love? For us to tell u to go for love rather than character?
Clearly u don't even know what love is.
Anyway, I will advice u to go down the any path u want to. If u like leave the 1st girl wt character and take the girl u barely know but like her smile, na u sabi. At the end of the day u're the one tht'll suffer for whatever consequences ur action begets.
On 2nd thought pls leave that 1st lovely lady, u clearly don't deserve her, she deserves better and may God grant her.
cc Olowoba
daretodiffer come and see

My brother, this marriage thing is a big deal oooo! Character is a function of love, as such can't exist in isolation.
However please, adjust ur mind to settling down with ur gf. This is because am very sure when u get down to the real thing called marriage, all dose youth feeling u r having now will disappear then u shall come to terms with ur self, the worth of that ur gf. So i'll advice u not to yeild to dis age and stage associated pressure or feeling and Plz appreciate that ur gf If all u listed is in her, cos such girls bro are not common. All the best mate.!!

oluwaisaac:
......Hmmmm....well, nice argument. But there is a girl I love, but hate her character. We fight....severally. It's my 4th year with her. She loves me too. Guess what, I can't leave her, because of the love. So, in as much as character is what I want, I just discovered, unfortunately, that, many waters cannot quench love. So, I'll advise the op to follow his heart and when the trials come, he should know that something must kill a man. If whomever he chooses is worth dying for, he should stick to her!

anytime anyday..the brain can be trusted over the heart,the heart is sentimental and bias,the brain is logical and reasonable.......the fall of men was always because they followed their heart instead of there brain!!!!

daretodiffer:


Foo.l

WHAT DO U WANT WANT FROM ME?

AfroKnight:
Hmmm. Love is not enough. Bad character will strain the love in the home eventually. Bro, the first lady actually loves you in her own unique way.

When you start having children you'll realize that the character of the mother is a big factor in their upbringing.

But the tendency for him to cheat in such a marriage is higher.

Or don't u think so?

As a married man, go for character. Thats what kept my marriage. Marriage is tough , u r lucky u met some one who loves u more than you do.
Lastly love is not enough in marriage, it has diminishing returns, soon the love will die.

olowoba:
I need advise from the married folks here.
There is this lady that i have been dating for over 3 years. She's pretty, her character is almost flawless, neat, domesticated, hardworking, respects and loves me a lot. In short, she will most likely be a good wife. However, I like her but do not love her from the depth of my heart. I have tried hard to love her because shes is a good gal but it just isn't there. However, I am still considering her because she has the best character i have seen amongst all the women I have met. My greatest fear is if i will be able to endure a loveless but relatively peaceful marriage.

On the other hand, I am beginning to fall in love woth someone else that i hardly know. She appears friendly, maybe not as pretty as current girlfriend but her smile can melt my heart. I am very fond of her and I just tend to like eveything about her. I have only known her for a short time and I am almost ready to go ahead with marriage. She's nice but not as loving as my gf. My fear is - what if she turns out to be a lazy, nagging and hateful wife. Will i be able to endure a bad wife that I love so much?

So which is more important to a successful marriage? Love or character?
Which should be the foremost in choosing a wife? To marry a good and loving gal, or to marry a girl I love that may turn out to exhibit some very bad characters?

Only for the married folks please....they have the experience.

Your girlfriend is the better of the two. Why?

1. Because you have known for years yet you cannot fault her character. She is so true and real that despite the fact that you don't love her, you could not identify any error in her.

2. She is good looking, industrious and nice. What else do you want in a woman.

My brother, let me advise you, the grass is always greener at the other side. You love the new girl because she is far from you. You have not known her. By the time you know her, all the feeling will drop to a lower quantum, hence the reason why men cheat.

Women do change including your girlfriend that loves you. All of them will change but it will be worse if she does not love you.

Think before you move.

My brother @ some point in marriages the so called LoVE ❤ gets soo cold, that you wonder if it ever existed but the gud virtue gvs u d reason to want to stay another day and fight 4 the marriage, Love without virtue becomes repulsive with time.Iwa lewa!!(

love doesn't exist!!!!! character is what matters!!!!

Chatacter is the most important one , love without a gud character will crumble at the end. One can develop love over time but character can never be build it inborn. Read John Maxwell book 5 qualities of a leader

Men are complicated

They don't even know what they want

zoelife:


But the tendency for him to cheat in such a marriage is higher.

Or don't u think so?

I doubt it cheating with men mostly has nothing to do with Love its basically a matter of self discipline

ifeomaekol:
First of all am sorry to disobey op cos am nt yet married. Nw am own suggestion is ds-------i believe u shuld go for d gal ur hrt melts for wen she smiles bt first u must find out if d feeling is mutual, take time to find out her real character n make ur evaluations. If u love her ds much it means then u cn tolerate d nt so good part of her(wch we all hv). D oda lady wt d very good character-------u hv bn wt her for 3yrs yet u feel no love, I believe strongly dt dt love wnt come after marriage, hw r u sure she wnt change afta marriage? If d love isn't dia, her slight mistake ll piss u off. U must search ur hrt, n make d decision cos often times we begin to miss n regert d things on a gd day we took for granted, dia r other things u must consider too in ur case. For eg love is one of d ingredients in marriage nt d only ingredient, find out wat oda ingredients d two ladies hv n wrk wt it.

Kai! Bad character can make the love fade away, character is the key!

End time marriage

olowoba:
Thanks for all the response so far.
Seun, lalasticlala royalroy. Kindly assist in pushing this to FP. This is a life decision I wanna make and I need more opinions. Please do so.

..


When you decided to put yourself in this situation did you consult us. ..?


Think with your brain...

insightful thread..my opinion is that @ op is adventurous,don't be surprise that they will soon add up to three or four lol then you will be more confused than never,, beta pickin dey your side you come dey fine another girl..if there is anything she lacks kindly teach her..the name you call your dog is what it will answer..it takes two to tango,, my little opinion

olowoba:
I need advise from the married folks here.
There is this lady that i have been dating for over 3 years. She's pretty, her character is almost flawless, neat, domesticated, hardworking, respects and loves me a lot. In short, she will most likely be a good wife. However, I like her but do not love her from the depth of my heart. I have tried hard to love her because shes is a good gal but it just isn't there. However, I am still considering her because she has the best character i have seen amongst all the women I have met. My greatest fear is if i will be able to endure a loveless but relatively peaceful marriage.

On the other hand, I am beginning to fall in love woth someone else that i hardly know. She appears friendly, maybe not as pretty as current girlfriend but her smile can melt my heart. I am very fond of her and I just tend to like eveything about her. I have only known her for a short time and I am almost ready to go ahead with marriage. She's nice but not as loving as my gf. My fear is - what if she turns out to be a lazy, nagging and hateful wife. Will i be able to endure a bad wife that I love so much?

So which is more important to a successful marriage? Love or character?
Which should be the foremost in choosing a wife? To marry a good and loving gal, or to marry a girl I love that may turn out to exhibit some very bad characters?

Only for the married folks please....they have the experience.

I think you should edit your post to include a poll. If you think CHARACTER is more important than LOVE, click like but if you think otherwise, click share. This will make you draw a conclusion faster. Thank you.

Marrying a lady with bad character is lik putting fire under ur roof cos she wit frustrate ur life wit her character and pple wit easily know ur house is on fire cos u luv her u wil always think about her even @ work u wil behave strangely and somehow become agressive, if ur boss noticed that guy u r gone.beside frnds and family wil stay away frm u but if u marry the one wit good character even if u dont luv her,her character wil attract ur frnd,family and even neighbor and they all luv her ur life wil be @ peace and d luv wil grow especialy when she gives u a child

for a man love is more important, while for a woman character cos beauty without character is like a golden necklace on the neck of a pig. love will make the man treat his wife rightly.

@op,
Take a look at this from another angle and ask yourself these questions

You just met the new lady, is it like an escape from the routine you have been used to for the past 3 years?

The lady with xter, is it that she is not outgoing and playful or fun like the new lady?

I think you should give 'both' relationships time before you take a decision.

You may actually be in love with the new lady or maybe its just infatuation.

You could also have fallen in love with the first lady but maybe you are too used to her to realize it.

I would advise you spice up the relationship between you and the first lady, be spontaneous and see if you would want more of it or let go.

It is common to face unprecedented challenges in the relationship after marriage and I tell what keeps one going is sometimes beyond love, it is the character of the person.

My guy go for love. If u really love the girl her bad character can never be noticed. The simple reason why they say love is blind. Let me also add this, u can never get the true character of a woman until three things happens to u. They are; 1. When a man is broke 2. When there are issues(children). 3. When u cheat on her. When all these happens and she is still with u then know that her character is stable and the marriage will last. Don't forget also character is made up of so many components. She might have a good xter in respecting u but she might have a bad character in preparing ur meal not on time. But in love no components attached. Sometimes u might not even know why u love her.

true!

CHARACTER is the better ingredient in marriage. But I'm worried about u not loving d lady with great character. Is it that you don't love yourself (because a man who doesn't love himself can't love others) or that you have trust issue (because trust is a subset of love)? Anyway go 4 character!

ademega:
love covers everything since no one has a perfect character

Love covers everything indeed. There are people that love their partners, but they make the marriage miserable for them, just because there's no good character.

ucheo:
As a married man, go for character. Thats what kept my marriage. Marriage is tough , u r lucky u met some one who loves u more than you do.
Lastly love is not enough in marriage, it has diminishing returns, soon the love will die.

I disagree at the bolded. statement. God is love, hence it cannot die. If one truly love another person, it doesnt die. if it does, it was never love in the first place

We are talking about bad character, please can someone please list out the bad characters we find in women.

Drniyi4u:
Since its only for married folks, I'll wait for their comment

that's y I slap ppl anyhow. since u know u will wait then y did u comment

PERFECT ANSWER!

ssweetorgasm:
HMMM I TELL U BRO, CHARACTER IS more important, u can always learn to love. but when character is abscent then the love gradually turns to dislike.

Kingsasian:
I can't live with someone I don't love so I prefer no.1. I know how to tame a woman with a bad character

bro I don't think u can tame a woman with bad character guy, bible says its better for u to live in a forest with wild animals than stay with a bad wife. I think with time u gato love this one with character . it once happened to me

7footre:
I'm not married, but even I know that a woman of character is worth more than all the gold in timbuktu

I swear if to say u b woman I for blow u 7 hot kisses