I found this VERY INTERESTING.

Side Chick, Mistress, The other woman; She is that girl who shares your man or worse enjoys your man more than you do. . She is the one your man pings early in the morning just to tell her “Good Morning Beautiful”. When he is with her, he is this cool guy who knows all the cool joints in town, they both sing along to Dorobucci on the radio. She is the one he takes along when he goes on business trips. It is just more convenient, she doesn’t have to think of who to leave her children with, besides she is more fun, she is the one he does acrobatic sex with, the girl who has enough time and energy to match his libido. You on the other hand are the wife, the one he has “married sex” with – the ” flam-bam-bam-yawn-are we done yet” type.

Yes he comes home to you every night but how is that going? Does he still hold you close to him every night, do you guys still play and fight under covers or does he turn his back to you and acts like he is too deep asleep to notice you have been tapping him. Yes he still buys you stuff, bags, perfumes, dresses and stuff, that’s if you are lucky though but then he buys them to ease his conscience after he and the side chick has spent a whole day shopping or worse. If the side chick is the “nice” type, she makes him buy them for you. She goes “Baby, This perfume is nice, your wife will like it”, “She doesn’t need it.” he responds frowning because he is a bit uncomfortable his mistress is picking a gift for his wife but she prevails on him.

But then I have news for you, this side chick, she usually doesn’t want to take your place, She has a boyfriend or even a fiance and so has no desire to chase you away. No, it’s only learners that operate that way. The wise side chicks are comfortable being just that, they even add you as a friend on Facebook, and they follow you on Twitter (Trust me, you most of the time don’t know they are your rival). They like the pictures of your cherub faced children, when you post your hubby’s photo captioning it as world’s best husband and gushing about how you love him to bits. They comment on it, they go “Awww, I covet”. (Yes they really covet and errr, they are already getting the better deal).

Some will even buy presents for your kids on their birthdays. You may or may not know the gifts are from them, it all depends on how far gone your husband is in this game. He could act like he got the gift himself or tell you its from this friend or colleague of his; Mrs Lagbaja she really likes the child as he is her son’s birthday mate. You even tell him to call so you can say thanks. Of course the Mrs Lagbaja or Mummy Tamedun is to make you not suspect. Saying Lara or Jennifer my friend wouldn’t have sounded so good.

It’s not like you are totally clueless, some days you ask yourself how come he no longer comments on your hairdo, other days you wonder why he seemed to be impatient or downright mean. It’s Saturday you need to cook three different soups so you could stock the freezer for the week, the floors need to be mopped, the bathrooms cleaned and yes you need to get to the market, not forgetting that you have to take Sisi to her ballet class and Bobo to his Violin lessons. Come evening, you are dog tired and depressed that you have just one more day in the weekend. You smell of Onion, Garlic, Breast milk and baby reflux. You need a hug, you go to dear husband in the Bedroom.

“I am so tired” you say. That’s an opening. You expect to hear “pele baby, why don’t you come lie down here for a while” Instead you hear “What’s that smell?” It’s so horrible, can’t you use a glove or something if you need to cut Garlic or Onions? jeez you can be so annoying.” You have an angry retort on your lips and if you are the no nonsense type, you let off, you give him a piece of your mind, “yada, yada yada”.

Finally your suspicions get the better of you. “I need to know”, you say, so you wait till he is fast asleep and pick his phone to check through (Meanwhile women who want to keep their sanity will not do this no matter the temptation). Your heart rate is 360 beats per minute, yet you can’t stop yourself. You go ahead and boom you get more than you bargained for. Not only is there a side chick, but they are so damn close, he discusses everything with her, he even tells her how much he hates seeing fishnet on your head, he tells her when your six month old had her first teeth, you wince when you read how he tells her he is preparing for work and she goes “Baby be careful o, don’t injure Big Joe with your zipper again, ayam not ready to starve for a week again o”.

You almost had a heart attack. Big Joe? That has to be his ….. “OMG, starve for a week, how often do they do it?” you thought fighting a sudden desire to go stab him to death. But wait oooo, when did he injure Big Joe that you his wife did not know? You check the date of the chat, it was about a week ago and that was when it dawned on you, “won ti gba oko mi” you murmur. “Yeh. I am a housekeeper and mother of his children. This lady is the wife.” Suddenly, it’s clear, you run your fingers through your hair trying to remember the last time you made love or the last time you even had a glimpse of his equipment – “Big Joe”. “O ti pe mehn!” You mumble. You had not made love in over 8 weeks and neither of you had missed it. As for Big Joe, it must be close to a year you saw it last. Lovemaking sorry “meeting your husband” became a middle of the night thing after your second child, no pre-intimacy (ki lonjebe), he just runs his hand over your breasts and you get the message, you spread your legs , he climbs on you and it starts, you feel nothing abi small sha, you are just too fagged out.

It hurts but what can be done? You think of giving him a giving him a big slap on the back to rouse him and demand explanations, but you realize you don’t want that confrontation. Tell Mama? Oh no, you don’t want to do that. No third parties remember. Then you remember someone who wouldn’t tell anybody else; Google! You open the Google search and type “He is cheating, what to do”. There is so much information. Wow!” You say feeling some relief that it’s not just you. Millions of women are in your shoes, there is so much advice to choose from but in the end, it is you who decide on what to do.

First you reply the last message she sent to your husband. It came in after he slept so unread. She tells him to dream of her as she will of him. She says she would be expecting him by 11.am the next day. You reply her “He sure would dream of you darling. However please don’t expect him by 11 tomorrow, he might be late. He has an errand to run for his wife at that same time. Have a nice night dearie.” Your teeth is clenched as you type, yet you derive some satisfaction. This way he will know you know.

So what next? Its morning and you wait for him to say something, you wait to see if he will confront you, but he says nothing. You watch out of the corner of your eyes as he watches you when he thinks you are too preoccupied to notice. Its 10 a.m and he is yet to yake his bath. 10.30 am and still he is on the bed. You don’t offer him food even though you made his own portion. You wait till 11 am and tells him you need to talk to him. He doesn’t respond so you start anyway. You talk about how things had to change, that you need to shed and or share some responsibilities. Henceforth, ballet practice and Violin practice will be his call. Yes, he thought house helps were unnecessary but you need one and intend to get right away, this person will resume at 7am everyday and close at 7pm. Friday nights would be date nights, you two alone anywhere but the house. You intend to go on summer vacation, Seychelles to be precise and he would be coming along. He listens to everything you say and at the end he says. “I am ready to do all you want”. I am sorry Babe”. But you say nothing.


Source: toyinfabs.

Copied from: http://naijasinglegirl.com/he-has-a-side-chick/

This article captures perfectly my take on 'side chicism'...

The ending/solution; another tory!

Its a nice msg but very long...it looks like I read the book

My babacele wud love to read this, long and well explained topic lol..

Is there really a perfect solution to ds side chick thingy? BTW ds is a perfect description of how hubbys relate with 'em may God av mercy.anyone dat has d slution shld share jus so everyone can learn

Great buildup but d end fell flat
I was expecting something huge...maybe more drama...he cave in too quickly except prob he had oda plans...

feeekey:
Is there really a perfect solution to ds side chick thingy? BTW ds is a perfect description of how hubbys relate with 'em may God av mercy.anyone dat has d slution shld share jus so everyone can learn

Babe, I dont think a perfect solution exists o.
Although im also curious to see suggestions. All we can do is pray we dont marry a womanizer.

Ballet classes? Violins? Seychelles?



Very interesting writeup though, I was hooked from the start. However I think this lady's envious imagination ran off with her on some points. A man doesn't have that much time for a side chick to be that romantically involved.

Great read though.

RiloKiley:
Ballet classes? Violins? Seychelles?



Very interesting writeup though, I was hooked from the start. However I think this lady's envious imagination ran off with her on some points. A man doesn't have that much time for a side chick to be that romantically involved.

Great read though.

The wife is the one doing the school runs

She does have a great imagination.

Lol, you guys have a weird imagination....

Are you kidding me

vilight:
Great buildup but d end fell flat
I was expecting something huge...maybe more drama...he cave in too quickly except prob he had oda plans...

@ Post especially bold abi....

I was expecting more drama

Maybe he was waiting fir the wife to give him some attention and not channeling it all to the kids.
Since he wasn't getting it, he decided to look elsewhere.
Phew!!! but you cant blame the wife. taking care of the kids its a very huge task. sometimes the woman forgets she needs attention too.

Marriage!!God help us/ them.

KashyBaby:
Its a nice msg but very long...it looks like I read the book

My babacele wud love to read this, long and well explained topic lol..

yea like a booklet ...... hmmm but it captures d plight of so many women. Why would my yesterangels/baby/sweetheart/darlings suddenly go stale today? It baffles me for real. what power has skimpy skirts ,sophisticated young looks n sex siren postures to steal us from our supposedly soulmates? somebody please tell me.

bukatyne:


@ Post especially bold abi....

I was expecting more drama

Well, is it possible the man gave up easily cos he was tired of the whole thing and secretly hoping to get caught?

RiloKiley:

Well, is it possible the man gave up easily cos he was tired of the whole thing and secretly hoping to get caught?

Lolz at secretly hoping to get caught

KashyBaby:
Its a nice msg but very long...it looks like I read the book

My babacele wud love to read this, long and well explained topic lol..

yea ,kashybaby,its like a booklet on tragedy wrapped in comedy...... hmmm but it captures d plight of so many women. Why would my yesterangel/baby/sweetheart/darling suddenly go stale today? It baffles me for real. what power has skimpy skirts ,sophisticated young looks n sex siren postures to steal us from our supposedly soulmates? my searchlight points at the faulty foundation of such relationships. were the couples really meant for each other right from the start? somebody please tell me more .

Babacele:
yea ,kashybaby,its like a booklet on tragedy wrapped in comedy...... hmmm but it captures d plight of so many women. Why would my yesterangel/baby/sweetheart/darling suddenly go stale today? It baffles me for real. what power has skimpy skirts ,sophisticated young looks n sex siren postures to steal us from our supposedly soulmates? my searchlight points at the faulty foundation of such relationships. were the couples really meant for each other right from the start? somebody please tell me more .

Lol...no offense but u talked like a married man now ( in a good way)...mmmm...if my instinct is true, she must be very lucky to have a good speaker in the house

Babacele:
yea ,kashybaby,its like a booklet on tragedy wrapped in comedy...... hmmm but it captures d plight of so many women. Why would my yesterangel/baby/sweetheart/darling suddenly go stale today? It baffles me for real. what power has skimpy skirts ,sophisticated young looks n sex siren postures to steal us from our supposedly soulmates? my searchlight points at the faulty foundation of such relationships. were the couples really meant for each other right from the start? somebody please tell me more .

Variety is the spice of life.

The person who wrote this is talented ........

Men that cheat need to be castrated

Fhemmmy:
I think if you look through the write-up, there is already solutions there . . . read through very well and the side babe thing will be reduced (Can't be eradicated)

I don't think the wife over-working herself is an excuse to cheating though.

As per solutions, the end is too flat joor.

If that would solve it, why didn't he suggest it earlier?

MrsPhyno:
The person who wrote this is talented ........

Men that cheat need to be castrated

Very

KashyBaby:



Lol...no offense but u talked like a married man now ( in a good way)...mmmm...if my instinct is true, she must be very lucky to have a good speaker in the house

I think she would be

Fhemmmy:


So all you see in that write-up is the man that cheats and not the issue that led to it (I am not saying cheating is good, but both the man and the woman needs to prevent it from happening because once it starts, hard to end it )

There's only one way to prevent it na. The man should just not cheat. Finish . Otherwise he's a liar, a lousy human being who can't control himself and breaks promises.

SIRcumalot:
Variety is the spice of life.

Bros explain pls so dt we can learn..

..... I like the write up .....

MrsPhyno:
The person who wrote this is talented ........

Men that cheat need to be castrated

And WOMEN that cheat nkor? Beheaded?

Superwoman.

Fhemmmy:


And how do you prevent him from cheating?

Who is the him? I don't prevent; its ultimately his choice.
If he chooses to sin and break his vows to God., his wife and his family, thats nobodies fault but his own

funlord:


And WOMEN that cheat nkor? Beheaded?

Behead gini

Maybe female genital mutilation