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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Brother Is Like A Houseboy To His Wife (61744 Views)
My Brother Is Too Lazy. / My Brother Is Addicted To Weed And Now Tutolin, HELP! / I Am Scared, My Fiancee And Her Mum Treats Her Father Like A Houseboy (2) (3) (4)
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Re: My Brother Is Like A Houseboy To His Wife by lolaluv1(f): 3:59pm On Dec 27, 2015 |
Oyind17: Well, just maintain your lane ![]() 5 Likes |
Re: My Brother Is Like A Houseboy To His Wife by Kx: 4:03pm On Dec 27, 2015 |
Siena:Oga Siena where have u been? Missed your useful advice on car issues. Good to read your post again seasons greetings 2 Likes |
Re: My Brother Is Like A Houseboy To His Wife by Nobody: 4:18pm On Dec 27, 2015 |
lolaluv1:I dey my own jejely na him dey worry me to visit him. Truth is I can't type everything here but its not normal to me |
Re: My Brother Is Like A Houseboy To His Wife by Nobody: 4:55pm On Dec 27, 2015 |
Kx: Bros...I dey o. Belated Merry Christmas. |
Re: My Brother Is Like A Houseboy To His Wife by Pidggin(f): 5:31pm On Dec 27, 2015 |
Oyind17: When I went to spend time with my elder brother and his family, I noticed the kids were very close to him, in fact much closer to him than to their mother. After a while, I discovered why, it is because he is involved with the kids, he helps out as much as he can and I was surprised to see him even change his baby's diapers. OP, It seems you are not too happy that your SIL is enjoying her marriage? If a man doesn't help at home, you will complain, if he does, you will say his wife is using him. I really hope your brother has your medicine. 11 Likes |
Re: My Brother Is Like A Houseboy To His Wife by thelish(f): 5:48pm On Dec 27, 2015 |
lolaluv1:yes oooo. nor be short one ooo. This is advanced one. lol 1 Like |
Re: My Brother Is Like A Houseboy To His Wife by bukatyne(f): 5:58pm On Dec 27, 2015 |
I will genuinely never understand the general perspective of headship, breadwinnership & husband material. So it is OK for a man to 'send/maltreat' his wife if he is the breadwinner? A loving husband is jazzed if he is our brother and loving if he is our husband. @OP: you never can tell by your 'visits' the true picture of a home. If you think there are issues, pray about it. 12 Likes |
Re: My Brother Is Like A Houseboy To His Wife by byvan03: 6:12pm On Dec 27, 2015 |
You visited without calling, why? You should consider yourself lucky that you weren't left outside there. I will advise you never to visit people unaware. If you think your brother is jazzed, keep praying for him and keep your nose out of another woman's marriage. You will get married someday, so be very careful how you treat women married into your family. 9 Likes |
Re: My Brother Is Like A Houseboy To His Wife by ogawisdom(m): 7:16pm On Dec 27, 2015 |
cococandy: U r an idi.ot to think a man of d house shld b turned into an errand boy even b4 guests, a man is d lord of d house n nt some erand boy for d wife to command at will. Sorry men if ur wife is d breadwinner u must do whatever she says dts d exception ![]() ![]() For respect sake there r some things u dnt ask ur husband to do if u ve respect for him. Jesus hw did we get here, asking ur husband to dish food for ur sister a guest ![]() 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Brother Is Like A Houseboy To His Wife by cococandy(f): 7:17pm On Dec 27, 2015 |
ogawisdom:So the woman of the house should be turned into an errand girl? 9 Likes |
Re: My Brother Is Like A Houseboy To His Wife by ogawisdom(m): 7:28pm On Dec 27, 2015 |
cococandy: A woman was married by a man she is under him n nt d other way round. Men pay bride price u kw When a man can't provide for his household he becomes a sisi dts d only exception. Role reversal dts wat u get 4 Likes |
Re: My Brother Is Like A Houseboy To His Wife by lilmax(m): 7:33pm On Dec 27, 2015 |
ogawisdom:you never see anything sef......this is just the beginning At this rate next generation of men will be manginas not men 1 Like |
Re: My Brother Is Like A Houseboy To His Wife by Moana(f): 7:40pm On Dec 27, 2015 |
Oyind17:your brother is not his wife's servant and neither is his wife his servant either. There is nothing wrong in doing things for your wife and there is nothing wrong in your wife doing things for you. Another thing get your own wife and mind your own business, their marriage is working well for them and your ideas of marriage should be saved for your own marriage and not imposed were it doesn't belong. Unless your brother lost his eyesight from serving food and tying up some yam i highly doubt you should be giving yourself a nose bleed over something thats none of your business. 9 Likes |
Re: My Brother Is Like A Houseboy To His Wife by ogawisdom(m): 7:45pm On Dec 27, 2015 |
lilmax: D way women r going with their equality b4 long some women will b paying groom price n marrying men of their choice. I see this happening b4 long ![]() Today women r men without di.cks, if only men can get pregnant by nw dt role would have been shared in d home. Men shld hustle n provide for their family if u fail in dt u will b insulted 2 Likes |
Re: My Brother Is Like A Houseboy To His Wife by NiceJenny(f): 7:59pm On Dec 27, 2015 |
Ones they are living peace is no1's biz 6 Likes |
Re: My Brother Is Like A Houseboy To His Wife by NiceJenny(f): 7:59pm On Dec 27, 2015 |
Ones they are living in peace is no1's biz [/code][code][code][/code] |
Re: My Brother Is Like A Houseboy To His Wife by lilmax(m): 8:12pm On Dec 27, 2015 |
ogawisdom:a dream that will never come true ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: My Brother Is Like A Houseboy To His Wife by Fanirandele: 8:20pm On Dec 27, 2015 |
ogawisdom: Many families in my tribe don't collect bride price again so that doesn't apply much these days, neither party should be a slave to the other. It doesn't matter who earns more, mutual respect is the key word of a good marriage .Imagine someone saying he was surprised to see his brother changing his baby's diaper ![]() 14 Likes |
Re: My Brother Is Like A Houseboy To His Wife by toksbisola: 9:45pm On Dec 27, 2015 |
@Op; what I’m about to type would be a bit brutal and harsh which you probably might not like but bear with me; here we go. It’s imperative for us to stay out of a marital home that ain't ours. I know you might say as your brother is not complaining; then you should be the one to complain on his behalf. IT WILL BE IN YOUR OWN INTEREST TO LEARN TO MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS (no offence, hope none taken). I won't even comment on the aspect of you turning up in your brothers house without telling him first and forget that analogy of it being your brother's house as that is now another woman's home hence; you now need an invite to go there since your brother is no longer single; courtesy demands so. Aside that, have you actually discussed in confidence with your brother about your observations of him turning into a house boy running errands for his wife? I hope you have before you came to this conclusion. Your brother is an adult in his own right and has chosen his wife; so whether you like it or not you are an outsider as long as his family is concerned; meaning you are not his wife and neither are you his daughter. For your information, theirs nothing wrong in a husband helping his wife out. You said your sister-in-law is loaded (don’t know if she makes more money than your brother) and maybe that’s why you feel she’s using your brother as a house boy. I doubt that very much; hence, don’t think that because she’s loaded therefore she’s taken over headship from your brother as that might not be the case. A man will leave his mother and his father and he will stick to his wife. YOU ARE NOT YOUR BROTHERS WIFE HENCE DON’T GO THEIR AND CAUSE UNNECESSARY STRESS FOR YOUR SISTER-IN-LAW. That might be the way your brother and his wife do their thing; and yet, you want to go ahead and cause trouble; WHATEVER FOR? Do you know whether your brother offended his wife and this is the way of him showing how sorry he is to get back in her good books? I’m sure you wouldn’t know; yet you’re sticking your nose in an area where they haven’t called you in to adjudicate. You’re also agitating to tell your mum which might be right as well as wrong. Let me tell you a little story. I know of a similar case where the sister-in-law like you; told their mother how his wife turned her brother into a house boy and the mother went there to confront/fight her daughter-in-law and guess what, on the day the argument started, the mother had a stroke and till today she’s like a vegetable (a once healthy woman) and as for her son’s wife, all she said was sorry; bear in mind that her daughter-in-law is not the one that is suffering from the effects of a stroke. As for her mother-in-law, her life has changed completely from having a healthy life before she confronted her daughter-in-law to now suffering as a stroke victim. This is as a result of her daughter who couldn’t keep her nose out of the business of her brother coming to report to her mother what was happening in her son's house. I only mentioned this experience for you to be careful about how you're going to discuss this issue with your mother. Desist from going to create troubles unnecessarily as you don’t live with your brother hence you ain’t party to the A to Z of how your brother and his wife runs their home. You don’t know if the wife was suffering from a medical issue on the day you visited and your brother felt it right to assist his wife in that manner by becoming a house boy as you term it; YOU JUST DON’T KNOW; HENCE THIS YOUR CONCLUSION IS BASELESS. Although you might say you didn't observe anything wrong with her physically; doesn’t mean that nothing was wrong. It wouldn’t be in your brother's best interest to start discussing with you if his wife has a medical condition; IT IS NOT YOUR BUSINESS. If you are not married yourself then you might not fully understand how a husband and wife relate as against a boyfriend/girlfriend. If anyone should be the one complaining that his wife is sending him on errands it should be your brother; and if he is not complaining then please learn to stay clear of your brother’s marriage. When you saw the house boy errand going on with your brother, there was no harm in you saying; let me get it for you brother. Would that have taken a hair from your body seeing that you didn’t like his wife sending your brother on errands like a house boy? I guess not. There are times when your brother also sends his wife on errands and my question to you would be is she a house girl? I’m pretty sure if you see that your brother is sending his wife up and down the whole place on errands you will sit down comfortable and say after all that is what a wife should be to her husband a house girl; so lets not play sentiments here and in the process, get yourself worked-up/upset because it is your brother that is being sent on errands. When you are married and your husband expects you to do every single thing in your house then you’ll remember this day of your experience in your brother’s home where you would have loved it if your husband assist you on some errands. Or let me put it differently; assuming your husbands’ sister comes visiting and sees you sending her brother errands like a house boy and she goes and tells your husbands' mother(your mother-in-law) and she subsequently comes to confront you for turning her son (your husband) into a house boy; I wonder what you will do. I am just trying to imagine you telling your mother/sister-in-law to mind their own business. But now that it's your brother, you want your mother to go and create a scene in the peaceful home that your brother, his wife and child(ren) co-exist in? I just hope that the peaceful home your brother currently has and is enjoying; your actions’ wouldn’t mess up their home/marriage and allow a once peaceful home degenerate into a broken home because of YOUR BUSYBODY ANTICS (no offence, hope none taken). You really don’t know if behind close doors your brother has the upper hand where he is in total control as the head of his home. MY FINAL WORDS TO YOU WOULD BE TO STAY OUT OF YOUR BROTHERS MARRIAGE; (FACE YOUR OWN RELATIONSHIP (IF YOU HAVE ONE) MOST ESPECIALLY IF THERE IS PEACE IN HIS HOME. AS VERY SOON, YOUR BROTHER IF CARE IS NOT TAKEN WOULD BAN YOU FROM COMING TO HIS HOME SO AS NOT TO DESTROY HIS PEACEFUL HOME; SINCE YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO STAY OUT OF OTHER PEOPLES BUSINESS. TAKE SEVERAL SITS BACK AND STOP TAKING PANADOL FOR ANOTHER PERSONS’ HEADACHE; ESPECIALLY IF THEY DIDN’T CALL YOU TO TAKE THE PANADOL ON THEIR BEHALF. It’s in cases such as what @op has narrated that makes me believe that women are indeed their own worst enemies. I rest my case 14 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Brother Is Like A Houseboy To His Wife by lolaluv1(f): 10:09pm On Dec 27, 2015 |
Oyind17: Hmmn. A marriage counselor I had interaction with, told me that they advise in laws not to visit the couple for a year, at least. Especially from the man's side. That this will give the husband and wife time to settle in, without uneccessary issues. In fact, he specifically told me that the wife might be sick or might be feeling like being spoilt by hubby and enjoin him to cook and affirmed it sometimes happens in his own house. He said an in law, if around, would definitely pick offence. I am not asking you to stay away from visitations. But when you are around a couple, it's just not black and white. 5 Likes |
Re: My Brother Is Like A Houseboy To His Wife by Acidosis(m): 10:19pm On Dec 27, 2015 |
@OP, please face your business. When your brother breaks down completely and diagnosed/ and confirmed hypertensive, please mind your business. When your brother continues to run errands even on the hospital bed, continue to face your business 2 Likes |
Re: My Brother Is Like A Houseboy To His Wife by bennyrazz: 10:36pm On Dec 27, 2015 |
@oyind17, he is your brother and when you see things are going wrong in his marriage, you have every right to intervene indirectly. But the kind of intervene you will do is through intercessory prayers. Keep praying for your brother and if possible ask some pastors to pray for him too. His wife might be the one financing the home at the moment and maybe she calls the shots. You have to find out his financial status first, if he has no money, intercede through prayers for financial breakthrough. If he is financially capable and he is turned into a houseboy in his own home, then the prayers will have to be serious. 3 Likes |
Re: My Brother Is Like A Houseboy To His Wife by thelish(f): 10:45pm On Dec 27, 2015 |
toksbisola:Bros, u get strength oooo. All these epistle because of no nonsense mama n jealousy sil? pple like this, don't have time to read ooo. You know how busy detectives are? 9 Likes |
Re: My Brother Is Like A Houseboy To His Wife by toksbisola: 10:59pm On Dec 27, 2015 |
@thelish; you're very funny; lol. Sometimes though, a long epistle like this, helps to reset matters. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Brother Is Like A Houseboy To His Wife by thelish(f): 11:12pm On Dec 27, 2015 |
toksbisola:OK oooo. I pray make she read am sha. |
Re: My Brother Is Like A Houseboy To His Wife by Caveatemptor(m): 4:25am On Dec 28, 2015 |
I tell you,people like this OP has her mind made up and will never rest until she turns that happy home upside down. She sounds like a broke jobless person trying to teach a rich,employed person how to make money. 12 Likes |
Re: My Brother Is Like A Houseboy To His Wife by 2sex(m): 8:17am On Dec 28, 2015 |
KAI... OP don enter one chance ooo. ALL THE WOMEN HERE WILL ROAST YOU ALIVE! They see nothing wrong in that... choi. 1 Like |
Re: My Brother Is Like A Houseboy To His Wife by 2sex(m): 8:19am On Dec 28, 2015 |
Caveatemptor: As usual, when you talk about something like this, they tag you as jobless... they see nothing wrong in it for a man of the house to be sent on errands in his own house. ![]() 4 Likes |
Re: My Brother Is Like A Houseboy To His Wife by 2sex(m): 8:30am On Dec 28, 2015 |
cococandy:not really but the home or house is the woman's responsibility na. Oyibo don spoil many things in Nigeria and Africa at large... I swear. haba... na wa o. There is nothing wrong in helping a wife but from what the OP posted, it is clear that he does much more. Even if I can over look what happened on the dinning, not the case of my own brother running errand in front of SIL... he he he.. as usual, nairalanders see nothing wrong in things like this and the OP is automatically a jobless fellow because he stated something that does not look pleasing to the eyes. of course people are jobless in situation like this... lol. Everybody has their own limit but I do know I can't tolerate such from any woman, not even when a son is grown up to open the gate.. aye oo. nkon be 3 Likes |
Re: My Brother Is Like A Houseboy To His Wife by 2sex(m): 8:32am On Dec 28, 2015 |
Tundeiab:she said "no nonsense" not nonsense. you need spectacles ![]() |
Re: My Brother Is Like A Houseboy To His Wife by Caveatemptor(m): 10:42am On Dec 28, 2015 |
2sex: For your information that was a proverb,read carefully and comprehend. It means she is not married but is trying to teach a happily married couple how to run their home. My friend the figures that come after figure 6 are more than 7. What works for each couple varies just like the weather. The OP should go and get married and then run her own home as she likes. In her brothers home she is an intruder. Simple. 9 Likes |
Re: My Brother Is Like A Houseboy To His Wife by Acidosis(m): 11:43am On Dec 28, 2015 |
OP asked a wrong question. I'm not surprised to see the volume of attack you received. What you should have asked is whether men would accept such from their wives; and whether wives would treat their husbands as errand boys. I personally won't accept such from anyone. Cooking for my sister-in-law? Washing her plates? Serving her pottage? ![]() You can help a sis-in-law get food stuffs, if you're mobile, you can drive and assist with whatever she wants, but doing this concurrently with cooking, and serving food? Ewwwwww!! ![]() As regards your brother, I think its best you ignore him. If he enjoys running errands for a bossy lady, why not? It's his dream and divine calling. What I don't know is whether the call/dream is from Satan or from Devil, but its certainly not from God. God's purpose for MEN has not changed. Globalization, Westernization, Colonization and Americanization can never change divination. In summary, ignore your brother! 8 Likes |
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