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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Upside Down Marriage (81910 Views)
Young Girl Tied Upside Down, Tortured On Witchcraft Allegation (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Upside Down Marriage by Empiree: 9:41pm On Dec 26, 2015 |
Subhannallah! This is some big serious matrimonial problems She becomes detrimental to you, your job, your daughter and your future. So far, your pastor is unable to come to a reasonable term as to whether to dissolve your marriage or not. At this time, I wont say to rush to divorce (but honestly, divorce is long due). You really dont have to be in this abusive relationship. First, in my opinion, get your daughter off her. She is not supposed to be in such environment. Your wife is not fit enough to assume her custody. Therefore, your daughter's well being is paramount. You may want to place her in care of your in-laws or your parents Now, a woman who sleeps around or commits adultery is really a ground for divorce. You gonna have to review your christian faith which states, according to you that "me and my wife till death do us apart". Clearly, that theory is garbage.....sorry to speak. One option you have if you decide to help her is rehabilitation. Rehab doesnt work if she's not ready to change. I can not tolerate a woman who sleeps around. She poses deadly threats to you. She isnt cheating on you with one man but multiple men. So far, she causes you sleepless night, loss of job, becomes hazard to your daughter and your future together is at stake. Op, time to get out. DIVORCE IS AN OPTION. Go to court not pastor and file for divorce and custody of your child. And you should get restraining order as well. She's not suitable to be mother. Print out your op and give it to your Attorney. Done already with family. Stop reporting to family and make it official. All the pix and texts are evidence to halt your union. But if you continue like this I am afraid you will be dead soon. You are a man and God places power in you. You do not need your parents to decide your next move. Get over that and leave......like NOW 2 Likes |
Re: Upside Down Marriage by Curlygirl(f): 9:59pm On Dec 26, 2015 |
My brother leave that marriage before this your wife kills you.at least ask fot the sake of your children before you become a murderer. She needs deliverance. This is a story for other young unsuspecting men to read. Look before you leap. |
Re: Upside Down Marriage by lonelydora: 10:08pm On Dec 26, 2015 |
Tallesty1: At all. This Op is a disgrace to manhood. 1 Like |
Re: Upside Down Marriage by henryhemon(m): 10:15pm On Dec 26, 2015 |
Curlygirl: Are you married? |
Re: Upside Down Marriage by dominique(f): 10:25pm On Dec 26, 2015 |
queenfav: ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Re: Upside Down Marriage by seaga: 10:37pm On Dec 26, 2015 |
The piece is so long, but read enough, to know she is exhibiting post trauma.It could be as a result of the incident far back in school.I believe her parents are aware of her psychosis, it triggers swiftly. She is a danger to herself and everyone around her.Its unfortunate you re locked up in this.What you need to do is obvious, before it becomes a double psychotic case. |
Re: Upside Down Marriage by enyioma10000(f): 10:58pm On Dec 26, 2015 |
hmmm, you are a man indeed if ur are still in DAT marriage with ur clear eyes. you see, these are one of d reasons y am scared of getting married. @op, I pray d good Lord will see you through, protect you n give you d wisdom to handle this issue. |
Re: Upside Down Marriage by xenten: 11:28pm On Dec 26, 2015 |
samocholi: If this story is true, bro you married an "holy ashawo". do me a favour. take your daughter for a DNA test. pls. Divorce her immediately |
Re: Upside Down Marriage by mohyaw(f): 1:54am On Dec 27, 2015 |
Shhhhhhhhh....his wife is reading.. |
Re: Upside Down Marriage by suzzy16(f): 3:18am On Dec 27, 2015 |
pogolowa1:yeah I think,seriously |
Re: Upside Down Marriage by suzzy16(f): 3:26am On Dec 27, 2015 |
MzCorleone:Word!!!,he who has ears,let. Him hear |
Re: Upside Down Marriage by mikolo80: 3:35am On Dec 27, 2015 |
[quote author=samocholi post=41336082] Greetings to u all,please I need a candid advise because am fed up and confused at same time.It all started in 2011 when I met my wife through my collegue in the bank. I used to work in operations and hardly have time to truly search for a wife that is what I thought back then.so I had this collegue of mind who appears responsible and is also a church worker in a responsible church,not all these money making churchs.so I confided in him , so one day he came to me that he has this lady where he normally goes to worship atimes that he will take me to meet her ,that she is God fearing ,a church worker and her father is a pastor in one of the northern states,which he did and introduced us and gradually we started dating, I even took her to see my parent.to their amazement she woke up around 4am and swept and cleaned the house before we could even wake up for morning prayers.when my Dad saw this he was really please and was like this truly is wife material.but my Mum was like don’t conclude oh as per girls of nowadays that we should keep praying.at first I wanted us to do our traditional marriage in April 2012 and after that white wedding but she started indirectly pressuring me that we should do trad in August and white in November,2011.i thot about it,and with my naïve mind said to myself that since she seems nice and am ready to marry. I agreed and we got married in 2011.we did both court and church marriage.immediatly we came back from honey moon my life has been one hell of a life or another.it began when my former collegue in the bank sent her sister to bring her cv to me incase we are recruiting so that I can submit for her.so the lady called later to thank me for the assistance and my wife was with me in the sitting room.it was around 7-8pm.after the call my wife started quarreling,that who is that lady calling me that am cheating on her,she went inside the room and brought out our wedding cert.that she will tear it and that we should go our separate ways.i became shocked ,I then told her that she can take the lady’s number or I can call the lady in her presence.that I don’t even know the lady. I did not even have the lady number in my phone,the lady collected my number to follow up and that is all. I left her with my phones and entered the room.this was happening barely a month and a half after our wedding.as the days go by she started bringing different quarrels and problem.after like a year two month into the marriage,one faithful Friday night after I came back from work and I was fast asleep she woke me up around 11pm that we should talk.and I told her that if we can leave it till morning knowing fully well that the next day was satuday unless if the matter is btw life and death then I can wait.she said it is not btw life and death and was insisting that we talk before I knew it she brought out a knife and wanted to stab me so I manage to collect the knife and threw it into the wordrobe. By then the sleep in my eyes cleared immediately and I was like what is the matter what is wrong or what wrong have I done to her,my people up till tofday she has not given me an answer.so she stood there speechless so I assume all is well then as I was going tom bed she took one of her high heel and struck me behind my head I fell down and went blank.after a while I woke up and saw her looking at me.so I got up and entered my car with blood all over me to her uncle’s house and showed them and told them what happened.before I continue we live in Abj,so the uncle called her parent and her mum came to Abj the next day.before then I had written and taken my divorce letter to the pastor that am not doing again. After that the pastor and her people intervened and talked to her. I went to that my colleague that introduced her to me that what does he know about her that I may not know so he said she told him in confidence that she was in cult in the university and that her boyfriend then was the capon.she also told him that the boy friend was shot in school then and died in her arms.when I confronted her she down played everything and wanted to pick a quarrel,so that one died down. Before I continue,am a banker ,and my wife has a boutique that she sells men wears in Abj. She hardly laughs but b4 we got married she was always laughing.i havs severally asked her what the matter is but she will say it is nothing. Before now I did not know that my wife is a runs girl,after our baby’s birth in Dec 2012 my wife went and did family planning without my consent,it was in the evening when the stuf started disturbing her that I got to know. In August last year that is 2014,I was watching news when she came back by 9:30pm,she started making it a habit of coming late in 2014 and that has caused serious quarrel btw us. So when she came in she droped her phone on the center table and went inside to take her shower.as I was watching the television I now said let me go through her gallery because she likes taking pictures.after that I now checked her messages.i was shocked what I saw. She sent a text to a married man,saying that she cursed him with the sperm he pured inside her and the man said it was mutual that she is the one came to his house to collect money for the shoes and shirts he bought,he also said he will curse her with his children’s life that she is not the only one that has a child and insisted that it was mutual.at that point my hands started shaking and before I know I she jumped out of the bathroom with soap on her body to take her phone.immediatly she came to the sitting room and saw me with her phone she frozed for like 15seconds not knowing what to say after that I asked her who is the man and she said that I was one of her friends from owerri that used her phone to chat the man. when I checked the chat history it was not just one day chat it spans four days becos the chat was very lengthy. So I was pissed off, I reported the issue to the pastor where we got married and he down play it that she cannot do such a thing.. My wife has quarreled with all my neighbours in my compound of 8 flat,she has also quarreled with our security guards at the gate to the extent that they have refused to wash her car.On 25 of dec 2014 after returning from the church my wife spreed her cloth under the sun and my neighbour’s puppy came and played with the cloth and tore part of it.the next day she went to tell then but she did not grt a good response so she went behind and boiled hot water and pured on the puppy. My neighbor’s wife went and call police for her the next day being Sunday.but their aim is to keep her in cell till Monday to teach her a lesson.unknown to them my uncle is a top police officer so I called him and we were able to bail her putting Monday date.since then small thing my wife will start saying things that she is suspecting me , that am having am affair.i now told her how,she now said a man that does not drink alcohol and does not smoke will surely womanise.i then asure her that I have done nothing of such.and truly since I married her four years ago I have never looked at any woman aside her. To cut a long stry short,February this year as usual during valentine I to her to a shop and asked her to pick whatever she wants.then she picked cloths and shoes worth 70k and I paid. After that February ending I usually give her 50k for upkeep so tha day I had keep the 50k but there was a plumbing problem that I had to take 5k out of it to solve so I gave her 45k promising to bring the balance home or I credit her,and that faithful morning we were having a meeting in which a top official is coming from head office and my head of operations was nor around so I was sitting in for her. so I asked my wife to help me take our daughter to sch that day as I have to rush to the office b4 time. After giving my wife the 45k she threw it on the floor that it is not enough and started insulting me that what kind of useless job is that ,unknown to me she had gone and locked the entrance door and taken the key,as I was about to go out I discovered that the door was lock,so I called her aunte to talk to her,as she was on the phone with the aunt I went through the back door. As I was about to drive out I saw my wife rushing to close the gate with only pant and singlet,I mean pant and singlet not bump hort or rapper.i was surprise,but before she could close the gate I had already passed she now took a big stone and stared running after the car. she threw the stone at my suv ,it sounded like a bomb very loud.at first I did not know what happened untill I saw her running towards the car so I stoped,she now came held my side mirrow and started breaking it so I had to drive off. I was devasted and could not make it to work,so I called someone in the office that I won’st be able to make it to the office that am having some issues at home. She went back to the house and called my Dad that if I come back she will kill me.so my Dad called me and I explained to him immediately what happened. so he said I should not go back home that day, I went and slept in a hotel In town .so the next day her mum came and I went home.Now it is not that am afraid of her but because I respect women and will not want to beat ofr fight her,I am far biger and taller than her if I decide to cough she will vanish so is not that am afraid of her am only respecting the marriage institution. When I got home the second day to resume work the third day I discovered that she had tore all my cloths,my shirt both office and casuals,all my suit including my wedding suit,.so I had nothing to wear the next day.so I missed work wednesdy,Thursday and Friday,during all these happening I have been in touch with my office and told them am having some family issues and could not make it to work. I resumed the next Monday to work and everything seem to be going well, then on Tuesday I got a sack letter from human resources of the bank.unkonwn to me. the new manager that was posted to my branch got a querry for myself and the head of you need to work on your backhand I am very serious. |
Re: Upside Down Marriage by mikolo80: 3:36am On Dec 27, 2015 |
ERONX:na belt and panKere him go use na |
Re: Upside Down Marriage by holycrest(f): 5:19am On Dec 27, 2015 |
run away from her |
Re: Upside Down Marriage by Nobody: 5:23am On Dec 27, 2015 |
There are lots of kids on Nairaland who thinks marriage is something u wake up one morning and run from.... I only have one question to ask ...Did you seek Gods face before marrying HER ![]() Now that you are in this situation,ur child should be ur number 1 priority,after u have guarranty ur child safety then you give her all the freedom she wants....just wake up one morning and leave the whole house for her...dont go back to the house,change ur fone number and start over.. .let her enjoyed her wasteful life to the max and also you need to be very prayerful
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Re: Upside Down Marriage by stonecoldcafe: 6:21am On Dec 27, 2015 |
dlox147: Hmm! Thanks for your reply. May he continue to RIP |
Re: Upside Down Marriage by mrofficial(m): 6:21am On Dec 27, 2015 |
samocholi: [size=13pt]Please confirm to us that you have run away from that devil and also filed divorce letter. That's what I'm interested in. Not the appreciation you wrote up there.[/size] |
Re: Upside Down Marriage by gemale(m): 6:56am On Dec 27, 2015 |
Hian!!!! Dis mata ehn o dikwa very serious my broda. Nwuye gi bu a very devilish karashika. U need 2 run away 4rm her ASAP. Even if na 2 squat wt 1 distant relative or frnd, do it. Then carry ur 2 legs sharply 2 mountain of fire prayer city 4 serious deliverance & "karashika fall & die o" prayer because d witch obviously has u under babanla jazz 4 u 2 have endured dis amnt of tribulations. Unless God does super special intervention in d lyf of ur wyf, D marriage don pack up already so b getting ready 4 divorce proceedings. |
Re: Upside Down Marriage by perryy(m): 8:17am On Dec 27, 2015 |
First of all, I don't believe you. How can a woman made me lose my banking job and she will still remain in my house? How can a woman smarsh my windscreen, stoped me from going to work, tore all my clothes and I still allow her in my house? How will u see ur wife cursing a man with the sperm he poured inside her ,u didn't chase her out of your house, rather u went to report to her pastor who might as well be one of her 4kers? I can't imagine all these things to be true. I'm a married man, and I can't tolerate 1/100th of those rubbish , hence, I don't believe the story. You smarshed my windscreen, and I miss work, that sealed the whole thing. From the hotel, I go to work the next day, from there , it is either I return to chase her to hell or I will never go back to that house toblive with a demon. I'm boiling inside. If this is true, u own all the blame. You are a weakling. 1 Like |
Re: Upside Down Marriage by mygee33(m): 8:57am On Dec 27, 2015 |
OP, the best thing you can do now is seperation so as to get back to your feet. U need to get a new job to restore your courage.. if possible you send ur kid to ur mum to take care of.. Ur really tried,I cant endure like you. The day you lost your job would have been the day for you to end this madness.. U need time to find a virtuous woman for a wife. . once a runs girl always a runs girl.. infidelity is a good reasonfor christian divorce. you are lucky ur not from part of Delta state u would have long died..the have a myth that once your wife sleeps outside and cooks for you, you will die.. |
Re: Upside Down Marriage by DzTzl(f): 9:37am On Dec 27, 2015 |
This is why I detest "pastor interference" don't get me wrong, your pastor & folks didn't give you the best of advice by telling you to give her a second chance & trust me he will be present on your burial ceremony to give sermon if YOU DO NOT * Leave that demonic wife of yours for good * Go for deliverance, take your bible & prayers seriously * Continue your search for a new job God bless you, happy new year in advance |
Re: Upside Down Marriage by Nobody: 11:29am On Dec 27, 2015 |
I sympathise with you bruv but l would advise you stay away from her for now. Your daughter too should be separated from her, but l fear this might worsen her situation mentally and emotionally, cos it's apparent she's under the influence of an evil spirit. Based on what you've written, it appears you still love her whether she's bewitched you or not, and if that's the case; it's advisable you pray seriously. I sincerely believe if you fast and pray very well, God will reveal many things to you that seem vague regarding your marriage. I pray God will give you the grace to overcome these challenges via prayers because this is a serious battle. She's made mistakes in the past that has opened a doorway for evil spirits to possess her, but l still believe she can be set free from this evil bondage. I will leave you with this warning, that's got to do with the 'Day of Judgement' in that God will ask you what steps did you take as His child to alleviate the discomfort your wife went through. This is because we will all give account to God based on the people we met whilst on earth, as well as the time and talents He's given us to manage amongst other questions that we will need to answer on that day. Stay blessed bruv, and remember that God loves you! |
Re: Upside Down Marriage by suzzy16(f): 12:39pm On Dec 27, 2015 |
madepearl:good advise |
Re: Upside Down Marriage by suzzy16(f): 1:55pm On Dec 27, 2015 |
ajuwarhodes:hmmmm,abusive relationship again!!!,what. Re. U still waiting for,will. U like it to physical abuse before. U opt out,cos seriously,verbal abuse always leads to dat 1 Like |
Re: Upside Down Marriage by suzzy16(f): 3:16pm On Dec 27, 2015 |
bellville:shame |
Re: Upside Down Marriage by Fanirandele: 3:45pm On Dec 27, 2015 |
i will give you the same advise i would give a woman in an abusive marriage, get out asap or else one day she will kill you while demonstrating her madness or you may accidentally kill her while defending yourself. Either way such situations don't end well, leave that house maybe that will make her repent but first get out after that you can decide based on her changing or not if you should give things a 2nd chance |
Re: Upside Down Marriage by TV01(m): 6:29pm On Dec 27, 2015 |
cococandy:Cococandy, you never drop ![]() The floor is your is you want to go straight to divorce - in fact, don't even bother to label it a "shitty marriage" first, in order to justify it ![]() We are busy putting the "merry" into christmas and you are scouring NL looking for divorce cases? E no dey tire you? Abeg, tell Oga to "murder that thing" ![]() ![]() TV 1 Like |
Re: Upside Down Marriage by cococandy(f): 7:07pm On Dec 27, 2015 |
If I didn't call you out will you be here pretending to ask him to work on the marriage ![]() We only see you jump into action when an abused woman is advised to leave for her own safety. No be today. Well anyhow you paint it, someone who's doesn't have selective eyesight will know that I don't prescribe divorce for every troubled couple. That one is a figment of biased imagination. But it just kills you to admit the truth that life is more precious than dying in a violent Union. Anyway Who's that cutie on your signature. TV01: 1 Like |
Re: Upside Down Marriage by TV01(m): 7:23pm On Dec 27, 2015 |
cococandy:I did ask him to work on his marriage that's a generic response for me - indeed, what has he been doing ![]() cococandy:Please evidence this ![]() cococandy:Not every case, but you freely prescribe it and stridently campaign for it. cococandy:You prescribe divorce for "shitty unions" - where shitty is subjective & self defined, therefore quite meaningless. And you point to divorce in any instance of "abuse", even where it is not life threatening. You care little for the sanctity of marriage. cococandy:My loffly dorra ![]() TV 1 Like |
Re: Upside Down Marriage by cococandy(f): 7:35pm On Dec 27, 2015 |
I don't even remember using that word shitty. I'm always specific-In cases of abuse. Always specific. Like a million times. It's the same word I always use. So a violent Union is not life threatening. When is it life threatening? When the fellow is already dead. Like in this man's case that he's managed to be alive because to some reason God has just decided to keep him alive because she could have easily killed him during one those violent episodes. You're saying he should work on it because you have to save face even though it defies common sense. @bold And you've resorted to outright lies. ![]() Well if it makes you feel better.... I'm sorry I had to call you out like this. I knew you'd be nowhere to be found unless it was a woman going through this and people like me advise her to flee. Then you'd come a'running to label them enemies of marriage. Like you're the only one who understands what marriage means. (rolls eye) *Now that I spent the energy typing this, it doesn't seem worth the stress anymore*. Phew. You lil'un is cute. Happy Sunday. TV01: 2 Likes |
Re: Upside Down Marriage by TV01(m): 8:02pm On Dec 27, 2015 |
cococandy:Your co-campaigner Bukatyne, considers a shitty marriage" as grounds for divorce, and it's the logical conclusion to the thinking of your cohort. cococandy:And again, not all abuse is violent, life-threatening, or grounds for divorce. And whatever the situation - even this one - efforts should be made to restore the union first. Your abuse = divorce mantra is plain wrong and irresponsible - wrongly irresponsible ![]() cococandy:Histrionics. A violent union,may not be life-threatening. And in any event, the root of the violence can be considered and possibly resolved, before the rush to divorce. cococandy:Like I said, you are a campaigner, not a thought leader. If his life is in danger, he can remove himself from the situation, and make initial efforts from a distance. Going straight to divorce is not the key or even the safest response ![]() cococandy:I read the OP, what has he been doing since? And yes, he should continue until he has satisfied himself all efforts have been exhausted, not head straight to divorce. Further, he should not have entered the union with the requisite understanding, preparation and due diligence, which he clearly did not. cococandy:You belong to the cohort of divorce campaigners, na lie ![]() cococandy:You are patently "not sorry". Per my previous post, I typically advise where an issue is presented, not where divorce is demanded. I usually address men, and I always advice going the extra mile to restore the union. I posted the link clearly demonstrating this. If you can fond a link where I have acted as you have alleged, I will deactivate ![]() cococandy:At least I defend, expound and champion it. Feel free to grow your passion for "divorce in an instant" ![]() cococandy:You are the one stressing yourself, looking for enemies of divorce cococandy:Thank you and thank you. Likewise. So, have you dropped yet? TV |
Re: Upside Down Marriage by bukatyne(f): 8:07pm On Dec 27, 2015 |
TV01: Bros, As you are entering 2016, you should be reducing your flaws and not add lying to them. Pull out a post of mine where I ever said a 'shitty' marriage (whatever that means) is a ground for divorce. And get over the fact that you are not a sole authority on people's lives/opinions. Quote me when you find the post And don't waste my time with one quoted out of context. ![]() 2 Likes |
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