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Someone Please Help Me Before I Kill Myself by stabas(m): 7:24am On Dec 28, 2015 |
Certainly not a headline people often see or imagine to read about in a season like this but this is where i've found myself against my wish. I had to create a new NL account for this cos i'll say i'm pretty much an active nairalander so I wouldn't wanna disclose my details to the general public. It's only natural for one to look at his/her life as the curtains of a particular year is been shut on their face and begin to analyse what the year brought for them and in most cases,plan for the year ahead.I guess,from the topic,you should know by now that 2015 wasn't a good one for me over here.I'll try as much as possible to be brief but not leaving out the important details. Straight to the point now... I got admitted to the university in the 2009/2010 session(school name and department withheld).As everyone would,i was very happy,seeing I got admitted in the course I wanted to study.i was very much hardworking bookwise and commited to fellowship activities that I became the 100 level cordinator.it took my time a lot but I still made sure I read everyday,attend tutorials et al.Fast forward to when my results were released,i failed.i needed just one course to be promoted and I saw an absent case.On going to the dept I had the absent case,i saw a name that was just like mine and I passed the course.All the nysc guy in charge then had to do was find my main script and confirm it.He told me to pay him money for it that he paid in school too.Been a christian,i prayed everyday over the issue and left it for God.i even went there with my course adviser and he told me if the script and result is sent,he'll rectify it.even after all my praying and pestering the guy,it was never sent so I was aked to repeat the class.i just couldn't so I made up my mind to transfer to another dept.i practically spent that session in my hostel doing nothing with no intention of going back to that dept.To aid my transfer,i had to fail again so the transfer process won't be hectic.i din't bother preparing for the sessional exams.i just wrote the exam anyhow and failed.so I was asked to withdraw from the faculty which made it easy for the other faculty to accept me.meanwhile during all this,i was given a high post in fellowship as a leader of church pastors.it wasn't like other fellowship ministry groups one could just enter.It was by appointment so the prestige was very much huge considering the fellowship was even among the top 5 in school then(last I checked).i held on to the post for a while but looking at the devotion,dedication,seed sowing and more I had made in my 100 level and my academic result that section,i will say I wasn't really into 'God things' anymore.On seeing a little chance,I wrote a letter of resignation on the office I was occupying.it made everywhere in the fellowship to shake.So much that alumni,church patrons and matrons were all up on my phone asking to see me.i later stopped the visits and switched off my phone for over three months cos it became too much.i got a new line for my family and close contacts to get in touch with me.I left fellowship cos I couldn't be doing bad and still pretend to be serving God.i hated hypocrisy. 5 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: Someone Please Help Me Before I Kill Myself by stabas(m): 7:26am On Dec 28, 2015 |
On my 3rd year in school,the transfer was successful so I made up my mind to do whatever it took to graduate.i had to lose a year so I was in 200 level.i later told my dad about everything,and as expected,he made a big deal out of it and will often bring it up to remind me of a failure I was.but I couldn't blame it on anybody but me.i read a lot that session and paid for a few courses.some of the courses entered for me and some dint but I was promoted to 300 level.i was greatful cos if I had failed again,i'd have been withdrawn from school.that was the case of most of my close friends I Transfered with.Same as 300 level.i was promoted again to final year after 'running' many of my courses at 15k each and many of my friends were withdrawn.as at final yr,i already knew i'd be coming for an extra year again cos of other carryovers and no more space to register them. A spilling year will make me 6 years in school but I decided on not telling my dad but only my mum and aunty that I went to stay with.as expected,i told God on 31st night breaking 1st Jan 2015 that I wanted to be a graduate this year.on the first session of my spilling year,with the aid of my mum and the work I did while staying at my aunt's,i paid my school fees and was able to 'run' a few courses hoping to grad that session without my dad's knowledge.i managed to play my dad and tell him that the July nysc batch wasn't for our set but November batch.Which he believed.On approaching the November batch,seeing that results won't be released then,when he was expecting me to give him details of my nysc,i told him my name din't come out cos of accumulation of people that haven't gone to the nysc yet.He believed me as well.infact,it was just working for my good in regards to keeping this as a secret to my dad.The one that got me more stunned was when,during the school convocation week,he had a one week long engagement in his road safety voluntary work he does which he had to travel and possibly,didn't have the time to watch TV to know about the convocation.it was a miracle cos that would have been the end if he had found out. 4 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Someone Please Help Me Before I Kill Myself by stabas(m): 7:29am On Dec 28, 2015 |
During the 2nd semester,a lecturer friend of mine I had been doing 'runs' with told me there's an elective course I should 'run' in order to grad and they'll use it to replace any other I fail,which I did at 25k per course(all final year courses).Only for me to hear from people later on that they weren't using that course to replace any.On calling him,he told me he din't tell me they were using the course to replace any.I felt bad and used but I still had faith.I sowed seeds and prayed like never before,telling God I can't be having a 2nd spilling year.I remember clearly when a woman made a prayer point in Church saying 'I shall not end this year in shame'.i prayed like I was about to die and sowed seeds to the prayer as well.i kept telling God that it was better I died than to go through what 2016 will offer me if I don't grad this year cos certainly,i will now have to tell my dad,who is already proudly telling people he now has 3 graduates at home. Just last week,the results were released.You guessed it.My name was in the list of spillover students again,my final chance of being a graduate. I seriously do not know how to go about it now cos i'm just confused.Its too big a burden for me to bear.Please I need the wise advises of my fellow nairalanders as it will help me on what to do this coming year and above all,although i've practically given up on prayers,i still need your prayers as well.If you're looking for who to pray for in your 31st night prayer,please let it be me cos God might answer yours,even if He dint answer mine. Seun Lalasticlala Ishilove Please take this to the promised land for more contributions. 8 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: Someone Please Help Me Before I Kill Myself by CircleOfWilis: 7:42am On Dec 28, 2015 |
Bro u refused to register and face the course squarely, u trusted in ur dubious self/lecturer and prayer. I can only advice u to kill ursef because u are not serious about ur future... #register the course , attend the lectures, sit down and read for the tests and exam, u will pass..stop wasting ur money, and also stop disturbing God with ur dirty tongue full of lies 154 Likes 7 Shares |
Re: Someone Please Help Me Before I Kill Myself by Nobody: 7:44am On Dec 28, 2015 |
Maybe u spend far too much time praying than preparing. All I can deduce is that extra curricular activities r taking too much of ur time 34 Likes |
Re: Someone Please Help Me Before I Kill Myself by Chartey(m): 7:45am On Dec 28, 2015 |
I still don't understand how you could have been paying for "runs" and still be "sowing seed". That's why I don't go to church anymore. The pastors and members are all confused, worldly people. I don't know your age but I can guess you've not seen life at all. You want to commit suicide because of academic failure. That will only confirm that you're all round unintelligent rather than just not good academically. Do you want people to think of you that way after you're gone? I guess not. Thank God your mother knows already. Here's what you need to do. 1. Keep your money and stop the Father Christmas in the name of "runs". 2. Face the courses you spilled squarely and pass them. If you have to turn the personal assistant of the guru in the new final year class, do it. No shame in it. 3. At this stage, it's likely you've lost passion for your course if you ever had it that is. So you make new life goals and plan how to achieve them from your present status. In no time, you'll be a happy person again. Good luck. Please people check the most amazing Christmas gift ever I got from someone very special here https://www.nairaland.com/2814646/beautiful-work-art-christmas-gift 77 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Someone Please Help Me Before I Kill Myself by yomi007k(m): 8:02am On Dec 28, 2015 |
Let me tell u something about "Runs 101"- U STILL HAVE TO READ n PREPARE. The reason is lecturers find it easier to pass n help a smart dude than a dumb dude. They have seen u as a maga. Its obvious u don't spend time reading n attending lectures. U just gotta hustle. 12 Likes |
Re: Someone Please Help Me Before I Kill Myself by stabas(m): 8:04am On Dec 28, 2015 |
Chartey thanks alot.The thing is I lost all interest in reading book after the 100 level failure.And even when I read,i won't just understand at all anymore.that's why I opted for the runs that has helped me alot. 1 Like |
Re: Someone Please Help Me Before I Kill Myself by yomi007k(m): 8:18am On Dec 28, 2015 |
Chartey: Dem sow seeds n do evil... Nigerian christians, bunch of morrafackers ![]() 16 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Someone Please Help Me Before I Kill Myself by Chommieblaq(f): 8:19am On Dec 28, 2015 |
U don't read, u so dependent on runs, and don't give me the sowing seed scrap cos God will not come down n write your exam for you. I know many ppl that are fellowship leaders yet they doing great in their academics, agreed everybody is not the same, since involving yourself in those activities will affect u, u withdraw buh after that what did u do next? Do you always attend lectures? Tutorial classes? And when u spilled a course, the best thing to do is attend the lectures and sit for ur exams, see d kind money wey u dey troway for runs yet babu, u for pay one smart student even if na 5k to come dey teach u the course, as e bi u wan pass. Lastly, I keep telling ppl the basic education is primary and secondary and if u can't further or cope, then go n learn a trade, or get something doing everyone mustn't be a graduate, imagine after spending so many years in school, person go comot with third class or pass for this our country wey even first class never see work, if that 6year have been channeled into another thing, u might have been made!!!! SABR 45 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Someone Please Help Me Before I Kill Myself by Cation25(m): 8:21am On Dec 28, 2015 |
bro jus examine yourself n all u have done...you claim to be a dedicated xtain yet without faith n ability to face reality. you were praying God for success n yet bribing lecturers to make your way tru humanly( u think God can share his glory with anyone?). You even tried to lie to your dad to cover up ur mess(sin against man n God), baba bro!...your lack of faith n laziness also contribute to your misfortune... My advice; don't kill yourself bro, mayb dats ur own storm of life. God is ever merciful, jus ask for his mercy, also tell your dad everything DAT had happened...dis time around, analyse yourself n try to find the real cause of ur problem(some are not ordinary) then reorganise yourself and face DAT which is facing you. you are not a failure, you all bcome a failure when u fail to try again. God bless you! 11 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Someone Please Help Me Before I Kill Myself by ashewoboy(m): 8:59am On Dec 28, 2015 |
A |
Re: Someone Please Help Me Before I Kill Myself by Joeyy(m): 9:00am On Dec 28, 2015 |
Take it easy, some people have seen worse. Seek advice from a professional. 1 Like |
Re: Someone Please Help Me Before I Kill Myself by korel9: 9:00am On Dec 28, 2015 |
So you made me read this whole epistle for this? Infact go and hang yourself and pray you come out of it alive ![]() Don't forget to sow a seed before the hanging ![]() Before you quote me Read the epistle first ![]() 4 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Someone Please Help Me Before I Kill Myself by looseweight: 9:00am On Dec 28, 2015 |
You can't kill yourself 1 Like |
Re: Someone Please Help Me Before I Kill Myself by allanphash7(m): 9:00am On Dec 28, 2015 |
You need to summarise this epistle if you really need my help or else you will kill yourself o 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Someone Please Help Me Before I Kill Myself by Marksule(m): 9:00am On Dec 28, 2015 |
Pls dont |
Re: Someone Please Help Me Before I Kill Myself by Nobody: 9:00am On Dec 28, 2015 |
Why the long epistle 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Someone Please Help Me Before I Kill Myself by Nobody: 9:01am On Dec 28, 2015 |
CircleOfWilis: Kill himself? Haba! Is that the worse that could happen to him? @Op, I'm going to tackle this from the spiritual point of view. For example, you were with some group of boys who used to beat up and bully one big guy. As a group, you could take down this guy, then one day, you decided you didn't want to be part of the group anymore. Do you think that big guy you used to bully as a group would not descend on you if he caught you? You did the wrong things in the name of being a Christian, runsing courses that you should have sat for. If you were still with the fellowship, you would have gotten godly counsel. Now look where we are. My advice, stop sowing seeds that God will not accept. Go and repent, write Jamb again and start afresh. Because all these spill overs might not even make the certificate worth it anymore. Its not easy but may God give you all the strength you need. I can't understand how someone who used to burn for God found himself as a pawn of the devil 5 Likes |
Re: Someone Please Help Me Before I Kill Myself by tunapawizzy: 9:01am On Dec 28, 2015 |
Gh |
Re: Someone Please Help Me Before I Kill Myself by pendusky(m): 9:01am On Dec 28, 2015 |
so long a story |
Re: Someone Please Help Me Before I Kill Myself by thefakestan: 9:01am On Dec 28, 2015 |
What method are you planning to use? ThefakeStan 3 Likes |
Re: Someone Please Help Me Before I Kill Myself by DirtyGold: 9:02am On Dec 28, 2015 |
There is a saying in yoruba that "what you don't want the father to hear, the father ends up solving it". You have a bigger problem other than your academic self inflicted woes. You need a personality reset. 12 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Someone Please Help Me Before I Kill Myself by hammariise(m): 9:02am On Dec 28, 2015 |
Then what are you waiting for? Why informing the public? Idiot attention seeking bozo 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Someone Please Help Me Before I Kill Myself by brunofarad(m): 9:02am On Dec 28, 2015 |
Killing ones self is nothing but cowardice |
Re: Someone Please Help Me Before I Kill Myself by bolex04(m): 9:02am On Dec 28, 2015 |
Hmmmm... |
Re: Someone Please Help Me Before I Kill Myself by ERONX(m): 9:02am On Dec 28, 2015 |
Bro Dont kill yourself.... I will advice you to come out straight to your dad although he might disown you. Going to a university does not guarantee success in life, I've seen several companies where the owners did not attend any University yet they employ graduates. If you are business minded I will advice you to start up something (The sky is your stepping stone) 4 Likes |
Re: Someone Please Help Me Before I Kill Myself by domopps(m): 9:02am On Dec 28, 2015 |
Op are u threatening us? Cheeeers 3 Likes |
Re: Someone Please Help Me Before I Kill Myself by infogenius(m): 9:03am On Dec 28, 2015 |
Op, I am sorry about all you have been through. But honestly, you have not faced real life challenges and you want to kill yourself. You have played your cards badly. 1. God is not a fool. You wasted your money all in the name of seed sowing but you have never depended solely on Him to help you. I will tell you why shortly. 2. Whether you believe it or not prayer never fails if you do it in Faith. Prayer without works is waste of time. Work done = 0 if not done rightly. You mismanaged your time with misplaced priorities and you expect God to do magic. 3. I also realise that you are not a serious student. Reading every second does not make you but getting along with academic trends in your department and course of study makes you one. e.g if you attend lectures and you don't understand the topic, ask questions, seek counsel from those that know and study. 4.You can't serve two masters, runs and God. It is either you runs your way through continuous failure and forget the help from above or focus on the help of God while you work out academic excellence legitimately. Here is my advice. 1.Don't kill yourself, because the world is waiting to celebrate your rxploits 2.Tell your dad the truth and face the consequence now but promise to make it up. Or else you risk spilling that course again. 3.Forget runs 4. Seek for genuine forgiveness from God. Get back into serving God again and build a better and genuine relationship with Him. Not for what you want from Him but for what He demands from you. 5.Sit down and study as if your life depends on it. Get past questions, attend lectures and tutorials, ask questions and more importantly love the course And I believe God will help you. 9 Likes |
Re: Someone Please Help Me Before I Kill Myself by iteleaye(m): 9:03am On Dec 28, 2015 |
Ok |
Re: Someone Please Help Me Before I Kill Myself by PLANETMARS(m): 9:03am On Dec 28, 2015 |
op no dey call God u dey loose guard urself 1 Like |
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