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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / The Unnecessary Marriage Pressure On The African Female (1969 Views)
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The Unnecessary Marriage Pressure On The African Female by Nobody: 11:16am On Dec 29, 2015 |
"Girls need to be taught to see beyond marriage. An average Nigerian girl, or say African girls in a broader scope wants to grow up, finish school and just get married. Nothing limits a woman as much as this. A man plans his life thus- "grow up, MAKE MONEY, raise a family". A girl plans hers like- "grow up, finish school, get married". Girls are not taught to dream independently, they think their final destination is in a man's home. The "better tomorrow" they are taught to dream of is a tomorrow inside their husband's home. No! It's wrong. You need to first carve a life for yourself before you put yourself in the control of a man. Girls are taught To dream to be Queens. Meaning they are taught that no matter how high they fly they still have to be under a man, her king.... When they could actually be Kings themselves. You might say getting married doesn't stop you from winning, but that's false. Marriage creates a lot of limitation for women... Socially, economically, even psychologically. Women are home makers. A woman's primary concern is building a home. When you finish school and you get married almost immediately, childbirth, domestic duties, etc will limit your hustle. You are gonna live your life in the shadow of your husband. You are gonna be just another puppet in the hands of your husband. Some women even become housewives, like you live all your life under the sole control of a man? From being under your dad straight to being under a man.... How do you live with that? Women need to be taught to dream. They need to be taught they are also an independent being, and they also need to carve out a life for themselves. African parents need to stop putting pressure on their female children to get married immediately after school. Teach them to strive like they are the ones going to raise a family on their own. Boys are brought up to strive, to create a Kingdom, why can't women be taught to be same? Women and men will never ever be equal if women are trained to see their ultimate end in the comfort of marriage. Take your time, how can you be just 23 and you are already feeling ripe to marry? What have you achieved? Will you die if you don't get married quickly? Girls need to focus more on personal development after school. Life starts after school... Try to make a living for yourself. Girls need to stop being pressured to marry too quickly! They are not men's properties! Y'all need a new mindset fellow Africans." Victor Daniel 3 Likes |
Re: The Unnecessary Marriage Pressure On The African Female by Nobody: 11:22am On Dec 29, 2015 |
Hmmm preach Please tell them oh .. Alot of ladies as soon as they finish uni is marriage .. Even have friends that have been married for long now their husband cheating and messing about y? Nothing more to offer than being a housewife , like what man wont want a lady who helps out with bills etc .. But op your right marriage is like the end prize for some .. |
Re: The Unnecessary Marriage Pressure On The African Female by Nobody: 11:47am On Dec 29, 2015 |
StrawberryCream:I hope our present generation of parents change this trend. If I were a female, I don't think I would b able to manage the pressure. A lot of broken homes today probably because of hasty marriages. |
Re: The Unnecessary Marriage Pressure On The African Female by Nobody: 11:49am On Dec 29, 2015 |
udondeymadt:Exactly .. But i doubt this views can be changed .. Even me too family are on my neck trying to suck my blood for marriage like wts the rush im still youngish .. They be telling me this one don marry .. Titi don marry , shalewa don marry Yet none of them are happy |
Re: The Unnecessary Marriage Pressure On The African Female by feran15(m): 12:06pm On Dec 29, 2015 |
i dont think getting married is the problem, but giving.birth that actually stops women from "winning". about the housewife part, if a woman cant be a house wife, she should tell her prospective husband beforehand and tell him that she wants to put off childbearing too for a while. |
Re: The Unnecessary Marriage Pressure On The African Female by Nobody: 12:15pm On Dec 29, 2015 |
StrawberryCream:I know its not easy for some of u. My friend's gf(26yrs) is under pressure to show her family the man in her life why because her younger sis recently got married(23yrs). The younger sis is still naive. still in sch. Y d rush. My friend, her bf is abt concluding his Nysc. How can she present him to her parents? He is thinking of quitting d relationship so she can be free. If not for marriage pressure sha... |
Re: The Unnecessary Marriage Pressure On The African Female by dsquare33: 9:41pm On Dec 29, 2015 |
The issue has been age long,and its purely the case of wrong mindset, lack of exposure,comparism(my mates are married mentality) forgetting our dates of birth is different from each other, just like the day of death is different from each other, the last is religion. Just as an average African believe most women are the cause of infertility in marriage rather than the husband. Until the mind set is change would we see that been single is not a 'disease' and I strongly believe God has appointed time for each individual so when the set time comes things would just fall into places. |
Re: The Unnecessary Marriage Pressure On The African Female by goldbim(f): 11:21pm On Dec 29, 2015 |
The society is not even helping matter at all.if u meet an old mate or friend the first question that pops out of their mouth is "are u married?".small discussion btwn you and your married colleague 'll lead to "u can't understand since u are nt married".like there's a salary that's being paid for that..im nt a feminist or against marriage.but people should learn to understand that everybody have different perspective towards certain issues and using it to make the person feel bad is nt cool.especially the"WHEN ARE WE EATING YOUR RICE crew".#GODISNEVERLATE#.. |
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