Hello my fellow nairalanders what am about to tell you is happening to me and I need you advice very fast before I make a big mistake of my life.
It all started five months ago, I met my fiancee through facebook and we started talking and so we decided to meet after one month and we became lovers, after a week I asked him about his past relationships and if he had any child out of wedlock and he said yes and it's a baby girl and that it was a mistake he made about two years ago, so I further asked him the name of the baby mama and the baby's name and we're they reside and also were she is from which he told me reluctantly. He said he doesn't like communicating with them because he is still angry with the baby's mother and that since the baby was born he has only visited them twice.
So I believed everything he told and pleaded wit him to show me the girls number or any of their relatives number any time they call him because according to him they haven't called and that he doesn't have their no in his phone. So after like a month I asked him if he has heard from them he said no and about that time we have a misunderstanding and so I wanted to know the girls name on facebook and also see the baby's picture he said the girl is not on facebook so I threatened him wit breakup that was when he told me that the baby mamas brother called twice and he didn't bother to tell me if they called because he felt it was not important. I then asked him the baby mamas name and he unknowingly said another name forgetting he told me some thing else before, I was very disappointed because every time I raise the issue of the girl he is always angry. And do you know he also said the girl is from another place this time around but after he begged me I forgave him and we moved on.
Just yesterday when I visited him I was playing with his phone and I saw a name he dialled during the day and it was the baby mama brothers name and I was shocked because he never told me he was intouch with them so I asked him if he called them but to my surprise he denied that it's not the same person and so I held unto the phone and told him I was going to call the person to know the truth that was when he told me he called him and asked me to give him back his phone.
My brothers and sisters this a man am planning to get married to early next year and we already have the plans. I am not against him keeping in touch with them and taking care of the baby, my concern is the way he is keeping things away from me and lieing about the baby and the mother. Do you think some thing is wrong or am I over reacting because right now am so sad and want to quit the relationship since he doesn't want to open up to me.
Please help a sister it's urgent before I marry the wrong person.

Hmmmm

Very long...my broda cholls will surely gonna read this...

My sister, a relationship based on lies can never last, postpone d wedding if u can. You need to do a lot of investigations before u agree to say i do. Marriage last a life time so dont make any mistake u will end up regretting tomorrow.

Ion wanna spoil ya marriage buh it seems ur fiancee's baby mama is the real fiance and you're the alternative babe

You need to stop asking too much question and carry out a personal research. The more you ask the more he blocks all the loop holes.

Lol. Aunty, postpone the wedding. Do not get married until u meet the baby mama and her kid. For real.

First of all so sorry

Well u can leave out the baby mama she has a hugh influence in his life

She is the mother of his daughter wow a crios attachment there


I wud advise u if u love him and u want to go ahead and marry him just get closer to the baby mama b frnds with her den u av peace


So if u are all crazy bou the situation u can leave sp u dont av a broken home or end up as baby mama number 2


Honesty is important in a relationship let alone marriage i kno with this u goin to loose ur trust in him

But i want to say this why not sit down with ur fiancee talk to him ask him who he really wants

if he says u fine do b frnds with d baby mama love the baby cos ur own kids will grow up to call her their big sister

Nd if he says d baby mama it wud hurt but go to God u wud find happiness

Touching tho

am not sure you really know what you want...

a smell desperation and insecurity from your tone.

better leave when you can else what happened to the so called
former girl friend will happen to you.

started with lies and it will end with punches and kicks when he eventually marries u for being so nosy

Why are you in a hurry? U met through Facebook 5 months ago then met after a month which means you have known him for only 4 months and you guys are already engaged... It all happening so fast... Then about his kid and baby mama you really need to find out what actually happened between the two of them and yes the wedding should be postponed...

Lady you are too desperate!!! Relax,you are too much in a hurry. You havnt even dated this guy up to a year and u wanna marry him even when something tells u deep down that he's still communicating with the mother of his child. Checking his phone or asking questions 247 wudnt stop him from doing what he wants to do and trust me if u continue like that u would get dumped before February 14th. Nobody wants to settle down with an insecure and nagging woman.

I pray you don't later sing "had I known" in the future. Don't rush to marry this man. He seems to conceal alot. Make all investigation before you settled down with him. May truth reveal itself in the course of your investigation ooo.

Quite a number of persons have disclosed well crafted ideas but to me, I'd do the same if i were in your shoes but ironically, I'M NOT.
Truthfully, if he can't give you a genuine reason to back up his falsehood, dispose of him before he does you.
And again, it's inappropriate to use break-up as a means of threat. You just might hurt yourself more, emotionally.

Aunty you sound like you nag a lot

that's all I can deduce from post

for my advice : stop monitoring a man,you will just get hurt.

I don't nag. Is there anything wrong in me knowing about the baby he had before we met and to think that he said he wants to settle down with me very soon. Please put yourself in my shoes and you will know what it feels like.

misspicy:
Aunty you sound like you nag a lot

that's all I can deduce from post

for my advice : stop monitoring a man,you will just get hurt.

Good enough he told you he has a child.. but for him to start lying about issues relating to the child and the mother shows there is more to it. Do your homework by doing a research on him to avoid stories. But what really do you expect from a guy you met on the net..

1. Your post is long
2. How old are you and your boo?
3. I think he's still attached to his baby mama, old habits die hard.
4. Are you addicted to hearing lies? If yes, court him longer so you can discover more, If no run.


nOw PlAyING jAYWON facebook LOve

Since I'm not ready to take u for a gf, just continue managing what God has given u ... It is well

KashyBaby:
Very long...my broda cholls will surely gonna read this...

How plain do you want the hand writing on the wall to get? Please use your head