Toks2008:


My submission is simple...dont woo a man head on..show subtle signals i tagg green light.

even on nairaland a lady can show a green light by just quoting a guy and she could lash out at u and that can be a green light.

see ladies should wake up..real men no longer have time for this shit called wooing and these guys will just easily fall for any smart chic.

So ladies should continue forming levels,i trust the wobey guys to be on your neck and while you are feeling cool that a guy is persistently chasing you,the guy is simply doing wat he naturally knows how to do best and that is hunting you down no matter how long and how hard and once he gets u,he marks his register n move on...

Real responsible men will harly persist on winning a lady cos na even by Gods grace for them to woo you in the first place..quote me anywhere.

Oliviaarims:
This notion seems to be trending these days. But pls, before anyone goes about saying it's okay for a woman to make the first move, then perhaps they should also elaborate on what circumstances and the manner in which it should be done. So many girls are being misled already.. And making complete fools of themselves. I witnessed one such event yesterday and I just couldn't help laughing. This girl must have been feeling like a real 21st century chic when she even contemplated making the move. But with the way things turned out, I can bet on my two Di'ja-like-boobs that she's so never going to try that again. Heck, that dude was mean!


Back to my topic. I really don't get why a girl should be encouraged to make the first move. Look at it this way. Wooing a woman is sth that comes very natural to men. It's what they do. It's what they've always done right from time, what reason then has a guy not to make a move on the girl he likes? So this boy and girl know themselves, perhaps not as friends or anything serious, but each knows about the existence of the other. They are perhaps in the same location.. Work in the same place, live in the same neighborhood, attend the same Uni;So, surely they get to see each other from time to time. Why then should it be the girl making a move since she's interested in him? Hasn't he seen her before? If actually he had any interest whatsoever, he'd make the first move. It shouldn't be an issue at all. Girls are used to being wooed.

But he doesn't and some girl would think it's okay for her to make the first move. Trust me, chances are high that he won't take u seriously if ever u should go into a relationship. He'd simply see the whole thing as him doing u a favour by dating u and perhaps getting an advantage for himself if he succeeds in sleeping with you . I can't even imagine how u'd feel comfortable being in that relationship. He's most likely always going to be eager to show u the door, because after all, u made the first move on him, when he was just on his own doing his thing. It's just like reversing roles entirely. And IMO, it shows desperation.

And I also thought guys used to enjoy the chase. They want girls to be the ones chasing them now? Lol.

Pls, giving the green light and not playing too hard to get is enough. A man's supposed to know what to do when he sees the green light. If he doesn't, well, that's sad. It simply implies that there are so many things about women he isn't sensitive to.

Call me old-fashioned. I like being old-fashioned if this is what being old fashioned is all about.

tosyne2much:
Oliviaarims

kinglekan:



Brother the very fact that you broke out of YABA LEFT has reduced my confidence in the mental institution.

tonyx4x44:




Na people whe get their time... I've asked only 1 girl out in my life (failed, as she's into that hard to get rubbish) ... My woman made the first move after friendship... It's been years now and we strong pass Lil Kesh and Olamide...


The one we whe dey form hard to get come dey try make me cheat on my girl... Rubbish who get her time... She rejected Me maybe for the pleasure of messing with my ego, because it was obvious we were into each

ronald4lif:


Speak for yourself and the class of women you have in your circle. What do you people think or assume culture to be? Culture is metamorphosic and evolves with time. If you think a woman shouldn't woo you just like you can woo them you're tacitly admitting you're not endearing and lovable even as its a confession of low self esteem.

This is referring to Toks2008 submission as well.

Ruuhh:


Now that is totally down to earth! I wish every lady had your kinda brain,the world would've been at peace.#plaintruth

Oliviaarims:


Ohhh. But some ppl have chosen to tag women who don't do that myopic and old-fashioned.

Emmagenius:



BABA WEREY Nea. You just looking for Trouble.Abeg na new year be this ooooh

Baba so u sef just remember sey na 2016 we dey.

Na as u talk am me sef remember oooooo.

My hand dey up Sir.

ronald4lif:


I've always maintained that we guys are responsible for how we're being treated by women. They would continue to lacerate you like the bellyaches that you are.

You see a woman and perhaps someone you've become friends with and ask her out. Then say a woman shouldn't do same citing culture as reason? Can you please define culture for a start and if it's constant or static?

A woman who ask a guy out is confident, and strong, sui generis and one with true character. It shows she knows what she wants and not afraid to go for it. It depicts one who's not afraid to defy her societal inhibitions and dogmas that aimed at restricting her potentials. And a real man will appreciate her boldness and examplary character.

A relationship is a two way street. Who ever made the "rules" of who always has to text first or do the asking is an idiot.

I ordinarily didn't set out to join the discuss after observing it was a luxuriant ground for some hoity-toity display of self-importance for those who falsely think they're some deity.

doskie:
we are no longer in that era. the world has moved on. saying fucck off to a guy now only applies to fake men. trust me; after saying he should Bleep off, you will still be looking at him from your window, checking his instagram, and hating your female friend who collected his number from you, pinged him, dated him, married him and bore him kids. dont try to act tough. you are inherently designed not to be as strong as you want to make us believe.

Laveda:
Nah... I can't try that shít again.. .

kinglekan:


Why u dey disturb am?

Oliviaarims:



Allow me clarify things here. First, the example I mentioned about the case I witnessed is no standard. It wasn't meant to be the basis for which girls should avoid wooing a man. I cited the example because it was what made me create the thread.

Secondly, it doesn't have to be written down in some law book that men should be the one doing the toasting. There are so many unwritten codes and conventions governing the way humans should live. And my view on the topic that women should leave the wooing for the men stems from what is observable in our society. We are Africans and such a practice is not totally acceptable;it is in lieu of this that I advise ladies to exercise a little restraint. Also, I haven't said it's in all cases that the lady will meet with a rebuff or end or end up in a futile relationship.


If u read the comments on the first page, I agreed that there are some situations in which it is permissible.

And NO, I'm not in any way guilty of Hasty generalisation. Go back to the topic and u'll see that I did not categorically say she would be disrespected. I didn't even use the word "disrespect." I simply said the chances are high of him not taking the lady seriously in the relationship . It means there are exceptions- a possibility of this not happening.


I try to be as open-minded as possible, but for now, I think I'd prefer to stick to the status quo. There isn't much sense in fighting everything all in the name of being liberal.

oseod:


When it happened to me It felt like rapture......like I was paying for the sins of my ancestors...
A dinner party that turned out to be a horrible memory. ..the babe was staring at me so I was thinking greenlight don show only for me to muster some half baked courage and walk over to seat beside her. Before I could say anything she put on her earpiece and looked away......

.I was already damaged at this point!!..

Then she completed the job by turning to me and saying "please someone is sitting here, when you're done please stand up...I don't want any trouble

I just stood and walked humbly like a beggar to my sit......I felt like plucking out the eyes of everyone that was looking at me in that hall..

Till today I don't believe In greenlight .....I don't even believe in traffic light or police warden......Am I mad!!!!

Its probably a good thing you have experienced it .......you'll be an expert at turning down a guy ithout embarrassing him since you know how it feels

zanga420:
@ Oliviaarims
Thank God, u've seen its not easy to woo a person. I doubt if ur girl did it d right way. Same way, if a guy woo a lady wrongly, he receives insults n backlash. Guys also learn d swags of wooing a lady.
I've seen girls that made d first move n their relationships were strong with mutual respect. So let ur girl learn d diplomacy of making d 1st move n u'll see how cute that is.
U said u were old fashioned? Oh we're in new fashion now(21st century), so learn.

naijaboiy:

Please when are you going to return fully to romance section?

Some of these girls here need schooling. I miss seeing the posts of you and mizmycoli.

tosyne2much:
As a guy, I just can't imagine myself wooing a lady. The highest I can do, is show her greenlight and If she can't woo me, she should go hang herself for all I care!!


*nobody should quote*

ronald4lif:


I've always maintained that we guys are responsible for how we're being treated by women. They would continue to lacerate you like the bellyaches that you are.

You see a woman and perhaps someone you've become friends with and ask her out. Then say a woman shouldn't do same citing culture as reason? Can you please define culture for a start and if it's constant or static?

A woman who ask a guy out is confident, and strong, sui generis and one with true character. It shows she knows what she wants and not afraid to go for it. It depicts one who's not afraid to defy her societal inhibitions and dogmas that aimed at restricting her potentials. And a real man will appreciate her boldness and examplary character.

A relationship is a two way street. Who ever made the "rules" of who always has to text first or do the asking is an idiot.

I ordinarily didn't set out to join the discuss after observing it was a luxuriant ground for some hoity-toity display of self-importance for those who falsely think they're some deity.

Oliviaarims:



Ur left ventricle!!!

So you have Dija-bosom-like ?

donephi:


Sounds like you've done it before.

There is no big deal. Only big and matured ladies go for what they want.

His response or reaction does not really matter.
What matters is your approach

kinglekan:
Baba so u sef just remember sey na 2016 we dey.
Na as u talk am me sef remember oooooo.
My hand dey up Sir.

oseod:


When it happened to me It felt like rapture......like I was paying for the sins of my ancestors...
A dinner party that turned out to be a horrible memory. ..the babe was staring at me so I was thinking greenlight don show only for me to muster some half baked courage and walk over to seat beside her. Before I could say anything she put on her earpiece and looked away......

.I was already damaged at this point!!..

Then she completed the job by turning to me and saying "please someone is sitting here, when you're done please stand up...I don't want any trouble

I just stood and walked humbly like a beggar to my sit......I felt like plucking out the eyes of everyone that was looking at me in that hall..

Till today I don't believe In greenlight .....I don't even believe in traffic light or police warden......Am I mad!!!!

Its probably a good thing you have experienced it .......you'll be an expert at turning down a guy ithout embarrassing him since you know how it feels

Kachisbarbie:
Some ladies expect guys to know when they are in the mood to be wooed, if they are his level or not... like he is psychic _ yet they can't do same.
Guys get turned down everyday, and they are not dead.

You don't go about approaching every random guy, those signs you expect a young man to watch out for, you should be smart enough to watch out for same signs.

Observing a guy closely (especially when you guys have established a reasonable degree of familiarity), you would notice if he is into you but has issues expressing himself probably for fear of being turned down too. That's the time to strike...

tosyne2much:
As a guy, I just can't imagine myself wooing a lady. The highest I can do, is show her greenlight and If she can't woo me, she should go hang herself for all I care!!


*nobody should quote*

Oahray:
he tried na. At least he didn't tell her "talk a walk, you are not in my class... durrh!"

I think ladies usually forget that there are millions (okay billions) of other ladies roaming the earth, some more attractive than they are. No one is irresistible simply because she's female.

Oliviaarims:
This notion seems to be trending these days. But pls, before anyone goes about saying it's okay for a woman to make the first move, then perhaps they should also elaborate on what circumstances and the manner in which it should be done. So many girls are being misled already.. And making complete fools of themselves. I witnessed one such event yesterday and I just couldn't help laughing. This girl must have been feeling like a real 21st century chic when she even contemplated making the move. But with the way things turned out, I can bet on my two Di'ja-like-boobs that she's so never going to try that again. Heck, that dude was mean!


Back to my topic. I really don't get why a girl should be encouraged to make the first move. Look at it this way. Wooing a woman is sth that comes very natural to men. It's what they do. It's what they've always done right from time, what reason then has a guy not to make a move on the girl he likes? So this boy and girl know themselves, perhaps not as friends or anything serious, but each knows about the existence of the other. They are perhaps in the same location.. Work in the same place, live in the same neighborhood, attend the same Uni;So, surely they get to see each other from time to time. Why then should it be the girl making a move since she's interested in him? Hasn't he seen her before? If actually he had any interest whatsoever, he'd make the first move. It shouldn't be an issue at all. Girls are used to being wooed.

But he doesn't and some girl would think it's okay for her to make the first move. Trust me, chances are high that he won't take u seriously if ever u should go into a relationship. He'd simply see the whole thing as him doing u a favour by dating u and perhaps getting an advantage for himself if he succeeds in sleeping with you . I can't even imagine how u'd feel comfortable being in that relationship. He's most likely always going to be eager to show u the door, because after all, u made the first move on him, when he was just on his own doing his thing. It's just like reversing roles entirely. And IMO, it shows desperation.

And I also thought guys used to enjoy the chase. They want girls to be the ones chasing them now? Lol.

Pls, giving the green light and not playing too hard to get is enough. A man's supposed to know what to do when he sees the green light. If he doesn't, well, that's sad. It simply implies that there are so many things about women he isn't sensitive to.

Call me old-fashioned. I like being old-fashioned if this is what being old fashioned is all about.

Oliviaarims:
This notion seems to be trending these days. But pls, before anyone goes about saying it's okay for a woman to make the first move, then perhaps they should also elaborate on what circumstances and the manner in which it should be done. So many girls are being misled already.. And making complete fools of themselves. I witnessed one such event yesterday and I just couldn't help laughing. This girl must have been feeling like a real 21st century chic when she even contemplated making the move. But with the way things turned out, I can bet on my two Di'ja-like-boobs that she's so never going to try that again. Heck, that dude was mean!


Back to my topic. I really don't get why a girl should be encouraged to make the first move. Look at it this way. Wooing a woman is sth that comes very natural to men. It's what they do. It's what they've always done right from time, what reason then has a guy not to make a move on the girl he likes? So this boy and girl know themselves, perhaps not as friends or anything serious, but each knows about the existence of the other. They are perhaps in the same location.. Work in the same place, live in the same neighborhood, attend the same Uni;So, surely they get to see each other from time to time. Why then should it be the girl making a move since she's interested in him? Hasn't he seen her before? If actually he had any interest whatsoever, he'd make the first move. It shouldn't be an issue at all. Girls are used to being wooed.

But he doesn't and some girl would think it's okay for her to make the first move. Trust me, chances are high that he won't take u seriously if ever u should go into a relationship. He'd simply see the whole thing as him doing u a favour by dating u and perhaps getting an advantage for himself if he succeeds in sleeping with you . I can't even imagine how u'd feel comfortable being in that relationship. He's most likely always going to be eager to show u the door, because after all, u made the first move on him, when he was just on his own doing his thing. It's just like reversing roles entirely. And IMO, it shows desperation.

And I also thought guys used to enjoy the chase. They want girls to be the ones chasing them now? Lol.

Pls, giving the green light and not playing too hard to get is enough. A man's supposed to know what to do when he sees the green light. If he doesn't, well, that's sad. It simply implies that there are so many things about women he isn't sensitive to.

Call me old-fashioned. I like being old-fashioned if this is what being old fashioned is all about.

wristbangle:


That's her cup of tea. My prayer is God will keep your current relationship strong.

Oliviaarims:

Don't mind tosyne2much, thats how he wee be vibrating like jelly fish at the mention of anything Olivia....

ronald4lif:


I've always maintained that we guys are responsible for how we're being treated by women. They would continue to lacerate you like the bellyaches that you are.

You see a woman and perhaps someone you've become friends with and ask her out. Then say a woman shouldn't do same citing culture as reason? Can you please define culture for a start and if it's constant or static?

A woman who ask a guy out is confident, and strong, sui generis and one with true character. It shows she knows what she wants and not afraid to go for it. It depicts one who's not afraid to defy her societal inhibitions and dogmas that aimed at restricting her potentials. And a real man will appreciate her boldness and examplary character.

A relationship is a two way street. Who ever made the "rules" of who always has to text first or do the asking is an idiot.

I ordinarily didn't set out to join the discuss after observing it was a luxuriant ground for some hoity-toity display of self-importance for those who falsely think they're some deity.