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About Women Making The First Move. - Romance (11) - Nairaland

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Re: About Women Making The First Move. by zanga420: 8:25pm On Jan 02, 2016
Oliviaarims:



How do u propose a girl should make the first move? Pls, give an ideal example.
its an instinct thing. But lemme use my buddy's case as an example.
He said, he's seen d babe b4 but getting into relationship was not his headache then. While d babe had eyes on him n had even run a check on him(his relationship status n all that). On a day they were together chatting, d lady asked, 'dude I love ur personality, I dont mind dating a person like u'. And that straightforwardness attracted him to her. And since then, they've been solid. Though presently, work have kept them in different cities. I think all things being equal, they might walk down d aisle. The only thing he has complained about d babe is her temperament. She's too hot tempered. Hope u understood my long epistle.

1 Like

Re: About Women Making The First Move. by francizy(m): 8:26pm On Jan 02, 2016
ronald4lif:


Nicely written. But pardon my ignorance. You said that if you're a lady who's insecure and egoistic one shouldn't ask a guy out. I've restated earlier that women who initiate romance are confident, bold and not afraid to go for what they want. Your admission of insecurity is to say they lack confidence, frightened by the thought of failure. What does that say of them?

In another instance, you said if a woman knows the man in question is a confident type, one who can't stigmatise her and if the lady is certain she won't be slighted she can make the first move? What you're saying here is that any lady who can't muster the courage and find a mind worthy of asking him out has no reason to be with such man, even if he's the initiator of an affair. The man is simply unfit for her. So my question to you is why should a woman involve herself in a romance with a man lacks confidence and unsuitable for her even if the man is the initiator?


I know say you must counter her! Kudos bro! cheesy grin

MizmyColi is to the ladies what you are to us on here!! grin grin

2 Likes

Re: About Women Making The First Move. by doskie(m): 8:29pm On Jan 02, 2016
Oliviaarims:
To all the guys saying it's okay for a woman to make the first move, u've simply been very opinionated about it and seemed offended that some women won't even contemplate wooing a man.

At least when I made my stand, I made it clear that there are instances where it could be permissible.

And may I say also, that most of u are simply being idealistic and quite far from being realistic?

And to the others saying there are diplomatic ways to go about it, pls, do us the favour of citing at least one diplomatic way of going about it.

Also, it seems as though most of u do not fully understand what I mean by making the first move. Most of u, it appears are basing ur arguments and dissatisfaction on perhaps, not showing the greenlight.


Finally, everybody's entitled to their beliefs and where they decide to draw the line as regards what they can and cannot do. Therefore, there's no need attacking anybody who doesn't share the same views as u.


Cc. Ronald4lif.. Doskie. I'd like to know what u understand as "making the first move" and then to state diplomatic ways to go about it. Thanks
if anybody should be called idealistic here it wont be the people who aver that as humans, we are under a natural spell to need companionship from members of the opposite gender and that the drive to act is solely based on circumstances. some policies when pursued religiously, though morally and ethically correct, may end up ensuring someone's own ruin. it is wise to adapt policy to circumstances.
let me paint a scenario of you in Russia for a day or two and finding no one who speaks English. if you sit close to a black man one afternoon and you hear him speaking pigin English in a phone conversation. I am betting that you will need to initiate a friendly conversation with him when he ends his call. only pride and some other thing I cannot define will prevent you from doing that. but seeing that same person in nigeria where you have lofty alternatives. you will never talk to him. that is because, you do not have reasons enough to compel you to act against your usual limits. a very lonely lady at say 35years will not practice the policy of greenlights only ad judiciously as an 18year old girl will. like I said; the wisdom to adapt policy to circumstances.

4 Likes

Re: About Women Making The First Move. by gemale(m): 8:30pm On Jan 02, 2016
Estharfabian:
undecidedTruth be told...undecided

I'd never ask A guy Out!! even if my life depended on it! how degrading!! My ego won't even let me...

I'd keep giving him signs(Green, blue and yellow lights), I'd talk sweet to him, Change my voice around him, be all touchy n mushy towards him, Act overly caring, maybe call him like TWICE A month?undecided...if he still doesn't get those Obvious/vivid Romantic signs.

He should go hang himself for all I care!!!undecided fûck him!

Dating isn't my priority...There are plenny "Sharks" in the sea...I only have to choose from so many.....!undecided

Even if u rili rili like him? U wld allow ur ego get in d way of u attaining romantic fulfillment? Well its still ur tym 2 make yanga.

1 Like

Re: About Women Making The First Move. by ronald4lif(m): 8:31pm On Jan 02, 2016
francizy:



I know say you must counter her! Kudos bro! cheesy grin

MizmyColi is to the ladies what you are to us on here!! grin grin

Nah, I'm her tutee. Still learning. grin

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: About Women Making The First Move. by Nobody: 8:37pm On Jan 02, 2016
Re: About Women Making The First Move. by Nobody: 8:41pm On Jan 02, 2016
Wildngent:


Girlfriend! any move beyond that may seem rather too desperate if you asked me. i really don't know what you mean but if you walked up to me and passed a compliment at me*even though it ain't true* you should have gotten my attention now. This is a move, but not an ambitious one. Now there is a common ground between two people, which is an ongoing conversation that had just ensued. Say i was a fair guy and you continued;"i noticed you are about the only dark dude in the building and i stopped by to say hi!" That should lighten the mood for an ongoing talk. If you smell the dude is being all arrogant, can't see or keep up with what you are trying to do, then the cookie might crumble too soon. HE AIN'T WORTH THE TIME*she should know by now cos Ladies are masterfully calculative with manipulations far better than dudes in this regard, after all who run the world??* then it's time to pull the plug even though the chit chat may have ended awkwardly. She shouldn't loose too much of her self worth, should she? Now think what if the dude was a brilliant chap and acted along. She got what she wanted, and It may well have ended in a healthy relationship.

That's very fair. But as I said, what I meant goes beyond that. It could involve asking for a relationship and declaring intentions and feelings of love or whatever.
Re: About Women Making The First Move. by Haywhymido(m): 8:41pm On Jan 02, 2016
Laveda:
Nah... I can't try that shít again..
Imagine being turned down when you've surmoned the courage to talk to him sad

I dont advice that...keep flashing that green light..if he's too dumb to see it...fùck him undecidedundecided.
really But guys get turned down day in day out. So much for ur gender equality

3 Likes

Re: About Women Making The First Move. by Deejavuu(f): 8:43pm On Jan 02, 2016
I came late to the party cry sad

Very nice thread.


There's no big deal in asking a hot brother out. The only thing is you have to strike at the right time, and do it with a someone you have known to an extent. Most of these girls saying they can't stoop that low bla bla bla. Y'all should wake up! We're the in the 21st century sweetie, go for that brother now. If it works out fine if it doesn't life goes on....

P-s - I need to go woo that hot brother now! Before another smart ass outsmart me tongue

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: About Women Making The First Move. by Nobody: 8:45pm On Jan 02, 2016
francizy:


Really, I expect all feminists to practice that act of walking up to men they find appealing oh.. cheesy
Maybe we'll soon get to the era where all men will have to wait to be asked out by females.. smiley grin


Lol. Y'all will grow beards that will sweep the floor before that happens.
Re: About Women Making The First Move. by tosyne2much(m): 8:48pm On Jan 02, 2016
iAmCharis:
I didn't want to comment on this thread but well,.......... Buuaahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaa
grin grin grin grin grin grin grin
Lmao cheesy
Re: About Women Making The First Move. by Nobody: 8:48pm On Jan 02, 2016
zanga420:
its an instinct thing. But lemme use my buddy's case as an example.
He said, he's seen d babe b4 but getting into relationship was not his headache then. While d babe had eyes on him n had even run a check on him(his relationship status n all that). On a day they were together chatting, d lady asked, 'dude I love ur personality, I dont mind dating a person like u'. And that straightforwardness attracted him to her. And since then, they've been solid. Though presently, work have kept them in different cities. I think all things being equal, they might walk down d aisle. The only thing he has complained about d babe is her temperament. She's too hot tempered. Hope u understood my long epistle.


This is one instance I already agreed is permissible. I think my major issue lies in making the first move on a total stranger one has no real acquaintanceship with.
Re: About Women Making The First Move. by tosyne2much(m): 8:49pm On Jan 02, 2016
kinglekan:



Don't mind tosyne2much, thats how he wee be vibrating like jelly fish at the mention of anything Olivia.... grin grin

She's just a friend with no strings attached cheesy
Re: About Women Making The First Move. by tosyne2much(m): 8:50pm On Jan 02, 2016
Oahray:
lol. I be no even see this post sef. grin
Baba, abi I lie ni? cheesy
Re: About Women Making The First Move. by gemale(m): 8:52pm On Jan 02, 2016
Laveda:
Nah... I can't try that shít again..
Imagine being turned down when you've surmoned the courage to talk to him sad

I dont advice that...keep flashing that green light..if he's too dumb to see it...fùck him undecidedundecided.
So u have neva paused 2 tnk dt some guys too live in perpetual fear of being turned down by women? D embarrassment & huge dent 2 1's ego & self esteem as well as d emotional hurt. Do u tnk we as men dnt feel it when u rebuff our advances? Bt we get over it in tym. So shld u pple shld u decide 2 take d bulls by d horns & ask us out. As 4 ur green lights, Women tnk men r psychic. Is dere anything lyk 'standard signs a woman lyk a guy'? No, D poor guy u r flashing those signs probably might tnk u r just bein nyc 2 him while some1 u r just nyc 2 might mistake ur friendliness 4 amorous feelings. So many times d latter has been my case & so many times I have heard 4rm many pple abt hw 1 girl I know bt wishes 2 remain anonymous fancies me & I can't seem 2 figure out who. I have in fact given up on tryn 2 ask females out because it seems I don't just get d female way of thinking.

2 Likes

Re: About Women Making The First Move. by ronald4lif(m): 8:52pm On Jan 02, 2016
francizy:


Really, I expect all feminists to practice that act of walking up to men they find appealing oh.. cheesy
Maybe we'll soon get to the era where all men will have to wait to be asked out by females.. smiley grin

Real feminist and fervent adherent of egalitarianism are not afraid and see no problem approaching a man they like. It will be a disservice and unmerited affront to all true feminists and their struggle to examine feminism with the pseudo feminists we have on NL.

Some of us know the true characters of feminist and that they won't be scared to go for what they want. We can scratch beyond the surface boss. Though this cuts across feminism so let's not straitjacket it for now.

1 Like

Re: About Women Making The First Move. by tosyne2much(m): 8:53pm On Jan 02, 2016
Oliviaarims:




Ur left ventricle!!!
See ehn ! If I like you, I will definitely show you a greenlight and it's expected of you to woo me.. And if you can't, I will drastically lose interest in you cool

1 Like

Re: About Women Making The First Move. by Nobody: 8:53pm On Jan 02, 2016
MCFRESH:
making sence thou
Thankyou!wink

Re: About Women Making The First Move. by Nobody: 8:54pm On Jan 02, 2016
TaiKuun:
what you said was right but you are too rude. Thats repelling
I'm sorry?cry

Re: About Women Making The First Move. by Nobody: 8:54pm On Jan 02, 2016
tosyne2much:
See ehn ! If I like you, I will definitely show you a greenlight and it's expected of you to woo me.. And if you can't, I will drastically lose interest in you cool



I might as well just try out my wooing skills on u.. Lol
Re: About Women Making The First Move. by Nobody: 8:55pm On Jan 02, 2016
kinglekan:



The undiluted _FUCKING TRUTH.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: About Women Making The First Move. by holysaint1(m): 8:55pm On Jan 02, 2016
Kachisbarbie:
Some ladies expect guys to know when they are in the mood to be wooed, if they are his level or not... like he is psychic _ yet they can't do same.
Guys get turned down everyday, and they are not dead.

You don't go about approaching every random guy, those signs you expect a young man to watch out for, you should be smart enough to watch out for same signs.

Observing a guy closely (especially when you guys have established a reasonable degree of familiarity), you would notice if he is into you but has issues expressing himself probably for fear of being turned down too. That's the time to strike... grin

Re: About Women Making The First Move. by Nobody: 8:57pm On Jan 02, 2016
akachidi:

It works differently for every body,and I don't think it really matters who makes the move wether in wooing or in bed.
Actually, it does!wink

Re: About Women Making The First Move. by Oahray: 8:58pm On Jan 02, 2016
tosyne2much:
Baba, abi I lie ni? cheesy
boss no be lie o. E get the kind packaging wey you go give fridge, even Eskimos go dey hustle to buy am.

1 Like

Re: About Women Making The First Move. by Akious2k2(m): 9:02pm On Jan 02, 2016
lipsrsealed
Re: About Women Making The First Move. by lookingfly: 9:02pm On Jan 02, 2016
wristbangle:


At the bolded, Please can you explain in details.
help me ask her........ Guys don turn magician abi
Re: About Women Making The First Move. by tommychow(m): 9:03pm On Jan 02, 2016
Please, stop lying to yourselves ladies. You lack the communication skills to effectively woo him. That's it. You'll be utterly unwise to be completely upfront in your intention to date him. You need to have a lively, interesting first impression so he can open up and enjoy your company. I think that's the problem; 78% of naij girls can't create and maintain an interesting, intellectual conversation. It's always the man's job. Oh, except when it comes to gossiping.

Develop your communication skills, dress attractively not slutty and chyk the hell outta tha nigga.

4 Likes

Re: About Women Making The First Move. by Wildngent: 9:05pm On Jan 02, 2016
Oliviaarims:


That's very fair. But as I said, what I meant goes beyond that. It could involve asking for a relationship and declaring intentions and feelings of love or whatever.

Ohkay! Then personally, i don't think it is right for the lady to go all out. If there is close proximity between both parties thereafter, then the lady can keep playing situations to her advantage. Since both parties were never in an intimate relationship, then one can't actually say the feelings she has would last a minute. It might just be qualities she's attracted to. Assuming they were already platonic friends, then seducing him might be a head start in a bid to getting out of being friend zoned which often times is no guarantee into an emotional relationship.

maybe voodoo will do the trick*just joking* but i would try to build a spontaneous adventurous relationship first that don't reveal intents just yet if i were the chick cos i know how most men think.
Re: About Women Making The First Move. by Nobody: 9:07pm On Jan 02, 2016
Owlcity2:
Feeling funky, abi? undecided
Oh, yeeeeeah!grin

Re: About Women Making The First Move. by Nobody: 9:08pm On Jan 02, 2016
DharmyYinks:

So does he @bolded and its even easier for him. wink Guess u havnt seen sum1 u lyk so much...if not..u wont Ve said he can hang himself grin: P


It depends on d way she approached him (n d kinda Guy... some will be glad while some wont) Dropping it suddenly may scare him.
You're right!undecided


That's why I said I'd give him signs...wink

Re: About Women Making The First Move. by kinglekan: 9:08pm On Jan 02, 2016
tosyne2much:
She's just a friend with no strings attached cheesy



If dem born u well attach string na, u go know as water take enta coconut. angry angry

Re: About Women Making The First Move. by kinglekan: 9:10pm On Jan 02, 2016
Oliviaarims:



Lekan, where did you hear that one again? Lol.



I don't want all these bois to be disturbing u anyhow. grin cheesy grin cheesy

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