I need your candid advice on how to handle the various cases of infidelity against my wife. We have been married for 10 years with kids and I have never had any reason to doubt her until the following incidents began to unfold;

1. Sometimes in 2012, I took her to the market on a Sunday morning. She left her phone inside the car while she went into the market. A message dropped and I picked her phone to check, what I saw was a joystick sent by one of her BBM contacts. I dropped the phone aand pretended I dint see anything. When she came back, she checked the phone, saw the picture, deleted it and pretended nothing happened.

I waited for like 5hours to be sure she wasn't going to talk about it before bringing it up. She claimed it was sent in error and went ahead to call the guy to register her displeasure. I believed her and laid the matter to rest.

2. About six months later, I was out of the country. She called about 6pm that she needed to drop some items for a client at City Mall, little did I know she went to meet a man at Swe bar. I got back some days later and noticed she was all over her phone chatting and smiling while I was talking to her. I took the phone from her to see whom she was chatting it. All the previous chats had been deleted and I continued chatting with the guy. I could not flow well because the guy was coding and suspected he wasn't chatting with the right person.

I went through her phone for any prior message between them and I saw an SMS she sent to him at about 11:45pm the day she went to City Mall; "I just got home, please call if you can"! I did further findings before she confessed she went to meet with the guy at Swe bar and had to call to lis to me in case she runs into one of my friends. She claimed the guy is an old friend and had issues in his marriage, so she turned a marriage counsellor overnight to go solve the issues.

3. While I was still with her phone, the guy that sent his joystick pinged and I started chatting with him. The guy went very romantic and I cautioned him not to put me in trouble like he did when he sent an unsolicited pix of his joystick. The guy went "Ah Stella, but you asked me to send it na, have you forgotten? That you even sent me a pix of your laps taken in a dark room when I asked for yours"! I was speechless! He went "and you said you told your hubby it was sent in error and he believed you". I confronted my wife with all these and she still had some "stories" to tell.

4. We were at her Mum's place two years ago and she got a call, she told the fellow to come see her there. Her ex came in some minutes later to the warm embrace of the mum. We greeted and he wasted no time to settle in and joined the discussion on ground. The last time I saw him was before we got married and she claimed they never dated. The guy talked about his wife, how poor she is in home keeping, in the kitchen. on bed etc. My wife cut in "and this lady is supposed to be enjoying Andy o, cos I remember Andy knows how to take care of a woman, each time he came visiting in the university days, he always came with bags full of goodies". She even suggested seeing the woman to advise her and the guy said "no you are not in the best position to do that, you know she is not too comfortable with you".

All these happened right in the presence of my mother in law and I kept my calm all through. We left there after the show of shame and I warned her to cut all communications with the guy.

5. Few weeks later, same guy came to our church to worship. After the service wifey told me his kids would like to follow us home to meet our kids; I did not respond. Her mum and aunt was also in the church same Sunday and I drove them and my wife straight to my house. The guy drove behind. We got home, wifey went to the kitchen to cook, her mum and aunt settled in to a good gist with this guy in my own very living room. I picked my keys and left the house for them. I returned late in the night when they had all left and you can guess what happened afterwards.

6. I was with her phone few weeks later and another ex bumped in. "My baby, how are you doing, I have missed you bla bla bla". He requested they meet somewhere on the mainland two days later! After taking a second look at the unsaved number, I remembered the number had sent her an SMS; "can I call you now" about twice in the past. the second time I saw the SMS, I called the number with her phone but the guy refused to pick all thru the day!

7. Last Christmas dat, she gave me her phone to check something on her whatsapp and a chat came in from a guy I have been monitoring his number for a while. The excerpt of the chat is below (I took over the chat from the line he asked for her pix).

5/12/2015, 7:51 am - sy: May d joy of Xmas be for u and ur family IJN
25/12/2015, 7:52 am - sy: Enjoy ur day
25/12/2015, 11:08 am - Jimmyeatery: snap i wanna see yur Sexy look
25/12/2015, 11:09 am - Jimmyeatery: I hope youre alone
25/12/2015, 11:09 am - sy: Lol
25/12/2015, 11:09 am - sy: Yes
25/12/2015, 11:09 am - Jimmyeatery: Plsssssss
25/12/2015, 11:10 am - Jimmyeatery: IM alone here too
25/12/2015, 11:10 am - sy: That's good
25/12/2015, 11:10 am - Jimmyeatery: IM deleting it immediately
25/12/2015, 11:11 am - sy: Where is the one you have
25/12/2015, 11:11 am - Jimmyeatery: Lemme snap
25/12/2015, 11:11 am - sy: Ok
25/12/2015, 11:14 am - Jimmyeatery: IMG-20151225-WA0006.jpg (file attached)
25/12/2015, 11:15 am - Jimmyeatery: Pls delete it quickly
25/12/2015, 11:15 am - sy: Nice
25/12/2015, 11:15 am - sy: Why should I delete it
25/12/2015, 11:15 am - Jimmyeatery: Tnx
25/12/2015, 11:16 am - Jimmyeatery: Someone can misplaced phone
25/12/2015, 11:16 am - sy: That's true
25/12/2015, 11:16 am - Jimmyeatery: I dont want yur man to one across it as well
25/12/2015, 11:17 am - Jimmyeatery: To be on safe side
25/12/2015, 11:17 am - sy: Ok
25/12/2015, 11:17 am - Jimmyeatery: I wanna see u babe
25/12/2015, 11:18 am - sy: You have my pix already now
25/12/2015, 11:18 am - Jimmyeatery: Lemme see yur Sexy body babe
25/12/2015, 11:18 am - Jimmyeatery: Nope
25/12/2015, 11:18 am - Jimmyeatery: Very not seen it
25/12/2015, 11:18 am - sy: Is it even new to you
25/12/2015, 11:18 am - syt: OK o
25/12/2015, 11:18 am - sy: Till we see again
25/12/2015, 11:18 am - Jimmyeatery: Ive not
25/12/2015, 11:19 am - Jimmyeatery: Plsssssss
25/12/2015, 11:19 am - sy: Why are you in a hurry
25/12/2015, 11:19 am - Jimmyeatery: Dont be shy dear
25/12/2015, 11:19 am - Jimmyeatery: IM just lonely here
25/12/2015, 11:20 am - Jimmyeatery: Soo lonely
25/12/2015, 11:20 am - syt: What about your wife
25/12/2015, 11:20 am - Jimmyeatery: In London
25/12/2015, 11:20 am - Jimmyeatery: In London with my kids
25/12/2015, 11:21 am - sy: Good
25/12/2015, 11:21 am - Jimmyeatery: I av 1% left
25/12/2015, 11:21 am - sy: What?
25/12/2015, 11:21 am - Jimmyeatery: Snap lemme see you
25/12/2015, 11:22 am - syt: You will see me when I change my dp
25/12/2015, 11:23 am - syt: You there?
25/12/2015, 11:43 am - Jimmyeatery: IMG-20151225-WA0009.jpg (file attached)
25/12/2015, 11:45 am - Jimmyeatery: IMG-20151225-WA0008.jpg (file attached)
25/12/2015, 11:44 am - Jimmyeatery: My ba3 low N phone went off
25/12/2015, 11:44 am - Jimmyeatery: Im using my laptop to charge now
25/12/2015, 11:46 am - syt: OK Sir
25/12/2015, 11:47 am - sy: Was wondering why you kept quiet
25/12/2015, 11:51 am - sy: Can't talk please
25/12/2015, 11:51 am - Jimmyeatery: Ok
25/12/2015, 11:51 am - Jimmyeatery: I tot u said youre alone before
25/12/2015, 11:52 am - sy: My kids are here now
25/12/2015, 11:52 am - Jimmyeatery: Lemme know wen youre free to talk
25/12/2015, 11:52 am - Jimmyeatery: Oook
25/12/2015, 11:52 am - sy: Let's chat, say whatever you wanna say here
25/12/2015, 11:52 am - syt: My hubby is out
25/12/2015, 11:53 am - Jimmyeatery: Are u Sure?
25/12/2015, 11:53 am - syt: 😃
25/12/2015, 11:53 am - syt: Yeah
25/12/2015, 11:53 am - Jimmyeatery: Snap lemme be sure if youre d right person IM chatting with................

Please advise me in how to handle all these.......

Thank you.

Which advise do you want.

Divorce?

Just don't know what to say.
I feel really bad for u op especially the part about u two being married with kids.
She sure ain't loyal.

Women sha ( some) they are never satisfy and never will be. Sir, you need solid facts not all this to catch her red handed. She can deny this cos its not convincing enough. Catch her like the way a rat is caught in a trap and boot her cheating ass out of your home. Cos she will kill you one day if not now. Some WOmen are just too evil, can you imagine?

AstuteJ:
I need your candid advice on how to handle the various cases of infidelity against my wife. ...


... Please advise me in how to handle all these.......

Thank you.

You are not man enough. QED.

Eyaahh... If all u posted is real, then Sorry bro, u married an Olosho


Well this is what u should do - ... fast and pray for God to change her.. ( as that is d advice given to women when her hubby is doing this kind of rubbish) and again "'stop touching her fone; yes ke! leave her fone alone, so u don't give urself high bp" (advice given to women). no be only women go dey endure this kind rubbish.

Ginaz:
Women sha ( some) they are never satisfy and never will be. Sir, you need solid facts not all this to catch her red handed. She can deny this cos its not convincing enough. Catch her like the way a rat is caught in a trap and boot her cheating ass out of your home. Cos she will kill you one day if not now. Some WOmen are just too evil, can you imagine?

What do you intend to gain from using cuss words on a fellow woman like you? Please don't judge her at least not yet.



@Op I took the time to read all you posted and I can't help but notice how the guy is so immature and your wife too. Please first let go of any thought of divorce in your head as what you have now are just assumptions.


She's your wife and you've been with her for 10years so you should know how to get the truth from her and I'll say you should use love not anger. Ask her questions like if she isn't satisfied with you or where you've missed it or something,.make it seem like the fault is coming from you even though its not and she'll most likely be comfortable and she'll begin to open up. Be ready to forgive no matter how bitter it turns out at least for the sake of your children.


Make sure she deletes and block those guys and try to resolve whatsoever reason she'll give.


#Myhumbleopinion



Lalasticlala help this guy get good advice.

Its as if God created men well and added problem to our peace again. Women have always been prb from garden eden. Thank God for the likes of ruth in d bible..at least she gives us hope.

Take his numberss from ur wife's phone and make sure u don't lose it. Save d messages/chats and print them out too if necessary. Dont give ur wife any inkling of being offended so u will keep having access to her phone to follow up the issue. Get as much evidence as u can including the guy's picture. U cld even trace her to dia meeting point if they plan to meet and get d video

Forget sympathy 4 now. If she's not brought to book b4 her ppl, she won't know the gravity of what she's doing. Take her to her ppl as a suprise package, there let loose the d matter. If possible flash him with ur wife's number and let him call right there. Leave her there with her ppl(U'll knw in ur mind that they'll come begging) but for the mean time she has to know that what she's doing is something extremely abominable. She has to fear marital faithfulness and respect u.

Really!!! This is serious oooooo

If this your story is true, what stops you from filing for a divorce, then call for a meeting of both families, armed with your evidences?

elantraceey:



What do you intend to gain from using cuss words on a fellow woman like you? Please don't judge her at least not yet.



@Op I took the time to read all you posted and I can't help but notice how the guy is so immature and your wife too. Please first let go of any thought of divorce in your head as what you have now are just assumptions.


She's your wife and you've been with her for 10years so you should know how to get the truth from her and I'll say you should use love not anger. Ask her questions like if she isn't satisfied with you or where you've missed it or something,.make it seem like the fault is coming from you even though its not and she'll most likely be comfortable and she'll begin to open up. Be ready to forgive no matter how bitter it turns out at least for the sake of your children.


Make sure she deletes and block those guys and try to resolve whatsoever reason she'll give.


#Myhumbleopinion



Lalasticlala help this guy get good advice.

I'm hurt by actions like this

Pray and fast for your wife
Talk to her calmly about the issue
Divorce is a sin
Knee down and ask for forgiveness
Treat her right
Talk to your pastor
Take her for deliverance to mountain of fire closest to you
Try to make her happy,maybe she is bored
Maybe you are not doing enough to please her

BTT:


You are not man enough. QED.

Did you have to quote the whole epistle smh!

Ginaz:


I'm hurt by actions like this

I'm sorry ok , I just want us to try to see things from others perspective and not just be overly judgemental 'cause we all ain't perfect and everyone have a reason,we should find out first even though some might be unreasonable.

This guy is what I call WEAK and EMOTIONAL

You had a very good opportunity to put an end to the nonsense at the beginning, but no you wanted to be the gentleman

[size=28]ELEYI GIDI GAN...Women and cheat sef.."[/size]

elantraceey:



What do you intend to gain from using cuss words on a fellow woman like you? Please don't judge her at least not yet.



@Op I took the time to read all you posted and I can't help but notice how the guy is so immature and your wife too. Please first let go of any thought of divorce in your head as what you have now are just assumptions.


She's your wife and you've been with her for 10years so you should know how to get the truth from her and I'll say you should use love not anger. Ask her questions like if she isn't satisfied with you or where you've missed it or something,.make it seem like the fault is coming from you even though its not and she'll most likely be comfortable and she'll begin to open up. Be ready to forgive no matter how bitter it turns out at least for the sake of your children.


Make sure she deletes and block those guys and try to resolve whatsoever reason she'll give.


#Myhumbleopinion



Lalasticlala help this guy get good advice.

With you advice on this matter, I can humbly conclude that you are not a good person and you definitely have similar traits to OP's wife.

Gracias

U may really be weak sha, allowing an ex,mil, aunt n ur wife to be aving chit chat in ur living room. Ex visiting ur home like sey 2moro no dey.Try dat with me, n u will av reasons to hate me to the seven heavens. Surely, her mother passed it to her. Hope u dont av a female child yet, what am seeing is nt gud at all. Get enuff evidences n walk to the court. N pls stop calling a wh¤re ur wife. No modesty,cheating, a chronic liar,a flirt, sumone dat doesnt respect herself how wld she respect u Pls tell me what she knw how to do self, maybe dat can cover up 4 her bad vices.

Guy,u dull gan

The woman u married....that u married with ur money, is sending and receiving nudes from various men and u r seeking advice?

Pls after the divorce,do dna test for the children

U wldnt want to be called daddy by anoda man's children




Chaii,the way some men like to fall our hand ehn

@op. Where did you meet your wife?
You have alleged your wife of a serious crime. She could be prosecuted for illegal publishingof indecent materials and adultery (in Northern Nigeria).
You may have to confront her in the presence of some family members with all your evidences and be prepared for seperation.
I can't imagine living with an adulterous wife. The earlier you confront her the better for your life l

Endtime wife

Chai..Ur wife is cheating. Op sorry to say it, but u were too lenient with her in d past when she showed these cheating traits. Now she has turned to full blown kesiah. u hv confront her about it and don't give her room to deny it again.

And if u still want to make it work with her, forgive her, take control and dont ever give her room to mention d word 'ex' in ur house ever again. Even if na ex wey don turn pastor

I would hope this is a fake write up, for OP's sake. Otherwise it breaks my heart. Seems a very dedicated spouse has chosen a mate who is... I'll just say "a bad person"...

@op if you are able to list 7 things that are suspicious, you already know what's going on but refuse to accept it bc you know it means you have to confront it. You have to put your big boy pants on and stand up for yourself, your family, marriage, and your dignity.

Miami11:
Pray and fast for your wife
Talk to her calmly about the issue
Divorce is a sin
Knee down and ask for forgiveness
Treat her right
Talk to your pastor
Take her for deliverance

Where on any of the Holy Books is it written that 'divorce is a sin especially when the issue of adultery/infidelity has been established'?

@ op, follow the above advise at your own peril.

This one heavy oh!
This woman is cheating and enjoying it
Ha! not even 1 (I'm not justifying or supporting or defending her act), she's got plenty!
I don't know what to say to you so I don't have a hand in "putting asunder what god has joined together"

I wish you well in any decision you may choose to take

this is why your marriage should be based on Christ so hopefully yall know its not normal to be sending or receiving photos of other people's vaginas, p.enises, or any g.enitalia/private parts as a form of recreation or blackmail.


receive deliverance from this bondage of p.orn addiction and so on.

didn't read the write up but I think I saw something about somebody receiving photos of another person's g.enitalia via phone.

lord have mercy.

abi na for my phone una say una see somebody preek ni?

ko ju ise yin o, una can do and undo.

I doubt if a Customary court will ask for more evidence before dissolving this marriage. Love is an expression of stupidity.

Wowzer! You are on a long tin...I hope that woman doesn't ruin you patapata! Pls stop sleeping with her without protection for now while you put her on a blast!

God purnish devil!

GANDALF1:


With you advice on this matter, I can humbly conclude that you are not a good person and you definitely have similar traits to OP's wife.

Gracias

Are you kidding me? So you're perfect ? You've never done something you were not proud of? Can you imagine? Concluding on someone you know nothing about. I'm not saying cheating is excusable but what's written up there is not the story so cut the woman some slag and don't just judge her like that.

Chase the damn prostitute out of ya life - You've got loads of evidence and yet here you are asking for help on how to handle such a betrayal of trust.

Chase the damn thing out of your house and conduct a proper DNA test to ascertain if you're the biological father of all your kids.