Little did I know until I went for a burial this past Christmas Holiday in Igboland. I thought having money was enough to make burial happen as people come to eat and drink basically in this part of the world during burials. The ‘’Umu-Ada’’ and Co. were so problematic and difficult that I was very angry to comprehend their issues. They fine you for anyone passing by without greeting those dug the grave ‘’Daalu Oru’’ meaning- ‘’well done’’. They fine the children for building beautiful houses in thier father’s compound/land (where the mother lived and took care of obviously); this fine is because you did not build any special house for your mother with a modern kitchen too....and they ask you to build it before she is buried oo on the day of the burial!? Like seriously? Thank God everything went well eventually; they had everything provided for them but were unsatisfied. They claimed it was their last opportunity to be appreciated since their sister, daughter, niece/nephew had embarked on a journey of no return.
This nasty experience led me to asking more questions from those who live in the village and I discovered it is same in all Igbo culture. In fact, I thought it was only marrying in Igbo land that was hectic, burial is twice hectic and may be more difficult especially when you are based outside of the eastern territories- ‘’Abroad People’’ as they refer to those not living in the eastern Nigeria.
I heard a shocking story of how a woman whom I knew as a growing child those days in the village died sometime in 2015 and how the casket had to be changed as the burial did not hold on the date scheduled, neither did it hold the day after. Hence, Caskets had to be changed because they could not drive the long distance to return her to the mortuary or were thinking the issues would be resolved sooner than it had taken. WhAT A STRESS THE CHILDREN MUST HAVE SUFFERED!!
WHAT HAPPENED? Their mother was not properly married according to tradition. He found her somewhere and they began living together and they began bearing children. She gave the man 7 BOYS, ONE GIRL! It was all good, the children were grown and living well, until the woman died. Obviously, in Igboland you CANNOT bury a woman’s corpse without the knowledge of the family, IF YOU LOVE YOURSELF. That was the genesis of the revelation. The woman’s family (immediate and extended) said they were not aware their daughter was even married, let alone having children. How can their daughter be down with sickness or even that she went somewhere and has refused to return. The Man had to marry her in the FULL traditional way IN DEATH and of course was made to Kiss her Corpse as a newly married in death!! Then they went on to burying the deceased grandmother, mother and father who died donkey years ago before they could bury their mother . I was also told that if a man/woman dies, you dare not inform the family directly of the news, you keep beating about the bush until the message is received. If you break it directly, you would explain what killed the son/daughter to them and this is a VERY SERIOUS MATTER!!
This is a First hand information of what happened in my State in the Eastern Coast of Nigeria..
If you are living with an Igbo lady/woman and she is bearing you children, you have not married her properly just co-habitation, please; it is not just God you are sinning against, YOU MIGHT JUST BE in for something that would become complicated in future! IF THAT LADY/WOMAN dies living with you, you are in a VERY BIG TROUBLE.
Thought I should update those who might be less updated like me until I experienced it as a grown up now. Feel free to counter whatever was said if your own culture is different and you are Igbo or better still, share your knowledge about burials in Igbo Land. IGBO KWENU!! NIGERIA KWE ZU O NU!!!HIAAA!!!



CC: Nairaland

Must one be buried in the East?

kestolove95:
but all wat he say ar truth na dearie

For where she comes from, yes. Such doesn't happen in my place to the best of my knowledge. But your statement was wrong, whatever part of Nigeria or even Africa you come from has its custom and traditions that may be strange to non-indigenes. Learning to be tolerant of other people's belief will bring about the much needed peace and unity in Africa/Nigeria. Daalu!

If you are from the east, yes. Except such family has totally lost its origin. Even a husband and wife who never go home for christmas or anything, once either of them dies, they are scarcely buried outside. Any Ibgo man/woman buried in yoruba land for instance, MUST HAVE BEEN LOST.

Suigeneris93:
Must one be buried in the East?

WHERE ARE YOU FROM NWANNE?? What I shared happened in an eastern State.

Suigeneris93:




For where she comes from, yes. Such doesn't happen in my place to the best of my knowledge. But your statement was wrong, whatever part of Nigeria or even Africa you come from has its custom and traditions that may be strange to non-indigenes. Learning to be tolerant of other people's belief will bring about the much needed peace and unity in Africa/Nigeria. Daalu!

Ngalaba1:
WHERE ARE YOU FROM NWANNE?? What I shared happened in Enugu State.

Gud for u,I'm not from Enugu state

Is that your understaning of this thread Well, I do not think there is any need to insult anyone. I only shared an experience I witnesses in Dec.
Marrying an Igbo person is the BEST thing that can happen to any Nigerian by the way. I am proudly Igbo. Nonetheless, you need to be in touch with what you are getting into and the need to really absorb a whole lot about Igbos and of course bearing in mind that there are slight differences depending on the State of origin or as the case may be. So for those who think it is awoof to carry somebody's daughter because they got her pregnant or co-habited and delay marrying her properly, days are reckoning are ahead.

kestolove95:
but all wat he say ar truth na dearie

So where are you from? Because I also know that in Imo State you do not announce to a family that their daughter you married is dead, you have to also beat around the bush. If you are proud of your state, say it and see if people from your state on nairaland who are more updated than you would not put you better on track. Even though I am aware there certainly would be slight variations from state to state.

Suigeneris93:



Gud for u,I'm not from Enugu state

Thanks Dear. Leave that guy alone. I am not sure he understands the point being made. It is good for one to know about the traditions and culture of their people inside-out.

kestolove95:
but all wat he say ar truth na dearie

Like Seriously ARE YOU FOR REAL? LOL. That is serious Sarcasm because the fact that everything that has to do with Igbos get progressive is too too glaring in every country of the world dear. Igbos see to the end of Everything they do. And of course, just as it is with life, it has its own limitation too..

kestolove95:
Anything that has to do with backwardness are related to d ibos.

Ngalaba1:
So where are you from? Because I also know that in Imo State you do not announce to a family that their daughter you married is dead, you have to also beat around the bush. If you are proud of your state, say it and see if people from your state on nairaland who are more updated than you would not put you better on track. Even though I am aware there certainly would be slight variations from state to state.

Cut d long story short, I'm Igbo and I don't like the negative review u gave of the rites and traditions your people hold dear. The way you put it was derogatory. I don't want the I too know nairalanders to put me on track, don't nid their lecturing or yours too. Just saying u shud rep igboland better

Ngalaba1:
If you are from the east, yes. Except such family has totally lost its origin. Even a husband and wife who never go home for christmas or anything, once either of them dies, they are scarcely buried outside. Any Ibgo man/woman buried in yoruba land for instance, MUST HAVE BEEN LOST.

Great, I know my roots but I'd rather save my family the stress of taking my body home for burial when there are cemeteries around. Truth is, my dead body won't hv a say in where its buried.

Ngalaba1:
@Suigeneris93: Is that your understaning of this thread Well, I do not think there is any need to insult anyone. I only shared an experience I witnesses in Dec.
Marrying an Igbo person is the BEST thing that can happen to any Nigerian by the way. I am proudly Igbo. Nonetheless, you need to be in touch with what you are getting into and the need to really absorb a whole lot about Igbos and of course bearing in mind that there are slight differences depending on the State of origin or as the case may be. So for those who think it is awoof to carry somebody's daughter because they got her pregnant or co-habited and delay marrying her properly, days are reckoning are ahead.

First off, you quoted the wrong person, I wasn't the person that said Igboland is synonymous with backwardness and that should qualify as an insult.

hmmm... interesting

if you impregnant an igbo girl without doing all the things you are supposed to do,na market u buy,,the children belongs to the father of the girl until ''ime ego n'isi'' the girlie o

Suigeneris93:




Cut d long story short, I'm Igbo and I don't like the negative review u gave of the rites and traditions your people hold dear. The way you put it was derogatory. I don't want the I too know nairalanders to put me on track, don't nid their lecturing or yours too. Just saying u shud rep igboland better

Okay. I get your point now. It was just how I felt about my own experience. I did not mean any negative impression creation. Thanks though.

This thread is an eye-opener. Mods could you help push this to the front page for opinions of other nairalander?
odumchi, bigfrancis21, Fulaman198 and lalasticlala please help take this thread to the front page.

Suigeneris93:



Great, I know my roots but I'd rather save my family the stress of taking my body home for burial when there are cemeteries around. Truth is, my dead body won't hv a say in where its buried.

Exactly, your corpse will not have a choice then but so long you are not a child, you are an adult or even married? They cannot bury you outside. Except, everyone around you is lost too.

Suigeneris93:




First off, you quoted the wrong person, I wasn't the person that said Igboland is synonymous with backwardness and that should qualify as an insult.

Yeah...you are right. Sorry about that Nne.

GlassDoc:
hmmm... interesting

Yes, Quite Interesting Glassdoc.

agadez007:
if you impregnant an igbo girl without doing all the things you are supposed to do,na market u buy,,the children belongs to the father of the girl until ''ime ego n'isi'' the girlie o

So I heard Nwanne. It is actually a very serious matter. I wonder why some men think it is awoof?? They probably are not this informed perhaps...

Sammiel:
This thread is an eye-opener. Mods could you help push this to the front page for opinions of other nairalander?
odumchi, bigfrancis21, Fulaman198 and lalasticlala please help take this thread to the front page.

Thanks Sammiel. I really would like to hear the opinion of other Igbo men and women on nairaland as well as of other cultures. I know culture session may not be a very visited session by many people on nairaland including me until I had to post this thread...So thanks man.

Ngalaba1:
Okay. I get your point now. It was just how I felt about my own experience. I did not mean any negative impression creation. Thanks though.

Alright...you're welcome

Suigeneris93:




Alright...you're welcome

Yeah..thanks.

Suigeneris93:




Alright...you're welcome

Yeah..thanks.

Ngalaba1:
Little did I know until I went for a burial this past Christmas Holiday in Igboland. I thought having money was enough to make burial happen as people come to eat and drink basically in this part of the world during burials. The ‘’Umu-Ada’’ and Co. were so problematic and difficult that I was very angry to comprehend their issues. They fine you for anyone passing by without greeting those dug the grave ‘’Daalu Oru’’ meaning- ‘’well done’’. They fine the children for building beautiful houses in thier father’s compound/land (where the mother lived and took care of obviously); this fine is because you did not build any special house for your mother with a modern kitchen too....and they ask you to build it before she is buried oo on the day of the burial!? Like seriously? Thank God everything went well eventually; they had everything provided for them but were unsatisfied. They claimed it was their last opportunity to be appreciated since their sister, daughter, niece/nephew had embarked on a journey of no return.
This nasty experience led me to asking more questions from those who live in the village and I discovered it is same in all Igbo culture. In fact, I thought it was only marrying in Igbo land that was hectic, burial is twice hectic and may be more difficult especially when you are based outside of the eastern territories- ‘’Abroad People’’ as they refer to those not living in the eastern Nigeria.
I heard a shocking story of how a woman whom I knew as a growing child those days in the village died sometime in 2015 and how the casket had to be changed as the burial did not hold on the date scheduled, neither did it hold the day after. Hence, Caskets had to be changed because they could not drive the long distance to return her to the mortuary or were thinking the issues would be resolved sooner than it had taken. WhAT A STRESS THE CHILDREN MUST HAVE SUFFERED!!
WHAT HAPPENED? Their mother was not properly married according to tradition. He found her somewhere and they began living together and they began bearing children. She gave the man 7 BOYS, ONE GIRL! It was all good, the children were grown and living well, until the woman died. Obviously, in Igboland you CANNOT bury a woman’s corpse without the knowledge of the family, IF YOU LOVE YOURSELF. That was the genesis of the revelation. The woman’s family (immediate and extended) said they were not aware their daughter was even married, let alone having children. How can their daughter be down with sickness or even that she went somewhere and has refused to return. The Man had to marry her in the FULL traditional way IN DEATH and of course was made to Kiss her Corpse as a newly married in death!! Then they went on to burying the deceased grandmother, mother and father who died donkey years ago before they could bury their mother . I was also told that if a man/woman dies, you dare not inform the family directly of the news, you keep beating about the bush until the message is received. If you break it directly, you would explain what killed the son/daughter to them and this is a VERY SERIOUS MATTER!!
This is a First hand information of what happened in my State in the Eastern Coast of Nigeria..
If you are living with an Igbo lady/woman and she is bearing you children, you have not married her properly just co-habitation, please; it is not just God you are sinning against, YOU MIGHT JUST BE in for something that would become complicated in future! IF THAT LADY/WOMAN dies living with you, you are in a VERY BIG TROUBLE.
Thought I should update those who might be less updated like me until I experienced it as a grown up now. Feel free to counter whatever was said if your own culture is different and you are Igbo or better still, share your knowledge about burials in Igbo Land. IGBO KWENU!! NIGERIA KWE ZU O NU!!!HIAAA!!!



CC: Nairaland

Oge ozo, che uche tupu imepe tred. Ife nu idere bu ife na nye ndi di ka Kestolove, ohere ikpari anyi

Phut:


Oge ozo, che uche tupu imepe tred. Ife nu idere bu ife na nye ndi di ka Kestolove, ohere ikpari anyi

Okay.

I can relate with some of this. When my father died, we went to his maternal home to 'reveal' d news officially alongside my uncles and some elders. Though they were already aware bt had to pretend as tradition demands.On getting there, d spokesman said dat he (my fada) was very ill and hospitalized and dat we dont know wat to do. Then d head of d family (maternal) asked 4 d name of d hospital and location. He was told it was close by. So he said we shuld bring 5k for flight(plane) so they can send someone 2 go c him immediately. My uncle told me d moni culd hav been more had d distance been farther. We gave d moni and someone took it, went outside and came back 2mins lata, then shaked his head and said he met my fada very sick in d hospital but b4 he could say a word, he gave up the ghost. Immediately everyone started lamenting. I almost laughed at d whole drama. After that, the maternal people then drafted a list of things to provide for them for d burial. One cow, 2 goats, kolanuts, crates of beer etc. It was like a marriage, even more than. They said d list was drafted according to d dead persons level in d society, dat my fada wus nt a poor man.But we negiotiated till d cow was removed and some others reduced. Aside this list, my kingdred also brought their list. We spent well over 600k for that burial. It was something else. Btw, i am 4rm imo state.

Soloblincus:
I can relate with some of this. When my father died, we went to his maternal home to 'reveal' d news officially alongside my uncles and some elders. Though they were already aware bt had to pretend as tradition demands.On getting there, d spokesman said dat he (my fada) was very ill and hospitalized and dat we dont know wat to do. Then d head of d family (maternal) asked 4 d name of d hospital and location. He was told it was close by. So he said we shuld bring 5k for flight(plane) so they can send someone 2 go c him immediately. My uncle told me d moni culd hav been more had d distance been farther. We gave d moni and someone took it, went outside and came back 2mins lata, then shaked his head and said he met my fada very sick in d hospital but b4 he could say a word, he gave up the ghost. Immediately everyone started lamenting. I almost laughed at d whole drama. After that, the maternal people then drafted a list of things to provide for them for d burial. One cow, 2 goats, kolanuts, crates of beer etc. It was like a marriage, even more than. They said d list was drafted according to d dead persons level in d society, dat my fada wus nt a poor man.But we negiotiated till d cow was removed and some others reduced. Aside this list, my kingdred also brought their list. We spent well over 600k for that burial. It was something else. Btw, i am 4rm imo state.

Wow! This is smth, these men should have the fear of God na

WOW!! Thanks for sharing your experience. Thank God you did not laugh at the drama. It is a very funny one that you are not permitted to let the cat out of the bag as it is. I think it is possible they have gone to visit and disclosed the true picture to each of these persons individually before that collective meeting you attended? I think so. Meanwhile, you did not buy cow Are you sure? Killing of COW I think is usually a MUST. 600K is okay, it could be higher. Ok.

Soloblincus:
I can relate with some of this. When my father died, we went to his maternal home to 'reveal' d news officially alongside my uncles and some elders. Though they were already aware bt had to pretend as tradition demands.On getting there, d spokesman said dat he (my fada) was very ill and hospitalized and dat we dont know wat to do. Then d head of d family (maternal) asked 4 d name of d hospital and location. He was told it was close by. So he said we shuld bring 5k for flight(plane) so they can send someone 2 go c him immediately. My uncle told me d moni culd hav been more had d distance been farther. We gave d moni and someone took it, went outside and came back 2mins lata, then shaked his head and said he met my fada very sick in d hospital but b4 he could say a word, he gave up the ghost. Immediately everyone started lamenting. I almost laughed at d whole drama. After that, the maternal people then drafted a list of things to provide for them for d burial. One cow, 2 goats, kolanuts, crates of beer etc. It was like a marriage, even more than. They said d list was drafted according to d dead persons level in d society, dat my fada wus nt a poor man.But we negiotiated till d cow was removed and some others reduced. Aside this list, my kingdred also brought their list. We spent well over 600k for that burial. It was something else. Btw, i am 4rm imo state.