AdeniyiA:

...and it's better left for LAWMA.

Seriously whenever I hear or see a marriage crashing, I ask myself, where is their first love demonstrated by these statements "I couldn't sleep, eat, or work without you by my side" , "I miss your presence every time" ,"you're my life" ,"my life is nothing without you"... etc, probably it wasn't actually a real love but lust/infatuation.

When ttoke makinwa was gushing about her hubby some years back i simply tweeted asking her to calm down.

Today im happy that she knows better that a conditional love is not love and i really love her courage to patch up even if it for whatever reasons.

"L.O.V.E - an overrated four letter word mostly use to deceive by the male youth to achieve LUST and by the female folks in exchange for money and material things" - AYOMI 2015

Vikky014:
more like tasting child birth before getting married right i shld get pregnant first to see how child birth will look like bfore i finally marry bros i no gree ooo. i love my life like this


wht is even so special about this girlfriend boyfriend thing self if not two people experimenting what married people do or am i missing something

seems you're focusing more on sex in the relationship than the relationship itself..

IzonOwei:
seems you're focusing more on sex in the relationship than the relationship itself..

MR i hv male friends not boyfriends.
check the dictionary meaning of a boyfriend and thank me later. Goodmorning

Toks2008:
?

You are giving me hope that we still have intelligent ladies on nairaland.

Thanks..am humbled

fulfillbill:


What i implied in my last was post was that you can't be sure you are ready for the maths test, unless you have a done a lot of exercises.

You running from heartbreak will make you even more heartbroken because you probably won't be able to handle it when it happens.

Its like learning to ride a bike without falling.

Relationship helps you discover somethings about yourself that you didn't know, and nobody will tell you...you only will discover it.

oh, sense of maturity. Thumbs up.

In olamide's voice, #LEAVETRASHFORLAWMA.
If God blesses you with the bone of your bones and the flesh of your fleshes, then you will realize there is True Love. Impatient and lustfulness in today's generation has diminished the true reason why love was created by God.
Thanks to God for giving me my own true love, pray you get yours too, Shalom.

Vikky014:
MR i hv male friends not boyfriends.
check the dictionary meaning of a boyfriend and thank me later. Goodmorning

and what do you mean..The guy said you had to at least engage in a relationship before marriage to know your tolerance limit and gave a perfect example of practicing before an exam...you went ahead to talk about getting pregnant ...so I asked why give that example...

HateU2:
Love is complicated. Yeah. We don't understand it ourselves. Love don't last. It's just for some months or some years. Some are lucky 2 find it while some will never find it. Some will only experience it just once in a life time. I prefer true friendship which is even scarce. So, just love yourself.

Aww sad but true.. But some love last oo

Until we reach a level where we start loving unconditionally(agape love-God's kinda love.) then we have not started loving.

Toks2008:


When ttoke makinwa was gushing about her hubby some years back i simply tweeted asking her to calm down.

Today im happy that she knows better that a conditional love is not love and i really love her courage to patch up even if it for whatever reasons.

it happened to A does not mean it happened to B and to C. Your line of thought amazes me. Love is not same as sex. There are loads enjoying their relationship. Majority, men and women who are committed to this same God you mentioned. If God can love unconditional, we can have that grace to love to.

HateU2:
Love develops from friendship. Build friendship first before thinking about love. If u marry ur frnd, ur life will never be the same. Frienship matters

I hate all this stupid taalks from kids;
What do u mean marry ur friend? The people that got married did anyone tell u they married their enemies?

Pls if u have no idea about d topic in discuss, just keep mute

IzonOwei:
and what do you mean..The guy said you had to at least engage in a relationship before marriage to know your tolerance limit and gave a perfect example of practicing before an exam...you went ahead to talk about getting pregnant ...so I asked why give that example...

What i mean is that u cant know how a marriage will be by engaging in premarital sex in the name of Love or relationship. my mummy said marriage is like a wrapped gift it is when you enter inside that you can unwrap it to determine what is inside...The only good thing one can do for him or herself is to relate with evry gender on equal bases and build your self character wise. getting pregnant and experiencing child birth before marriage is also a perfect example u know?

my home is the school where i learn how marriage and training kids looks like i dnt think i need another school bc if i relate with my future hubby the way my mum does my marriage will surely be heaven on earth.

Vikky014:
more like tasting child birth before getting married right i shld get pregnant first to see how child birth will look like bfore i finally marry bros i no gree ooo. i love my life like this


wht is even so special about this girlfriend boyfriend thing self if not two people experimenting what married people do or am i missing something

I guess you are still a teenager. There is a broad difference between sex and love. You can love without sex. You will be more heartbroken when a dude you had sex with leaves. It's best to avoid it as a female. My point is, you are simply looking for what to gain before you love and that is a happy marriage.in the event where you are not happy in that relationship, you get frustrated and that develops into real hatred even while in that marriage. Your love already is conditional. True love is never based on benefits. I have had relationships in the past where we never indulged in sex, yet we still didn't work. I was not looking for what to gain rather I was looking to make my partner a better person, supporting in every area. Now, that's true love.

Oahray:
Op, don't start arguing against something without a clear definition of what you think it means. Would help avoid strawman arguments.

Love means different things to different persons, and no one is born with love in his heart. If it can grow, it can die.

I think it's the overly romanticized pic of love that has got you confused. The unconditional love farce. You want to see Cinderella's happily ever after in reality, innit?

Well, think of love as a flowering plant. It's existence and survival is very much conditional. After being planted, it needs to be watered constantly or it withers instead of blossoming.

Your argument is that if it withers, it was never a plant. Does that even sound reasonable to you?

Perfect analogy...

HateU2:
Love is complicated. Yeah. We don't understand it ourselves. Love don't last. It's just for some months or some years. Some are lucky 2 find it while some will never find it. Some will only experience it just once in a life time. I prefer true friendship which is even scarce. So, just love yourself.

baby take a kiss for this comment! I think you were inspired to say this! It's just very true that not everyone will experience true love and that's why they are justified to say it doesn't exist.
Some people still die for love. Also when true love manifests, it's sometimes not reciprocal! It sometimes misses road as in given unto an undeserving and an ungrateful partner!
All said and done, it's true that the love from most mothers to their children are real,true and everlasting! Thumbs up for our mothers and mothers in the house ! You people are unique!!!

Raymondenyi:
I hate all this stupid taalks from kids;
What do u mean marry ur friend? The people that got married did anyone tell u they married their enemies?

Pls if u have no idea about d topic in discuss, just keep mute

See dis one
Must we have d same view about something?
Why do u sound so lyk dis
I have my view, u have urs. So y trying 2 shut me up?
Please understand what they called 'individual differences'
U get?

COOLCATS:
I guess you are still a teenager. There is a broad difference between sex and love. You can love without sex. You will be more heartbroken when a dude you had sex with leaves. It's best to avoid it as a female. My point is, you are simply looking for what to gain before you love and that is a happy marriage.in the event where you are not happy in that relationship, you get frustrated and that develops into real hatred even while in that marriage. Your love already is conditional. True love is never based on benefits. I have had relationships in the past where we never indulged in sex, yet we still didn't work. I was not looking for what to gain rather I was looking to make my partner a better person, supporting in every area. Now, that's true love.

wait a minute..Did i hear you say that am a teenager simple bc of my own principle and believei will take that as a compliment though.

Now did u actually read where i said i have male friends not boyfriend cant i support my male friends by making them a better personmust i isolate myslf with only one guy bfore i strt supportingjst check the dictionary meaning of boyfriend please

Oahray:
Op, don't start arguing against something without a clear definition of what you think it means. Would help avoid strawman arguments.

Love means different things to different persons, and no one is born with love in his heart. If it can grow, it can die.

I think it's the overly romanticized pic of love that has got you confused. The unconditional love farce. You want to see Cinderella's happily ever after in reality, innit?

Well, think of love as a flowering plant. It's existence and survival is very much conditional. After being planted, it needs to be watered constantly or it withers instead of blossoming.

Your argument is that if it withers, it was never a plant. Does that even sound reasonable to you?

Reasonably dissected. Need I say more? Good one Oahray

Vikky014:
What i mean is that u cant know how a marriage will be by engaging in premarital sex in the name of Love or relationship. my mummy said marriage is like a wrapped gift it is when you enter inside that you can unwrap it to determine what is inside...The only good thing one can do for him or herself is to relate with evry gender on equal bases and build your self character wise. getting pregnant and experiencing child birth before marriage is also a perfect example u know?

my home is the school where i learn how marriage and training kids looks like i dnt think i need another school bc if i relate with my future hubby the way my mum does my marriage will surely be heaven on earth.

Good. Your point is, don't get into a relationship until you are ready for marriage. But pls don't love a man or tell him you love him because you want him to marry you. I guess you love your " male friends ". I mean you can go the extra mile to make them happy even as they are friends on the plain level when you have nothing to benefit. This is the only way you can tell if you have love in you.

This is actually true but most pple are blinded by lust or infatuation yet they called it love.... that is not to say love does not exist though.

U Cant tell me d only luv dats geniue is d luv of GOD to man..capital wrong!

Den Wat type of luv a mother av to her daugther or a father av to his son?let even put couples aside nw
Rea Luv Exist My dear,nt even rare, d fact remain dat u pratice wat u re teachin hr!

U urself luv becuz of sumtyn u gt in return.
If i may ask y did u luv ur spouse,u will tell me cuz she is dat cuz she is dix..dats nt luv!u luv cuz u wanna luv,u luv cuz ur spouse worth luvin(even God imself term to turn back at sinner)u av no excuses for luvin wen u av,den u re missin it..dats nt luv,it is jst a feelin.

peace#

COOLCATS:
Good. Your point is, don't get into a relationship until you are ready for marriage. But pls don't love a man or tell him you love him because you want him to marry you. I guess you love your " male friends ". I mean you can go the extra mile to make them happy even as they are friends on the plain level when you have nothing to benefit. This is the only way you can tell if you have love in you.

Exactly my point...Thanks for the advice

Toks2008:


It is a second name for trash

don't and stop using your standards, experiences, line of thought, opinions to make a general assumption. You assume what it has or was to you and a few is to everyone. There is lust and infatuation confused as love, not that True love does not exist. If it does not , The God you mentioned would not have preached it.

OP, SORRY U FOUND URSELF ON THE WRONG SIDE OF LOVE.
NOT SAME FOR EVERYBODY.
AS U LAY UR BED SO SHALL U LIE!

Vikky014:
What i mean is that u cant know how a marriage will be by engaging in premarital sex in the name of Love or relationship. my mummy said marriage is like a wrapped gift it is when you enter inside that you can unwrap it to determine what is inside...The only good thing one can do for him or herself is to relate with evry gender on equal bases and build your self character wise. getting pregnant and experiencing child birth before marriage is also a perfect example u know?

my home is the school where i learn how marriage and training kids looks like i dnt think i need another school bc if i relate with my future hubby the way my mum does my marriage will surely be heaven on earth.

I am not a supporter of sex before marriage actually..and your pregnancy analogy might not really hold up because not everybody marry to give birth and like I stated I am no supporter of sex before marriage..but relationship...yes I am in support..how in the world do you get to know the real character of a man you intend to marry..is it just by being casual freinds with him without emotions...

Oahray:
Op, don't start arguing against something without a clear definition of what you think it means. Would help avoid strawman arguments.

Love means different things to different persons, and no one is born with love in his heart. If it can grow, it can die.

I think it's the overly romanticized pic of love that has got you confused. The unconditional love farce. You want to see Cinderella's happily ever after in reality, innit?

Well, think of love as a flowering plant. It's existence and survival is very much conditional. After being planted, it needs to be watered constantly or it withers instead of blossoming.

Your argument is that if it withers, it was never a plant. Does that even sound reasonable to you?

Love can't be equated with flower, like you said it means different thing to different people but true love is as straight as it can be not those illusions or different thoughts of man of how it should be. I agree with you that it has to be nurtured. Love isn't the problem it's us humans who are the problem.
.

Toks2008:


See jamb question on top wettin i write out of my observation...infact when i wrote this i was so blank about me.

Nna e be like say women have a way of thinking that will forever be a mystery..ok since u dey ask me this jamb question,my answer is yes im so so hapily married to an angel with 2 lovely kids..how about that?

so does that change the fact that love is a hyped illusion?

I ask jamb question but u give marking schemes lol You no love her be that. I asked that cos I remember reading an epistle like this about ur bitter experience with an ex or so. I remember quoting u bak then

ronald4lif:
Too much sense in the write up. Makes a lotta sense. I've always affirmed that there's no such thing as true love in amorous relationship. It's just a temporal feeling which exist for as long as the other person dances to our rhythm . The earlier everyone realises this and flow with the tides like you said the better.

For everyone we claim to love wholeheartedly there's a reason behind it and once that reason evanesces then the love too dissipates like vapour. If true love existed there won't be any particular reason to love or get attracted to someone, it will just burgeon without a reason and maturate in form of a latency. There's no such thing as true love, it's all about vested interest.

Let's not be unrealistic here. If u say there wouldn't be any reason to love or get attracted to someone, why then does a person not fall in love with a hundred ppl at a time? Why's it just one person at a time? It's simply because there was sth in the other person that spurred the attraction.


There' s most definitely got to be a reason. It just might not be concrete.. The ppl in love may not realize why they fell for that one person.. they just love. But the fact remains that something or certain things brewed the love.



@the bolded. What do u mean by that exactly?

henryhemon:


Love can't be equated with flower, like you said it means different thing to different people but true love is as straight as it can be not those illusions or different thoughts of man of how it should be. I agree with you that it has to be nurtured. Love isn't the problem it's us humans who are the problem.
.

an analogy is not a mathematical equation. I was illustrating, not equating.

IzonOwei:
I am not a supporter of sex before marriage actually..and your pregnancy analogy might not really hold up because not everybody marry to give birth and like I stated I am no supporter of sex before marriage..but relationship...yes I am in support..how in the world do you get to know the real character of a man you intend to marry..is it just by being casual freinds with him without emotions...

LOL. do you only show emotion to a particular girl and sideline othersthen when the girl breaks up with you u move on to the next Life is sweet when you dont have preferential treatment. i so much believe in LOVE your neighbour as yourself please what do you mean by casual friends bc to me a casual friend can be someone i travelled with from the same bus or someone i met in a seminar.. so explain

Oahray:
Op, don't start arguing against something without a clear definition of what you think it means. Would help


Your argument is that if it withers, it was never a plant. Does that even sound reasonable to you?

Op has forgotten that even Jesus died for love does that make it hyped?