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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Literature / The Tryst (638 Views)
The Tryst by Nobody: 3:57pm On Jan 10, 2016 |
A beam of moonlight shines through leaves and brings illumination to the clearing, flowing through leaves and branches to settle on the forest floor. The smell of freshly upturned soil and slowly rotting leaves pervade the air. Soft birdcalls are made and heard. There’s a slight dampness in the rainforest air. There’s a soft rustling. A pretty young lady darts into the clearing and bends to check the forest floor in one fluid graceful motion. She mutters something softly to herself, checks her immediate surroundings. Then her eyes light up with recognition and she scampers off, there one moment, gone the next. Not too far away she gets to a broad oak burnt halfway, after being struck by lightening. But its not the oak tree that holds her attention. No she’s fascinated by something else. Shadows part to reveal their secret, a young man pacing furiously under the moonlight. She stands there for a while, shyly twirling her hair around a finger. His pacing brings him in her direction. He freezes. And then his face breaks into a rapturous smile. Read the rest at www.laolusblog. 1 Like
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Re: The Tryst by RemenZack(f): 9:13pm On Jan 15, 2016 |
You should post the full version of your Post here on Nairaland instead. Great job and do follow back please. |
Re: The Tryst by Nobody: 12:55am On Jan 16, 2016 |
Your English is great. 'Lightning' is the spelling you want, not 'lightening' (to make lighter.) A few words were past tense though, not present. It's more telling than showing, though. Show what she feels, thinks. Is she scared or happy, heart pounding? |
Re: The Tryst by Nobody: 1:07pm On Jan 16, 2016 |
reinadefuego: Thank you very much for the corrections. I admit, I have always confused lightning and lightening. Lol. I'm not perfect. I'll try to show in my next story ma'am. if it pleases you. |
Re: The Tryst by Nobody: 1:11pm On Jan 16, 2016 |
RemenZack: I just saw your message. Already following back. I post half the stories here on Nairaland to get people to visit the blog. There, they can read as much as they want to. Think of it as a fisherman's lure. *wink* 2 Likes |
Re: The Tryst by Nobody: 2:18pm On Jan 16, 2016 |
No one is perfect, unless you're a computer. I always forget to proofread my own work, haha, so it usually takes four re-reads before it's even cleaned up. Aw, don't call me ma'am, hehe, I'm not very old. It's all about balance, and mainly having fun. 1 Like |
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