demsid:
I tire o my sister, I no know say husbands Dey ugly o. Na small girls way never get sense of life Dey follow fine boys. Cos men no dey ugly, na pocket n character b d koko.

gbam. Well said

PunterTim:
Maybe Treating Her Like A Princess Is Not Enough For Her!
Maybe She Wants The Good Looks Too!
Please Go To Bed,I'm Too Weak To Argue With Kids.

Okay, so will divorce settle her or distabilise her? I guess you do not really know what a divorce can do to a woman, especially a woman divorcing a man who she can attest to his love for her. Please divorce is not an option in a case like this. This woman has no problem with her husband, she is just a self-centred person, nothing more than that. Self centredness is a self destructive element. It leads to fault finding and discontentment. The cure is simple: LEARN TO LOVE!



I REST MY CASE!
THANK YOU!

kallmemrB:
sorry fot What ?

i feel so bad for the Husband....the most hurtful feeling in this life is to feel under appreciated....

i know we guys always complain of ladies not-so-pretty but calling a guy ugly is annoying cos this same guy you dont wanna appreciate has over 100 ladies out there wishing they could have a husband as caring as ur man..

am 100% percent sure you are not as pretty as Heidi Klum,She married Seal for years with kids... so whats ur Prob

you see lots of ladies in church praying for a Good and caring husband even if he looks like Gorrila...you have a Good and caring husband but u aint satisfy....


i pity you alot...in 10yrs time when that ur beauty is gone ,am sure by then you will be praying he doesnt leave you cos no matter how many make up u use that beauty of yours will surely fade away...

Learn to love and appreciate ur partner....Him loving you and caring for you should be more important to u than his looks...

2face and Flavor are hansome dudes but their babymamas holds pillows to sleep at night..

Learn to Love him more before someone that will appreciate him better will come along


P.S dont think he doesnt know that you dont admire him

Very correct,so correct! I like this..

scaredy:
I have been married for a year now to a man that is very unattractive. I married him for two reasons

1. My younger ones and friends were all married and I was desperate at 32.
2. He treats me well

He's a good husby but I sometimes get ashamed walking with him because he's very ugly. I'm a pretty girl and when we are in public he's all over me wanting people to know we are together and I see the looks they give us.

I don't mind sleeping with this man and being his wife, I just want the feeling of shame to stop.I know some men don't treat their wife well and I feel lucky mine own does that.

You can start by first being ashamed of yourself for being a despicable human, who married someone they see as "very ugly."

Proceed by being further ashamed of yourself for being a despicable human, who says of her husband "I don't mind sleeping with this man."

When you reconcile yourself with these facts, and the fact that he should be the one ashamed of you based on these, perhaps your shame will dissipate.

scaredy:
I have been married for a year now to a man that is very unattractive. I married him for two reasons

1. My younger ones and friends were all married and I was desperate at 32.
2. He treats me well

He's a good husby but I sometimes get ashamed walking with him because he's very ugly. I'm a pretty girl and when we are in public he's all over me wanting people to know we are together and I see the looks they give us.

I don't mind sleeping with this man and being his wife, I just want the feeling of shame to stop.I know some men don't treat their wife well and I feel lucky mine own does that.

Lady I love ur sincerity. It's a mistake u made under pressure. I know of a girl my guy loved.The only mistake he did was to pln marriage in 2016.he loved he dearly and everyone saw a bissful relationship for 2yrs 07030382640ut she met a guy day promise her marriage in 2 months without dating and she jumped at the offer without informing her guy.Did introduction at his back. We ound out d guy is very ugly and black. He realised d only way to enter d babe was marriage withoit dating her and she fell for d plan.to marry in 2 months.

I ask her y she did such she say she know she did not love d guy but she wanted marriage in 2015 badly.the u know most pretty babes are really gullible cos everybody believes d guy used jazz on her cos he was a total reject.

The irony is dat d guy did intro to secure her but dmarriage is still in 2016 just like watt my guy promised and guys parents are asking to c d babe. She is not proud of d guy looks and gossip is every were already making her cry always y she yield to pressure just to marry cos she say age not on her side at 32.

D good news is d guy just go a job with Total with hefty package which he planed to enjoy with his girl but she jump ship for d supid reason ever.She has been crying ever since and is ashamed to go back to him.

Point her is cos u r man is ugly he knows it and is forcing himself to make u happy dats not mutual dats y u feel bad.

Don't be deceived cute guys are caring it takes patience to meet and get the best from dem.

Never yield to pressure to marry due to age or Wat people will say.

The people dat pressure u 2 marry will mock u and u will lose self esteem.

Ur kids will most likely be ugly and bear shame 2 and lose sel esteem.

Don't be deceived looks matter u need someone u proud off.

I wish u good luck as u bear this through life is really long o bear such.

If u cant cope with the shame divorce him is Ur life. U have e only one life to live.

kallmemrB:
sorry fot What ?

i feel so bad for the Husband....the most hurtful feeling in this life is to feel under appreciated....

i know we guys always complain of ladies not-so-pretty but calling a guy ugly is annoying cos this same guy you dont wanna appreciate has over 100 ladies out there wishing they could have a husband as caring as ur man..

am 100% percent sure you are not as pretty as Heidi Klum,She married Seal for years with kids... so whats ur Prob

you see lots of ladies in church praying for a Good and caring husband even if he looks like Gorrila...you have a Good and caring husband but u aint satisfy....


i pity you alot...in 10yrs time when that ur beauty is gone ,am sure by then you will be praying he doesnt leave you cos no matter how many make up u use that beauty of yours will surely fade away...

Learn to love and appreciate ur partner....Him loving you and caring for you should be more important to u than his looks...

2face and Flavor are hansome dudes but their babymamas holds pillows to sleep at night..

Learn to Love him more before someone that will appreciate him better will come along


P.S dont think he doesnt know that you dont admire him

hmmm, the last part so true! I was actually waiting to hear it.

scaredy:
I have been married for a year now to a man that is very unattractive. I married him for two reasons

1. My younger ones and friends were all married and I was desperate at 32.
2. He treats me well

He's a good husby but I sometimes get ashamed walking with him because he's very ugly. I'm a pretty girl and when we are in public he's all over me wanting people to know we are together and I see the looks they give us.

I don't mind sleeping with this man and being his wife, I just want the feeling of shame to stop.I know some men don't treat their wife well and I feel lucky mine own does that.

My dear Madam uя missing the whole thing, the beauty of a man is not his physical looks, but his heart.... Learn to look @ his heart not his physical looks. Thank God you love him. May God help you

[size=38pt]OP YOU ARE STU.PID.

ITS REALLY DISGUSTING OF YOU TO CALL YOUR HUSBAND UGLY. EVERY RESP3CTFUL WIFE THINKS HER HUSBAND IS THE BEST JN THE WORLD. BUT YOU ARE A PIECE OF SHI.T.


DO ONE THING. NEXT TIME YOU ARE IN PUBLIC CALL ME AND HOLD MY HANDS. LET YOUR HUSBAMD FOLLOW BEHIND US LIKE A DOG.[/size]

Buy him a mask and tell him it's the latest fashion

I leave you with this Janet Jackson's song .......
Its always seems to be ,you don't know what have till its lost....... as for you, that thing you called beauty is hollowness........



And for your questions,







Just commit suicide and end the shame

Op, don't go for looks, they can deceive. Go for someone who makes you smile cos it takes a smile to make a dark day seem bright. If you think your husband is ugly, ask Iara oshiomhole, No one is perfect!

scaredy:
Thaxs for the advise and kind words.I was expecting a bashing but was ready to take it so long as someone will advise me too. Its not as if I dnt love my husband its hard to not love him , but I want the shame to go. I feel the private is more important. He carries me like a princess that's why I want to give him the best too and I want to start with not being ashamed.

Be the best you are for your hubby cos many ladies are out there praying to have him as their husband. Be wise and don't expose your family life to the public cos I'm married. Always be comfortable each time you're with him.

You are the one obviously mis-interpreting people's looks. These are innocent looks probably filled with admiration for you two.

I repeat, no one, no sensible human being on earth, diss married folks. It's all in your head.

People still appreciate the fold of oshomhole and iara let alone Una.

@ OP

Are you sure that you are not Lara Oshiomole?

As though you're more beautiful than Lara (oshiomole's wife)

scaredy:
I have been married for a year now to a man that is very unattractive. I married him for two reasons

1. My younger ones and friends were all married and I was desperate at 32.
2. He treats me well

He's a good husby but I sometimes get ashamed walking with him because he's very ugly. I'm a pretty girl and when we are in public he's all over me wanting people to know we are together and I see the looks they give us.

I don't mind sleeping with this man and being his wife, I just want the feeling of shame to stop.I know some men don't treat their wife well and I feel lucky mine own does that.

He did not just become ugly, you knew it pre marriage, so live with it.
Would you rather marry a handsome man, and he maltreats you?
What he lacks in beauty, he makes up in other areas.
NB: Let's see a picture

LewsTherin:
I'm not going to go into what this post says about you as my therapist has asked me to make this week my happy week. That is a matter for another day. For many other days actually.

We are looking for a solution here. Shame is a function of what is important to a person. It is a function of a person's values. So an adjustment in your values, in your outlook can help with that. You canteach yourself to judge a person's worth by what he does. For example, when you see any man immediately ask yourself what sort of a family man he is. Since your husband seems to be a great guy, his behaviours will begin to mean more to you over time than his looks.

You could also try to make him appear the best possible. For a man to be judged ugly by everyone, he must be stupendously ugly! Cos no matter how unpretty a man looks, if he dresses excellently with great accessories, few people look at his ...err looks. So spend time tushing him up every morning. Select great clothes and combinations for him in the mornings. Lovingly help him prepare for the day. Cordinate your outfits with his. One, he will look better and less ugly and two, you will grow to love him more.

But then if you are shallow enough to have gotten married out of desperation at THIRTY TWO for crying out loud, and are so concerned about what OTHER PEOPLE say that you are ashamed of a man you KNOW to be a good husband, then I don't know if this will help you.

There I went and did it again. My therapist will have a field day with me tomorrow. Sigh.

@bold: so on point

Happy new year

scaredy:
I have been married for a year now to a man that is very unattractive. I married him for two reasons

1. My younger ones and friends were all married and I was desperate at 32.
2. He treats me well

He's a good husby but I sometimes get ashamed walking with him because he's very ugly. I'm a pretty girl and when we are in public he's all over me wanting people to know we are together and I see the looks they give us.

I don't mind sleeping with this man and being his wife, I just want the feeling of shame to stop.I know some men don't treat their wife well and I feel lucky mine own does that.

op, i want to know if i get your psychology correctly. PLEASE reply this post and answer the questions i am going to ask as honest as possible. I trust you will comply with me because you come off as someone who is honest and i respect you for that, which is also the reason i am taking interest in your story at all.

Will i be right if i guess you've always known you are beautiful, and that you deserve someone EQUALLY good-looking?

Will i be right if i guess that your definition of "going for less" among other things, include taking someone not as good looking and that you've ALWAYS been conscious of this even before you met this man and he proposed to you and you both started courting?

Will i be right if i say that you do not have the "good looks" criteria for selfish reasons; maybe you feel you can only be loyal or find it easier to be loyal to a man really attractive?

If your answers are yes, then what i think is happening with you is not very much what other people think, but your pre-concieved notion about your husband's looks and also what you've always thought is good for you.

I can assure you that what you think other people are thinking when they look at you walking together, which makes you feel uncomfortable, is actually a mirror of your insecurities about his looks and not what those people are ACTUALLY thinking.

Since you've been desperate before and are still desperate now, let me use this example, which all desperate people can relate to, to further explain my point:

sit down and think back to when you were not married and still deperate about your not being married. Think back to those times when people would ask you questions like: "so when are you getting married"? Or a similar question. You will discover that sometimes, on hearing such questions, you will feel some negative emotions whelling up in you and at that time, being in that kind of discussion would become difficult for you and you immediately begin to think that the one asking you that question is putting pressure on you.

There are other times when you hear those questions, you don't feel negative emotions whelling in you; instead, you feel so free and comfortable talking about your singleness and your inability to find a man and at that time; you don't feel someone is trying to mock you for being single and putting pressure on you to get married.

The question now is...why the two separate reactions to exactly the same question? If you sit down to think and find the answer yourself, you will discover that the times you felt bad and got defensive when asked such questions by those who were only trying to strike an honest conversation, were times when prior to them asking you that question, you were already feeling down about your single state, while the times you did not have to get defensive at such question, were the times you were so free and light-hearted that you were not bothered about your singleness at the time.

So you can see that what you read on people's faces is actually your own insecurities. You already felt insecure about the man's appearance and that's why you read it in the face of everyone who looks at you two even though, like someone said, they could be admiring you two for your confidence to be wiyth each other. Your husband's confidence for going for a lady, who may be described to be above his level; and your confidence for being with a man who on a good day, doesn't stand the chance of dating you. They may be wishing to have your kind of confidence.

The solution is available but not going to be easy for you since you don't do mysticism. It involves perception/though replacement.

Let the thoughts of the awesome person that your husband is and how lucky you are to have him, fill your mind; get drowned in it and let it become your CONSCIOUSNESS. This is what thought replacement is all about. Most times, people do it through meditation and auto suggestion (what pst. Chris and christ embassy members call confessions). When you can do this, then you are not going to read what you currently read on people's faces anymore; an even when they actually mean your fears, you wouldn't be bothered.

Like someone said, he def knows you don't appreciate him, he knows it. Don't kid yourself! I think he's been hopeful things would change.

Madam no man Infact nobody is ugly. Na money they no get. Just look at Jay z. That guys mouth is uncommon. Mouth wey get double layer. It can swallow my face. Infact his whole face get as e be. Imagine if na naija in grow. Just look at him now, married to beyonce. Na packaging sure pass. Look at your husband very well and see what u can do to change his looks. Maybe he needs to add more weight. Or keep a little beards or mustache. Or keep his hair full a bit. You can go as far as toning him a bit. Tell him to wear a different kind of clothes. Make in dey stay under a.c most of the time so in fit fresh.

MrBLING:
@ OP

Are you sure that you are not Lara Oshiomole?

just why exactly did it strike you that way? Lol. Do you have a sixth sense? The age is close. She is 35 last year. This lady claims she is 32 and now 33. Maybe she took two years from it so as to make the whole thing distant from her.

We also know Oshiomole flaunts his wife to the public. After they got married, the man started attending more public functions with his wife the way he never did with his late wife.

These were what struck my mind when i saw your post.

It is still very possible that the op and Iara are actually two different people.

scaredy:
I have been married for a year now to a man that is very unattractive. I married him for two reasons

1. My younger ones and friends were all married and I was desperate at 32.
2. He treats me well

He's a good husby but I sometimes get ashamed walking with him because he's very ugly. I'm a pretty girl and when we are in public he's all over me wanting people to know we are together and I see the looks they give us.

I don't mind sleeping with this man and being his wife, I just want the feeling of shame to stop.I know some men don't treat their wife well and I feel lucky mine own does that.

My dear, there is one thing I ve come to see in life, humans are far too unappreciative. If that same man with his looks and all that ugliness you think u see was a movie or music star or some sort of a famous name I am sure u would have been looking at him differently. Infact you would have thought he was the most handsome man on earth & the best thing since sliced bread.
Humans are stars because we give them the adoration. Adore ur man and you'll come to love him. You have no choice if u want to keep or marriage but to adore him and soon you will see a star in him. Praise him in little things and with time u'll love the man (star) u make out of him.
We all beautiful in our own way if u open ur heart to notice it in others. Life is too short to complain, & be unappreciative about the things in our life. When u grow old don't have to regret that u didn't love as much u should. Its your life make it rosy for yourself and let the world die to be in it.

The real stars in our life are those close to us. @JuniorPortland

OBJ and Oshobaba fine? They are still married to beautiful women. Stop troubling yourself and besides, beauty is in the heart and not the outward looks. As for me your husband is VERY beautiful since he treats you well. He is pleased having you as his wife, so, you should also feel the same

scaredy:
I have been married for a year now to a man that is very unattractive. I married him for two reasons

1. My younger ones and friends were all married and I was desperate at 32.
2. He treats me well

He's a good husby but I sometimes get ashamed walking with him because he's very ugly. I'm a pretty girl and when we are in public he's all over me wanting people to know we are together and I see the looks they give us.

I don't mind sleeping with this man and being his wife, I just want the feeling of shame to stop.I know some men don't treat their wife well and I feel lucky mine own does that.

first marriage should not be because of somethings ur partner do or wot u re goin tru, it should be because u luv and understand him/her and u are ready 2 go lifetime.
Another reason u should not be ashamed is if u had married a handsome dude and along d line in ur marriage he has his face battered, there is every tendency u would divorce him which won't be good 4 ur unborn children. #inmyopinion

@OP,u r not serious.So what about Oshomole and d wife.Very ugly,old and short man,yet he married such a very young queen.Meanwhile hope ur man is good in bed,and dat he has big,strong and reliable dic.k.

.

op

ki ni ka wa se bayi?

are you looking for a husband on nairaland?

good luck!

Is he a broke man

Does he have money

Men's beauty is in their pockets,

If he lacks money you should have a valid reason to be concerned

PunterTim:
Don't You Think You're Overacting Here And Being Unrealistic About This!.
This Is About Her And What She Wants.Didn't Want To Advise This But Now I Must:
Think You Should Sit Down With Him And Carefully State Your Reasons To Divorce Him!

Please what exactly are you advising the lady to divorce for ? I bet you would advocate divorce even if the man as measles. Please your advice is extremely shallow n destructive. Please take caution before making such suggestion next time just in case that person values your opinion.

@op madam, it was women like u that married aki or paw, sum1 married I go die! beauty's in the eyes o4 d beholder, love oga up tushe him up to ur taste.

Recipe for cheating

kallmemrB:
sorry fot What ?

i feel so bad for the Husband....the most hurtful feeling in this life is to feel under appreciated....

i know we guys always complain of ladies not-so-pretty but calling a guy ugly is annoying cos this same guy you dont wanna appreciate has over 100 ladies out there wishing they could have a husband as caring as ur man..

am 100% percent sure you are not as pretty as Heidi Klum,She married Seal for years with kids... so whats ur Prob

you see lots of ladies in church praying for a Good and caring husband even if he looks like Gorrila...you have a Good and caring husband but u aint satisfy....


i pity you alot...in 10yrs time when that ur beauty is gone ,am sure by then you will be praying he doesnt leave you cos no matter how many make up u use that beauty of yours will surely fade away...

Learn to love and appreciate ur partner....Him loving you and caring for you should be more important to u than his looks...

2face and Flavor are hansome dudes but their babymamas holds pillows to sleep at night..

Learn to Love him more before someone that will appreciate him better will come along


P.S dont think he doesnt know that you dont admire him

OP, you are busted! Your husband is on Nairaland!!!!

scaredy:
Thaxs for the advise and kind words.I was expecting a bashing but was ready to take it so long as someone will advise me too. Its not as if I dnt love my husband its hard to not love him , but I want the shame to go. I feel the private is more important. He carries me like a princess that's why I want to give him the best too and I want to start with not being ashamed.

since he treats u well,treat him well too by over looking his ugliness and I'm very sure he's rich too,the third reason u refuse to mention......,do something about his looks,lso far he's good in bed,u have nothing to bother,just Behind him up.any time the shame comes up,just tell your self his pocket is beautiful and attractive.