kelechiodo:
Ehn, step daughter needs dad reassurance of his constant love

Does this have to be done under the sheets lol

D girl nh winchh

TnkGod she's ur hubby's dauta nd nt d oda way round..so dt ur husbnd wunt strt thinkin abt how sexy she is. Leav ha alone, nh her papa aous

Miami11:


We are not talking a bout a two year old still using pamper learning to use a potty, we are talking of a pre teenager someone with sizable boobs, menses, hips curling down in bed with step mum and dad while other younger kids of the house five years and below have already been taught boundaries, and that is using their own bed,

When do you expect this 14 year old to learn, when she is getting married, at 14 I was taking care of my siblings even teaching them not to jump on my parents bed.

That girl should be taught right there and then, even by step mum, to learn boundaries, that behavior is not normal whether she sees dad once a year or once in ten years.

I would lay this boundaries on her whether she is my real daughter, step daughter, sister or anyone

Ok thats for u but make her ur frnd let her b able to trust u cos if she does she wud listen to u
Advise her a 14yrs old shdnt b hard to handle just let her b u can b her second mum

D way u sound its like u dont like her u just accepted her cos she is ur husband's daughter

Dont marry a man who u cant tolerate his kids !

U will av a problem there

Just let dat girl feel at hme please op

U not even considering her heart

Mehn m too soft i myt nt b hard like u sha

sickstars:


Ok thats for u but make her ur frnd let her b able to trust u cos if she does she wud listen to u
Advise her a 14yrs old shdnt b hard to handle just let her b u can b her second mum

D way u sound its like u dont like her u just accepted her cos she is ur husband's daughter

Dont marry a man who u cant tolerate his kids !

U will av a problem there

Just let dat girl feel at hme please op

U not even considering her heart

Mehn m too soft i myt nt b hard like u sha

You are high on some cheap smoke charlatan, laying boundaries on a kid does not mean you dislike them,

it takes a community to raise a kid, if you see a wayward kid like that grown woman trying to squeeze on her parents bed, you would tell her
that is now how things are done.

I don't know what the real mom is teaching this girl, but a decent human being at this age knows the difference between her parents and her.

At 14 I never slept with my parents, never did this evil thought even cross my mind, why should I do it at my step mothers house, if Iam this step mom I will call her to order.

Miami11:


You are high on some cheap smoke charlatan, laying boundaries on a kid does not mean you dislike them,

it takes a community to raise a kid, if you see a wayward kid like that grown woman trying to squeeze on her parents bed, you would tell her
that is now how things are done.

I don't know what the real mom is teaching this girl, but a decent human being at this age knows the difference between her parents and her.

At 14 I never slept with my parents, never did this evil thought even cross my mind, why should I do it at my step mothers house, if Iam this step mom I will call her to order.

dis u just call me names?

Wat do u tink of a 14 yr old

For cryin out loud dis girl doesnt av a stable hme like ur kids!

stop dis nonsense u tinkin

Dont b wicked nd heartless let her feel at hme

M scared of step mums like u

God av mercy may i not come across a step mum like u

A child u meant to befriend care for cherish let her even miss u nd her dad wen she is away u now angry cos of ordinary bed

If u and ur husband wana do d sex thing let her sleep deep u both go to d guest room abi is sex in marriage entitled to only d matrimonial bed?

Wat if u go on vacation aint u gona do it any way any ow

d innocent girl needs her fada's love u d one tinkin u in a
Competition with dat child to get ur husband's love and attention!

If i was d girl i will tell u aunty mrs step mum if its my fada's love u want come nd take it

By the way u wana compare ur sef at age 14 living under d same roof with ur parents

To a 14 yr old girl who is givin limited time to stay with her parents

op av d fear of God at heart fear God!

SMH.

@ you sickstar

cococandy:
SMH.

@ you sickstar

Wat did i do

All am sayin is she sleeping on d bed is but for a while

Wen puberty fully sets in she hersef wud b hiding from her dad

Am an educationist i av learnt nd studied and done research on children early childhood all d stages in a child's life nd d psychological effects

I kno wat am saying professionally

cococandy:
SMH.

@ you sickstar

Ain't she a knuckle head?

Miami11:




You sound like an idiot, at least learn to complete sentences, what is " u tinking, b wicked nd heartless, fada's house, d girl" lol didn't you get the privilege to enjoy free education when it was available, are you 14 too.

You are her forming holier than though with all reality blown out of the window, I don't have time to waste going in circles with a clown, bye Felicia gerrrrhea!!

M nt forming holier do wat pleases u

If u tink m actin uo fine

M tryin to make u understand u dont av to take it too crios like dis

first she is a girl a young girl her fadas's daughter

If it were to b a woman i can let all hell loose bt a child?

For wat na

Miami11:




You sound like an idiot, at least learn to complete sentences, what is " u tinking, b wicked nd heartless, fada's house, d girl" lol didn't you get the privilege to enjoy free education when it was available, are you 14 too.

You are her forming holier than though with all reality blown out of the window, I don't have time to waste going in circles with a clown, bye Felicia gerrrrhea!!

I have done wat u sayin d 14 yrs old girl is doin anytime m scared i sleep inbtw my parents stoped at age 16 so i can judge d girl if it happens to me i will take it as karma

Bt to b fair it doesnt warrant anger

why nt try dis wen she sleeps deep she wakes up eveey morning to find u nd ur hubby in d guest room with time she wud get tired nd stop dis


All dis harsh harsh training africans gives to their kids dey fear me

At 14 puberty has fully set in.
She's a full blown teenager.
Teenage starts at thirTEEN, ends at nineTEEN.

Lol. 'Professionally' you're not the only one who has studied developmental psychology.
And one thing I know in psychology is that we are taught not no enable undesirable behavior.

@14 she's a child but she's also aware of differences between genders, and knows that privacy and sexual activity between couples is a norm (except she's slow).
Perchance she doesn't know, now is the time for her to learn.
And there's no better way to teach her than firmly walking her back to her room when she behaves that way.

All these diplomatic consult-the-oracle-before-you-talk methods are frankly B.S

A parent or step-parent is in a position of authority over an underage child. So it should be easy to tell her this is wrong or right without having to first summon village meeting of elders and walk on tiptoe around the topic as if offending her will end the world.



N.B it's so hard to read your posts with the half words and abbreviations.

sickstars:

Wat did i do

All am sayin is she sleeping on d bed is but for a while

Wen puberty fully sets in she hersef wud b hiding from her dad

Am an educationist i av learnt nd studied and done research on children early childhood all d stages in a child's life nd d psychological effects

I kno wat am saying professionally

cococandy:
At 14 puberty has fully set in.
She's a full blown teenager.
Teenage starts at thirTEEN, ends at eighTEEN.

Lol. 'Professionally' you're not the only one who has studied developmental psychology.
And one thing I know in psychology is that we are taught not no enable undesirable behavior.

@14 she's a child but she's also aware of differences between genders, and knows that privacy and sexual activity between couples is a norm (except she's slow).
Perchance she doesn't know, now is the time for her to learn.
And there's no better way to teach her than firmly walking her back to her room when she behaves that way.

All these diplomatic consult-the-oracle-before-you-talk methods are frankly B.S

A parent or step-parent is in a position of authority over an underage child. So it should be easy to tell her this is wrong or right without having to first summon village meeting of elders and walk on tiptoe around the topic as if offending her will end the world.



N.B it's so hard to read your posts with the half words and abbreviations.

av learnt i just said my own point of view

Well now i see its bad i hope op learns from ur write up

Just dat me am an advocate of a free cheerful child with discipline nd i considered her broken home parent seperated i also considered she is with her dad dats all

Av taken note

Olasco93:
Just be very careful. As little as this seems, it can destroy or promote your marriage. Even if she is acting 'funny', try to endure because some things happen for reasons. I know it's getting you upset, but you need to act maturedly as i think you are. 'Pretend' you don't even care about it even though you really do and "be very wise and sensible" towards her and your husband.
Out of 100 people that will see or hear this from you, i bet you, 99 of them will advice you to take a drastic (negative) step, mostly the male folks.
This may just be the TEST that will Promote or Demote you/your Status and Dignity in your Husband's Heart!
Above all, Win her completely with Love by expressing unfeigned towards her and her dad because love conquers all and nobody resist the thing call love, not even Lucifer!

respect

sickstars:


Ok thats for u but make her ur frnd let her b able to trust u cos if she does she wud listen to u
Advise her a 14yrs old shdnt b hard to handle just let her b u can b her second mum

D way u sound its like u dont like her u just accepted her cos she is ur husband's daughter

Dont marry a man who u cant tolerate his kids !

U will av a problem there

Just let dat girl feel at hme please op

U not even considering her heart

Mehn m too soft i myt nt b hard like u sha

The emboldened is one of the major reason for my earlier post. Just imagine the angery undertone her post and those of others around here and which is why I said if it were her own child it would be a different story. Hiding under the pretense that she is 14 year old ish. She does not like the girl in question and it's very obvious for discerning mind. It's very obvious from the tone of her post.

I know a certain nairalander who adores her stepson such that you would wonder if she was the real mother. I won't be surprise to see that boy grow up to call her his mother.

This something friendship can solve but hey... hatred and disdain has overtaken over back to back.

Olasco93 has given you best advice be careful how you go about this thing, otherwise, what may come afterwards will you shock you to marrows. Mothers are very protective of their offspring and as a woman, you should know better.

It's

LastProphet:


respect

Thank God you see what smart mind sees. let others keep advising the op to do otherwise

I888:
The emboldened is one of the major reason for my earlier post. Just imagine the angery undertone her post and those of others around here and which is why I said if it were her own child it would be a different story. Hiding under the pretense that she is 14 year old ish. She does not like the girl in question and it's very obvious for discerning mind. It's very obvious from the tone of her post.

I know a certain nairalander who adores her stepson such that you would wonder if she was the real mother. I won't be surprise to see that boy grow up to call her his mother.

This something friendship can solve but hey... hatred and disdain has overtaken over back to back.

Olasco93 has given you best advice be careful how you go about this thing, otherwise, what may come afterwards will you shock you to marrows. Mothers are very protective of their offspring and as a woman, you should know better.

It's

Do u mind her?

She started calling me names

Over a child dats ur own husband's blood na wa for sum women

A child froma broken hme u cant show her love?
considering d same blood flows in ur own kids vein same with d girl!
Omo any child in my own care is good as my own

Wud love d child i love my heart

I wud take it as fun imagine me nd my hubby tryin to run to make love in anoda room d running d tip toe things gettin to d guest room closing d door laughin at ourselves gettin down to business it sounds fun to me


I love to turn situations to favor me


Op is just a bitter woman! Competition with a 14 yr old ur husband's daughter madness!

I just had to agree to their madness m nt in d mood to insult today or argue deep dunno why

sickstars:


Do u mind her?

She started calling me names

Over a child dats ur own husband's blood na wa for sum women

A child froma broken hme u cant show her love?
considering d same blood flows in ur own kids vein same with d girl!
Omo any child in my own care is good as my own

Wud love d child i love my heart

I wud take it as fun imagine me nd my hubby tryin to run to make love in anoda room d running d tip toe things gettin to d guest room closing d door laughin at ourselves gettin down to business it sounds fun to me


I love to turn situations to favor me


Op is just a bitter woman! Competition with a 14 yr old ur husband's daughter madness!

I just had to agree to their madness m nt in d mood to insult today or argue deep dunno why

My dear, I didn't even respond to mentions. I have made my point clear. It's the OP's headache and not mind.

Any small mistake, she will eventually involve the mother of the girl and I am sure NO NAIRALAND will be there when it happens.

I888:
My dear, I didn't even respond to mentions. I have made my point clear. It's the OP's headache and not mind.

Any small mistake, she will eventually involve the mother of the girl and I am sure NO NAIRALAND will be there when it happens.

Dats why if any lady knos she cant love any child dats nt her own as tho the child is her own

Such a lady shd do away with single fathers !

Maybe they should have a 3some with the girl to show her love. That way she won't be a bitter step-mom for not wanting to share a bed with father and daughter..

do you fellows even read what you type before you post it?

You agreed to your own madness mbok not anyone else's.

sickstars:


Do u mind her?

She started calling me names

Over a child dats ur own husband's blood na wa for sum women

A child froma broken hme u cant show her love?
considering d same blood flows in ur own kids vein same with d girl!
Omo any child in my own care is good as my own

Wud love d child i love my heart

I wud take it as fun imagine me nd my hubby tryin to run to make love in anoda room d running d tip toe things gettin to d guest room closing d door laughin at ourselves gettin down to business it sounds fun to me


I love to turn situations to favor me


Op is just a bitter woman! Competition with a 14 yr old ur husband's daughter madness!

I just had to agree to their madness m nt in d mood to insult today or argue deep dunno why

sickstars:


Dats why if any lady knos she cant love any child dats nt her own as tho the child is her own

Such a lady shd do away with single fathers !

There is nairalander, not a Nigerian though, who shows so much love on her stepson. OMG! That lady is DAMN complete in all ramification. You would think the child is hers. She has had to take care of that boy for more than 2 years and she just had her own child last year.

What do you think a good man will do to such a woman? How would the child react when he sees his mother in the future? I don't know why people just feel they are above every other humans when both will be buried in same ground.

Just imagine! I am not saying the girl in question is doing something right, she may not even be aware that it is wrong and we do not know her relationship with her dad prior to the coming of the OP who seem threatened by her presence lol.

Simple education and heart to heart talk in a friendly manner will solve this. Is there anything bad if she propose to spend time with the girl and make her fears disappear, cuddle her etc? At least both her women! a perfect chance for her to win the father's heart even more. BUT NO, she feels threatened and challenged.

cococandy:
Maybe they should have a 3some with the girl to show her love. That way she won't be a bitter step-mom for not wanting to share a bed with father and daughter..

do you fellows even read what you type before you post it?

You agreed to your own madness mbok not anyone else's.

3some ke ?

Its nt everytime me nd my hubby will b avin sex
M ok if i av a child related by blood sleeping on d bed with me nd hubby m d loving loving kinda mum


Just cos she sleeps on d bed with us doesnt mean morally she wont stand out among her peers

Every one does wat suits dem ma

A 14yr old doesnt av d intention of avin sex with her dad ma!

I888:
There is nairalander, not a Nigerian though, who shows so much love on her stepson. OMG! That lady is DAMN complete in all ramification. You would think the child is hers. She has had to take care of that boy for more than 2 years and she just had her own child last year.

What do you think a good man will do to such a woman? How would the child react when he sees his mother in the future? I don't know why people just feel they are above every other humans when both will be buried in same ground.

Just imagine! I am not saying the girl in question is doing something right, she may not even be aware that it is wrong and we do not know her relationship with her dad prior to the coming of the OP who seem threatened by her presence lol.

Simple education and heart to heart talk in a friendly manner will solve this. Is there anything bad if she propose to spend time with the girl and make her fears disappear, cuddle her etc? At least both her women! a perfect chance for her to win the father's heart even more. BUT NO, she feels threatened and challenged.

U are 100% right!

Same thing i told her too

The angry undertone and anything else you're reading is in your head.
Call a spade a spade when you see it.
If one can walk out their own child for invading their privacy at bed time, why would you assume that them doing it to their step child is out of hatred for the child?

That's how unrealistic folks like you make step-parenting an uphill task for some women because any correction they give to a stepchild is misinterpreted out of the bias of your own hearts and nothing else. They can't do anything right because jugdy judgy people like you will be around to spout rubbish.

I'm sure that nairalander's step-son doesn't share a bed with her and the father. (Except he's a toddler)

Pls take several seats. You guys aren't making any sense.

I888:
The emboldened is one of the major reason for my earlier post. Just imagine the angery undertone her post and those of others around here and which is why I said if it were her own child it would be a different story. Hiding under the pretense that she is 14 year old ish. She does not like the girl in question and it's very obvious for discerning mind. It's very obvious from the tone of her post.

I know a certain nairalander who adores her stepson such that you would wonder if she was the real mother. I won't be surprise to see that boy grow up to call her his mother.

This something friendship can solve but hey... hatred and disdain has overtaken over back to back.

Olasco93 has given you best advice be careful how you go about this thing, otherwise, what may come afterwards will you shock you to marrows. Mothers are very protective of their offspring and as a woman, you should know better.

It's

Sarcasm flies over your head.

Sorry.

sickstars:


3some ke ?

Its nt everytime me nd my hubby will b avin sex
M ok if i av a child related by blood sleeping on d bed with me nd hubby m d loving loving kinda mum


Just cos she sleeps on d bed with us doesnt mean morally she wont stand out among her peers

Every one does wat suits dem ma

A 14yr old doesnt av d intention of avin sex with her dad ma!

cococandy:
The angry undertone and anything else you're reading is in your head.
Call a spade a spade when you see it.
If one can walk out their own child for invading their privacy at bed time, why would you assume that them doing it to their step child is out of hatred for the child?

That's how unrealistic folks like you make step-parenting an uphill task for some women because any correction they give to a stepchild is misinterpreted out of the bias of your own hearts and nothing else. They can't do anything right because jugdy judgy people like you will be around to spout rubbish.

I'm sure that nairalander's step-son doesn't share a bed with her and the father. (Except he's a toddler)

Pls take several seats. You guys aren't making any sense.

As you can see, I didn't bother quote you anymore and advise you do same. Have you had your own child since you got married? Please come back and share your experience when you do. In the mean time, I give you same advise: "take several seat and you don't make sense to me"

And how will telling her to sleep in her own room prevent them from forming a friendship-if necessary?
How will that prevent them from having a good parent child relationship?
If they don't share that bed that means nothing she ever does for the girl will be worth anything?
She won't be showing her love of she doesn't indulge her sleeping in their bedroom?

I888:
There is nairalander, not a Nigerian though, who shows so much love on her stepson. OMG! That lady is DAMN complete in all ramification. You would think the child is hers. She has had to take care of that boy for more than 2 years and she just had her own child last year.

What do you think a good man will do to such a woman? How would the child react when he sees his mother in the future? I don't know why people just feel they are above every other humans when both will be buried in same ground.

Just imagine! I am not saying the girl in question is doing something right, she may not even be aware that it is wrong and we do not know her relationship with her dad prior to the coming of the OP who seem threatened by her presence lol.

Simple education and heart to heart talk in a friendly manner will solve this. Is there anything bad if she propose to spend time with the girl and make her fears disappear, cuddle her etc? At least both her women! a perfect chance for her to win the father's heart even more. BUT NO, she feels threatened and challenged.

cococandy:
Sarcasm flies over your head.

Sorry.

chai only me dis morning wat av i done to u ?

I888:
As you can see, I didn't bother quote you anymore and advise you do same. Have you had your own child since you got married? Please come back and share your experience when you do. In the mean time, I give you same advise: "take several seat and you don't make sense to me"

No I've not had my own child.
When I do, she won't be sharing a bedroom with us past a certain age.

When you have yours, you can share your bed with her until she turns 21. Then you can start teaching them at that age since 14 is too young for them to learn.

Good for you that stopped quoting me.
First quoting me to yarn rubbish now you're chickening out.

cococandy:

No I've not had my own child.
When I do, she won't be sharing a bedroom with us past a certain age.

When you have yours, you can share your bed with her until she turns 21. Then you can start teaching them at that age since 14 is too young for them to learn.

Good for you that stopped quoting me.
First quoting me to yarn rubbish now you're chickening out.

Madam, I didn't chicken out. I am only avoiding a case where this will turn into dirty fight/battle cos you and I will never agree on this subject which is already so glaring.

Our perspective is widely varied as we are both looking at it from different angles, which are right, only that you feel it's big issue while I feel it's simple.

You feel the best approach is being aggressive to it while I feel otherwise.

So you see where we both stand? Good. We are far apart as far as this subject is concerned.

cococandy:
At 14 puberty has fully set in.
She's a full blown teenager.
Teenage starts at thirTEEN, ends at eighTEEN.

Lol. 'Professionally' you're not the only one who has studied developmental psychology.
And one thing I know in psychology is that we are taught not no enable undesirable behavior.

@14 she's a child but she's also aware of differences between genders, and knows that privacy and sexual activity between couples is a norm (except she's slow).
Perchance she doesn't know, now is the time for her to learn.
And there's no better way to teach her than firmly walking her back to her room when she behaves that way.

All these diplomatic consult-the-oracle-before-you-talk methods are frankly B.S

A parent or step-parent is in a position of authority over an underage child. So it should be easy to tell her this is wrong or right without having to first summon village meeting of elders and walk on tiptoe around the topic as if offending her will end the world.



N.B it's so hard to read your posts with the half words and abbreviations.

TEENage starts at thirTEEN and ends at nineTEEN